One: Inspired by a thread on the adult swim boards in which someone posted a picture of somebody cosplaying as Naruto with a sexchange. And not the Sexy no jutsu, literally a sexchange.
We: And high dosages of GO! By Flow, the 4th Season's Opening Theme. I have never loved an anime song so much.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Warnings: Insanity. Shoujo-ai, shounen-ai, incest, all that lovely stuff.
We all know that Kyuubi is one bitchin' angry nine-tailed fox demon, right?
And that he got pissed at the Village of Fire, Konoha, and decided to go and blast it away.
Let's put a different look on this, shall we?
Instead of just stomping it to a bloody mass (if he had done that, you know there wouldn't have been a problem), let's say he decided to curse it. Then was cursed in return.
Just for kicks.
And the curse was not to come into effect until…say… a special event.
And he changed the reason for that curse and he himself was being cursed.
Say… not until…
His host was to experience a life-changing event.
What IS that life-changing event, persay?
"Bastard, why the fuck did you jump in front of those needles?.! I still don't understand."
Smirk. "A special event."
Glare. "You're a real uptight ass, you know that?"
Well, it happened something along those lines.
His life-changing event.
Happened just like that.
And almost INSTANTLY! (Well, so it took a few weeks…)
The curse was it place.
What is the curse?
"P-Please… you have to c-come…"
"I-it's Neji! He's…he's…"
"Oh my Kyuu—"
"Neji-kun! You musn't show yourself!"
"You're…YOU'RE NOT DECENT!"
Indeed he wasn't. He WOULD'VE been considered decent for a male…
He wasn't a male.
"BY THE GATE NEJI PUT ON A SHIRT!"
And it started.
It began with the Hyuuga clan… soon Hinata was a male.
"Neji-kun…what am I going to do?"
"I can't go in public like this…"
"Then we'll go in public together."
"You're now a male, as I am female."
"Let the villagers think what they will. After all, it's not far from the truth."
Hyuuga Neji and Hinata were like that.
And now it was even freakier because it really felt like Neji was looking a very shy and timid version of himself… and Hinata. Well… she was just lost.
Needless to say, it continued on through the village until…
"IRUKA! YOU HAVE TO HELP!"
"What is it Kakashi…?"
"NOW I CAN PEEK ON THE WOMEN ALL I LIKE!" Glomp.
"Ack! Kakashi! Get off of me!"
Our own pervert-nin Hatake Kakashi was now… a WOMAN. Haha…
But it only continued until Naruto woke up to hear a loud ringing in his ears.
"The hell…? Kyuubi?"
"IT'S COMING TO FRUITION!"
Now Naruto knew Kyuubi was insane.
He had been 'living' with him for over 10 years now.
So he hadbecome accustomed to the fox's angry tirades.
He stopped dead. "Curse…?"
"SASUKE-TEME ARE YOU LISTENING!"
Now Sasuke was not a morning person.
Especially a 3:47 in the morning person.
And most DEFINITELY not a loud-in-your-face Naruto at 3:47 in the morning person.
"Sasuke-teme! We've got a…oh shit, not you too."
It was like a very fucked up version of the harem jutsu, except it was everyone and it was not going to go away.
"What are you staring at, dobe?"
And Sasuke noticed.
"HOLY FUCK WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL IS GOING ON!.?"
And promptly slammed the door on Naruto.
Now Naruto may be naïve, but was certainly not stupid.
He knew there was something he could do to stop the curse.
"You could release me."
"Fat chance, Kyuubi."
Now back to the issue.
All of the er… 'lingerie' shops were being flooded with male-female customers as they yelled their displeasure and embarrassed the merchants.
The Men's stores weren't doing any better.
Not many women-men had any loose fitting clothing, and if they did… well… it was a bit airy.
There was a helluva commotion for the remaining non transsexual residents.
Very few, actually.
Even Itachi was now female.
Which was REALLY weird to see.
Of course, Itachi had lived in the village when the curse was placed.
To walk in on a 17-year-old missing-nin hopping around struggling to put on a bra…
Who was formerly male…
Kisame swore he would never live down that day.
Although Sasuke couldn't say he was too displeased.
He got what he deserved.
Which was a lot, seeing as Sasuke also happened to be a girl by now.
Back to Konoha.
It was in an uproar.
Everyday, one more person was switching genders.
So it was getting fucking weird.
"EEK! INO-CHAN YOU NEED TO GET SOME BOXERS!"
"Why would I want to do that, Sakura-chan?"
"Just look at yourself."
And there she-he was.
In all her-his glory.
When Sakura saw her-him again…
They were both guys by now.
What the hell.
They had the most well-curved male bodies they had every SEEN.
Who's left by now?
Let me think.
Choji became his exact opposite- a rather lean a curvaceous female, which Rock Lee became the female version of Naruto. Loud, obnoxious, and skilled.
Gai… he er…
The rival of the infamous Kakshi was scared of himself.
This just leaves Konohamaru, Gaara, Temari, and Ten-ten.
Kankurou was already one really freaky looking chick.
When Konohamaru changed…
You couldn't tell actually.
He was too young to really notice.
"This. Is. Hell."
"Kankurou, I'm sure it'll disappear in time."
"No it won't."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because of Gaara." Point.
"Oh my- GAARA! YOU'VE GOT BIGEGR BREASTS THAN ME!"
Temari was one weird rabid fangirl.
Soon to be fanboy.
"My own brother has bigger breasts than me… WHY!.?"
"Because you're flat now."
"Kankurou, don't say that!"
"Well… you are. And you should borrow some of my clothes until you find yourself a proper outfit…"
And she did.
I never knew that someone from the Village of Sand could be so loud she could scare the hidden nin on the Village of Sound.
This leaves Naruto and Ten-ten.
Now Ten-ten had become rather accustomed to the Sand nin.
And was fairly well acquainted with Temari.
But when she found Temari, cowering beneath a tree with a stoic (female) Gaara and a rather (female) cheerful looking Kankurou standing at her side, and with the madness of Konoha, she knew something was definitely up.
"Ten-ten, what do you make of this?.!"
She pointed to her brothers-sisters and herself.
"A very strange coincidence."
"But I can't chase Sasuke if I'm now a male!"
"Don't worry there, he's already a girl."
"Besides, he's taken."
Of course Temari wouldn't have heard of Itachi; she wasn't a native of Konoha.
But to the point.
"Don't worry about it. Besides, we're both guys now."
Oh so that's why she was wearing such baggy clothes…
"So… is this village almost all full of transsexuals?"
"Everyone except for…"
He had to face this chaos.
And Kyuubi thought he would be horrified.
He had never seen anything so hilarious.
What little a gender knew about the opposite…
He smirked at this.
This was going to be fun…
One: Woah. This. Was. Long. Took like a whole hour…
We: Six damn pages. That's long for me.
One: Can't write any more… too much inspiration…