A.N./ Well, it is Wednesday. A little late, but still on the day promised. But FF might not even get it posted until Thursday because it is THAT SLOW! I have been running around these past two day like a mad woman. I mean, getting ready for Prom (this Saturday, holy crap), Katharine's birthday Friday (which my friend and I are planning, complete with a three tear cake with fondant thank-you-very-much), writing a script for our film project, AP testing in two weeks, GRADUATION! I have gotten an equivalent of eight hours of sleep the past three days combined. I hate time. Enjoy the chapter …
Rating: R. I didn't mean for it, but it is. If you want to read a PG-13 version, please comment that you want it and I will post it. Please do not read if you are offended by graphic snogging!
The Middle of the Staircase
Sirius opened his eyes, giving up on any futile possibility of sleeping. He stared up at the canopy of fabric, listening closely to the breathing of his roommates. James would always toss and turn, vocalizing his dreams, but tonight he was silent and still. Peter was also uncharacteristically quiet; if what James' sleeping habits were described as "tossing and turning," then Peter's would be "flailing." As annoyingly clingy as Peter was, he never really talked about things that were troubling him. Sirius just figured that he worked through it while he slept.
The only boy that wasn't quiet, it seemed, was Remus. Sirius could hear his mattress groan every once and a while when he would turn over on his side; but Sirius didn't just know these movements because he had been bunking up with him for the past six years, like the other boys. He practically felt what Remus was doing. Sometimes, he would lay awake just to listen for glimpses of his slow, methodical movements. He would be so lucky as to hear him whisper in his sleep. Tonight, however, he did not have to strain for those precious moments to have something more to imagine going on in the bed beside him. He imagined what he would find if he ventured out and draw back those scarlet curtains. His fingers began to itch for that skin and his hands started to shake; it was more than he could handle at the moment.
Sirius screwed his eyes shut, banishing the thought from him, but it was impossible. Before he knew it, he could hear a not so quiet sigh from Remus and it nearly pushed him to the edge of insanity. He made a quick decision to get up for a glass of water.
The dormitory was dark around him and the boy in the other bed stilled. He probably just woke for a moment and fell quickly to sleep. The floor was cold beneath his feet and he flexed his toes, clenching his fingers hard against his palms as he approached Remus' bed. His hand, now extended, reached hesitantly toward the fabric and it felt like every organ inside of him was melting into a pool that settled near his groin. But as his fingers brushed the velvet, he swallowed hard and turned toward the door, striding out as quickly and quietly as he could.
Once he reached the pitcher in the common room, he gulped the cold water so fast that it splashed over his lips and down his front. The jolt helped him wake a bit more and shook him out of the dream of him and Remus doing things he could never speak of out loud. As long as he tried to think of other things, he would be able to go back upstairs and get an hour or two of sleep before everyone had to wake up.
He tossed the hair out of his eyes, focusing his thoughts: Quidditch. James' new idea for a prank. Snape's hair. Remus' eyes … Peter eating eggs for breakfast. Regulus pouting with his nose in the air. Lily's body. Remus' body on top of his own … His mother's shrill screams. Remus' sultry moans. Sirius gave up, throwing his arms in the air and he flopped onto the couch. Trying not to think about it gave him an even bigger headache than if he were to just let his thoughts roam.
However, he knew that he had to get some sleep tonight. After a few more minutes to gather up his thoughts and compose himself, he got up from the couch and moved toward the stairway. But he stopped suddenly at the sight at the top and stood motionless on the spot.
The room was still around him when Remus woke. His eyes ached and he rubbed his face roughly. Turning over in his bed, mattress groaning beneath him, he reached out to his bedside table and grabbed the clock. It said that he had only slept half an hour.
His body tensed and he laid back down on his bed, throwing the covers off of him. Damn Sirius. Damn himself. This has to stop now, he thought, rubbing his temples. He was too tired, literally and figuratively, to go on with this any more. He knew, however, that if it were anyone other than Sirius, this would be easier to get over. But it was Sirius.
The Sirius who took him into the greatest group of friends anyone could ever wish to have. The Sirius who figured what he was first, and accept him anyway. The Sirius who discovered the difficult spell to become an animagi for him. It was the way he would tenderly help him into his robes after transformations. The way he could make him laugh, as if he were born with the ability to do so where many had failed. He was the one who could make his temperature rise with just one look, one word. He was charming, hilarious, clever, cheeky, infuriating, beautiful.
Remus rolled over on his side, stretching his legs in a moment of contentment. Although the pain of thinking about him was too terrible to comprehend, it still filled him with a light he had never known before. It was like butterbeer was injected into his veins and every question could be answered. Oh, he could just imagine what it would be like to kiss him. The thought itself made something inside his heart click and he moved his hand across his collarbone to rest over that heart that pumped so heatedly.
He let loose a sigh as he thought of how it would feel to throw Sirius against a wall and feel the hot friction between them. But as soon as the breath left his lungs, a sound came from beside him and he lay very still, cursing himself for letting his guard down. It was Sirius getting up from bed. He didn't think that he was being so loud as to wake Sirius, but he still dare not move. He heard the boy rise from his bed and open the curtains around his bed. There was a patter of bare feet against the floor and they slowly made their way toward him. Remus opened his eyes widely, observing closely to see if his own curtains would move. It was his fault to turn over to Sirius' side of the room. Why couldn't it have been Peter's side, he groaned inwardly.
