Author: Paladin Steelbreaker
Title: Just Another Day In The Life Of Steve Rogers
Copyright: October 2005
Spoilers: A few, both for Buffy and Captain America
Keywords: Just another day.
Summary: A hero's life isn't easy, even on downtime.
Legalese: All characters except those noted below with their respective rights, properties and copyrights are the property of their respective creators, authors, owners, producers and agencies. These characters are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended or meant, and no money will be made from this story. This story may be copied in its entirety, and may be distributed as long as all copyright information remains.
If you want to comment on my story.(please, please, PLEASE!) Compliments, or fire spitting criticism, you are welcome to mail me at this address: pal-o-loonline.no
Just Another Day In The Life Of Steve Rogers
"What! Are you sitting there accusing me of passport fraud?"
Steve Rogers, a.k.a Captain America, barely kept himself from going postal right there and then. First he woke up to a major brawl between Wonder Man and Vision. It was a miracle the mansion didn't collapse completely. It was well passed time those two got over their issues with each other. And while they worked on them, Wanda should have the sense God gave her, and stay out of it. But noooo! It ended with Steve, Thor and Justice having to tear those three off each others before there was a triple murder in the house.
Then they had to take a trip into the Peruvian Jungle, to help Silver Claw who was in trouble with none less than Jaggernaut. And of cause at the Peruvian Airport he was informed that his passport was invalid! Out of date! GRRRRR!
Then after getting smashed around by that insane psycho, until Thor had it, and went totally Ragnarok on the bloody idiot, they rescued Jarvis's not so little girl and everything was okay again, that was, until the mansion almost were destroyed again, this time by that insane wall crawler Spiderman, who duked it out with Sandman in a fight over Mary Jane. It turned out Sandman had been stupid enough to make moves on Peters wife, and when she rejected him, had attempted to beat her up. Steve had to admit he was impressed by the young superhero. He might look slim limbed and fragile, but he sure packed a punch. And as he had a brilliant mind too, it really wasn't much of a fight. It was downright slaughter. Sandman ended up unconscious on the border of being comatose, after being doused by some chemical who made him incapable of shifting fully into his sand state, thereby becoming vulnerable to physical violence.
All this, and the clock wasn't even 14.00pm. And then he was contacted by their lawyer who again informed him that he had to renew his passport. So here he was, in New York Police department, as he had been for the last three hours. He had been shifted from person to person, until he was getting nauseous. And now this young upstart had the gall to accuse him, the country's highest awarded citizen, of having forged his passport! It should be enough to drive even Banner to tears.
"I am Steve Rogers!"
"I am sorry Sir, but I don't believe you. Steve Rogers was born in 1917, and you don't look like you are a day over 30! Do you think I am stupid! The real Steve Rogers, if he exists would now be 88 years old."
"You God damn fool!" Steve finally lost it! The little toad was going to get it! "Don't you have any idea of who I am? I am Cap……."
"BEEEEP! WARNING! THERE IS A LEVEL 10 SUMMERS HURRICANE ON THE MOVE! STAY AT YOUR DESKS!" A humorous yet nervous voice could be heard over the intercom.
"Level 10? There is only…" Steve didn't get to finish, as the toad pushed him unceremoniously behind the desk. And not a moment too early.
Down the mid path came what qualified as the strangest sight he had seen this month. It was a nearly diminutive woman in the uniform of a Police captain. She looked ready to go Hulk Smash, as she with a tight grip on his foot pulled the unconscious form of none other than Green Goblin down the floor with astounding ease. This despite he after his last mutation, had to weigh at least 300 kilo.
She pulled the super villain down to the holding cell area, and with brutal force threw him into the wall of a empty cell, before she locked the door. She then shouted "Jenkins", to a greying man that with an amused shake of his head stopped to take her order. "Get in contact with Avengers or Spiderman and tell them to come pick up the Green Goblin. Bloody bastard decided to play in MY city. He destroyed half a block before I got to him. If you can't get hold of them, then call S.H.I.E.L.D. But let them know that Buffy Summers are calling the shots, and if Fury tries anything funny, he WILL learn the TRUE MEANING OF FURY!"
With that the small blonde went into the police chief office, and slammed the door after her so hard that it jumped off its hinges. There was a low muttering of curses in what Steve could swear was ancient Latin, before she with ease lifted the door and put it back on it's hinges before closing it carefully this time.
"Who, who the hell was that?" He stuttered, as he noticed the surprisingly casual look on the police men and women, as if this was a normal occurrence.
"Oh, that was the chief, Elisabeth Anne Summers. But don't call her that, or you will wish for a meeting with Surtur. She doesn't answer to anything but Buffy or Chief. Now, give me your real name and age, so I can write out the paperwork for passport fraud."
"I AM STEVE ROGERS!" Steve jumped up and was closer to a heart attack than he had ever been in his life. "ARE YOU BLOODY DAFT MAN?"
"What seems to be the problem here," it was the now calm voice of the small blonde, who had managed the impossible feat of opening the door and walk over the floor, without Steve with his extraordinary senses ever noticing.
With an effort Steve calmed enough to answer. "This, this nuisance of a man, is accusing me of passport fraud. I came her to renew it, and he has the unmitigated gall to insist that I cannot be Steven Rogers!" In the end his voice were rising again.
