Disclaimer: This computer is stolen my life is shot. Don't sue me cause money I have not.

A/N: Forgive me if this seems like bragging but I believe that this story is the first of its kind. I hope that you enjoy this crossover fic. This takes place after the failed wedding.

Shout out to all you avid gamers out there.

Italics Means Thinking

It was another boring day at school (by Nerima standards anyway) and the pleasant warmth of the afternoon sun found Ranma sitting under a tree, staring intently at the second hand of a watch.

Lets see, Shampoo and Ukyo should be here in 5…4…3…2…1…

SMASH! A section of wall near the tree caved in, scattering rubble everywhere.

"Aiyah! Shampoo have too too good lunch for Airen!"

SMASH! Another section of wall, 1 foot away from the first hole, also collapsed.

"Get away from my Ranchan you hussy!"

When did I ever belong to you? Ranma thought irritably.

Ranma ignored the two food fighting girls and concentrated on his watch again.

Hmm…Akane should be coming here in 3…2…1… "Ranma! Get back here and eat the lunch I made for you!" Guess who shouted that?

Ranma's attention didn't waver from his watch as he danced around the girls attempts at trying to force feed him there food (and in one case toxic waste).

Rival appearance in 4…3…2…1…

A third section of wall collapsed showing Ryoga with his titanium umbrella and overlarge pack.

"Ranma how dare you refuse Akane's cooking. Prepare to die!"

Wow this thing is really accurate. Wonder why I didn't think of this before.

Ranma choose not to respond to Ryoga's battle cry . Instead he grabbed Akane's 'lunch' and blocked Ryoga's downward swing. The umbrella Ryoga had attacked with snapped in half and Ranma clonked Ryoga on the head with the 'lunch' for an instant K.O.

Throwing the shapeless mass of matter off to the side (where it started to crawl off on its own) Ranma returned to his watch, counting down the seconds once again.

2…1…Cue Moouse.

"Ranma Saotome how dare you steal Shampoo from me. Prepare to die!"

Moouse promptly unloaded a barrage of chains onto the unfortunate lunch that was still crawling away from the battle scene. Said lunch somehow sprouted teeth and attacked Moouse.

Man, you'd think they would come up with some new lines at least. Oops, almost forgot the guest appearance right about…Now!

All of a sudden there was a flash of light and a small girl with a mallet appeared, She took the hammer off her back and began to smash the unfortunate lunch that Akane had prepared several times, finally making it disappear.

The girl made a victory pose, "Level 5 bug eliminated!" and she vanished in a flash of light.

Well that was a lucky break. Now for the grand finale! "RANMA NO BAKA!" screamed Akane, "How dare you refuse to eat my luch!"

She summoned her mallet and launched Ranma into the LEO. Ranma let the mallet hit him. If he blocked he would never have been able to escape the 'lunch crowd' as Ranma liked to call it. Briefly looking down at the ground falling away Ranma leaned back in midair and put his hands behind his head, drifting off to sleep.

Some time later Ranma woke up from his sleep. Somewhere a voice was saying, "Thank you for riding Akane Airlines. Exits are located directly beneath you."

Ranma yawned and stretched, preparing himself for the landing. Checking his watch he found that he had been in the air for about a half hour. Looking at his landing and finding it normal he shielded himself for impact.


The crater that he made on impact would have made even the Z fighters raise an eyebrow. Even more impressive was that Ranma instantly got up from it.

Looking around Ranma saw that his watch lay in pieces, various parts scattered throughout the landing sight.

Ranma scratched his head in thought, "Oh yeah! That's why I don't use a watch anymore!"

Dusting himself off, Ranma crawled out of the crater and took stock of his surroundings. From the frequent abuse of his fiancée Ranma had gotten quite familiar with the geography of Japan. It helped that he usually had an eagle eye view.

Hmm, this must be Juban again. Oh well, considering where she normally hits me this is quite normal.

Ranma thought back on all of the other times Akane had malleted him…


They were loosing and Usagi knew it. They had tried everything but their tactics just weren't working, even with all of the senshi, minus Pluto, they were just managing to stay out of the way of lethal blows.

The monster, which looked vaguely humanoid, was just playing with them right now as he shrugged off the attacks of the senshi while stalking towards Usagi. Usagi covered her eyes, this time there would be no one to help them at the last second.


