Author's Notes: Hey readers, I know, it's been TOO long since i've updated. Well, to all of my dedicated readers, I give you the next chapter! woot. woot. Anyways, I want to thank all of my previous reviewers and all those who encouraged me to update. I appreciate it. :smiles:
Staring out into the open night, she wondered…if perhaps there was any other way to stop this feeling within her. It scared Hinata that thinking about the strange man, Sasuke, made her heart beat fast. After all, she just saw him for one time tonight, or so it seemed because of the fogginess in her memory. Her white pearl eyes stared out the window of her apartment. After coming home, Hinnta couldn't eat, sleep, or change. Instead, she sat on a chair near the windowsill, still dressed in her engagement apparel, with her arms resting on the windowsill. Her white eyes was transfixed at the dark sky and bright stars. She had cried her tears tonight. Tired, Hinata looked forlornly at the dark sky. There was nothing else she wanted to do.
With a soft sigh, Hinata's felt her heart ready to burst. Even with such a sad expression, her heart was still beating faster than usual. So many events had happened tonight that she never dreamed would ever happen. Her past was unraveling and her present life disintegrating. She felt confused in so many ways.
The way you looked at me invoked such strange emotions, Hinata thought pensively as she imagined Sasuke's pale ivory skin and dark ebony hair.
"Ah!" she grimaced. Her wrists had smoothed over each other. She had almost forgotten the strong grip Sasuke had inflicted on her hands earlier. There was bound to be bruises in the morning. Just feeling the pain made Hinata cringe in confusion. For some reason, her heart was continually beating unusually fast to his image. Shaking her head, Hinata tried to dispel any thoughts of him.
This is wrong, just so wrong…What is wrong with me?
Hinata hid her head beneath her arms on the windowsill, ashamed at herself.
Sasuke couldn't sleep. His eyes were puffy red and swollen as he stared at the dark ceiling above him. For the whole night he lay awake in his bed during the darkest hours. Sakura was gone after she had "consoled" him with her words. But Sasuke was tired and found no solace in them. After all, there was nothing that changed...Hinata was still not back in his arms. And so when he was tired, he let his emotions run high. Immediately, he imagined the porcelain skin, the white eyes, and the dark hair.
A small smile came to his lips and his eyes brightened at the thought of seeing her again…desperately if chance gave him it.
He knew he was becoming truly crazy.
"Hinata, open up the door!" shouted Tenten worriedly. She pounded the apartment door, but there was no answer. It was finally morning and Tenten had rushed over to Hinata's apartment. "Hinata, PLEASE, open the door!" However it was to no avail. "Ugggh!" sighed Tenten in frustration, kicking the apartment door in defeat.
Tenten shook her head, giving up. She was concerned during the whole night about Gaara and Hinata that she couldn't sleep. Last night, watching Gaara's back as he walked home made Tenten feel immensely guilty. The whole engagement break-up had to be a misunderstanding, she thought worriedly.
Thus, she had come here today to talk with Hinata and convince her that marrying Gaara was the right decision. But it seemed that Hinata must have left earlier.
"Geez, Hinata, you're only making this harder for yourself," spoke an exasperated Tenten as she walked away.
Lack of passion.
These three things ran through Sakura's mind over and over as she combed through her pink hair with a silver brush. It was a beautiful day outside and she could tell by the slight breeze that blew into the window of her room. But for Sakura, there was no sunshine without Sasuke. Physically and mentally, she was sore from yesterday's events. There were obvious bags under her eyes. However there wasn't anything but a touch of make-up to help make Sakura's face flawless as usual.
"Sakura, are you okay?" asked Mrs. Haruno worriedly, peeking out from the door. She could see her daughter's expression in the mirror and saw the tired expression. "You're upset aren't you? Sakura, I don't want you to hurt yourself like this. Sasuke is…" Mrs. Haruno struggled a bit with her last words," He isn't the best-"
"Don't talk, Mom," spoke Sakura with a hint of anger. She pulled out the drawer in front of her and took out her make-up. "Just don't say anything, please."
Mrs. Haruno gave a long sigh, her emerald eyes clear looking at Sakura with concern. She shook her head slowly knowing there was nothing she could do. Sakura truly had her father's stubbornness. Closing the door, she left her daughter alone.
With the room suddenly silent again, Sakura turned her head left and right several times to gaze at her facial angles. Slowly, with effort, she practiced her smiles. No teeth, with teeth, cricked smile, grin, chuckle, a giggle.
All for you… she thought silently. All for you, Sasuke.
"...I don't want to discover anything with you," mumbled Hinata uncomfortably in the small cafe. Her eyes were downcast. She was dressed in a red shirt with jeans and a brown leather jacket. Her hair was down and pulled behind her ears. Her hands fidgeted on the table as she tried not to look up at Gaara.
