Disclaimer: Don't own no Crystal Chronicles, nope, just don't!

GothGurl: Eesh, well, one of my friends forgot to force me to update my GTA fic, so I ended up being distracted by inspiration from a different video game...Crystal Chronicles! THE most under-rated Final Fantasy game ever! But whatever. Like everyone else who's writing in this section, I'm using my own characters from my game, but no problem right? This is just an amusing little one-shot anyway. So, enjoy! On with the story!

"Mikau-kun, I'm bored."

Mikau knew Harvey was bored, as Harvey had said so many, many times already in the past half-hour, and frankly, he was getting tired of it. The dark haired clavat rolled his eyes and turned away from his annoying selkie friend, cradling the chalice in his arms. The both of them were sitting in the front seats of a stationary caravan, the suns high point in the sky indicating that it was mid-day.

"So I've heard."

Harvey pouted and played with a strand of his spiked-up green hair (the only strand that wasn't drowning in hair potions and gells, Harvey had a thing about his hair; the pointier the better), "When is Toke gonna get back? He's more interesting than you."

Mikau snorted, "Sticking pebbles up your nose and seeing who can shoot them the farthest is interesting to you?"

The selkie gave him a confused look, "Yes, whats wrong with that?"

The clavat blinked, apparently stunned. He would NEVER understand selkies, but then again, even other selkies didn't understand Harvey. "Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?"

"Yes! But how did you--?"

The clavat slapped his own forehead with a flourish "Remind me again how I got stuck on guard duty with you!" he mumbled.

"Everybody else left!"


"But actually, the pebble thing is a lot harder then it looks, I could show you how.."

" I am NOT sticking freakin' ROCKS up my nose okay!"

Harvey pouted again, looking quite sulky. There was a silence as the two teen boys stared out at the dirt road.



"I'm bored."

Mikau gritted his teeth together. The rest of the caravan would PAY for this. "Then let me guard by myself and go find Toke! Then you can stick whatever you like up your nose, then will you be happy?"

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Harvey's head.

"Well, I would," he said with an air of resignation. "But he's gone off with the Caravan Leader to find materiels from the monsters around here, and he's no fun when he's working. Besides, with the Boss around its not like you can exactly goof off ..."

Mikau had to agree with that; Their Caravan Leader was scary, but he was determined to get rid of the pointy haired annoyance, and the smell of hair-gel was really starting to bother him "Well, what about the others? The girls, Abby and Kenis and Eris ..."

"THEY'RE goofing off somewhere in the woods. Apparently Kenis found some hot springs this morning and they've all gone to swim and bathe all day, and...whoa, whats up with you, Mikau?"

Harvey was right to question his friends state of mind, for at that moment a big crooked grin appeared on the clavats tanned face, one of the corners of his mouth twitching. His eyes were glazed with a new and wicked idea.

In a suppressed voice, he finally said, "Did you say that they were at a hot spring today, Harvey my friend?"

"Err..yeah, I did but uh ..." Harvey could barely finish his sentence, astonished by the evil chuckle his friend made at this response.

"And did you say, that the girls were going to be swimming and batheing all day?"

"Well yeah but ... ooooooooh ..." The evil perverted grin that all boys seem to inherit the minute they become a teenager spread across his smooth features. "I see ... well, thats something to pass the time , now isn't it?" They both cackled evilly in delight, Harvey hopped off the caravan, his clavatian companion turned and hollered into the hooded part where a sleeping moogle was snoring.

"Oi! Mog! Watch the Caravan for a minute, kay?" he said, tossing the chalice at the furry creature, it woke with a start.

"Wh-what!" But the boys had already left, giggling wickedly. The moogle puffed himslef up indignantly. "Well I never ...! Professional caravaners indeed! I oughta ..." But weariness overtook him once more, and he fell back, snoring before he made contact with the floor, proving that moogles make the worst guards ever.

The boys snuck up to a bush (their portable crystal necklaces that their caravan leader had bought them protected them from the miasma), kneeling on all fours. They could hear splashing and someone talking just beyond, and they grinned at each other, before parting the leaves to peek like the bad, naughty boys they were.

To their disappointment, they couldn't really see much of anything. At least, not anything interesting by their standards. The two clavat females Abby and Eris were deep in conversation, with little cloths of fabric wrapped around them in the water (had they predicted the boys shameful behavior!). Kenis, a wild-haired selkie woman, had tied another one of the same cloths around here and was floating lazilly around on her back in the water. 'Boring' thought the boys.

"Well, thats kind of a let-down." sighed Mikau, rubbing his ear, his eyes closed in exasperation. He felt Harvey poke him hard in the arm and half-turned his head towards him, opening one eye. "What?

