A/N: Let's face it, Digimon is a dying fandom. This is one of my last attempts to scrounge up interest. If you're going to read, at least review and say something. Come on people, it's only two clicks of a mouse button (or touch-pad, depending). But yes, this is a true blue Taito, written in attempt to overshadow the overwhelming number of TERRIBLE Taitos on this site. Yeah, I said it. Enjoy my lovelies!

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I also don't claim rights to any music I reference.

Warnings: Eventual slash, meaning shounen-ai, meaning yaoi, meaning male/male love, meaning GET OUT if you don't like it or don't condone it. As far as I'm concerned, if you're reading this you have some interest in yaoi, so no bitching. This chapter only has profanity in it… nothing dirty… yet.

Grey Matter

Chapter 1: Bad Moods and Party Blues

By: CrimsonAnjel

I grabbed Matt's wrist as he turned, seeing for the millionth time in my life that angry look upon his porcelain features. His ignorance was only fueling my bad mood and I was going to let him know it. I could feel myself getting irritable and uncomfortably mad. Matt thinks too much for a boy and never just… feels, instead. It's annoying, especially when I'm trying to get his attention in a crowd of people and all he wants to do is get lost in thought.

Even in grade school he would never feel through a situation without thinking logically first. For example, he would never ever jump into a swimming pool without testing the water first with a dainty, outstretched toe regardless of what I told him. Or when my mom baked us cookies, he always had to nibble it first and make sure it wasn't going to poison him to death. And my mom's cookies weren't even that bad! (No pun intended). But that's him—that's Yama; that's just his personality. So, every once in awhile, I have to nudge him in the right direction or at the very least shove a new experience down his throat so he gets the picture and starts living life on the edge, if only a little.

I was at the end of my rope after one hell of a day and his airy, disconnected personality was pissing me off as it always did. My ridiculously large well of patience was running dry and the little bastard was about to hear the worst of it. With a vice-like grip and a tug I wrenched his wrist around, bringing the rest of his body with it.

"The fuck are you doing, Taichi?" he screamed with a leveling glare.

"Didn't you fucking hear me talk to you just now?"

"No shit I heard you! Who couldn't hear you talk, Taichi?" he spat vehemently. "What, it's not like you're the only person who's had a bad day. Now let me go," he hissed.

"Look, I was just trying to ask you a simple question, drama queen! You just had to go and make it all about you--"

"Drama queen?" he cut in ferociously. "Oh come on and drop the nicknames and call me a fag already! Join the crowd, call me fag and then ignore me, go for it!" His blue eyes glazed over with fleeting anger and then dulled again. I shook my head in disbelief. What the hell made him say a thing like that?

"What was that! I'm trying to yell at you for being airy and you bring up that? We always call each other names Yama, 's not like it means anything!" He still looked cross, so I added, "I would never call you that!" emphatically. Maybe his day had been worse than mine? I wasn't getting him at all today and it was eating at me. "No seriously, why did you just say that? Tell me."

He looked at me for a long moment and then took a step backwards. "Whatever." He wrenched his wrist away from me and quickly ducked into the frenzy of after school kids. Without a chance to blink I followed him and caught up shortly as he rounded a corner bordering the stairwell.

"Matt! Yama!" I yelled as I reached his side apologetically. He tried to ignore me so I pulled him around for the second time today. "What's the deal, bro?" He laughed dryly and licked his lips, turning away from me.

"Look, duh, I had a bad day. Big fucking whoop. Now do me a favor and—I dunno, find Sora or something. I kind of have to get TK and go home, alright?" I nodded solemnly and followed him down the steps as he continued walking, trying all the while to keep the conversation alive.

"But wait, it's Thursday!" I added, finally coming up with at least a minor excuse to keep him company. "Don't we always hang out on Thursdays?"

"Homework," was the laconic reply.

"Uh huh. You always get your homework done in class, Yama, you're a fucking genius remember?" The slight ego-stroke did nothing and he continued to step, taking a long while to answer.

"Project," was the second laconic reply as he whisked down the last set of stairs. Shaking my head moodily I threw a feeble goodbye at him with a slight shove, letting him go ahead. I stayed at the entrance and watched him make his way to the buses. It was raining outside and he still walked at a normal pace... TK was nowhere in sight.


"TAICHI YAGAMI YOU IDIOT! It's burning and smoking everywhere!"

"I know, Kari! Fuck!" The bread my sister and I were supposed to bake for the Bike Trip goodies sale didn't seem very happy to be baking in the Yagami kitchen. In other words, I am the worst cook alive. Kari wasn't being much of a help either, as she didn't exactly fit the housewife mold.