He gazed at her with kind cerulean eyes. Gaara smiled softly, not angry that Hinata had lashed out at him. He didn't want to provoke Hinata any further than she could handle. Judging by yesterday's reaction, Gaara was extra careful this morning in handling Hinata's emotions.
Now it wasn't to say he was manipulating her for his interests. No...For him, Gaara found no reason else but to defend his love. His hand slowly guided toward Hinata's covering her hands gently. Hinata jerked and tried to pull away, but he held on tight.
"Gaara..." Hinata strained her voice. This wasn't right. Not anymore. And yet she knew she wasn't courageous enough to look at him in the face. You did it last night and you can do it again, Hinata. Hinata sighed, her mind boggled up with confounding thoughts. "I made myself clear...I don't want to m-marry you. I can't."
Gaara fought back the pain and he smiled softly again.
"Hinata, do you love me?" he asked.
Gaara knew he was making it harder for her, but this was hard for him also. She wasn't the only person suffering.
Hinata bit her lip upsettingly. I had a feeling you would ask this, she thought. Closing her eyes, Hinata took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Slowly, she looked up at Gaara.
Gaara gave a wide smile, finally happy to see Hinata look at him. His hand reached up to her face, but Hinata backed away.
"But I can't and w-won't marry you," was her plea.
Gaara frowned," Hinata."
Hinata shook her head," You don't understand, Gaara. I don't want to hurt anyone. I need time. For a person who has no recollection of her past, time is an opportunity to discover new and old things." With a stronger fervor, Hinata spoke more confidently," I can't be with you. With my current situation, I can only hurt people." Hinata watched painfully as Gaara retracted his hand quickly, slamming the table.
"Dammit, Hinata, can't you see how much I am trying to understand you?" growled Gaara. As a child, he always had anger problems. It was a result of his father's abuse and his mother's death. But when he met Hinata, he was captivated by her gentle nature--someone so different from him. And so this...this...was something he never expected from Hinata. "You love me, Hinata! You even said it yourself!" He looked at her with scathing eyes. He was upset, jealous, and confused by her words. How could she be so cruel? Gaara was clenching his teeth, trying to supress the anger. Was it that man...is it because of him that she still lingers to protect him...? Gaara hadn't felt this angry in four years...this...hopelessness.
He wanted to so much hold Hinata, kiss her, be with her for the rest of his life, goddammit!!
Hinata saw his anger and inside she was shivering like a dog. But, she soon altered herself to stare at him with penetrating eyes. She had never looked at him before with such honesty. She saw Gaara's evident pain and through her eyes she hoped that he would too, see her own pain reflecting back at him; her own white eyes revealing the inevitability of her decision.
Gaara was the first one to react. As if a spell being broken, his eyes softened. His lips quivered as he reached over slowly across the table to touch Hinata's cheeks. The touch was easing, and a soft sigh came out of his mouth. He felt his muscle tension relax and he found himself glad that he could touch her soft porcelain skin. So soft...so fragile...so beautiful.
Hinata closed her eyes, raising a hand up to hold his hand on her cheek. She took a mental picture of his face--the kind expression she loved so much about him.
"Thank you," she whispered gratuitously, her eyes still closed. I will remember this face forever... Opening her eyes, she placed his hand gently down, grabbed her duffel bag, and stood up from her seat. "Good bye, Gaara." Holding back her tears, Hinata left. As soon as she was outside the cafe, her tears ran free. Walking away, Hinata held her arms close to her chest, the wind biting at her wet cheeks.
Gaara watched Hinata leave. His cerulean eyes looked painstakingly at her figure. She deserves the opportunity, he told himself over an over as an excuse to hide his obvious unhappiness. He forced a small smile as he wished Hinata all the happiness in the world.
Would I always be watching...behind a glass window...unable to run after her?
His hands shifted into fists.
"One ticket to Shinagawa, please," spoke Hinata politely to the lady behind at the subway station. She handed the money and the lady gave her the ticket. Her train ride would take her to Shinagawa in two hours. Holding onto the strap of her duffel bag around her shoulder, Hinata took a seat by a group of elderly ladies dressed in kimonos. There was the exception of a small girl with them, dressed in a kimono as well, playing with a doll. Hinata smiled, Was there a party celebration? she wondered.
Hinata's eyes widened...an image coming to her mind.
"O-nee-san!" exclaimed a small child.
"Hanabi-chan!" exclaimed the nine year old child happily holding up a teddy bear.
The small child waved her arms excitedly in the air, trying to reach the white teddy bear. "O-O-nee-san!"
The child giggled and wrapped her arms around the two-year old. Kissing the baby on the cheek, she presented the teddy bear to the child. "Onee-san's gift to Hanabi-chan!"
