First up… Charlie Bucket!

"Know your stars…" said the voice. "Charlie Bucket… is the meanest kid in school."

"What?" said Charlie. "I am not the meanest kid in school! I'm nice!"

"Charlie Bucket… Once threw Hilary Duff in a dumpster."

"I didn't throw Hilary Duff in a dumpster!" snapped Charlie. "I would never do that!"

Then suddenly, Hilary Duff and Joel Madden walk on stage covered in trash from head to toe.

"That's the skinny little shrimp that threw us in a dumpster!" screamed Hilary.

"Let's get him!" Joel yelled.

"Security!" the voice yelled. "Get these losers of the stage! I have a show to do!"

Two police men walked on stage and pulled Joel and Hilary away.

"Charlie Bucket… has a huge crush on Veruca Salt!"

"No I don't!" said Charlie blushing a little.

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not!" said Charlie.

"Charlie Bucket… has an imaginary friend named Poopman."

"Okay!" Charlie got out of the chair. "First of all, I don't have an imaginary friend, and second, what kind of name is Poopman?"

"Charlie Bucket… wishes that Veruca was his girlfriend."

"You're lying, your lying, your lying!" Charlie yelled stomping his foot on the stage.

"Now you know Charlie Bucket."

"They don't know a thing about me!" Charlie yelled. "Come back here and tell them the truth!"

"Hey Poopman," said the voice, "Let's go get a milkshake…"

I know that wasn't funny, but next up is Augustus Gloop and I need ideas!