A red and black blur soared through the air and flew straight through the Youma's chest, killing it instantly. The blur continued onto the pavement making a huge crater. In the newly formed crater there was a boy with black hair

End Flashback:

Ranma shuddered. He still remembered some of those girls were almost as forward as Shampoo with their affections. However that meeting was nothing compared to the other time he encountered them…


He was heading straight towards a fairly large house and judging by the windows it was probably the bathroom.

Only Akane could have such dumb luck.


Setsuna was nearly blasted off her feet as the bathroom wall caved in from a sudden impact by a speeding martial artist. On instinct she transformed into her senshi uniform preparing an attack.

End Flashback:

That woman still sent shivers up Ranma's spine when he thought about her. She addressed him in a perfectly neutral voice asking who the hell he was and why he was in her bathroom. Ranma declined to answer, rather opting for the Saotome final technique.

In later meetings she had somehow deemed him a threat to something called 'Sapphire Tokyo' or something like that and had constantly tried to kill him whenever he was malleted around Juban.

By the far the weirdest one however…


"Mihoshi! Something has appeared on the radar!" Kiyone shouted.

"Hmm? What is it?"

"It's a projectile of some sort! Hurry, we have to move out of the way!"

However the object came in too fast for them to dodge and tore through their shields and the titanium hold of their ship landing right on the bridge.

"Its… a boy?"

End Flashback

Fortunately they didn't make him get out and walk back. He had been able to hitch a ride back to the Tendo Dojo in time for dinner. However, later that evening…


Ranma was once again on a trip to god knows where. He was currently passing over a forest.

Looks like a clean landing.

That thought died a slow and painful death as he saw a shrine out in the middle of the woods. Bracing himself for impact Ranma smashed into the house like a bullet. He instantly got up and dusted himself off.

Looking around he found he was in some type of lab with all manner of advanced technology.

After a few moments of staring Ranma felt another pair of eyes on the back of his head and turned to find himself being stared at by a small red headed girl.

The girl broke the silence first, "This lab is in a sub-dimensional pocket surrounded by the most potent security systems known to the universe trained to attack any un-authorized persons within this lab. How the hell did you get in here?"

End Flashback

THAT woman sent him into a full body shiver. After the introductions were finished she started mumbling something about a guinea pig. Ranma quickly made his escape, feeling that he had just avoided certain doom.

Of course there were several other cases like the time she had hit him to that Hinata Inn or something like that. He never wanted to go there again.

In truth, he was starting to get really annoyed with Nerima and all of the BS that came along with it. Heck, the events earlier today proved it, his life was like a script, his destiny written out, he even had his life down to the second for christ sake.

He thought about his fiancées. Ukyo was a generally good person but she was always pressing for a more personal relationship and refusing to believe that Ranma wanted to just remain friends.

Shampoo was… Shampoo. Always up to some drug or potion, always latching on to him like a barnacle and always calling him Airen. Any affection he may have had for the girl had died when she started using underhanded tricks to try and win Ranma over.

Akane, Ranma hated to admit, was the worst of the three. Constantly abusive and constantly mistrusting and a trigger happy temper. Shampoo and Ukyo would at least sometimes give Ranma the benefit of the doubt of a compromising situation… sometimes. Akane just fell back on her old method of handling a situation, blame everything on Ranma and mallet him when he tried to put up a good aruguement.

Kodachi? Lets not go there…

Maybe I need a change of scenery. He mused, I probably cant go anywhere Nabiki cant track me to so the only answer is…

Ranma unconsciously took a left towards a magic shop he visited occasionally when he was still searching for a cure to his curse. He had long since given up on finding anything in this shop but he still visited occasionally.

Giving a small wave to the owner he started to browse the unique magic section. His eyes lingered on a small dusty scroll with a label that read 'Unclassified and Possibly Dangerous.'

Picking it up Ranma took it to the front of the shop. He had taken several of these types of scrolls from the shop, usually identifying what they were with help from Kuh-Lon. One scroll contained a one-use holy bolt that destroyed a rouge demon that Happosai had released while another had teleported Ranma straight into the girls side of the public bathhouse.

"Just this today?" asked the manager.

"That's all Tom." Ranma replied to the wizened old man.

As Ranma was digging in his pockets the front of the store suddenly exploded in a shower of glass and wood.

"There is the threat to crystal Tokyo! Get him!"

"Looks like the outers showed up. Sorry Tom, I promise to pay you back!"

Ranma grabbed the scroll and cracked the seal and with a bright flash of light… he was gone.

A/N: My longest prologue to date, and a cliffhanger to boot. This is still going to be a Disgaea crossover, the other mentions in this story are probably going to stay as one-shots.

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