A/N: Here's another chapter for you! This is about how long each new chapter will take to be written and posted for the time being, so get used to it. I will definitely finish this fic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

Warnings: Lots of profanity. I'm not going to even mention the word 'gay' because if you've read this far, you're obviously not offended by boyslove. There's a little kissing (between two boys! No way!) Geez… since when do I write hetero romance? (never)

Grey Matter

Chapter 3: What I Cannot Control

By: CrimsonAnjel

The wind began biting deeper into my face, meaning it was almost night time. After Matt walked inside I continued to sit--despite my better nature--wondering if he'd notice me still outside his house and invite me in. Of course, there was a fat chance of that happening, but it was a lame enough excuse to keep me glued to the ground.

Checking my watch wearily, I read 6:30 on the digital screen with a small sigh. Mom would definitely be freaking out by now. 'I'm sure she knows that I'm okay but she usually expects a call from me by now proclaiming with at least a "me and Matt are having so much fun! Can I please stay!". Unfortunately Matt has a cell phone and I don't. So I have a few minutes to either miraculously patch up a hurt friendship or walk home.' For the first time since he closed the door, I heard footsteps inside coming my way. The door flew open, bumping into my side painfully.

"Tai?" TK poked his head out of door, bewildered. "Hey, man! I thought I saw a tuff of hair from the window, why don't you come inside?"

"Ask your brother," I deadpanned. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow… that slowly molded into a frown.

"Oh. That bastard…. Come on in and I'll go see what's up. 'Sides, you look freezing." I nodded and jumped up.

"So, what's with your good mood? Seems like Dais is rubbing off on you," I commented lightly as he shut the door. He turned and grinned devilishly, obviously about to see the loud-mouthed brunette boy.

"You could say that…" he responded coyly. "We're going out tonight though, so I can't really help, y'know… being happy."

"First of all, that was disgusting. What are you, 12? Jesus, making sex jokes already..."

"I'm 15!" he huffed.

"You'll always be like 6 to me, get over it. Maybe I'll bump you up to 15 when he gets in your pants, bucko." With that I grabbed him in a headlock and we but erupted into fits of giggles. He was about to tell me more information than I'd ever need to know, but a third voice disrupted our fun.

"Why is he in here?" Matt asked TK directly. My eyes caught his and all the good energy basically went down the tube.

"I'm in the room, Yama. You can address me if you're gonna talk about me, you know." I let go of TK, who backed away a few feet to let me have the conversation on my own.

"Yes. You are in the room. Is that my fault?" He glanced at TK with a glare. TK returned the glare and exited the foyer mumbling about good moods and killjoys. I watched him leave and then return my gaze to Matt, tapping the white carpet with my training shoes.

"Whether he let me in or not, I'm here, Matt. Even if you won't talk to me, I have to use your phone anyways to call mom. Not everyone can fall into a mood and shut out the world; a few of us still have to deal with things instead of, well, ignoring them." I brushed past him easily, feeling a scowl hit my neck as I made my way to the kitchen to retrieve the cordless. He didn't shoot anything back luckily and by the time I finished calling my mom, who was predictably fine with me being at Matt's, he still stood against the wall, sending endless hate my way. Mom wasn't the only predictable one.

I walked by him up the stairs. "Want an Oscar?" I shot. He followed me and entered his own room just as was getting comfortable in the swiveling computer chair.

"What the fuck are you still doing in my house?" he sent bluntly.

"Su casa es me casa?" I replied lamely.

"No. It's not. Go home." I rolled my eyes and span around a few times.

"Fine, but only if you can come up with a phrase that's better than 'Go home' to tell me off."

"Ok, Tai. How about bastard, fucker, asshole? Eat shit and die in a hole you stupid little…. God damnit, just leave already, ok! Why do you always have to make it such a big fucking deal?" I balanced back in the chair and began signing on AIM as he finished.

"Do I? I thought that's your job—Sweet! Mimi's on! I've been meaning to ask her about the math homework…. something about page 128." Matt growled and advanced on me like a tank in World War 2.