Harvey pointed gleefully at some low-hanging bushes, bouncing on the spot. Mikau looked and his lecherous expression returned: All the girls clothes were hanging off those branches.

"Excellent work, my friend!" he whispered to Harvey, high-fiving him as he brushed past. Careful not to make too much noise, lest the girls detect them, he snatched a random pile of garments and armor, and then sprinted away. Behind him, Harvey scooped up the rest and followed. Once they were out of ear-shot they cackled madly and dumped the clothes on the ground.

Mikau kneeled down to examine his pile. "Where we gonna hide these? All the bits seperately or what? Oh, my ..." He picked up a weapon that he had found in Eris' pile amongst the ladies undergarments. It was a small, lethal looking thing. "What's she keeping that THERE for?"

"Where did Kenis get this?" asked Harvey, speaking more to himself then Mikau. He was holding up a selkien fur skirt that was really very pretty, white and much smoother and shinier then Harvey's own ratty dyed-green fur garment. "This is really, really expensive looking fur!" he breathed, in awe.

Mikau snorted, still examining the weapon. "What, jealous 'cause Kenis has a prettier dress then you?"

Harvey's face turned red, making him look rather festive what with his green hair, "I keep telling you! This isn't a dress! Its a TUNIC!"

"Dress! Dress! Harvey wears a dress! Harvey wears a—HEY!" Mikau ducked as one of Abby's boots was flung at him.

"Its a tunic." said the selkie curtly, as though flinging shoes was normal. "And you can't talk. You have poofy pants."

Mikau looked glumbly at his clavatian farming pants, and cringed. There was no comeback for that, his pants WERE poofy.

"Yeah ...OK." he sighed, but quickly brightened. He scooped up the clothes in his arms again. "Lets hide these now! Then we can chase the girls outta the springs, can you imagine their faces!"

"Oh yeah!" They both laughed, and Harvey grabbed random pieces of clothing and flung them into the trees. Mikau followed suit. They ran around that area of the forest, making sure to make all the pieces very high and far apart, cackling.

"Now lets get back to the girls!" grinned the clavat, earning a nod from his partner in crime. They snuck back to the hot springs, crouched again behind the bushes. The girls were still there, they frowned.

"They haven't noticed yet?" whispered Mikau.

"I guess not ..." Harvey looked put-out for a moment, his hair even seemed to wilt slightly.

Mikau nudged him impatiently. "Aw, c'mon pal, its more fun this way right?" he wiggled his gloved fingers and little blue sparks flew about them for a moment, and Harvey glanced at the sapphire ring on middle finger and suddenly grinned impishly.

"I dare you to." he whispered.

"Yup." Mikau turned his attention back to the hot spring. He raised the hand with the ring towards the water and concentrated, waiting till the ring began to glow faintly, and murmered, "Blizzard."

Ice-coloured magic energy hit the water without a ripple, but the effect of Mikau's spell was immediate. The girls suddenly stopped their activities, eyes widening slowly, before they all suddenly shrieked and jumped up, scrambling to get out of the now icy cold water. "COLD! COLD! COLD!" they wailed, running towards the low hanging branches ...

Mikau and Harvey struggled not to burst into laughter.

"Our clothes!" gasped Kenis.

"Where'd they go!" cried out Abby, clutching her face.

"Someone took our clothes!" shouted Kenis, still not able to believe it.

"We have more in our caravan, lets go get them and--" said Eris, slightly more calm.


That did it. Unable to contain themselves any longer, Mikau and Harvey burst into loud, overbearing laughter. When the girls found them behind the bush (carefully covering themselves up before hand) the two males were rolling on the ground shrieking with laughter. To say the least, the girls weren't amused.

"You guys are SO immature." snarled Abby, her short blonde hair dripping.

"This is low, even for you." Kenis was glaring at them from under her wild blue mane, which now hung wetly in her eyes.

Eris just shook her head, soft brown eyes closed and her long braided hair shaking from side-to-side, to disgusted for words, not that Eris spoke much.

Instead of inspiring the boys with guilt, they merely laughed harder. Abby's lip trembled, being the sensitive one.

"You guys are MEAN!" Eris patted her friends shoulder consolingly. Kenis cracked her knuckles.

"All right, nobody's allowed to make Abby cry but me! Any last words?"

The boys ceased laughing, but not because they were scared. Kenis realised a little too late that the cracking of her knuckles had allowed her cloth to slip down from her chest. The boys stared, turning red. Kenis turned red too, and she quickly yanked it back up. "Pretend you didn't see that! And prepare to DIE!"

