Meanwhile, in his underground cave, the Darkling sat watching a cheap little TV set. A gremlin-like monkey ghost, named Cojammer, was flipping channels on a remote by dancing across the numbers with his feet.

"Just find something and watch it!" hissed the Darkling. "STOP flipping!"

Cojammer ignored him. "Hey, the fun is in the flipping! What more could a guy ask for than to sit around and watch one hundred and twenty channels in thirty seconds?"

"I'd rather be sucking souls."

Terroreyes rushed in, followed by Archlight. "Boss! There's a tiger at that camp that can see us when we're invisible!"

The Darkling expressed his anger by smacking Cojammer across the cave. "Curses! Some animals have that power! Before he can interfere with our mission, scare him out!"

"There's also a kid," added Archlight. "Should we scare him, too?"

"Fine, fine! I just want that tiger out of here!" shouted the demon. "Oh, I'll never be brought back at this rate..."

Cojammer hopped up, unhurt by his flight. "Yes you will!"

(sung to the tune of "Gaston")

Cojammer: Gosh, it sure pains me to see you, Darkling

Sitting down here in this pit

True, as far as humor can go

Other ghosts have much more wit

But there's no ghost around who's as evil as you

You're every ghostbuster's worst fear

You're an awesome guy and in tribute to you

We ghosts put together this cheer

No one throws like Darkling

No one's strange like Darkling

When shape-shifting, no one can change like Darkling

No one's a terror and an amazement

You're always an omen of doom

No one's spooky and oh, so disturbing

And can the lower temperature of a steam room!

Ghosts: No one freaks like Darkling

Makes pipes leak like Darkling

Can make a strong human so weak like Darkling!

Darkling: To religious figures, I'm intimidating!
Ghosts: My what a guy, that Darkling

Give five "hurrahs"

Give twelve "hip-hips"
Cojammer: Darkling is the best

And the rest is all drips

Ghosts: No one scares like Darkling

Pulls kids' hairs like Darkling

No one makes all humans beware like Darkling

For there's no one as bloody or gory...

Darkling: The forces of evil are mine
Ghosts: He's got some great haunting stories
Darkling: That's right! As far as demons go, I'm especially fine!

Ghosts: No one's weird like Darkling

No one's feared like Darkling

No one's got a horrifying leer like Darkling
Darkling: Humans get heart-attacks by looking at me...BOO!
Ghosts: Ten points for Darkling!
Darkling: When I was a mere imp, I'd always hide out

In an ancient Ouija board

And when I was summoned, I ruined the lives

Of the dumb kids who called me, because they were bored
Ghosts: No one's cool like Darkling

We're all fools, 'cept Darkling

No one haunts buildings, houses, and schools like Darkling
Darkling: I specialize in run-down cemeteries

Ghosts: So let's all toast

To this ghost of a ghost

And let's say it once more

Who's the specter next door?

Who's a super success?

Don't you know?

Can't you guess?

Who's the one ghost around

Who's got all of it down?

Cojammer: Well, his names' G-A-S-T-O-N! Wait, that's not it...


There was a pause as all the ghosts that had flown in looked around awkwardly, wondering what just happened. The Darkling finally broke the silence. "Now that our random musical number is over, LOOK FOR THAT KID! And scare the boy and his tiger out of here!" The Darkling smashed his claw down, sending a huge vibration through the cave. Quivers was the first to fly out, followed by the rest.