'Here comes the missle launch… ready and…!'

"TAI! Get the fuck out of my house! NOW!"

"Aw, come on, Yama! I have to get the math homework from Mimi! You know my internet blows!" He slammed his hand on the desk. 'Close enough to a missile…'

"What the fuck do I have to tell you so you'll leave! Fuck you? I never want to see you again? Tell me!"

"Geez, bro. I can smell your deodorant working over time there. Just let it go for a moment so I can talk to Mimi and then I'll be on my merry way." TK appeared at the door for a moment, tossing a clean shirt at Matt.

"Found this in my laundry." Soon after, we heard his door close and happy rock music began pouring through the walls.

"See? Now that's a happy fag! You need to take some lessons from your younger brother."

"What the hell--? He's a 15 year old brat. And you don't know the first fucking thing about being a 'happy fag'!"

"Nah, I guess I don't… but if you look up the word 'brat' in a dictionary you'd be more likely to see your face than his, Smiles the Depressing Clown Boy."

"You're retarded—wait, didn't I tell you to fucking leave! Why am I still talking to you—go!" He reached around and unplugged the computer manually, just as I was sending a message to Mimi. I finished the message and pressed enter, pretending he didn't just turn off the computer in the middle of my conversation. I grinned and kept typing out horrible things and pressing enter, all the while feeling a certain blonde's cold gaze on me.

"I'm sorry, were you saying something?" He ran his hands through his hair and resigned to slamming his whole body onto his mattress in frustration.

"I hate you, Taichi," he said to the ceiling.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, reaching for the T-shirt TK had throw at him which was actually mine. "I'm taking this back. Later." I stood up and slammed his door unnecessarily while yelling a goodbye at TK. Then, I walked the mile home in silence, having already forgot the page number for the math homework.

Kari was sipping tea in the kitchen when I got home.

"Hey. Wanna try this new tea mom bought?" I sniffled and nodded, throwing my house keys on the table. "It's called Sweet n' Spicy-something or other. Whatever, it's good." I took a sip of the proffered cup, shivering slightly.

"Yeah, it is," I agreed and handed her the cup. She cocked her head as she took it, which only ever led to one thing.

"Where have you been? You look like shit."

'Interrogation.' I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair.

"Thanks, sis… just what I needed. No, I've been at Matt's."

"It shows." She grabbed me another cup and steeped a bag of the warm tea. "What horrible thing did you do this time to set off his emotional switch?" I shrugged.

"Actually, this time I did do something horrible… I mean, I think it was horrible? But you're right, he's over reacting, as usual."

"Well?" she prompted.

"Well, don't worry about it. I'll keep this one to myself if you don't mind." She nodded and took a sip of her tea.

"Mom's in the living room watching her show," she offered as she handed me my cup. I thanked her and entered the living room. The show she was referring to was American Idol. Our mom watched it like a religion—I think she has a crush on Simon Cowell.

I passed by her zombie form as some pretty blonde sang her heart out on the TV screen. I sighed… it reminded me of Matt. I kick my door open and slammed it shut, balancing the cup of tea with both hands. My away message online had a couple of messages from Mimi that I ignored, opening my music folder instead. I chose one of my favorite songs first: Soma by Smashing Pumpkins. As the music played I sipped my tea and thought about how Matt showed me this band, exclaiming how this was his favorite song, which is an impossible word for him to use seriously.

As the solo hit, Kari knocked on my door lightly—almost timidly—knowing I hate to be disturbed in the middle of a song… especially a solo. "What do you want, Kar?" I asked boredly.

"Sorry, Tai… TK is on the phone. It's urgent." I blinked.

'TK? Urgent…?' As fast as possible, I clicked the pause button and tore open the door.

"Urgent, what's urgent?"

"Here." I grabbed the phone and thanked Kari as I shut the door in her face. Her expression seemed pained in the short moment I saw it. I was getting worried…

"TK? What's up, what's the matter?" I began frantically. "Is everything ok?" I heard sobbing on the other end…. TK never sobs. "TK? Takeru? Answer me, buddy! What's wrong?" He didn't answer yet; he seemed to be having trouble speaking over his own sobs... "Please, just calm down and talk to me! It's ok, bro. Just take a breath and tell me what's going on. I'm here for you."

