A/N: I'm terrible at updating this story, but I just don't write fanfiction that frequently anymore and I'm really busy. Also I don't feel like as many people read this as they used to. Anyway, please review and I'm sorry for the extremely late update!

Also: Whoever wrote that anonymous review about Draco singing Beat It… Wow you freaked the crap out of me. You'll find out why I guess…

Disclaimer: I don't own any songs or characters or locations. I don't own much, really.

IMPORTANT: How on earth do you make a big line go through the page? Because the only page break that actually shows up when I upload the story is a bunch of zeros, and that looks weird. So please tell me if you know any other ways to break up the sections…

The next day was a Saturday, and Ron decided to take a trip into Hogsmeade. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anybody, after his Beatle outburst the day before expressing his immense distaste toward Draco and Hermione's relationship. He didn't even want to be close enough to see that girl as a dot in the distance, that's how angry he was. Don't get him started on Draco.

He sat down dramatically at the bar at the Three Broomsticks and ordered a butterbeer. He could feel someone standing next to him. He peered over his shoulder. It was Lavender.

"Hi, Ron," she said timidly.

"Hi, Lavender."

She sat down cautiously on the stool next to his. "I heard about your outburst yesterday on the Quidditch pitch."

Ron took a long gulp of his butterbeer and then slapped it down on the table, letting it slosh onto his hand. He nodded, wiping his chin with his dry hand.

"So, um… Do you really feel that way about Hermione?"

He shrugged. "This spell can make you do some crazy things."

"I know that." She shook her head. "Believe me, I know that."

Ron thought for a second. What better way would there be to get back at Hermione than to get back together with Lavender? It showed that not only was he over her, he liked someone as annoying as Lavender more than he liked her. And that he was mature enough to realize the error in his ways in his intial breakup with Lavender, and now could come to the intelligent conclusion that they were meant to be.

The spell really could make one think insanely.

"You know what Lavender? If you can find it in your kind heart to forgive me, I'd love to go out with you again."

Her face instantly lit up. Her eyes welled up with tears. "I've been hoping everyday since you sang that song to me that you'd want me back again." She leaned over, falling onto Ron for a tight hug.

"Well, I've realized the error of my ways," he said to her. "I missed you, Lavender."

"Oh, I missed you, too, Ron. I missed you, too."

Little did anyone know, a similar situation was occuring far off in the depths of Hogwarts castle. In the kitchens, to be exact. Ginny was sampling the thousands of chocolates the house elves had prepared for her. She had a few months previous developed a very tight friendship with Dobby, who was working in the kitchens. She visited him regularly, and the house elves often cooked up special treats for her. To go with the theme of relationship problems, they had made her a wide variety of chocolates.

Harry, meanwhile, was wandering aimlessly through the castle, looking how he felt was thoroughly for Ginny. He finally came upon Luna Lovegood.

"Luna!" he cried, spotting her at the other end of a long hallway.

"Harry!" she cried back, thinking they were playing some sort of echo game. "That didn't make a very good echo…"

Harry jogged down the hall to catch up with her. "Luna. Have you seen Ginny?"

"She's probably in the kitchens," Luna told him.

"The kitchens? Why the kitchens?"

"She's become rather good friends with some house elf down there, and she goes there all the time. All you have to do is walk all the way downstairs and find—"

"I know how to get there. Do you perchance know the password?"

"I know every password in the building. It's SexyBack—oh wait, no that was last week's. It's… hmm… Oh, it's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Actually, it might be R-E-S-P-E-C-T. But you actually have to say each letter. Wait, it's R-E-S-P-E-C-T or U-G-L-Y. It might be Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, though. Or it might be some other name, like Cassandra in the Sky with Diamonds. Just try a variation of one of those—"

"Thanks, Luna." With that, Harry disappeared off down the corridor and made his way down to the kitchens. He stopped in front of the familiar painting. He felt kind of silly. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," he said slowly, making sure he spelled the word right. No response. "U-G-L-Y?" Once again, no response. The subjects of the painting stood eerily still. "Uh… Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." Nothing. "Cassandra in the Sky with Diamonds…?" This was getting a bit ridiculous. "Ginny in the Sky with Diamonds?" The portrait swung open with a bit of a "twang" noise and Harry hopped inside. He found himself standing before a slightly familiar room—he'd been there a few times before—full of row upon row of tables with sinks and stoves and ovens and dishwashers and everything imaginable in a kitchen. Off in the opposite corner he spotted Ginny, stuffing her face with what seemed to be chocolates taken from a huge assortment laid out on a wooden table in front of her. He started running clumsily through the kitchen, darting around house elves carrying trays of hot food and cauldrons of boiling water as he did so. "Ginny!" he cried. "Ginny!"