Suddenly Steve felt a nearly irresistible urge to step away from the short woman, as she now exuded such raw power and menace that it was as if she had undergone a total personality change in a split second, as she turned to the police man.
"I will repeat what the good man said, Robert. ARE. YOU. BLOODY. DAFT?" Her voice was nothing short of a growl. "This is Steve Rogers, a.k.a Captain America. He is the highest decorated citizen of USA ever! He was transformed into a Super soldier during World War II and he IS 88 years old. The serum made him almost immortal. But most important, you dimwit! He is a true hero! The NYPD is not in the business of making the lives of heroes worse than they already are. I have had it with you and your continuing fumbling. Go get his new passport ready for him, and then go back to your normal work. But if you do one more mistake like this, then you can look for a new job, AM I UNDERSTOOD!"
The poor guy jumped to his feet in a salute. "Yes Ma'am," he said and pale as a ghost in his face ran to do as he was told.
"Shit!" She shook her head. "I shouldn't have been so hard on the guy, but he really is the worst employee that has been through these doors as long as I have been chief. Please come with me Mr. Rogers," she said and walked into her office.
"Please take a seat," she showed him to a comfortable guest chair. Can I offer you something to drink; Tea, Coffee, Lemonade, Coca Cola? I am sorry I don't have anything stronger. I mean, I can't demand my employees not to drink alcohol during work hours, if I do it myself, right?"
"Indeed, Miss. Summers. Some Lemonade would be good, please."
She opened two bottles easily by flicking the cork off with her thumb, before she gave one to him with a mischievous grin.
"I apologise for any inconvenience you have been caused today. The passport should be ready in a few minutes."
"That is alright, ma'am. I have encountered my fair share of incompetent soldiers. No matter how good a leader one is, there is always someone that slips past the screenings.
I must admit I am curious, how did you defeat Green Goblin?"
She grinned again. "I just opened up a can of whupass." She then grew sombre. "From what I have been able to find out, I am the type of warrior that the army was trying to replicate when they created the serum they injected you with. It was made from the blood of one of my predecessors. What they created in you, I have naturally, and then some. If you want, I can arrange it so you get to see the full case file on the project that culminated in you becoming Captain America. We even possess the formula itself. It is too dangerous to let the military play around with so much power.
The result was fantastic with you, but if the subject had been an immoral person, instead of getting a super hero, there would be a super villain. I trust you will not give this information further. The military is as an organisation, a highly untrustworthy entity, when it comes to handling great power. More than once, I have had to clean up after one of their fiascos. Please say that I haven't done a big mistake by trusting this information to you? That you really are the straight shooting hero I have held you to be."
Suddenly he saw pain and fear in her eyes. He nodded. "I don't know about the hero part, but I understand, some things are best not mentioned to the military. May I ask something?"
She nodded. "Are you The Buffy Summers, The Slayer that briefly attended that shameful black Bag operation The Initiative? Are you the one that cleaned up after them?"
She nodded again. "Yes, that was me. What about it?" Her voice held a sharp edge to it.
Steve gave her a disarming smile and reached out his hand. "If you are her, then I would very much like to shake your hand. You did a good job there. Never have I seen Fury so pissed off, as when he found out what madness, Maggie Walsh had done, and that it was a civilian that with great risk to her life, had to clean up the situation. He was furious for a week over the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D didn't even know about the situation before it was over. If anyone here is a hero, it is you Ma'am."
She shook his hand, but blushed. "Thank you Mr. Rogers, that means a lot to me, coming from someone like you." The door opened, and relieved at the diversion, she steered over to another topic. "Well here is your new passport, Mr. Rogers." She looked it over. "Good job, "Robert, she said to the leaving policeman who hurried back to his work.
"Thank you Miss. And I might take you up on the offer to see those files. For now, I can take Green Goblin off your hands, and bring him back to S.H.I.E.L.D. Thanks again Miss Summers. But now I have to get back to the Avenger Mansion, before something happens. It seems to be one of those days today."
She gave him a knowing smile. "I know, sometimes it feels like there isn't a moments rest. Well, it's been nice talking to you. Anytime you want to look at those files, just call me," she said and gave him her card.
"Thank you Ma'am," he said, saluted her and walked out.
Buffy looked after him with an almost goofy grin on her face. Whoa, she had just spoken to Captain America! That was so WAY COOOL!
Steve was in a good mood as he drove back to the mansion. It was always nice to meet another one of the good people. There just weren't enough of them. His good mood lasted until he parked the car a little away from the mansion and walked the last bit. Already then he heard the unmistakeable sounds of another fight in the mansion. As he stopped outside the gate, he moaned in agony. Damn it! Wonderman and Vision was at it again!
"Please God, if you exist, please kill me now," he muttered, and banged his head against the metal bars. He jumped back as suddenly a scantily clad woman with some sort of spear appeared in a flash of light. The power that radiated from her was downright humbling.
"I am sorry Steve, HE can not grant you that wish. You are far too important for the world for that. But when you once in the future do die, rest assured that you have long since secured your place in HIS halls. Chiao!" And with a flash of light Angela, First Hunter was gone again.
With another moan, and a chuckle he banged his head once more. One could really tell that one led a strange life, when one was visited by the head of the Hunter Angels. What was it they called it nowadays? Oh, yes, weird it was.
With a last sigh, Steve walked through the gate, and went to prevent world war three, four, and five, from occurring at the mansion.