"I--…" he began sobbing uncontrollably again.

"TK… I don't understand." He choked hard and held back his sobs long enough to spurt out a sentence.

"T-Tai! It's… Dais. Daisuke." I could hear him shaking and choking on his sobs.

'Daisuke…? What about Daisuke?'

"TK, please slow down… It's ok, bro. Just slow down and tell me what happened," I encouraged him softly. He bit back another wave of sobs and spoke hoarsely.

"He…--he's in the hospital." My breath hitched.

'What did he mean by that? Daisuke, my little brother… in the hospital?' I took a deep breath and asked the obvious question. "Why… is he in the hospital?" This triggered more sobs that were so unalike TK.

"Because he's gay, Tai," he said darkly. "He's in the hospital because he's a fag like me and we're together and--" he broke out in sobs and then hitched, "--and the world hates us, Tai. The world just fucking hates us and he's in the hospital…"

"What happened, TK… Tell me how this happened?" I knew there were a million other questions to ask too, but I had to know. I wanted to jump up and find Kari and my mom or something. 'Do they already know? They must know… Kari has to know.'

"He… got jumped," TK began between sobs, focusing my attention back on the conversation. " He was attacked—oh god, Tai! He was just fucking attacked… with fucking bats. I don't even know--" he began sobbing harder and dropped the phone. I was beginning to really freak out.

"TK! TK! Answer me! Which hospital is he at?" Instead, another pair of hands picked up the phone.

"He's at the General Hospital on the east side. We're picking you up right now." I couldn't help but frown at how short Matt spoke with me, but I almost appreciated it at the moment.

"Thank you." I hung up and grabbed my shoes and coat, dashing to the living. Mom and Kari were already at the door with their coats on. As soon as she saw me, mom grabbed me into a hug and began crying. Kari leaned against the door and began sobbing as well, covering her face in her hand. I looked on; I didn't get it yet. Nothing was registering fast enough so I just held my mom and listened quietly.

'My brother… in the hospital. The happiest, brightest person I know is… I don't get it. My throat hurts a lot… I don't get it… but I can't cry yet. I don't even know how to start. I have to see him first before I can cry, right? I have to be the strong one until we make it to him; until we know he's ok.'

A car beeped outside. Kari swung open the door and we piled into the car--our car was at the shop so the Ishida's were giving us a ride… which surprised me, considering their "busy schedule" and all. No one said hello when we got in. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement of silence as everyone worked the situation out in their heads; I could almost hear them thinking. Everyone, except TK. Matt held him in the back seat while he cried just as hard as he had on the phone.

'This is so random…One moment, I'm in my room, depressed over my own stupid shit and listening to sad music, and the next I'm in a car with everyone I love going to see my brother who might be... fighting for his life? What the hell? Over what, why's this happening!' A few tears began to attack my eyes, prickling at the edge of rolling onto my cheeks as some of the weight of the situation finally hit me. I punched myself in the head and strained my muscles as hard as I could to get the tears to go away; I wiped them fiercely against my gloves and held my head between my legs until I felt the car stop. I was in so much pain.

The lady at the front desk seemed indifferent as we ran inside. All she probably saw every day was death and decay; of course she wouldn't care about my little brother. But I still couldn't help hating her as she passed my mom a form to fill out.

"Get we just skip the fucking form and see Dais!" I yelled out of frustration.

"Tai!" my mom admonished me. "I know this is hard, but we'll see him as soon as we can…"I saw her face—stained, red and puffy—and thought better of arguing. Instead, I tapped my foot against the white-tiled floor and glared at the ugly blonde woman until she let us pass. We all ran ahead to the assigned room… 259 A.

I lead the pack as we reached the second floor and I was the first to burst into his room at the end of the hall.

Finally, I saw him. The dull, continuous beep of his heart monitor, the IV stuck in his arm and the tube attached to his nose, helping him breathe.