She looked up, startled. Her face lit up at the sight of him. "Harry!" She jumped up from her seat, only to sit down a few moments later, as though realizing what she had just done.

He approached the table she sat at. "Ginny. I'm really sorry for the way I treated you."

She shrugged, focusing her gaze on a particularly delightful-looking truffle.

"Can you please, please forgive me?"

She sighed dramatically. "Perhaps."

He frowned. "Fine, then. I'll go find someone else. I wonder if Luna's still checking out the echo in that hallway…" He turned around, starting to walk off in the opposite direction. But he hadn't even taken a step before Ginny leapt up once more.

"Wait!" she shrieked.

He turned around.

"Wait. Okay, maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you. I understand that you're a prick, but if you're genuinely sorry… Then, I want you back."

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat—yippee!" Harry cried, a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' out to the high hills. He let out a little jump.

"Besides, it didn't really even bother me that much when you broke up with me, anyway."

Harry shrugged. Whatever.

Now all the old couples were back together again, and they couldn't be happier. They all convened in the Great Hall later that day, purely by accident. They kind of clumped together like some obnoxious group from 90210 or The OC or something like that. Anyway, it wasn't too long before the music started playing. This time it was some electronically created type of organ with a heavy fake drum in the background. It was kind of hard to tell what it was. All the boys gravitated toward the center of the room, where everyone had reflexively cleared out of.

There was a really long intro to this song. It caused them all to go "Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh," too many times. Not only were our main four singing this part, but the girls were as well—the guys needed dancing partners, for the crazy ballroom dancing they were about to burst into in a few choruses—and even some background dancers who were recruited simply by being in the vicinity. They all were dancing deftly choreographed dance moves. No ballroom dancing just yet. "Awoooooooo!" they all cried, like they were wolves.

"Everybody," Ron finally sang, raising his head toward the heavens. The background dancers had cleared off to the sides of the hall. "Rock your body. Everybody. Rock your body right."

"Backstreet's back, alright!" sang Ron, Draco, Harry, and Blaise all together.

They danced kind of like they wanted to be Michael Jackson, a bit.

"Hey. Oh," sang Harry. "Oh my God, we're back again. Brothers, sisters, everybody sing. We're gonna bring the flavor, show you how. Got a question for you, better answer now. Yeah."

"Am I original?" Draco began.

"Yeah," replied the other three.

"Am I the only one?" asked Ron.


"Am I sexual?" came from Draco.


"Am I everything you need? You better rock your body now," sang Ron.

"Everybody. Yeah. Rock your body. Yeah. Everybody. Rock your body right. Backstreet's back, alright!" came from all four guys.

"What's 'backstreet'?" Seamus asked Dean curiously, from his spot on the side of the room. They were about to be summoned my an unknown force—the spell—to do some sweet, kick-ass background moves.

Dean shook his head. "I'm not going to attempt to explain the nineties."


"Now throw your hands up in the air," was Blaise's part. "Wave 'em around like you just don't care."

"Woo!" sang all girls in the background.

"If you want to party let me hear you yell."


"Cause we got it going on again."

"Yeah, yea-ea-eah!" sang Ron.

"Am I original?" asked Draco.

"Yeah," all four replied.

"Am I the only one?" sang Ron.


"Am I sexual?" sang Draco, once more.


"Am I everything you need? You better rock your body now," came from Ron.

"Everybody. Yeah. Rock your body. Yeah. Everybody. Rock your body right. Backstreet's back, alright! Alright!"

"Yeah… oh… yeah… oh… girl, you don't call," sang Harry.

The music now was just a steady, computer-generated drumbeat and some other random amplified noises. All the extras sang their "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh"s and their "Awooo!"s. The ballroom dancing commenced. It was fantastic.

"Everybody. Yeah. Rock your body. Yeah. Everybody. Rock your body right."

"Rock your body right!" sang Blaise.

"Backstreet's back—Everybody."

"Everybody," sang Harry in the background. "Rock your body."

"Yeah. Rock your body."

"Everybody!" sang Harry. "Everybody rock your body."

"Yeah. Everybody."

"—Everybody! Rock your body!"

"Rock your body right."


"Backstreet's back, alright!" sang all four guys together in an echoing finale.

"Oh, I'm so happy the gang's all together again!" cooed Lavender, once the singing and ballroom dancing finished.

Even though they seemed like happy, jolly, haunted mansion buddies when they sang super nineties songs and ballroom danced together, deep inside, many of these boys still had hidden, resentful emotions welling up inside them. Draco, in particular, had lots of these emotions. He felt, however, that he couldn't express these emotions to anyone because they were all supposed to be friends again. Not that he ever was particularly good friends with Ron to begin with.