But he could feel Sirius' presence just beyond the confines of his bed. He heard Sirius' hand brush the fabric and he shut his eyes quickly, preparing himself to pretend to be asleep. However, luck was in his favor and he could hear Sirius leave the room. When the room was still again Remus let an even louder sigh, relaxing. Yes, it was time for this to stop.
He just needed to go back to sleep and try and move on. That is, until after Sirius got back from where ever he was. Probably just out to get a glass of water, he told himself comfortingly. He was definitely not out to meet some girl in an empty corridor where they would make love to one another and plan to get married after school and have many many heterosexual babies and Sirius would forget about his freak friend and live normally happy ever after. Remus furrowed his brow, wondering how he could have just made that up. He played it over again in his head, chuckling at how silly it was. But after five minutes passed by and not even a sound on the staircase other scenarios began to play his mind.
Carefully getting up from his bed, he quietly made his way to the staircase. He rounded the corner, staying as close to the shadows as possible. Sirius was sitting on the couch, clad only in his pajama pants, chest rising and falling gently. His eyes were shut, obviously deep in concentration. He put his hand on his flat abdomen and Remus fixated his gaze on those long fingers. Though they were still, he could imagine them start to roam across that smooth skin, up to his chest, or down to …
So lost in thought, Remus drifted out of the shadows and to the top of the stairs in plain view. Sirius got up, rolling his shoulders and cracking his back. Remus froze, knowing that even if he were to run Sirius would know he was there watching him. Sirius stopped in his tracks, standing at the bottom of the stairs, holding onto the banister. Neither moved, neither spoke. They were just so surprised to see the other that they stared at each other for a moment.
"What are you doing awake?" Sirius asked, not moving in the least, hand still griping the banister. Remus was extremely disheveled, hair sticking this way and that. He looked perfect.
"What are you doing awake?" Remus asked, slightly panicked. He couldn't take his eyes away from Sirius' bare chest now that he had a better view of it. Sirius chest moved so beautifully and his stomach was firm and looked so soft.
Sirius noticed that he had left his shirt upstairs when he had thrown it off in frustration over the heat. He took his hand away and crossed his arms across his chest, extremely self-conscious for once. "I asked you first."
"I came down for a glass of water," Remus lied quickly, mimicking Sirius and flickered his eye up to meet the other boys.
"Same here," Sirius said. "Did I wake you?"
"No," Remus said.
They stood there silently, staring stupidly at each other, not knowing what to say. Remus, however, was troubled by one thing. Before he could think of how to say it, or even contemplate whether it was a wise decision to even bring it up, he blurted out, "Do you miss her?"
Sirius stopped, flustered. He didn't really think about it all that much until tonight, really. While she was around, he didn't think about things with Remus as much, which was nice. But, all he really felt was shame that he had dragged her along. "I suppose. Why do you ask?"
Remus took a step down the stairs, looking down to watch his step but really to hide his face. "I just – I wasn't very nice to her, is all. I was wandering if I made things harder on you for some reason."
"Why would you think that?" Sirius asked incredulously, laughing at the stupidity of the statement. He took a step up, trying to look into his face, hoping to read his expression. Something about the starting of the conversation made his stomach flutter.
"It's because you won't even look at me when I'm in the room!" said Remus, unable to hide the pain in his voice. He knew it sounded childish, but he had to know.
"That's for another reason, Remus. It doesn't concern you," Sirius lied, suddenly unhappy with the way this was going.
"Why wouldn't it be me if I'm the one you won't talk to. You talk to James all the time. You've even taken to talking Peter more than me." Remus said, the level of his voice rising as he moved closer to Sirius. He didn't even care anymore. He had felt the brunt of Sirius ignoring him for far too long. He needed him as a friend out of this, at least.
Sirius was starting to get angry with him. There was no way that Remus would understand; he would lose him. "Why are you being so idiotic, Remus? And what the hell does this have to do with Emily?" He started shaking, not only out of anger but also out of fear. This could be the night were everything would fall apart.
"It has everything to do with that Emily. She-"
"That Emily? What, is she a thing now?"
"Well, I always thought so. She was always hanging around you like a horny little monkey. She was a fake chippy who-"
They were in each other's face, yelling out of duel frustration that they really weren't even listening to what the other was saying anymore. Remus was red faced, shaking, and nearly on top of Sirius who was just on the step below him. Sirius was just as red and shaking more than Remus, of anger and of their close proximity.
They continued to argue incoherently until finally someone yelled groggily, "Shut the hell up! It's bloody three in the morning, you effing wankers!" The two of them stood still, their chests brushing from their heaving, waiting for whoever yelled to fall back asleep, watching the top of the stairs. Their breathing calmed, and Remus' face was still turned awkwardly away from Sirius'. Neither of them dared to move because they were so close. Sirius could smell his hair and gave one last frustrated sigh.
