Well gentlemen and germs here endeth PH2, but fear not we shall return and bring forth much more hilariousity in about a week or so. So please, relax, sit back, wear a smoking jacket AND A BIB and take on board the genius that is Vicki Fraser and Rachel Hobbes in the last chapter of this wonderful sequel. Everything in this chapter was written by Vicki, save for Rachel's POV which was written by said POV.

"You're kidding me, right?" You have got to be blooming out of your mind! You've had it the whole time!" How on Earth had she kept this from us? Part of me was angry at her for not telling me while the other part quickly realized this meant the boys had to go back.

"Well, we've got our little trinket, I 'spose we'll be off now, eh?" Jack cut in suddenly, decidedly more upbeat than myself.

"How exactly DO we get back?" Will asked. I looked at Rachel, who shrugged and sat down.

"I don't know…we never planned on you coming here in the first place, nor us going there. It just…happened." Rachel offered.

"Well let's at least go inside and have a look at the demon spawn, perhaps he'll learn to talk and tell us how." I said, leading the way back into Rachel's house.

We must have stared at that thing for hours; Jack even took to screaming curses at it, to which it screeched loudly back. And then, I though of something.

"Ok…think for a moment…how did we get back last time?" Everyone stared at each other, then at the monkey, who was staring at his bum. I rolled my eyes. Sharp as a tack this lot!

"WE RESOLVED! All that we messed up or started there, we fixed and brought to a close! We helped Jack get the Pearl back-"

"Well, ta be quite honest ye really only lay about on deck and annoyed me-" Jack interrupted.

"BUT STILL, you got it back, and as for Will…well, I'm not sure what we helped you with considering I actually kinda messed up the whole plot, but maybe we helped you lighten up a bit?" I said, nudging him.

"Ok…resolution…I guess that's you and me, Jack." Rachel rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him up. Jack twisted out of her grip and ran to me, clutching my shoulders.

"Please help me, save me! I don't want ta be resolved!" He pleaded, but Rachel quickly found him again and dragged his screaming body away.

I turned back to Will, but was unable to look and in the eye

"You know what you have to do right? " I asked him, looking down at my lap and wringing my hands.

"I have to go back…" He said quietly.

"Will…you have to go back…and marry Elizabeth." I corrected him. His brow furrowed in a questioning look.

"Victoria, what…why are you saying this?"

I shook my head, "You know this could never work. We both knew that from the start. When we met I was something new…and while I don't doubt that there is true honest love between us, can you really say that you don't still love Elizabeth?" it might have been the hardest thing I ever said, but I knew it was right, and good, and hell…I could spare doing the right thing for once in my life.

"Well I suppose I…growing up we always…" He shook his head and started over, "when you came, Victoria, so many things changed. It's hard to understand it all."

"I know, but Will…think about it. We live in completely different worlds, let alone centuries. Who do you see yourself getting old with?" I was holding back tears; if I cried he'd stop listening to me. I waited for him to speak, but he simply opened his mouth slightly, letting out a sigh. And I knew…he understood me. As much as it might hurt us both, we knew it was right.

"I'll always love you…some part of me. Forever." I spoke, moving my hand to his arm and clutching it gently.

"And I you." He replied, placing his hand over mine.


Vicki had figured out the last ingredient in sending the fellas back. It was closure. Well, Jack and I had already discussed ours…you know…devoid of me telling the truth.

The truth was I had some certain feelings pertaining to…


I couldn't even mutter the truth in my own mind let alone out loud because to do so would in fact…make it all too real. And well making it real was out of the question, so I might as well not even say it. Not telling was an omission, which was more like a lie, which made me a low down dirty deceiver, which made me in a word and one word only:

A Pirate.

I couldn't help feeling some sense of pride in that description. Especially when it was applied to me.

So I simply stood there and did nothing. Said nothing. Where in our last parting I couldn't shut up, now I couldn't find my voice. Oh, don't believe for one second that I didn't have something, several somethings to fill his ear with. I did. Just nothing that would have been of any importance to him.

So I stayed silent. And said not a word.

Not until he commandeered my attention by stepping forward

"So…this is goodbye, eh?" He leaned forward as if trying to see my eyes. They were fastened to the floor, by the way. My head snapped up.

"Goodbye." I don't know if I meant for there to be no feeling in the word, but there wasn't, "See ya later."

That stilled him.

A dark brow rose, "Are ye certain?"

He was mocking me, I could tell. That was who Sparrow was.

I sighed in annoyance, and maybe some slight anger. How dare he be this blind still after all this time! "I have no talent for certain, Jack."

He nodded as if it were enough and turned to go.


He stopped.

Fuck my ASS! I couldn't just hold my tongue, could I?

"We…" I played with my hands to have something to do, "We…forgive each other then? We're…we're okay, right?" I don't know why I needed to know we were, just that I did. Just to be sure.

He turned, his eyes flicked quickly.

"Aye," He murmured.

I nodded in relief, "Goodbye."

He blinked, "Goodbye."

And that was it. There could not have been a less romantically charged ending between two people. But it was enough.

Jack and Rachel met Will and me outside, which was strangely calm and quiet, save for a slight breeze and the single solemn note of a mourning dove. Appropriate, I thought.

Rachel held the coin and I clutched the cage containing Jack the Monkey. We stood in front of our boys, Rachel forcibly stoic, myself choking back tears. I handed Jack the cage which he held in front of himself at a distance, his characteristic look of disgust gracing his face.

My eyes finally met Will's as Rachel handed him the shining gold coin. A moment later a tiny hand reached out from within its cage and took the coin, letting out a jubilant screech at his conquest.

"Well girls, it's been a laugh, but I miss me Pearl and so I take my leave." And then, right on cue and after a final "Ta!", Jack's form shimmered…and a second later her was gone. I saw Rachel look away, unable to look on the spot Jack previously occupied.

"Victoria…" I heard Will whisper, and my attention snapped back to him. He leaned forward and took my face in his hands. I closed my eyes to receive his last kiss, but felt nothing. When I opened them he was gone…back to his home.

"Well…" said Rachel, "that's that I 'spose." I nodded.

"Jack was right, we did have a laugh." I replied. Rachel smiled and put her arm around my shoulder. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and we made our way back to the house.

Life went on, as life generally does. Suns and moons in their orbits, time and tides, the ebb and flow. It all happened as it should have. With it's good times and bad alike, until two years had passed, it's triumphs and failures all rolled up into one afternoon sometime in the spring of 2006. And a new trailer was out.

We watched the trailer in wonder, our mouths agape. After the last drum sounded and the screen went blank we turned to each other:

"Holy sh-"