I sat in my room in anguish, tormented by sorrow. In my mind I' am a mere shadow of my former self, no longer the good natured man I used to be, not the happy go lucky, not the idiotic sham that shames me.
I no longer grow a smile since I have no reason to, I no longer laugh since I have nothing to laugh about.
In the two forms of Greek Drama, there is Tragedy and Comedy. The twist to it is that: Tragedy is Comedy, down is up. The opposites are but mere facades of how I really feel; distraught, frail minded and depressed.
If there were any words to describe my feelings, then there would be countless of them. For only the oblivious answer to it all would be nothing but a broken heart.
My heart was at first wounded when she left for the man she is now wed to and after that my heart was completely broken, I was too late to reveal my true affections to her and now she is gone.
I would give my life to have her back, just to hold her into my arms and kiss her. My love for her is eternal and nothing, I say nothing is going to change that of which I feel for her.
I would rather die than to see her get hurt and if I ever hurt her, I would take my own life, I' am nothing without my love, just to be with her or even see her is enough to make me happy, but when I saw her the last time with her beloved husband, I saw that they were already with children. From where I saw her, I saw that she was happy; happy was she with her husband and children.
Her husband is successful and has gained many accomplishments whilst I am but a mere chef, my income is meager and I can barely support myself.
A few years have gone by, the last time I saw her. She was with her children. This time they were already young teenagers and joining their parents in saving the world.
I on the other hand, my life am but a lonely one. At night, I have no one to comfort beside me when I sleep, I have no one to hold and keep warm. No one to share my love, but that one isn't just any one, but my one true love which I crave to be with.
My heart throbs when I think of her. Her radiant beauty, how I wish to hold her, even embrace her but alas! I' am but incomplete without her, even a touch from her is enough to make my heart soar with happiness.
When I' am at home in my house, I' am alone; no one to talk to, no one to laugh with or to share good times with either. When I eat, I do not have her to sit next to me and enjoy the meal I share with her. How I wish to be with her, how I wish to kiss her, embrace her and how I wish to marry her and have children of our own. That would be ever so wonderful.
But that is just fantasy, this is real life and in reality, there is pain, but I have gotten used to the pain and I hide it.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I see that I grow pale and I grow even paler each day, but I hide it through false smiles and laughter. I do not know what happiness is any more. My mind is clouded, with thoughts ever so disturbing and sorrowful.
One day, I felt a great pain within me. I thought it was but mere emotions so I ignored it for a time, but one day I coughed and choked; I held my hand on my mouth and when I looked at it, I found that it was partly covered in red, several months later my condition grew worse
With that I knew that my time drew near, I laid down in my bed preparing for my departure, and I grew weaker by the minute, and by the second. But I didn't care; I would be leaving my love one; happy and joyful with her family.
I did not inform anyone about this; I locked the door in order to keep any one from entering. I want my death to be a secret, but come to think of it; no one would really care about me.
As the pain in my heart worsened, I slowly made my way for the drawer next to me, and I opened it only to take out a picture of me and the woman I love when we were children, those were such wonderful days…but alas; they are gone.
I smiled tenderly as I could at the picture, how I missed those days when everything was so simple, but those days are over. A shot of pain soon approached my heart again and I quickly grabbed my chest, the pain was unbearable, but at least it was a sign that my pain would end soon.
My breathing soon grew thin, and my body ever weaker. My time was almost approaching. As I felt that my mind was slowly drifting away from my body, I let out a smile; only to let people know when they see my body that I died happy and that they should never be afraid of death.
As my eyes slowly closed and darkness was slowly surrounding my sight, in a weak voice I uttered my last words, these were.
"Kim…I love you,"
Please read and review, this is my second Kim Possible fanfic.