Hinata blinked her eyes, amazed by the flashback. H-hanabi...w-was that the name of m-my sister? Her eyes were wide as she contemplated the scene in her head. It was...something she didn't expect to happen. After these long years, how come it was now that she saw an image from the past? Her hands shook uncontrollably in excitement and shock. Can this be really happening? Will I regain my memories? Hinata smiled to herself, looking at her fingers with a sort of eagerness in what other memories she would remember.
Hinata looked around the subway station, glancing at the faces of people beside her. What other things will trigger these memories? she wondered curiously. Placing her hands in the pockets of her brown leather jacket, it stopped the shakiness of her hands. Leaning back in her seat, Hinata closed her eyes. It was just twenty more minutes until the next subway came. Many people were standing or sitting around her, Hinata just closed her eyes...allowing her heart to still beat with elation.
Things won't be the same anymore...no matter what happens I can't go back...
Hinata's eyes opened to see the subway to Shinagawa arrive. Standing up, she entered along with bustles of other people. Entering the subway, all the seats had already been filled. With a small frown, Hinata hoped her legs would not cramp during the two hours. Leaning on a wall opposite of the entrances of the subway, Hinata looked at the ground. She was really going to start a new life simply by walking away from her old one. Was it wrong? Unjustifiable?
I find myself sighing more than usual, Hinata thought upsettingly. Frowning, she wondered where she would be staying for the night.
"Excuse me!" exlcaimed a woman's shout.
"Sir, I beg your pardon!" an elderly man stated angrily.
"What the hell, man?" spoke a young teenager's voice.
Hearing the commotion, Hinata looked up and with shocked eyes she stared into the face of Gaara.
Gaara was panting as he walked haggardly to Hinata. Hinata stared widely at him, unable to believe the sight before her eyes.
Hinata winced as she felt Gaara's hands on each side of her, near her face. She stared at him with fear, at the never-before-seen blaze of cerulean orbs. Her breathing was fast and rough from the shock.
"I don't fucking care what you think, Hinata, but I will never leave you." His voice was cold, unfeeling, and yet darkishly romantic.
Hinata shuddered under his words but no one else near her dared to speak out. This was nothing she had ever expected from Gaara. He was always such a kind, thoughtful person. However...
"There's a side you haven't seen, yet," he spoke again with a cold edginess. He touched her soft cheek with his thumb and slowly licked his lips," You don't want to know, do you?" You're so beautiful, you know that? So wonderfully frail and soft that I want to taste you... Gaara smiled afraid his thoughts were beginning to venture into "other" things. Slowly, he leveled his face with Hinata's, leaving just a few centimeters gap between them.
Ten minutes ago, the subway had already started traveling, now taking them both to Shinagawa...together.
"I love you, Hinata," he spoke with a dark smile. He believed inhimself and no way in the world was he going to let Hinata free from his grasp. You can't just run away, he thought grimly.
A small sweat poured down from Hinata's face. She was frightened, her heart beating fast in a way that installed fear all over her system. She nodded.
"I-I know, Gaara. I a-already k-know." She couldn't forget how her heart almost stopped when she heard that slam on both her sides. It was as if someone had shot her through the heart.
Gaara smiled," Good."
He closed their distance with a shattering kiss. Hinata closed her eyes as if in pain, but did not respond. Gaara huddled himself around Hinata so that no one could see the kiss they shared...or rather the kiss he was solely indulging on. However, he didn't mind. Hinata held her hands up to his chest in order to push him away, but it didn't work. She moaned in pain as she felt him grab her bandaged wrists. They were going to be bruised for a few days. Hinata made a loud yelp.
"Ahh-!" Hinata yelped but was stopped short by Gaara's embrace. "S-stop," begged Hinata whisperedly," G-gaara, you have to stop this." Her eyes grew watery. She didn't want this. She didn't want him like this. It scared her. She thought he had understood her position. Didn't he?
"Shhh," cooed Gaara as his hands around her ran up and down her back. "I'm here for you." He stared at Hinata lovingly," I will give you your time. However much you need it, I will give you all that you want. But, I can't lose you. And I know I will if I leave you." Seeing her silent response, Gaara embraced Hinata one more time. Letting out a breath of relief, his eyes stared darkly out the subway window. "Gawd, I love you," he whispered near her ear.
Hinata closed her eyes, keeping her tears in control, wishing that this was all a dream. Her wrists were wracking with pain and just bending them a little caused an afflictive sensation. She coudn't believe it. By the feel of her shaky nerves, Hinata had never felt herself more terrified of the man she said she loved.
This can't be, she thought scaredly, This can't be. She stood still in his arms, paralyzed by his "romantic" intimidation to her freedom. How could a person change so much in just a few hours?
Author's Notes: Wow. So...is Hinata wishing she hadn't left Gaara at the cafe? And what is up with Sakura? She's smiling too much for her own good. lol. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and THANK YOU again. PLEASE review. I have not written for this story in a long time and any reviews would be a delight, joy, and honor. Thank you again for the support!