Neal 'hmphed' and slumped as low as one could possibly slump while perched on such an uncomfortable bench. How dare they laugh at his expense!
His three "friends" were still chortling over his "Lady May Fiasco" as Domitan had so eloquently stated it only moments ago. He had to think of a more embarrassing tale from one of their pasts to clear his name. And quickly.
Kel was on the verge of tears when Neal cried out, "Well Merric had a horribly graphic dream about dear Keladry here and then proceeded to have a squire's crush on her!"
Everyone went silent at Neal's sudden outburst, and when the color drained from Merric's face and had almost swallowed a fly, Neal smiled smugly and tousled his hair. "Ha."
Kel turned her head very slowly to Merric, "Seriously?" she whispered. And Merric, whose mouth was still hanging open, nodded his head ever so slightly.
Dom, knowing that this was a horribly awkward situation for everyone but the annoying Meathead, cleared his throat and added, "And I know for a fact that Meathead here had a crush on Kel during their Page years."
Neal didn't absorb Dom's latest comment until Kel turned her head towards him, her mouth open in shock and her eyebrows lost amongst her bangs. "You did?"
Neal was confused, "Did what?"
Dom ignored his cousin and with the smallest of smiles playing on his lips added, "Wrote so in his letters to me. Wouldn't be surprised if he'd written poems about your jousting skills."
Neal finally comprehended what Dom was saying and slamming his fist on the table yelled, "I didn't have a crush on Kel! I only said I MISSED her during our squire years because I barely saw her and she was my best friend!" He sat plopped down in a heap, his head in his hands. "Gods!"
Everyone was silent (aside from Neal's incoherent mutterings) for a moment, not really knowing how to address such an overall awkward situation.
"Well," Merric started coughing, "seems as though Kel has unknowingly had quite a few admirers."
Kel continued to stare blankly at the center of the table, "Apparently."
Dom, finally finding his voice, tried to coax Kel out of her apparent discomfort and possible coma-like silence. "And I'm sure she still has plenty."
That sly comment seemed to do the trick as Kel finally looked up again wearing a wry smile, her left eyebrow cocked as she dryly responded, "Of course! Can't you see my potential suitors lining up to ask for my hand in marriage?"
Dom, slightly embarrassed and offended, opened his mouth to respond, but Kel raised her right palm to call for silence. "No, you don't, Sergeant Domitan. And you know why?" She shook her head, "No, don't try to retract what you said or make an excuse, it doesn't matter. This is a ridiculous discussion and needs to go on no further. So before everyone starts to debate, let's just forget this ever happened."
"Wow, Kel. Didn't know you knew so many laaaarge words to sprinkle such an eloquent monologue with."
Neal was silenced with a slap up the side of his head from both Dom and Merric.
"You never know when to shut up, do you, Meathead?"
A/N: I know, I didn't think I'd resurrect any Tortall fics myself, but hey! I started reading my KD story, "She Will Be Loved" and thought, "wow, this sucks." So I read my one-shots and thought, "Meh, I could go with these when I'm bored." So, I went. So, how is this besides random and short? Maybe I'll have more later on? Perhaps a confrontation between Kel and Dom? Maybe just some more random storytelling? I don't even know yet...But if you want to read a totally random Harry Potter fic about the Weasley Twins and a Veronica Mars-esque character, check out Verdegrises by Tate Dean, aka my other fanfic penname for Harry Potter fics that I read. Check it outttttt! (I don't update it tooo often, but there's like 6 chapters? I think?)