In a panic I slapped on a pair of embarrassing, flower covered oven mitts and grabbed the bread from the blackened oven, all the while trying not to choke on the black smoke hitting me in the face.

"You said it would take an hour to cook!" Kari yelled. "You said "Oh Kari, we can go watch TV!" You said "Don't worry, it'll all be totally fine!" and even added one of your stupid little grins at the end!" She went on after that and even added a few smacks to my head for good measure. Unfortunately, one of the smacks knocked the tray up, causing it to burn my forearm painfully.

"KARI! FUCK!" The tray and all of its charcoal brown contents dropped to the floor and clattered around with pieces of hard bread ricocheting off the wood and tile alike. She looked wide-eyed and guilty and readily preoccupied herself with grabbing the cooking directions from the counter. As I bolted to the kitchen sink and ran cold water over the wound she began to read them out loud in hopes of distracting me.

"Cook for one hour. Hey, you got that one right, genius." I smiled darkly at her from my hunched over position at the sink. "Though," she added, "there's only one little tiny insy wincy problem." She shoved the box in front of my eyes menacingly. "Yeah, notice how it says "1 hour for two loafs"? Good going bro!" I looked at the box, then at the mess and then back to Kari; then back at the box and mess and finally at the running water. I couldn't help myself and I burst out laughing, promptly slipped on a greasy piece of bread by my foot. This caused me to fall back onto the still-hot tray, burning my back—which in some sick way only fueled my insane laughter. Soon Kari joined in, clutching her sides and holding on to the counter tightly, whispering random insults at me in between breaths and chocking violently on the smoke pervading the air.

After a few minutes of happy laughter she smiled at me and started picking the crumbling pieces off floor. "You know… Mom's totally going to kill us for this." She reached over and turned off the oven.

"Well, duh. I'm hopeful though… We might get 100 years with parole if we're lucky, right?" She nodded cheerfully just as the phone rang from the table to my right. I pulled myself from the floor with a labored grunt and grabbed the receiver.



"Hiya." I knew who was on the other line immediately. As I expected, the line remained dead for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and started the conversation.

"Um, sorry about yelling at you today and all. I was… mad."

"Don't sweat it. Anything else?" I had already let it go. No big deal. He knew it too as he drew in a short breath.

"Rude much?"

"Always. So… tell me the answers to the math homework and we'll call it even?" He laughed at that.

"You wish, dumbass. Nah… I actually have one thing to ask you—scary, right?" I replied in the affirmative. He continued, "Are you going to Sora's party on Friday?"

"Yeah, 'course I am. Me plus people plus substances equals fun. It's my favorite equation!"

"Ok…" He obviously wanted me to add more but after a few moments he instead asked a question. "…Does she even like me? I mean, I'd go or whatever if you were there but I'm not really in with her crowd or whatever."

"Yeah, I get that. So, you wanna ask her out or something?" Kari laughed at that from the floor. She either found what I said humorous or was just thinking of new ways to call me stupid without actually opening her mouth. "Got something to say?" I asked her rhetorically. She nodded.

"Stop teasing that poor boy and tell him he should go, asshole!" I shook my head for the thousandth time that day before putting the receiver back to my ear.

"Kari says you should go. Don't worry about who's gonna be there. I'm there; you know me; it's all good."

"Right…" We exchanged a few more formalities before hanging up. I put the cordless on the hook and turned to face a frowning Kari, who's mood had obviously gotten more serious.

"Tai…" She looked apprehensively at me. "Don't let him get hurt. He's your friend."

"Duh, Kari." I walked out of the kitchen promptly, hearing something like "boys…" in the background as I found the TV and flipped it on lazily. "Girls…"


I had nothing to look forward to for weeks after the phone conversation. Classes were dull and Matt was unusually quiet and unresponsive. Probably another one of his dry spells of emotion; they usually started popping up around fall. Luckily, Sora's party got closer and closer with each day, which helped me through the school formalities and the fact that my best friend was becoming like a wall to talk to. If any, this party would be a chance to talk to my other friends who'd reply with more than one word.


I pulled my hoodie tighter around my shivering body and zipped away the cologne I wore underneath. I was shivering anyways, partially from the cold and partially from excitement. The party was going to be amazing, despite something seeming off. I couldn't put my finger on it but I still felt weird about taking Matt. Either that or his mood was starting to get to me.

