Harry was brooding darkly over his homework, thinking upon his future or possible lack thereof, when suddenly a beautiful apparition appeared above him.
"What's wrong with Ron today?" Neville asked conversationally, pulling aside the curtain to Harry's bed. His alabaster skin and pale eyes looked beautiful in the half-light.
Harry stared at him a long moment, mouth dry.
"Erm, he's acting strangely," Harry said. "I think it's because I keep having sex with everyone."
Neville stared at him a long moment. "Oh."
Harry was calmly studying when Ron returned. The other boy glanced around briefly, noticing Seamus dressing for bed.
"Where's Neville?" he asked casually.
"Showering," Harry said, without looking up from his book.
A curious thing happened then. Seamus's face grew crimson.
Ron peered at him suspiciously for a long moment. Then he glanced towards the shower door. And suddenly he knew.
"Harry, you didn't!" he cried.
Harry raised a challenging eyebrow. "So what if I did? What are you going to do about it?"
"Seamus, how could you?" Ron cried, ignoring the challenge in Harry's voice. "There's something wrong with him!"
Harry bristled, offended by the suggestion. Seamus grew impossibly redder and immediately went on the defensive.
"It's only because I walked in on him makng passionate love with Neville! It looked like fun!"
"NEVILLE?" Ron cried. "NO! Noooooooo!"
Snape held him back for detention after class, and immediately told him to undress and prepare for more lovemaking. Harry pulled off his robes, happy to comply.
Snape watched him undress through narrow, black eyes.
"Don't you find it the slightest bit odd, Mr. Potter," he said coldly, "That you are suddenly desired by all and sundry?"
Harry thought about it a moment. Shrugged. "No. Not really."
Snape pressed a long, thin finger to his lips and continued to eye him suspiciously. "Well, I certainly do. It was not your cavorting with each of the Malfoys successively that I find strange—many have done that at some point or another. Nor was it your liason with me, or even your dalliance with Lupin on my bed…"
Harry winced; they thought they'd been so careful to hide the evidence!
"… nor was it your liaison with Blaise Zabini or Miss Granger that especially threw me… But I find it quite odd that Madame Pince begged you to soil her with your manly seed."
Harry kicked aside the last of his clothes, and turned to face Snape with a note of challenge. "How'd you find out about that? I expected a librarian to be a bit more—well, quiet about it."
Snape smirked. "You were in plain view of the entire library, you young fool. My only advise to you is to steer clear of Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. Those are not images I want lodged in my mind."
Harry swallowed hard. Nor did he, really.
"I do wonder about your sudden… appeal," Snape continued. "Perhaps I should research curses…"
"Don't bother," Harry said quickly. "I kinda like this curse."
"It clearly involves some element of arousing the desires of others, and lowering the inhibitions in you," Snape said clinically, ignoring him. "Yet the overpowering desire on the part of others abates as soon as the relationship has been consummated—"
"Really?" Harry said, a bit hurt. "You don't desire me now that we've slept together?"
Snape stepped closer and drew Harry in for a kiss.
"On the contrary, Mr. Potter, nothing arouses me more than imagining the look your father's face, were he alive to witness this."
He smirked, and ran a possessive hand down Harry's backside.
"And, Potter?" he said."This time—I top."
He emerged from detention flushed, shaky. Ron and Hermione were waiting. She smiled upon spotting him, but Ron—more attuned, for once—took in his flushed cheeks, his slightly uneven walk.
"Harry, not again!" he cried.
Harry smiled sheepishly. "You're just going to have to get used to it, mate."
"But-- but--" Ron sputtered. "Snape. He's SNAPE!"
Harry shrugged. "He's an ass, but he's got a great ass."
He heard a choked sob.
Harry glanced over and realized Hermione's eyes had suddenly filled with tears. Remembering his liaison with her, he suddenly felt awful.
"Oh, Hermione, I'm so—"
But she did not stay to hear him. She ran.
Ron glared at him accusingly for a long moment, then followed.
Harry stared after them, suddenly feeling like a right asshole and very alone.
It took him a while to realize it wasn't actually his fault. His friends were just being pricks. Crabbe and Goyle reassured him of this later as they stretched out naked under the Quidditch stands.
I still don't get what, specifically, about the summary you don't like. I thought it was a cool summary... but I suppose saying 'love' twice in one sentence 'true love' and 'make love' is worded a bit awkwardly, but there are a lot of bad summaries on this site. I could have been lazy and been like 'I suck at summaries' like a whole lot of people do and not bother to write one! But I didn't cause that is irritating.