Meanwhile, in his underground cave, the Darkling sat watching a cheap little TV set. A gremlin-like monkey ghost, named Cojammer, was flipping channels on a remote by dancing across the numbers with his feet.
"Just find something and watch it!" hissed the Darkling. "STOP flipping!"
Cojammer ignored him. "Hey, the fun is in the flipping! What more could a guy ask for than to sit around and watch one hundred and twenty channels in thirty seconds?"
"I'd rather be sucking souls."
Terroreyes rushed in, followed by Archlight. "Boss! There's a tiger at that camp that can see us when we're invisible!"
The Darkling expressed his anger by smacking Cojammer across the cave. "Curses! Some animals have that power! Before he can interfere with our mission, scare him out!"
"There's also a kid," added Archlight. "Should we scare him, too?"
"Fine, fine! I just want that tiger out of here!" shouted the demon. "Oh, I'll never be brought back at this rate..."
Cojammer hopped up, unhurt by his flight. "Yes you will!"
(sung to the tune of "Gaston")
Cojammer: Gosh, it sure pains me to see you, Darkling
Sitting down here in this pit
True, as far as humor can go
Other ghosts have much more wit
But there's no ghost around who's as evil as you
You're every ghostbuster's worst fear
You're an awesome guy and in tribute to you
We ghosts put together this cheer
No one throws like Darkling
No one's strange like Darkling
When shape-shifting, no one can change like Darkling
No one's a terror and an amazement
You're always an omen of doom
No one's spooky and oh, so disturbing
And can the lower temperature of a steam room!
Ghosts: No one freaks like Darkling
Makes pipes leak like Darkling
Can make a strong human so weak like Darkling!
To religious figures, I'm intimidating!
Ghosts: My what a guy, that Darkling
Give five "hurrahs"
Cojammer: Darkling is the best
And the rest is all drips
Ghosts: No one scares like Darkling
Pulls kids' hairs like Darkling
No one makes all humans beware like Darkling
For there's no one as bloody or gory...
The forces of evil are mine
Ghosts: He's got some great haunting stories
Darkling: That's right! As far as demons go, I'm especially fine!
Ghosts: No one's weird like Darkling
No one's feared like Darkling
got a horrifying leer like Darkling
Darkling: Humans get heart-attacks by looking at me...BOO!
Ghosts: Ten points for Darkling!
Darkling: When I was a mere imp, I'd always hide out
In an ancient Ouija board
And when I was summoned, I ruined the lives
dumb kids who called me, because they were bored
Ghosts: No one's cool like Darkling
We're all fools, 'cept Darkling
haunts buildings, houses, and schools like Darkling
Darkling: I specialize in run-down cemeteries
Ghosts: So let's all toast
To this ghost of a ghost
And let's say it once more
Who's the specter next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know?
Can't you guess?
Who's the one ghost around
Who's got all of it down?
Cojammer: Well, his names' G-A-S-T-O-N! Wait, that's not it...
There was a pause as all the ghosts that had flown in looked around awkwardly, wondering what just happened. The Darkling finally broke the silence. "Now that our random musical number is over, LOOK FOR THAT KID! And scare the boy and his tiger out of here!" The Darkling smashed his claw down, sending a huge vibration through the cave. Quivers was the first to fly out, followed by the rest.