But that was beside the point. The point was that he wanted to be a peace keeper and it was very difficult given his raging emotions.

"Yo, broa, what's wrong?" Blaise asked Draco, whacking him on the shoulder as his blonde friend slumped glumly on a sticky, leather Slytherin couch.

Draco shrugged.

Blaise sat down next to him. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily. Seriously, I can tell that something's wrong. What is it?"

Draco took a deep breath. "I don't want to mess up this peaceful semi-treaty that we have between the houses by instigating some other song fight."

"You know that no matter what it is, it's going to come out eventually. So why don't you tell me so I can be prepared to sing backup vocals?"

Draco flared his nostrils. "Fine," he relented. "I'm still really pissed off for that stupid song Ron sang to me the other day. About me losing Hermione if I don't treat her right." He punched his palm with his fist. "I mean, what does that bitch think he knows about Hermione and my relationship? I treat her GREAT, and what does he think he can accoplish by bitching and moaning to me via some stupid pop song?"

"Damn straight," Blaise said, offering his fist up for a pound against Draco's.

The real drama, though, didn't go down until the next day, in Hogsmeade. It was a nice, brisk, snowy day, and most of the Hogwarts student body who had the option headed down to Hogsmeade. Draco did his best to hang out with just his Slytherin friends, telling Hermione he needed some time to catch up with the guys. She acted like she understood, although he could tell it made her sad. Unfortunately, when the Slytherin crew—Draco, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe, and Goyle—was chilling in an alleyway around mid-afternoon, the Gryffindor crew—Ron, Harry, Dean, Seamus, and Neville—happened to show up to the wrong place at the wrong time.

"What are you doing here?" Blaise asked, how he hoped was kindly. He tried to suggest with his face that it would be wise for them to leave.

"It's a free alleyway," Ron retorted.

"Oh God…" Blaise grumbled.

Suddenly what sounded like a synthesized gong rang throughout the streets of Hogsmeade. Everyone knew what that meant. A song/house fight! Soon the crowd was gignormous, and the lyrics hadn't even begun to come from Draco's mouth yet. All that was playing was some sweet guitar.

"They told him, don't you ever come around here!" sang Draco, finally, stepping into the center of the narrow street. "Don't want to see your face—you better disappear. The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear so beat it."

"Just beat it," sang the five as a group.

He took a wary but confident step forward. "You better run, you better do what you can. Don't want to see no blood, don't be a macho man. You wanna be tough, better do what you can, so beat it. But you wanna be bad, just beat it!"

"Beat it!" sang the background vocals—the other four Slytherin boys.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" they all sang together. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"Just beat it."

"Beat it."

"Just beat it."

"Beat it."

"Just beat it."

"Beat it."

"UGHH!" grunted Crabbe.

"They're out to get you, better leave while you can," sang Draco, on his own again. He busted some moves in the middle of the snowy alley. "Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man. You wanna stay alive, better do what you can, so beat it."

"Just beat it," they sang together.

"You have to show them that you're really not scared. You're playing with your life, this ain't no truth or dare. They'll kick you then they beat you, then they'll tell you it's fair. So beat it. But you wanna be bad! Just beat it!"

"Beat it!" came from the backup singers.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" they all sang together again. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"Beat it."

"Beat it."

"No one wants to be defeated! Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it (beat it, beat it)," came Draco, his voice echoing.

The guitar grunted away and the "gong" sounded a few times.

"Beat it, beat it."

Gong, gong.

"Beat it, beat it. Beat it, beat it."

Guitar. Guitar and gong. A new guitar.

Finally. "Beat it!" sang Draco.

"Beat it!" sang the background vocals—the other four Slytherin boys.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" they all sang together. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Who's right—Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" the four sang as Draco squealed in the background. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"No one wants to be defeated. Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated. Showin' how funky strong is your fight, it doesn't matter who's wrong or right." The song began fading into the frosty air.

The boys were finally finished.

Draco grunted. "WHAT?" he said, snapping forward at the Gryffindor boys.

"Whoa, there, calm down." Blaise gently pulled his friend out of the center of attention and the Slytherins walked off.

The Gryffindors were left, completely puzzled, in the frigid air.

A/N: I'm not sure of two things: 1. If the ordinarily would have school on Saturdays. Well, the school's gone down the toilet anyway. 2. How to get to the kitchens. I remember tickling a pear painting and a knight in shining armor statue, but I really have no idea what I'm talking about. Help would be greatly appreciated. There's this part in Backstreet's Back where one of them is singing but it's like fading into the bridge, or something, and I can't really tell what he's saying. So I kind of just made it up. And yes, I did copy the Backstreet's Back video for this little song and dance sequence. It's awesomely great and nineties.