Don't Drive Faster

A collaboration by Lady Whitehaven and Suzanne of Dragons Breath

Authors Note: 2 Babes + massive sleep dep + 14 hour road trip this fic. We have no clue what we were on when one of us came up with the idea at 2 am. We aren't even sure which of us came up with it.


Did you ever have one of those days where you just can't stay out of trouble? Welcome to my life. My name is Sera, I'm a twelfth rank guardian angel, and I have the dubious pleasure of shepherding one Stephanie Plum through life. I was only fourth rank when I started, but advancement has been quick thanks to some of her escapades. I could have done without the honor.

Steph's childhood adventures weren't that bad, though I wish she hadn't jumped off the roof. Have you any idea how difficult it is to change the angle of descent to keep a kid from breaking her neck?

This bounty hunting gig has given me quite a workout. I haven't been pushed so hard since I had to arrange for her to walk in on The Dick screwing The Skank. The woman attracts psychos like Orlando Bloom attracts fangirls.

Which leads me to now. Stephanie is currently locked –with her own handcuffs, no less- to a chain link fence outside of a schoolyard, enriching the students' vocabulary. It would be an easy matter to unlock the cuffs, except that the keys are in her handbag. Which is at least a foot out of her reach. She's enough to drive an angel to drink.

At least this is an easy enough problem to solve. There's a breeze today, so I use it to mask the fact that I kicked her bag over. Now it's close enough that she can hook the strap with her foot. At least she notices this on her own. It's possible for a guardian angel to give a mental nudge to her charge, but it is so much easier when we don't have to.

Moments later, she has the cuffs unlocked and is once again chasing her skip, but it's a lost cause. He took advantage of her brief incarceration to drive off.

I realize that she found doing computer work for Manoso boring, but a part of me wishes she hadn't gone back to skip chasing for Vinnie after they caught Stiva. I may have gotten tired of reminding Steph that she was with Morelli and shouldn't flirt with Manoso, but she got shot at less. As the individual responsible for keeping her from being hit by those bullets, I really should have a say in the decision.

And speaking of the men in her life, I wish she would just pick one, already. At this point, I don't care which one it is! I'm tired of the glares their angels keep giving me. It's not my fault she can't make up her mind! I have enough to do, just keeping her alive!

I relax as she gets into Big Blue. Steph and company joke that this car is indestructible, and she's not far wrong. Sandor already had a few protections on it, and when I saw the way Steph's car luck was running, I traded in a few favors to make the car the equivalent of a mobile bomb shelter. (Pun not intended).