Disclaimer: Well, here we are. The beginning of the second installment of Pirates Hilariousity the SEQUEL! The story begins right where the first left off. Vicki starts off the fic in her point of view. All chapters with her as the main character are of course written by her, all the ones with Rachel are written by me. And something new, Jack has his own pov in this fic this time around! Now remember, we are eighteen, so technically if anyone in the story does a little somethin' somethin' it's all on the up and up and totally legal. I'll say no more. Enjoy!
"Will. Ouch, that's my foot."
"No – no that's still my foot. Ow! Crap, you're pushing me against the vacuum cleaner!"
"What's a vacuum cleaner?" Will asked two seconds before I threw the closet door open and stepped out, while smoothing my hair.
"Perhaps we'd better have a little chat first." I pulled Will out behind me and we moved towards the kitchen. Rachel was sitting on the counter; one leg propped up, the other dangling off the edge. She was calmly eating grapes and humming to herself as Jack pushed buttons on the microwave, jumping back at every beep. I stood beside him, amused at his own amusement. I allowed the beeping to go on for awhile before I grabbed his hand and stilled it.
"Jack! It's ok! Just let it go!"
"Wha' the bloody 'ell is tha'?"
"It's just a microwave." I said. Then, noticing his confusion, added, "You use it to heat up food after it's been in the refrigerator."
"Oh boy…we've got out work cut out for us." I muttered. Rachel jumped off the counter and handed Jack a grape. He eyed it and then popped it in his mouth.
"So. It appears that what happened to us has now happened to you." Rachel said tapping her chin reflectively.
"No shit Sherlock." I mused, "The only thing is, we learned in class what their time was like, we've seen the movie. We knew what to expect. But they have no idea where they are, what year it is…"
"What year is it, Victoria? 1800? 1850?" Will asked me. I looked at Rachel.
"2004." We answered him in sync. Both his and Jack's jaws dropped.
"2004! 2004!" Jack cried. I nodded.
"Yes. 2004. As in the 21st century. A lot has changed since your days, boys. A LOT!"
"And where are we?" Will asked.
"Virginia." Rachel answered him.
"Not in the Caribbean? Bloody Bollocks, I'm lost. I want me mum." Jack whimpered. It really was slightly pathetic.
"At least we've heard of Virginia…I think. Is this the Virginia in the Americas?" Will questioned me. Rachel nodded yes.
"Well that is a relief, I must say. I was worried we were in Songhai or some such."
"Uh, Will? Songhai doesn't really exist anymore." Rachel told him. Will narrowed his brow and sunk to the tile floor, which he looked at questioningly. I went to comfort him.
"Rachel, grab a map, will ya?"
"Where? It's not like I spend all my free time studying geography! I don't own a map!"
"Well find your World Civilizations text book!" I told her. She ran to her room and quickly returned, holding the big blue and purple book in her arms. She opened to the back and flipped through the pages till she found a U.S. map.
"Ok boys, geography lesson! See, this is Virginia." She said pointing to our home state, "It's changed a bit since the 1700's. Slavery is no longer legal and there's a lot less tobacco farms." She flipped the pages to a South America map, "Now here's the Caribbean." She said, pointing to the small islands. "I don't think the names or land has changed that much. And yes Jack, there's still rum flowing in large amounts."
"Well, what are all these other places?" Jack asked, running his finger over the other, more westernly states.
"Ok. Virginia is now called a state. And those are other states. There's fifty of them." I told him. More blank stares. Rachel and I sighed; this was going to take awhile.
Over the next hour Rachel and I briefed (ha ha briefs) our boys on the world today; summed up the wars, and told them the basic things.
"There's another thing, Jack." I said solemnly. I wasn't looking forward to this.
"What? What now? Oh god, just shoot me, it's goin' ta be terrible!"
"Um…how do I say this…uh, Jack…pirates don't really…exist either…anymore." I braced for the blow.
"Ha! Tha's hilarious! Yer quite funny when ye try Miss Victoria. Try more often from now on."
"I'm serious, Jack. They don't. You see after the privateers were disbanded, and navy punishment was made harder, and naval and weaponry technology was made better and more refined, pirating was just, not possible anymore." Again I winced, and with a few seconds of dreaded realization, the blow came.
"WHA'! 'ow could tha 'appen? Piracy is the only steadfast an' true thing tha' is in this bloody world! Ye, Miss Victoria, are surely, for lack of a better word, BANANAS!" He then stormed off into the bathroom and slammed the door.
"What a baby." I said, shaking my head.
"It was a rough blow, Victoria. I myself am a little taken back by the information." Will murmured. Rachel was quickly getting to her feet.
"He better not get my bathroom all dirty!" She cried, running toward the distant crying noises coming from a very upset Jack.
"How did you do it? How did you fit so well in a world, a time, that was not your own? How were you not utterly confused?" Will asked me quietly.
"Like I said, we studied the 1700's in school; I've even studied piracy through books. But you and Jack know nothing of the future, you couldn't have studied it. And," I said leaning forward and giving Will a small kiss on the forehead, "I had," one on the left cheek, "you," one on the right, "there with me." My lips brushed against his.
"And I have you with me. I shall be alright." He smiled.
"JACK, GET OUT OF MY LOO!" Rachel screamed at the door. Will jumped up and helped me off the floor, then we ran to join Rachel.
"Jack! Get out here; stop acting like the world has come to an end! You'll like the 21st century! Didn't Rachel tell you about bikinis?" I cried. Suddenly, Jack opened the door and after pushing us all away, ran behind us, up and stairs and into…
"Uh-oh…my room…" Rachel said. She sprinted up the stairs, Will and I following.