The rest of his body was…

"Oh god, Daisuke! My baby!" One by one everyone--Me, Kari, Mrs. Ishida, Matt and TK--stood in the doorway as mom ran to Daisuke's side. His face was covered in bruises as well as a few cuts. His arm was in a cast and sling and his right leg was raised in the air, also in a cast. He was sleeping when I rushed in but slowly opened his eyes as everyone else piled into the cramped space.

TK pushed past all of us—I was still standing, bewildered as he shoved past me—and fell against Dais on the bed.


"…TK! Ow!" TK jumped back up and wiped his nose, laughing strangley.

"Oops! Sorry…" Dais managed a small grin and shook his head.

"Nah, it's ok…. Come here, beautiful." TK bent down, grinning and Dais kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Glad you guys could make it. I should ask Mary for some extra chairs." I assumed the women who entered immediately after he said that was Mary. Everyone stayed silent and mom grasped his hand as the nurse tended to a few things in the room.

"Did you need somethin', hun?" she asked. I answered for Dais.

"Could we get a few chairs in here, please? I think we're all like staying for while." She nodded dutifully and left the room. Kari broke down and ran to his side as well, sobbing and telling him incoherently how worried she was. I still hadn't done much, but the weight on my body lifted when I saw he was going to be ok. In fact, I couldn't help but jump ahead and asked a question no one else would probably think of at a time like this.

"Dais…. Who did this to you?" I asked from my position against the wall. He frowned and looked to the side.

"Doesn't matter…" Everyone else glared at me for asking something so insensitive, but I persisted for some reason.

"No, really, bro. People can't just do something like this to you and not get payback!"

"Tai! How could you even begin to say something like that right now? Why don't you leave the teenage drama out of it and just be happy he's alive!" I sighed and nodded at my mom's request. Bending down, I gave him a soft hug and told him I was worried and glad that he was okay. Matt followed suit and then stood by TK, squeezing his shoulder once or twice when he'd sniffle. Mrs. Ishida just stood stoically near the entrance of the hospital room, looking bored and annoyed. Mom eventually acknowledged her.

"Thank you for the ride, Diane. I think we can call a cab back home." Mrs. Ishida nodded curtly.

"Matt. Takeru. Let's go home." Both TK and Matt looked taken aback and Matt replied defensively.

"Do you really expect us to go home right now? We'll go when they go. You know how much this means to TK, mother…"

"I don't really care how much this… boy means to Takeru. I was nice enough to drive you all the way here to see him, now let's go home," she snapped, punctuating the last few words of the sentence with certain finality. I could tell that mom wanted to tell her off, but she kept her mouth shut and fussed over Daisuke's blanket instead.

Matt, however, wasn't about to let it go. "What do you mean 'this boy', mom! How can you even think of something so fucking petty when this boy nearly died because of people like you?"

"Don't you take that tone with me, Yamato Ishida. I am only trying to take you home, and maybe save you from making the same mistakes! How dare you say that about me."

"Mother, everyone here knows you're as much a bigot as the next person. I'm sure that if I hadn't yelled at you to drive us over you would've sat on your ass and watched FOX news with a glass of expensive wine. I don't really care about your "morals" right now, but me and TK are staying here, with people who are kind and actually considerate. " I caught Mrs. Ishida's eyes flashing angrily and a quick blush creep on her face before she huffed and turned heel to leave.

"Fine. But as of now I am taking away your privileges so you'll learn some respect. Amy."

"Diane." And then she was gone.

Dais spoke, "Matt… you didn't have to do that. Now you'll just get into a lot of trouble over nothing."

"It doesn't matter, Dai. She needed to hear it anyways, the bitch." Everyone, including mom, chuckled. "Besides, it is worth it, kid," Matt finished with a winked that made Dais blush and grin. He wasn't always heartless…

"Hey! He's my boyfriend, asshole! Don't start that charming crap on him!" TK broke in empathically. I laughed at that.

"Charming? Yama? You must be joking!"

