Disclaimers: I don't own JAG, or it's characters.
Spoilers: None really, this is just a flashback that I really wanted to see in Four Percent Solution.
A/N: Okay. In Four Percent Solution, Mac says that she had been talking to Harriet about Harriet leaving JAG, and if she missed her job, and Harriet showed her the ultra sound. I was waiting for a flashback after Mac said that, but it didn't come. So... I wrote one. Hope you like it. This is in Mac's POV.
I stand on the porch of the perfect white picket fence house. The lawn is well cut, and the gardens are full in bloom. I take a deep breath, and smooth my white skirt down nervously. Why I'm nervous? I really don't know. I shouldn't be, Harriet's one of my closest friends. Even if I haven't talked to her in about a month. I lift my hand, curling it into a fist, and knock on the door.
I can hear the laughter of children erupt, and footsteps stampede towards the door. The door is swung open, and I'm greeted by AJ Robert's big smile. "Aunt Mac!" he squeals, as I give him a smile. His little brother tumbles over to him from behind, and gives me an almost toothless grin, and lets out a laugh.
Harriet sighs from behind them. "I thought I told you not to answer the door until I'm there." She gives me an exasperated look, as she scoops up Jimmy, and pulls AJ affectionately aside to let me in. "Come on in ma'am." she smiles.
I'm immediately at ease. For some reason, Harriet always seems to have that sort of personality, the one that can put anyone in a better mood. I step in, and she closes the door. I follow her into the living room, AJ jumping behind me. Harriet places Jimmy into his playpen, and stands up, rubbing her back. I don't blame her for being sore. She is carrying twins. She looks over at AJ. "AJ, go and finish cleaning your room. I don't want to be stepping on action figures when I got in there."
He frowns, giving us a little pout. He looks very much like his father, and I smile. "Okay..." he replies, slowly making his way over to the stairs.
I turn back to Harriet. "He looks so much like his father." I tell her.
She lets out a laugh, and nods, gesturing for me to sit down next to her on the couch. "So, what can I help you with Ma'am?" she asks me. "Can I get you anything?"
I look at her. She's always gotten this radiance about her when she's pregnant. She just glows. "Um, no thank you. Actually... I came here to talk to you. I never get the chance to anymore, since you left the office."
She nods. "Yea. I do miss that."
"Do you miss your job?" I hope I don't sound too forward. I just want to know if she had any regrets. About choosing motherhood over her career.
She once more nods, but looks down on her large stomach, running hand over it. "Yea, a lot. But, I don't regret it. Nothing beats being a mother. Or being pregnant."
I frown slightly. "Being pregnant?" Most women don't want to be pregnant, just because you carry around another fifty pounds for nine months.
She lets out a laugh. "I know. But something about having something I made living inside of me, just makes me feel so... happy. Except when people on the street come up to me and start rubbing my stomach, like it's public property." I laugh with her at this, until she continues. "Bud felt them kick last night. It was really wonderful, just watching his face while they kicked." Her smile becomes wider. "I have an ultrasound with me, you want to see them."
My heart leaps. I've never seen an ultrasound before. "Sure." I say, quickly. She slowly gets up, and exits the room. I'm left alone with Jimmy for a moment, as he gurgles at me happily. I smile back at him. I wonder what it would be like to have children of my own. I guess I'll never know, now.
Harriet takes a seat next to me, breaking my train of thought. I scoot over closer to her, and she points them out with her fingertip. "We just got these yesterday. See? That's our little boy, and that's our little girl." she smiles.
My mouth is open slightly in awe. It's truly beautiful. The babies look as if they are praying. And all of this - two living people - are in her stomach. It's... amazing. I glance over at her stomach.
"Oh." she sucks in a breath. I look up at her, and gives me a smile, to calm my nerves. "They're kicking again. Here."
As if she read my mind, she picks up my hand, and places it on her stomach. I wait for only a moment, before I could feel a gentle kick through her stomach. I look up at her, my mouth completely open in shock. She looks back at me, with a big smile. "Amazing, right?"
I slowly nod my head, leaning back up and lifting my hand from her stomach. Suddenly, my pager goes off in a shrill ring. Jimmy's happy gurgling stops, as I look at my pager, it flashes a message from General Creswell. I sigh, and look up at Harriet. She gives me a sympathetic smile. "It's okay. Bud just left too. Here, you can keep this one. We've got two."
I frown at that, but she quickly answers it. "We've got two kids. Both boys. Odds are one of them is going to get peanut butter, or some sticky substance on one of them." she smiles.
I smile back at her, and after a quick kiss on the cheek from all three of them, I find myself on the perfect white picket fence house's front porch. I sigh sadly, and slowly make my way off the porch and over to my car. As I pull out of the driveway, I wonder... Will I ever get what Harriet has? A wonderful husband, two kids with two more on the way? My mind drifts to Harm, our deal, my condition, and his solutions to it. Part of me wants to ignore Creswell, drive as fast as I can to Harm's apartment, and tell him that I'm taking him up on his offer. But an even bigger part of me, the reality facing part, tells me I can't. It just wouldn't work, so what would the point be? I know Harm would be a wonderful father to his kids, and I know that I would be a good mother.
But it just won't ever happen.