The thing about House is that whenever there's actual work to be done, anytime we're overloaded with patents, when people really need him, he's nowhere to be found, out someplace playing game boy or watching his soap, or annoying me, or Wilson, or Foreman, or Cameron, or all of us if possible. But when we don't have any patients, when the hospital is totally dead, he goes out of his way to look for cases. It's almost like the only time he wants to do any work is when somebody tells him he cant.
Today's one of the in-between days. There's stuff that needs to be done but he can push it off on the rest of us and pretend that he's working by spending the day avoiding clinic duty. There's nothing big going on right now, though, no mysteries. So, naturally he's bored. Plus it's getting close to the holidays and mostly we see; kids eating mistletoe, people falling from ladders, minor electrocutions, people going overboard with holiday food, holiday related depression, all that stuff.
Okay, so I got this ting for House for Christmas, but I'm still not sure if I want to give it to him. House always acts like he hates the holidays, and you cant really blame him, what with the massive increase in stupid patients with boring problems, but I think he'd want a gift. Then again, I don't know what he'd think of me if I just walked into his office carrying a big box wrapped up with red and green paper, and a bow, grinning like an idiot.
Would he tell everyone?
Does he care if people found out about us?
I mean it's not like we're doing anything wrong, but you know, people would talk, not that he cares about that. Knowing House he'd love it if people knew about us because then he'd be able to tell everyone when he thinks I've done something stupid. I don't know how long I was standing there, trying to make up my mind. I wasn't sure what to do, whether or not to go in, or stay out. I stood there too long. Way too long.
Suddenly Cameron was standing next to me, and she was smiling, a huge smile. She always smiles, except when she's bawling her eyes out. Chicks are way too much trouble, I suppose that part of me has always known that, but chicks like Cameron are the worst. Anyway, there I was standing in front of House's office with a big gift-wrapped present in my hands looking like a complete fool, and it wasn't even like I could just pretend it was for someone else.
I sure as Hell couldn't give it to her. This is for House. It's really fucking personal, and you know what—if anyone else saw it . . .man . . .it'd be all over the hospital. Even if she didn't mean to Cameron would tell someone, or someone would figure it out by talking to her. It didn't mater anyway. She's smart, really smart, and she knew what the fit was for House.
"So, are you going to go in there, or just stand in the hallway all afternoon?" She gave me that silly little smile of hers. I hate that smile.
"He won't like it," I told her. It is the truth, but it's also a copout, and she knows it.
"House doesn't like anything. But if you like him enough to get him a gift, then you should give it to him. He'd appreciate that."
"He'll use it against me forever. I mean knowing house, he'd probably plaster a picture of it all over the hospital."
"Well," she sighed, thinking it over for a minute. "Foreman and I could put our names on the card," she offered. The funny part is that she probably meant it. And if what's in the box wasn't—well I cant tell you that right now but anyway—the point is there's no way she or anyone else for that matter could put their name on the card.
It's not that kind of present. I guess I was blushing. I felt my cheeks, flush a little, but I get warm sometimes and I don't blush. Okay, I do blush, but not much. "Alright, I wasn't gonna ask, but now I gotta know."
"No, way!" I think I actually chocked on the words. I mean Hell, you would have. Anyone would have. She gave me a little 'come on,' shove but then realized I wasn't going to tell her, no mater what.
"You could always hide the box, and give him a big ol' bottle of Vicodin," she said jokingly.
"That was his birthday present," I explained rolling my eyes. She gave me this look and I realized she couldn't tell if I was joking or not. I smiled.
"Or not . . ." I guess I cant really blame House for messing with people the way he does. It was fun watching her try and not freak out like that.
"Anyway, I think he might actually like this. It's just that," I couldn't finish. It's stupid but she knew what I was going to say and she knows House. She nodded.
"Look, you can't go around spending all your time trying to make things perfect. It's House. And he's not going to change. Whatever happens it's going to happen even if you fight it. The best you can do is try and be happy with whatever life throws at you."
"That's bull and you know it. That's the kind of crap they say on after school specials and besides, I don't want things to be perfect," she cut me off.
"You just want him to love you," she said knowingly. Cameron thinks that people might actually forget the fact that she's in love with him. I remember when she managed to talk him into going out with her. It was before House and I were . . .together, but I liked him even then. I remember being jealous even though I felt stupid about it.
"If he's capable." As soon I said it I wanted to take it back. It's not fair to say something like that. House's pretty damaged, and he would never admit it but he's scared to open himself up to anyone. I see the way he looks at Stacy when they pass in the hall. It's probably the way I look whenever I see him.
"Go in there. Give him the fit. What's the worst that could happen?" She's so fucking optimistic. Sometimes, it drives me crazy.
"Yeah, that's easy for you to say. You don't know what's in the box." The truth is, I could have gotten him a fucking teddy bear but just the thought of giving him a gift scares me to death. I wasn't sure how seriously House takes our—relationship—but I want things to be serious. I know that giving him this means telling him so. I took a step forward and put my hand on the door. Cameron patted me on the back as she walked off. Then she turned around. We both stood there for a while. Neither of us was quiet ready to move on yet. I knew she was waiting to see if I went in.
"So, are you gonna stand there all day, or what" Finally I work up the nerve and turn the knob. Up until now I could still turn around and House would never know, but as soon I stepped into his office, now I know. There's no turning back.