Remus whipped his head around to see what he was on about, but lost his footing and fell on top of Sirius. There was a flail of arms and legs as they slid down the stairs together, both gasping. Remus closed his eyes, knowing that they would break their necks until Sirius threw out an arm and grabbed the railing. When Remus opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Sirius' face no more than two inches away from his own. His arms were wrapped around Sirius' bare back, one leg tangled in his, and Sirius' free arm holding the small of his back securely. They were laying half on the floor, and Sirius was staring at his bottom lip. Out of instinct, his eyes flicker over Sirius' own mouth, which was half open, and flickered back to Sirius' still down cast eyes.
Before he knew it, Remus licked that top lip with the tip of his tongue. It sent jolt down his spine and his lips tingled with excitement. Heat built up in his groin and he looked back up at Sirius. He was staring at him, a moment of disbelief shrouding his face. Remus nearly didn't get his tongue back in his mouth before Sirius pressed the tip of his own tongue to Remus'.
Their mouths crushed together, tongues sliding together at an alarming rate. There was no time for words. Both knew instantly why there was so much tension over the past two years. Both were too excited and frightened to care anymore. Sirius leaned back on the foot of the stairs, delving his fingers into Remus' hair. They would part every so often to take a few shaky breaths before kissing deeper and going further. Remus straddled Sirius' stomach and they sat up together. Sirius grabbed the bottom of Remus' pajama shirt and tugged it up. Their lips parted only for a moment as the shirt was tossed to the side and Sirius ran his hands up and down Remus' chest, feeling his racing heart below the surface of velvety skin.
Remus' hips ground into Sirius' navel and they both gasped, kissing hungrily. Sirius moved his face away from the kiss, looking down at the bulge in Remus' pants, his vision now hazy. Remus cupped the back of his head and sucked on his ear, eliciting a cry from the other boy. Sirius fingered the lining, panting as his fingers brushed Remus' hardness, drawing Remus' attention back to the other boy's mouth. Remus leaned him back and thrust slowly and surely, his whole body rolling. Sirius's own started weakly imitating Remus', kissing his shoulder tenderly; he groaned for Remus to move down as the rolling of their hips becoming harder. Remus laid his leg between Sirius', grinding their cocks together roughly.
"Your hard … Remus, god," Sirius moaned, letting his head fall back onto the carpet. Remus licked the column of neck below him, sucking on the cartilage. Sirius moved his hands down, groping his arse, crushing their hips harder together and wrapping his leg around Remus' waist.
The rise and fall of their bodies became faster and Sirius kissed Remus, tongue first, swirling them together and lapping up his sweet saliva as his upper body arched up, wrapping his arms around Remus' shoulders. With a few final, hard thrusts, they both fell back, kissing tenderly, hearts still rapidly beating against the other's chest. Remus placed small kisses on Sirius' forehead, cheeks, nose. Sirius still had his legs wrapped around his body, rolling his hips every once and a while. He smiled up at Remus, whose bangs were slightly damp from the sweat.
"That's why I don't miss her."
Remus looked at him groggily He had had no idea how tired he was until now. His body was numb but bursting with sensations all at once and it confused him profusely, seeing as that all the blood had left this brain. The only thing he could think of was Sirius. Sirius was underneath him, kissing him, fucking him, running his hands all over his body, his hair. He was actually preparing to wake up right about now. "Who's tha'?" he asked foolishly, his words running together tiredly.
Sirius smiled, shaking his head. They kissed once more, prolonging the moment they were to get up. But they both knew well enough that it wouldn't be the best idea to continue snogging at the foot of the stairs in the common room where every Gryffindor would be waking in a few hours.
Sirius kissed him once more and motioned for them to get up. Remus shook his head, pressing his hips down further into Sirius, cock hard once again. Sirius chuckled and moaned. "Remus, we have to."
Thrusting a few more times, Remus kissed Sirius hard on the mouth, but only for a moment. Their legs shaking, they both helped the other up, kissing and groping up the stairs. Outside their room, they kissed, tongues licking lips and Sirius pressed Remus against the door. The knob stuck into Remus' back, causing him to thrust back into Sirius' body harshly and their hipbones painfully crushed together, but the pain was fantastic. When Sirius opened the door from behind them, they both fell in, laughing under their muffled kiss, drunk on this feeling. When they finally parted between their beds they kissed one last time. Though they would have a lot to talk about in the morning, neither cared. They just knew that they were going into one of the best night's sleep of their lives.
A few hours later, Gryffindors wandered downstairs to eat breakfast and were puzzled to find someone's shirt laying at the foot of the staircase.
A.N./ Yeah, didn't know I was going to take it that far. Oh well, I hope you guys liked it all the same. But please, tell me if you do (like it, that is). I'm a little rusty from being away from writing for such a long time.
Either way, I was thinking about a lengthy story. If any of you care to look I talked about it in the above A.N. of chapter two of this story. Please, please, please if you could read the note and tell me what you think I could know whether I should spend time on it. If I have enough people ask, I could have the summary and preface ready pretty soon. But that's only if you guys are interested. For now, however, please just leave a comment.