"Hey, I am too charming!" Matt cried as he punched me in the shoulder. "Asshole."

"Oh, so you're talking to me now, are you?" He blushed.

"No. You're just being an asshole!" Dais frowned cut in.

"Why wouldn't he be talking to you?" We both stopped our mounting argument and looked down. Neither of us wanted to answer that question, so we waited out the few awkward moments until Kari spoke for us.

"Who knows, Dais… those bastards get mad at each other over the stupidest things, I swear they're like an old married couple..." We both blushed harder.

"HEY, WE'RE NOT MARRIED!" I yelled, missing the beat wonderfully.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we just focus on Dais again? Attention-stealer."

"Am not!" Matt punched me in the shoulder again, defending Kari.

"You really are." Mom ignored us and spoke to Dais directly.

"Honey, tell us what happened. I'm so glad you're ok but how did this happen? I mean, why, where, who…?" The room immediately got quiet as a bit of tension built. Daisuke looked at the window's reflection for a moment and then turned his brown eyes on TK, who smiled weakly.

"Does it really matter, mom? I mean, I'm ok now… everything's fine. Can't we just let it go?" Mom frowned.

"No, sweetie, we can't. I understand if you want to rest now but we need to know as soon as you can tell us. This is serious, Daisuke… you could've been killed!"

"No one was gonna kill me, ma. It was just some… assholes. It doesn't matter." TK looked pained as he said that but kept his mouth shut. Mom nodded and wiped her eyes in resignation with a little laugh.

"Ok, sweetie." She bent over and hugged him again. "I'm so happy to see you're ok… I don't know what I'd do if…. God, I'm so sorry about this. I feel like I've failed at protecting you or something."

"No, mom. You're wonderful. Really, I don't think anyone could've protected me from those bigots and we both knew this was gonna happen sooner or later. I'm just glad it was me instead of TK."

"Don't say that, Dais!" TK cut in. "God, you don't know how badly I wish it was me! I can't even look at you without--" His eyes welled up at the sudden emotion amd he leaned into Matt. Now I was getting confused.

'Why is TK crying whenever the events of the fight come up? It feels weird… it's like he's hiding something.'

"TK… come here." TK sniffled and nodded, kneeling next to his boyfriend, whose expression seemed pained again. "Please… it's not your fault. Don't you ever think that, ok?" With what little strength Dais had he managed to wrap his arm around TK's neck and bring him into another soft kiss. TK nodded as he kissed Dais on the lips and looked down, sniffling, as they broke apart.

"I know that, I'm so sorry Dai. I love you… I can't stand this." Kari gestured something to Matt and Matt touched TK's shoulder.

"Come on, bro… let's go outside and let Dais sit with Amy for a little while." TK nodded and slowly got up. I smiled at Daisuke once more and left with Kari, Matt, and TK. It was a good thing too, as the lovey dovey factor was starting to annoy me.

As soon as we got outside Mary showed up with a rack of chairs. "Sorry it took so long, guys. I got held up in another room. Do you want me to just leave them here?"

"Yes, that's fine. Thank you," Kari replied. Mary smiled and walked past us into Daisuke's room to tend to him. "God… this whole thing is ridiculous. Why did this even happen? I don't even understand why he got beaten up."

"That's what I want to know," Matt agreed. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course we want to know, Matt, but Dais is being as stubborn as ever. And I'm sure Stubborn Boy #2 won't tell us anything either, right?" All three of us turned our gazes on TK, who was staring off into space. He noticed eyes on him and shook his head to focus.


"Information, TK… Do you know anything about what happened?" I asked plainly. TK looked down the hall tiredly, following the movements of various doctors and nurses with his eyes.

With a sigh, he looked at all three of us and responded, "Actually… I do."


And what a nice little book mark that was! I will definitely continue this. Also, more reviews will help keep my interest alive, so don't be shy. I'm getting too old for this fanfiction crap anyways. I really don't have any inhibitions about asking for reviews and I won't lie: reviews alone are one of two reasons why I'm continuing this.

Thanks for reading! Until next time