"I have one thing to say first!" exclaimed Mikau, not looking at all afraid, though he still seemed to be recovering from the 'slip' of Kenis' cloth. "... Is that a spider?" he pointed vaguely at the selkie womans shoulder.

Kenis froze.

Then her face turned white.

Then she screamed.


She ran away, screaming insanely at the top of her lungs. Abby, now that the word 'spider' has registered to her already traumatised-for-the-day brain, started shrieking as well, and ran after her friend, waving her arms madly.

Eris, who had not moved, was staring in disbelief at the girls from afar. She shot the male pair a silent look of disapproval, before following after her companions, hoping to add some sanity to the proceedings.

Harvey blinked, and looked at Mikau, "WAS there a spider?"


They looked at each other, and burst out laughing once more.

They were still laughing heartily as they walked back to the woods where they had left the girls clothes in the trees, deciding to be halfway decent that day and return them. The spider thing was far funnier then the females scrambling up trees for stockings would have been, anyway.

"Hey, look! Its Eris' hat!" said Mikau, after he found it caught on a lower branch. He jammed the thing onto his head, which was too small for him and clung to the top of his head awkwardly. "How do I look?"

"Like a twit!"

"Oh yeah!" Mikau growled and searched the area with his eyes. Finding what he looking for, he snatched Kenis' white fur skirt and held it up to his hips. He struck a feminine pose, "Ooooh, I'm Harvey the ninny selkie boy, and I wear a dress! I feel pretty, oh so pretty!" he pranced around the clearing, repeating the last words in a high, girlish voice.

"TUNIC!" snapped the selkie, ears steaming. His left eye was twitching.

"I FEEL PRETTY!" yelled Mikau, still prancing.

Harvey grabbed Abby's travel pants and held them to his hips like Mikau had done, "Oooh, I'm Mikau, the smelly clavat who can't get a girlfriend. Do these pants make me look fat?" He said this in a very fake farm-man drawl.

"Stop making fun of my pants!" said Mikau, cursing his clavatian heritage.

"Only if you'll stop making fun of my dress—t-tunic, I mean." Harvey coughed. "Anyway, can you believe those girls? Afraid of a little spider!"

"And there wasn't even a spider either!" snorted Mikau, tossing away the fur skirt, but keeping the ill-fitting hat. "I mean, really, how do they expect to face up to goblins and ogres and such when they're afraid of a little spider?"

"Girls shouldn't be on Crystal Caravans." said Harvey, shaking his head.

"Yeah," Mikau puffed out his chest pompously, which wasn't all that impressive since he was a rather slender boy. "Only us men!"

"Yeah! Us men can handle it. We're tough!" Harvey struck what he thought was a very manly pose.

Mikau nodded an affirmative, "MUCH tougher then any dumb girl!"

"Is that so?"

The boys both froze, immediately dropping their 'tough guy' stances. They looked at each other with expressions of pure terror, and turned around slowly.

"Oh, er, hi Jade!" tried Harvey, his voice squeaking.

For standing behind them, not looking at all amused, was their Caravan Leader. She was a tall-ish selkie woman with bright red hair, a very rare hair colour among selkies, that hung down past her shoulders in jagged waves, bits and pieces were dreadlocked at the back. Like most selkies, her outfit was made of primarily leather and fur, and armor of iron, but it was also adorned in many strange accessories that she had gained over her travels. What stood out the most at that moment was the rather LARGE weapon slung over her back on a strap of leather, a staff-like weapon she called 'The Dreamcatcher.'

They remembered all the monsters that had met their end from that weapon and gulped.

Ignoring their horrified expressions, the selkie female watched them through half-lidded eyes, as though bored. "What were you doing?" she asked, taking a lazy step towards them. They jumped back in surprise.

"W-whats makes you think we were doing anything?" stuttered Harvey.

"Cause we weren't!" added Mikau, trying to sound casual; he failed utterly.

Their leader tilted her head to the side in quiet contemplation, "Ah. I see. So what was all that yelling I heard? Oh, and Mikau ..." she inclined her head to the dark clavat. "Next time you 'feel pretty', please keep it to yourself."

He flushed. Jade ignored him and continued. "And would you two know, perchance, why the female members of my caravan are running around unclothed screaming about spiders? Its seems you have located their missing garments, in any case. That hat looks horrible on you by the way." she added conversationally.

Mikau grabbed at the hat, holding it behind his back. "We wouldn't know about any of that Jade-sama, we were just um..."

"We were talking."

"Yes! Yes. Just talking!"

"Yes...I heard. Those darned 'dumb girls' eh?" her eyes flashed dangerously, the two made a squeaking noise.

