Coauthor's note: I think my writing skills are rusty o.o
"Yukimura, I'm cold." Sasuke shivered and snuggled in closer to Yukimura.
"You're the one who wouldn't wear anything other than your short shorts, and I told you Alaska is cold this time of year!"
"But these are lined in goat fur! I bought them when we were in Greece!" He shivered some more. "And I think I'm getting icicles in places where there should never be icicles."
Yukimura sighed. "Do I need to give you my spare coat?" He felt Sasuke nod on his back. He brought the All-Terrain-Giraffe to a stop, which they were riding like a motorcycle across a frozen lake. He hopped off and opened a compartment in the ATG's side. A man's head popped out.
"Are my services needed?" Sasuke leapt off the ATG.
"No, you stupid lawyer! Get back in there!"
Yukimura patted the lawyer's head reassuringly. "Now now, Sasuke, be nice to the emergency lawyer! We might need him someday"The lawyer began to purr and rubbed his head against Yukimura's hand. "Lawyer, could you get me my other coat?"
The lawyer disappeared back into the ATG's side. A moment later, he returned with a giant purple furry mass that could be called a coat if you used your imagination. Yukimura took the coat, thanked the lawyer, and closed the compartment on the lawyer's head. He handed the coat to Sasuke, who took it, almost reluctantly. He felt like an idiot wearing it, but at least he was warmer.
They got back on the ATG. "You know, that lawyer gives me the creeps." Sasuke glanced suspiciously at the compartment door.
The ATG started again with a quiet moo.
A few hours later, Yukimura felt Sasuke prod him in the side.
"Yukimura, I think the wind is picking up." Sasuke could feel the wind on his exposed thighs, yet they weren't cold, because Sasuke's thighs simply did not get cold. How else could he manage to wear short shorts at all times of the year?
Yukimura thoughtfully looked at the ominous clouds starting to block out the late afternoon sun. "Indeed, Sasuke, I think we have a blizzard coming on! We should go find shelter somewhere."
"But where? There's nothing around us but trees, and trees, and that cave, and trees-" He stopped suddenly and eyed the cave they were passing. His ninja senses told him that cave was a bad, bad idea. He noticed Yukimura looking at the cave as well.
"I get the feeling that that cave is a bad, bad idea," Yukimura mused, "but what choice do we have? I know you can brave out a blizzard in a tree, but where are Bubbles and I supposed to go?" He started steering the ATG towards the cave.
The ATG mooed in alarm. The wind was pushing them, it was blowing so hard, and the snow was coming down so thickly that they could hardly see the entrance to the cave. Bubbles seemed to understand that the cave was their only hope, so it reluctantly carried them into the cave.
Within minutes, enough snow had piled up to cover half of the entrance to the cave. Yukimura made a mental note that they would have to try out the drill feature of the ATG when the blizzard died down.
Sasuke sniffed the air. "Why does it smell like Bontenmaru's old dorm room in here?"
Yukimura, who had often partied with Kyo and Bon during Bon's college days, noticed incredulously that the cave did indeed smell masculine, musty, almost furry, and decidedly like B.O.
The snow had covered the entrance completely now, and the only light came from the screens on the ATG's neck.
The little ninja lowered his voice and barely managed to whisper, "And why does that sound like Bontenmaru's snoring?"
They looked at each other in the dim electronic light. Yukimura whispered back, "I didn't tell you this earlier, since I didn't want to scare you-" Sasuke snorted. "But the GPS has been unable to figure out where the heck we are for some hours now."
Sasuke, who normally did not fear anything save what went on in his own household, especially Kyo's room, suddenly began to be afraid.
He stuttered. "You don't think it might be... A yeti?"
Before Yukimura could answer, the snoring stopped with a loud snort, and they knew they were about to find out.
I'm feeling rather braindead. The author can continue this XD
Author here: …And so I did.
Sasuke pulled his sword out from underneath his short-shorts. Yukimura put on his angry face.
And something shuffled out from the back of the cave. Something tall, hairy, and scratching at its danger zone.
It was Bontenmaru. Sasuke started to relax, but Yukimura poked at him and hissed.
"No, Sasuke! Bontenmaru is extremely irritable when he's woken from hibernation! Stay on your toes."
Sasuke nodded and kept his sword up. They watched Bontenmaru shuffle past them and open a small fridge, taking out a beer. He slammed the fridge shut and went deeper into the cave. A moment later they could hear the sound of penguin schoolgirl porn drifting through the cave. A moment after that they heard snores again.
Sasuke finally relaxed and slipped his sword back up his shorts, an action that made Yukimura blush.
"I guess we'll just have to wait out the storm. However will we keep warm?" Yukimura purred. Sasuke shrugged.
It turns out that penguin schoolgirl porn helps.