This was an entry for Live Journal's inu(underscore)comedy contest. I couldn't resist using all the items listed. You don't have to be a member to check out all the entries... just go to Live Journal and do a search for inu(underscore)comedy! (shameless plug)
Just so we're clear Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takehashi. I'm just borrowing and I'll try to return everyone safely. (yeah, right)
"Hey Kagome! Where've you been?"
"Mom sent me out for more food. I don't know what Sesshoumaru's wish was but why did everyone have to end up in my house?"
Inuyasha kissed her on the cheek.
"He's not telling anyone what he wished. I want to know why the hell Jakotsu's here. He's giving me the creeps."
"You! I found him in my black lacy underwear and pink bunny slippers." Kagome shuddered, "I burned the clothes but I still have to live with that image!"
"What! That was my fav…"
Kagome's hand slapped over his mouth.
"If you want to live you won't finish that where others can hear. Here, help me get this food up to the house."
"What's with all the cucumbers?"
"Jaken's request. I'm not asking and I'm hoping he won't tell."
Inuyasha made a face and silently agreed.
They made it up the stairs just in time to see a large pink beach ball floating towards the top of Goshinboku. The irate miko started gritting her teeth.
"Shippo, get back down here before someone sees you! I swear everyone here is trying to drive me insane. I'm gonna wind up rocking in a corner of the mental ward blowing bubbles."
Shippo floated down and changed back with a slight pop.
"But Kagome, I'm bored and Mrs. Higurashi told me to play outside."
Inuyasha frowned. "Why'd she do that? Did you pull another prank on Kagome's grandfather?"
"Well, no, it's just a misunderstanding."
Kagome pinned the kitsune with an icy glare.
"What. Did. You. Do?"
Shippo shifted nervously.
"Well, the only thing wrong is a broken toilet."
Kagome's stare got frostier and Shippo stuttered out the rest of the tale.
"It started with the catnip. I got some out for Buyo and Kirara got into it. It was really funny…"
Shippo gulped as Kagome stepped closer to him.
"But, uh, she got really high so I used a rope to tie her to the toilet so she wouldn't be flying around the house knocking stuff over. I didn't know she was that strong so it's not really my fault is it?"
Shippo pulled out the 'I'm completely innocent' look.
"Save it kid, she's not buying it."
Inuyasha opened the door and ushered Kagome in. He gave her a quick hug and kiss.
"Its ok honey, just relax and I'll go give the groceries to your mom."
A dazed Kagome just nodded.
Sango came in the room and Inuyasha gestured for her to take care of Kagome.
"Kagome, its ok, there's nothing to worry about. Ginta and Hakkaku are still passed out in the wheelbarrow but Kouga is repairing the shed and jii-chan has enough red paint to cover the patch."
Kagome stared at her friend in confusion.
"Ahh. Haaha. That's not what you're worried about is it?"
Sango started inching away.
"Umm, I think I should go check on Miroku. He and jii-chan are discussing, umm, religion. Yeah, and it's really interesting so I'm going to go listen to them now."
Sango dashed into the next room and Kagome buried her head in her hands. She looked up again as Souta clattered through the room and raced up the stairs with a leaky bucket full of water.
"Souta, what's happening now?"
"Sorry sis, can't talk, gotta put out the fire."
Kagome followed, taking the steps two at a time. A wide eyed Rin and Kohaku were guiltily staring at a sodden and slightly crisp Jaken. He had been wearing a frilly green apron and the smell from the burned polyester filled the room.
'Do I want to know or would ignorance be bliss?' Unfortunately the choice was taken away from her when the two kids started babbling that Inuyasha had told them how she had fought a toad demon with a fire spray and they wanted to see if it really worked.
"But we didn't know exactly what Jaken was so we used bug spray just in case."
Rin smiled up at Kohaku and added, "We didn't have a lamp but Sesshoumaru told us where the matches were so we used them instead. That was fun Kagome! Can we do it again?"
Kagome woke up in a sweat and turned to the demon at her side.
"You! You are not allowed to ever make a wish! Stay away from the Shikon no Tama! AND Furthermore I am not in love with Inuyasha! Just remember that."
She got up and waddled out to the bathroom muttering all the way. Sesshoumaru sighed, wishing once again for a small rebellion to crush. This was turning into a long nine months.