"We only meant the other ones Boss!"

"I am still a girl though ..."

"We didn't mean YOU, you're awesome! Tubular! We meant GIRL girls." said Harvey unwisely.

There was a long silence, which Jade broke, sighing. "I have a suggestion for you two." she said, reaching back and unhooking the Dreamcatcher from its leather strap.



They didn't need much more advice then that. Seeing the look on their leaders face, the boys screamed, turned on their heels and fled as fast as their legs could go.

- - - - - - - -- - - - - - -

Toke was a little more then confused when he returned back to camp later in the afternoon. The young, fair-haired clavat first took note of Mikau and Harvey, strangely tied up in a tree by their ankles. Second he noticed Kenis, Abby and even Eris standing in a close knit group underneath them, jumping up and batting the hanging boys around with sticks. They were all giggling madly, and looked as though they had only just come from a bath. Glancing to his right, he saw their leader, Jade, sitting on the ground against a tree, Mog sitting on her lap. She was watching the scene before her with a contented smirk and abstractedly stroked the moogles fur.

Deciding that it was best to ignore the hostile group of females for the moment, Toke approached Jade and stood next to her. She looked up at him.

"You get the Shella mark I sent you for?" she asked.


"Good, we should be at Shella by tommorow then."

Toke nodded, and turned his face to the events at the tree, "So...whats going on there?"

Jade chuckled, making the clavat boy nervous. " Nothing. The boys are just getting the reward for some 'fun' they had earlier. I'll let them down in a while." she leaned her head back against the tree, smiling to herself about something. Toke, deciding it was best not to ask, merely sat on the grass and allowed Mog to crawl off Jade's lap and into his. The moogle opened his eyes for a moment to smirk at the howling hanging boys. He looked cryptically up at Toke.

"Professionals caravaners indeed. Thats what they get for their shenanigans..." and the lazy moogle drifted back into sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later, after the vengeful girls had grown weary of their twisted version of the pinyatta, the boys still hung upside down in their trees, waiting for Jade to take pity on them.

"You and your dumb ideas." said Harvey, with an upside-down pout.

"Oh, shut up." snapped Mikau, wriggling back on forth on his rope, only becoming dizzy for his efforts. They were silent again for a time.

"Mikau-kun ..." said Harvey at length.


"...I'm bored."

- - - - -- - - -- -- -------- - - - - -

GothGurl: And thats it! (chuckles) Now, you might ask, what relevence does this have to Crystal Chronicles? None, really, its just something I imagined my characters doing and decided to share with the world. Because I'm good like that.

Heres some character descriptions, although they have been slightly altered in the fanfic from what they actually look like in the game. (I'm putting them here so that you wouldn't have to read them at the beginning and could just get to the fanfic)

Jade- Obviously my main character, she is a female shark eyes selkie, and she's the blacksmiths daughter. But when I imagine her character she always looks like a female counterpart to the leader of the Striped Brigands (who is the only red-haired selkie in the game and he is HOT). And, yes, she does kick ass.

Mikau- Male natural clavat. He is the merchants son. He's actually much nicer then how he came out in the story XD

Toke- male clavat, the one with the hat. He is blonde and innocent and has cow-patterned socks (kawaii!) he is supposed to be much younger then the others, and Jade is actually nice to him. Oh, he's the fishermans son.

Kenis- My friends character, she is a female wolfie selkie and is the ranchers daughter (yay for cows!). She is basically based off my friend, who is an uber tomboy, but terrified of spiders. The irony...

Harvey: Hoo, boy, do I have fun with this crazy guy! He is a male shark eyes selkie, the one with the short hair and green 'tunic'. He's the only male selkie I actually like, the other ones look strange to me . But his pointy green hair just makes me laugh, and he's supposed to be quirky anyway. He's the farmers son.

Abby: Female dark coat clavat. I never play her. She's just there. She's the tailors daughter, typical.

Eris: The alchemists daughter, a female clavat, the one with the hat and braids. Being the alchemists daughter, she is therefore very level-headed and quiet. She doesn't battle much, at least not bosses, but her alchemist family sure is handy!

In the game I also have a male headband clavat named Cohall, but he's fairly new and didn't really fit into this story. Obviously, since he's made last, he gets the pleasure of being the millers son. HA! Loser. Strangely enough, he's the only character I have who only has ONE sibling, everyone else has two...weird.

And if anyones wondering why all my character are humanoid, don't judge me. I have a second file where everyone is a yuke or a lilty, so myah!

Anyway, you really didn't need to know all that, but whatever. I felt like sharing.