Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha
ATTACK OF THE PLUNNIES!
Inuyasha stared at the furry creature blocking their path.
"How cute!" Kagome squealed. She knelt, cooing baby talk.
"Don't touch it!" Inuyasha yanked her away by the back of her shirt.
Shippou ventured forward on all fours, examining the small animal curiously. "It's just a bunny, isn't it?"
"It's not just any bunny," Miroku stated. "It's a plot bunny, the most feared of all creatures."
"What's a plot bunny?" Sango inspected the small animal as it twitched its nose. "And why is it pink?"
"The bite of a plot bunny has unpredictable effects," Miroku explained. "Strange things happen."
The bunny hopped forward. Shippou yelped and darted for the safety of Miroku's shoulder.
Kagome sighed in exasperation. "It's just a bunny, guys!" She reached out to pet it before anyone could stop her.
"Ouch!" Kagome shrieked. Inuyasha reacted instantly and swung Tetsusaiga. The bunny disappeared with a "poof."
"What happened, Kagome?" Sango demanded.
"It bit me!" Kagome clutched her hand to her chest.
"Let me see!" Inuyasha examined her hand. "Nothing to worry about. It's not even bleeding."
"I don't feel so good." Kagome swayed slightly.
"You're not going to get sick, are you?" Inuyasha dropped her hand and put ten feet between him and a possibly vomiting schoolgirl.
"I don't-- I don't think--" She sneezed and started to scratch her head. "My head itches!"
The bushes rustled.
"Look out!" Miroku shouted.
A swarm of cotton candy-colored bunnies burst into the open. They didn't put up much of a fight, simply vanishing in a puff of smoke when struck. But afterwards, everyone was nursing at least one bite.
"Look at Kagome!" Shippou suddenly shouted.
Everybody turned to stare.
"What's wrong? Why are you all staring at me?"
Inuyasha pointed with a shaking hand.
"What?" Kagome reached up and encountered two fuzzy ears on her head.
"You're a hanyou, Mama!" Shippou exclaimed. He clapped both hands over his mouth.
"When did you start calling Kagome Mama?" Inuyasha narrowed his eyes.
"I don't know, Papa! It just came out." Shippou looked shocked and faintly green. "I think I'd better lie down. I don't feel so good."
"I told you strange things happen with plot bunnies," Miroku said. He blinked. "Where did that come from, Lady Kagome?"
"Where did what come from?" Kagome looked down to see a small bundle in her arms. She held it away from her. "I don't know!"
Shippou hopped onto her shoulder. "It's a baby. And it has dog ears just like Inuyasha."
"It's not mine," a furiously blushing hanyou protested.
"Maybe that one's yours." Sango pointed to the second squirming bundle that had appeared in Kagome's arms. "Or that one."
"They can't be mine! I'm still a-- I never even--" Kagome blushed, her arms full of babies.
"That one's a wolf!" Shippou pointed. "And that one's a fox!"
"It's the attack of the plot bunnies!" Miroku exclaimed.
"It's just your imagination." Inuyasha scowled. "I was bitten and nothing's happened to me." He stopped and sniffed the air. "Hey, Kagome, are you in heat? You smell really good!"
Inuyasha walked over to her, grabbed her by the hair, and nipped her neck.
"What are you? A vampire!" Kagome shoved him away as well as she could with her arms full.
"Of course not!" Inuyasha pulled her back to him and tried to bite her again. "Youkai always bite their mates. It's called 'marking.'"
"I never heard of that, Papa," Shippou commented. "Only blood-sucking youkai bite people and never their mates."
Inuyasha ignored him, more interested in licking Kagome's neck.
Miroku rubbed the bump on his head while Sango glared at him.
"It's not my fault," he complained. "It's the plot bunnies!"
He inched away from the tajiya and casually goosed Kagome. She shrieked and tried to retreat without dropping babies.
"Stop that!" Inuyasha shouted.
"I can't!" His hand found its way to the hanyou's butt.
The monk crashed to the ground with a brand-new lump on his head.
"Stupid monk." Inuyasha regarded the twitching form warily.
"Get off me, Shippou," Kagome complained. "You're heavy."
The kitsune tumbled off the girl's shoulder, bounced, and got much bigger in a hurry. His clothes burst at the seams.
"You grew up fast," Miroku commented, removing his outer robe and handing it to the now full-grown and naked fox demon. The girls blushed and averted their eyes.
Shippou studied his larger hands. Suddenly, he looked at Kagome and smiled. "Now that I'm not a kid anymore, you can be my mate. I've always loved you."
"What!" Inuyasha and Kagome exclaimed at the same time.
"Hey, Inuyasha," Sango ventured, "where are your ears?"
Inuyasha was distracted from trying to pound Shippou into the ground. He patted the top of his head and pulled a hank of hair forward to examine. Jet black.
"Is this another effect of the plot bunnies? It's not even the new moon!"
The bushes rustled.
Everyone spun to face the noise, readying their weapons. Kagome put the fourth baby (this one completely human-looking) with the others and put an arrow on her bow.
Sesshoumaru stepped into the open, followed by Jaken and a little girl. He coolly surveyed the rattled group of shard seekers.
"This Sesshoumaru wonders if you have noticed anything strange."
"A pink bunny bit Lord Sesshoumaru!" the little girl squealed.
"You know Rin." He indicated the girl, and continued with no change of expression, "She is my ward now, but when she comes of age, I will take her as my mate."
Kagome gagged. "She's just a child!"
Sesshoumaru shrugged. "I admit that this Sesshoumaru's tastes do not normally run to children, but she'll grow. Come along, Rin. These fools obviously know nothing. We're leaving."
Rin giggled and scampered after him, with Jaken huffing and puffing behind them.
Inuyasha spun to face Miroku. "You know something about these plot bunnies. When will their effect wear off?"
Miroku shrugged helplessly. "It's hard to say. It might be permanent."
"I don't want it to be permanent!" Kagome wailed. "How will I explain this to Mama?" She waved her hand at the four squirming, crying babies and put the fifth (a full demon) with the rest.
"Everything will be fine, koibito," Inuyasha reassured her, and then looked horrified by what he had just said.
"I don't want to be big anymore!" Shippou dropped onto the ground, kicking his feet while big tears ran down his face. "It's not fair! I'm supposed to be a little kid."
"It will wear off!" Inuyasha insisted. "Everybody grab a pup... I mean brat...er, baby... ugh! Just grab one and we'll head back to Kaede's village. She'll know what to do."
"I never trusted that pink bunny," Shippou muttered.
Food for thought: There are two periods when fishing is good: before you get there and after you leave.
Just something random and completely without a point. It's meant to be just a oneshot, but it may be continued if I get any funny or fangirlish inspiration. Who knows? Enjoy it and let me know what you think!