"Jack! JACK! You can't go in there! Please, I'm begging you, Jack. Don't!" But it was too late. She made it to the doorway before stopping dead in her tracks. Will and I peered in behind her.
"Tha's interestin'…" Jack said while lying on her bed and staring at the huge poster of…him.
"Oh boy. Jack, um, I can explain." Rachel said, stepping into the room.
"Well…I'm a bit aroused ta be sure. An' I'm pleased with 'ow devilishly sexy I look. An' rugged, did I mention rugged? Wha' a 'andsome chap tha' Sparrow is." Jack mused.
"Jack…this is my…magic mirror. Yes, that's it, magic mirror! Remember how I told you I could tell the future, well…this is how. I knew I was going to meet you. And so I did."
"Well, I'm in the future now…so…does tha' mean the picture will go away?" He seemed somewhat saddened by this news.
"Oh no. It'll stay for awhile."
"Oh, good." Jack smiled, leaning back on the bed.
"Ah, Vicki? Can I see you alone, please?" Rachel asked me. She swiftly grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her mother's room across the hall. She firmly shut the door behind her.
"JACK SPARROW IS ON MY BED!" She cried breathlessly. I smiled.
"Yes, Rachel. He is. And you are in here with me. WHY?" I said, shaking her.
"Hey, just cause you and William have already fornicated in my closet…"
"He was on my bloomin' foot! Nothing happened, Rachel!" She glared at me suspiciously before opening the door and moving back out into the hall.
"Jack, outta my room. IT'S OFF LIMITS!" Rachel said, grabbing him by the dreads and pulling him out. I looked for Will, but he was nowhere to be found.
"Where's Will, Jack?" I questioned him.
"He went downstairs when ye were in the other room…can I go in tha' one?" Jack asked.
"No." I answered for Rachel, "Where downstairs?" I asked Jack again. He shrugged, massaging his head from Rachel's sharp pull.
"Oh great…a Turner's on the loose. Hunting season is now officially open."
Once again we were all running down the stairs in time. Geez, it hasn't even been a week with them and already I must have lost five pounds. Every day was a workout. I ran into the living room, no Will. Rachel searched the bathroom and computer room, not there either. The kitchen was empty and for a split second I thought maybe he'd gotten sucked back into the TV, but just then I noticed some movement outside, and so I opened the glass doors and stepped outside into the cool night. Will was standing in front of me, looking up at the sky. I walked over to him, the grass tickling my bare feet.
"I was just making sure it was the same moon, same stars." He said, his gaze stuck to the dark sky. I smiled, putting my arms around him.
"Of course it is. It's the same Earth. The Caribbean is not so far away from us." Will finally looked at me, noticing my small shivers and taking my hand, he led me inside.
"What were you doing out there?" Rachel asked as we re-entered the house.
"Nothing…he was just getting a breath of air." I smiled, answering for him.
"Well, we can't have you two running off. Not until we've cleaned you up a bit and given you some proper clothes." Rachel said. She opened the door to the fridge and took out four Diet Cherry Cokes. She threw one to me and then offered one to Jack.
"Wha' is tha'?" He asked, eyeing it with concern, as if it were a grenade that would explode at any moment.
"It's a drink. Here," she said, handing Jack one and then opening one for herself, "you pop the tab and drink from the opening." Jack hesitated but slowly pulled back the tab…just moments before it exploded in his face. Huh, guess it was a grenade.
"Bloody 'ell!" Jack cried, prancing about like an idiot.
"Rachel forgot to mention that it's carbonated which means it has lots of little bubbles that can explode under pressure. It's like how beer foams, except bigger."
"Thank you, Ms. Science." Rachel said sarcastically. I opened mine and handed it to Will. He took it, sniffed it, and then, with the slowest motion possible, took a sip. The second the liquid touched his throat he began to cough.
"Geez, Will. It's not like we're smoking doobies or anything!" Rachel laughed. I socked her in the arm.
"Whoo…that's some strong stuff. Does this have liquor in it?" Will asked, regaining control. I turned to Rachel as we both tried to stifle our laughs. I mean I loved the guy, but come on, liquor in soda? Oh, wait, coke and rum…never mind.
"No, Will. It's called soda; it's the drink of choice for people our age." Rachel answered.
"An' wha' exactly is yer age, Missy. Not sure I know." Jack said. I gulped, hoping that it wouldn't turn out that Will was like 25 or something.
"Age…what a meaningless word. Besides Jack, do you want people to know how old you REALLY are? Huh?" I said; I mean Rachel and I were both eighteen it was true but, things could get iffy if we brought silly mathematical problems into this entire shebang. I thought things would go better if I tried weaseling out the discussion. It worked as Jack smiled, showing off the gold in his mouth.
"Righ' y'are, lass. Righ' y'are."
I yawned and looked at my watch. Oh, shit…11:30! Rachel's mom would be home any minute!
"Rachel we need to hide them now!" I cried, tugging on her sleeve. She grabbed Jack and pushed him towards the stairs while I took Will's hand and followed. We ran up the stairs into Rachel's room.
("I thought ye said it was off-limits?") And as soon as we all were in, I shut the door behind me.
"Ok, now it's time for us to play the quiet game. First person to talk has to wear a pink dress AND corset for…er…forever!" I said. Jack looked horrified, Will looked perplexed, and Rachel and I just huddled ourselves near the door. Sure enough we heard the front door creak as it opened downstairs and Rachel's mom's footsteps echoed throughout the house.