Regardless of the feeling I walked with a happy step down 2nd street, Matt following in tow (literally, the slow bastard) at a sort of fumbling pace. The slow walk was causing me to miss valuable party time so Matt could fix his hair every few seconds. He disguised it well under the guise of scratching his head, but his fussing and fixing and complaining was already grating on my nerves. I wanted to scream, "It's October! Of course your hair is going to be messed up!" but then we'd just argue and get in a bad mood and have a bad night and blah blah blah. So I kept my mouth shut and it proved to work, as Sora's house appeared only three houses up the street.

It looked like your average house, with a large porch and a few flowers scattered in the lamely kept garden. It was nothing special expect for the fact that at least 100 people were crammed together in the space along with a party buzz—and decorative porch lights—making them glow happily.

I pulled him past the first wave of people enjoying a smoke out in the cold and in through the front door. "Tai! You made it, I'm so glad!" Immediately, the shrill voice of Sora hit my ears as she greeted me at the door with a running hug. As she straddled my wasted, obviously tipsy, I thought of Matt and made it a short hug. She looked over hazily and noticed Matt. "Hey Matt! Glad you could make it!" She added one of her cheesy smiles to the greeting and turned back to me with an even bigger beam.

"Hey Sora," I began easily. "What's up?" Her grin lit up enough to energize a small country and she squeezed me again.

"Oh, not much. Ready to have a good time… And you?"

"Hell yeah! I've been so bored!" I heard a small scoff from behind me. Shit, now the drama queen thought I meant he is boring. If things continued this way Matt could be out the door before I even make it five feet.

I turned to him. "Come on man, let's have some fun tonight, ok?" He smiled sarcastically and made an impression of Sora.

"Like oh my god! Sure!" I frowned and he grinned. "You don't have to baby me, Tai. It's not like I've never been drunk before or anything." Sora beamed at Matt almost genuinely.

"That's the spirit! Have fun boys!" With another smile she skipped off to greet another guy who had just stepped in. Talk about your obvious cocktease…

I exchanged a few hellos with some kids I knew before stepping fully into the house. I couldn't help but feel worried about Matt still, and he was already walking towards the alcohol. If the wrong people like a few of Sora's more colorful friends (or their friends, or friends of theirs and so on) knew Matt was here… things could go very wrong. It wasn't confirmed publicly, but Matt was already getting shit just for being an alleged gay. Two ingredients to never mix are drunken bigots and people to pick on. I'm going to keep a close eye on him.


It's 11 o' clock and I haven't had much to drink. I've never been into hard liquor and on top of that Matt was worrying me too much to get fully drunk. If I'm going to keep an eye on him I can't drink… duh. I talked lightly with one of my other girl friends, Mimi, keeping Matt on my radar. But as Mimi began rattling off her favorite new fall fashion styles my eye lost Matt in the crowd of people. He was just standing next to the snacks table—avoiding me probably—only a split second ago and even in my slightly numbed state my instincts told me something was up. With an short excuse thrown over my shoulder I deserted Mimi and shoved through the crowd in hasty search of Matt.

Suck My Kiss was blaring from speakers situated right alongside the snack table, taking over any other noise close to me. There was a bathroom in the corner right next to the alcohol and the door was closed with a light showing from the crack underneath. I ran up to it in a short panic and slammed violently, screaming "Who's in there?" a few times. I had no idea why I was screaming at a total stranger but something told me to panic… something wasn't right, I could feel it. But I couldn't hear anything on the other side of the door because of the music. Anthony Kiedis was blocking out any type of response so I began pounding harder; the alcohol started to pump in me faster along with a worried adrenaline rush. Luckily it didn't take much time for the song to draw to a close. With a final "that mouth was made to suck my kiss!" it cut out, leaving a split second of silence for the CD to skip to the next song and for me to listen hard for a reply.

"—Tai!" I heard someone scream from inside the door before the CD cut to the next track. I panicked--it has to be Matt! The next song started loudly--Metal music was NOT what I wanted to hear at the moment, for fucks sake.

Not caring at all about Sora's door I took a few steps back, tumbling hazily into few raving kids. With the power cords and bullet-like drums of Trivium dancing in my chest I ran full speed at the door. With one powerful kick it smashed open, revealing my worst nightmare in one disturbing moment. As soon as my eyes caught hold of the scene I lurched and promptly hacked up beer into my throat.


I usually write original fiction nowadays. If you want me to continue this then please review. "Suck My Kiss" is by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, my all-time favorite band. Trivium is a great metal band. If you want to hear the song of there's I used for this chapter download, Pull Harder On The Strings Of Your Martyr. Thanks.