A/N: Strange. I seem to be doing a lot of HP fics these days. Huh. Must be the trend.

I'm writing this as future material/setup for a big crossover I'm planning. Still, I like the story too, which I hope is better than some of the Harry/ Naruto crosses out there that usually involve a manipulative Dumbledore, inter-dimensional travel, big messes, yaoi, over-powered techniques and never being completed. The second and third, I can take, but the rest… ugh!

Slight OOC, but nothing I can't write around or explain away…

You'd think I'd know better than to work on so many fics at once, what with college and all, but apparently, I'm not that smart…

Edit: okay, since people keep incessantly asking… THIS CAME FIRST! Yes, if you compare the publishing dates, THIS CAME BEFORE UCHIHA POTTER. And really, those are two family names, so that title should be hyphenated.

Please help fill up the tvtropes page!

Uzumaki Harry

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 1: The Obligatory 'How Do Things Get Messed Up?' Chapter

Disclaimer: Harry belongs to Rowling, Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. This story belongs to me. Somehow, I don't think anyone is going to make any fanfics about this.

Jiraiya quickly rushed over to the smoldering ruin that used to be the Potter house. He didn't have a lot of time. People would be here shortly, and he really didn't want to have to answer inconvenient questions.

It had been pure dumb luck, really, that he'd been on his way to visit that Potters that night. He wanted to talk to James about this idea he had for a line of books, maybe listen to Lily fake-gush about his manliness- just a little fun between friends. He hadn't been expecting to arrive to find the Dark Mark hanging over their house, just in time to see a room on the second floor explode in green light, followed by the rest of the house.

Thanking his lucky stars that he felt the boy still alive, he quickly dug little Harry out of the rubble. Surprisingly, he was lying in a 'bubble' of wreckage, wrapped securely in his blanket and very much uninjured. He was looking curiously around him, not understanding what had happened. Jiraiya was glad for small mercies.

Carefully taking the little boy in his arms, he pondered what to do. If this attack on the Potters was any indicator, it meant that their enemies, the Death Eaters (personally, Jiraiya always thought that was a stupid name) had targeted them explicitly for death. He knew all about the measures his friends had taken, and it sent a shiver up his spine to think they'd managed to break through it. There was a spy in the Potter's midst, and he could not in good conscience leave their son here to be found by whoever had betrayed them.

Not knowing how his actions would seriously mess up canon, Jiraiya body-flickered away, just in time to miss the bearded giant and the flying motorcycle…

The Yondaime looked at the little bundle his former sensei was pushing at him. "Say that again?"

Jiraiya smiled widely. "Pretty please? With sugar on top? Come on, do it for old times sake! Think about it this way; you and the wife have been planning to have a kid, and this is an excellent way to practice while helping out an old friend and while giving a little innocent a chance at life."

The Yondaime looked skeptically at the sleeping child. He and James Potter hadn't exactly been close, but they'd respected each other's abilities, if nothing else. He sighed. Besides, he owed the man a life-debt, which was something that had been tugging at his sense of honor, especially since the other man had never really tried to collect. "Fine! Better than him living with you, anyway. At least he won't be exposed to your perversion."

Jiraiya snickered sinisterly, or at least in what he thought was a sinister manner. It sounded kinda silly to the Yondaime, however. When he gave his former sensei a questioning look, however, he just grinned, saying something like "You'll understand in a few years."

Sighing again, he looked at the baby in his hands (when had Jiraiya handed him to him?) and thought about how his wife would react. He wondered what had happened to James that left his son in the care if Jiraiya. The Yondaime hadn't been able to spare any time to find out the condition of the outside world, things being messed up enough in the Hidden Countries as they were without anything else added in. Still, it must have been something bad if they'd leave their son with a pervert- granted, an honorable pervert, but still a pervert- like Jiraiya.

Suddenly, he focused on the sleeping boy's face. How the heck did he get that scar…?

A year later, the Kyuubi attacked. It wasn't pretty…

Jiraiya couldn't help but sigh. He thought he'd just gotten out of this situation. Now he had two snot-nosed brat to worry about! And to top it all off, he still couldn't find anyone who'd take a look at his book! Two and a half volumes good to go of the hottest stuff this side of a fire jutsu, and not one taker! Ugh…

Some years later…

Five-year old Uzumaki Harry really wanted to hit something as he daubed iodine on his little brother's cuts. Granted, his brother could be loud, but was that any excuse to push him until he fell to the ground? He'd have a talk with grandpa Hokage about this, later. That idiot said he'd have ANBU watching over them to make sure they were alright, but had those masked idiots shown up to help his little brother? Nnn-ooo-ooo! They'd probably been knocking up drinks somewhere, bumming around.

Little Naruto tried not to cry as the iodine burned his cuts. He knew his onii-chan was mad. He was always mad after people beat on Naruto. He didn't know why people hated him so much, even before they'd met him. All it would take was the mention of his name to get the grown ups worked up. Well, most grown ups. Grandpa Hokage didn't mind, and other kids didn't know what the big deal was, although they were slowly absorbing the grownup's attitude towards him.

Keeping tears in check- it wouldn't do any good to cry!- he pasted a half-hearted smile on his face. "Wh-what's for dinner, onii-chan?"

Harry's lips pursed for a moment as he tucked away the much-overused first-aid kit. "Instant ramen again. Those idiots at the orphanage forgot to send us money this week. Again. I'm going to tell the Hokage, but I don't know what good it'll do. Why do they hate us so much?"

Angrily, Uzumaki Harry rubbed at the scar on his head. He always did that when he was irritated, a habit that developed from all the people who'd ask him about it. He'd finally told them to 'f-k-off', something he'd heard from their uncle Jiraiya during the times he'd visit. He'd quickly learned other words to add to his repertoire, which he constantly used on anyone who'd dare touch his little brother. Needless to say, this didn't help with his popularity.

After a sparse dinner of slightly stale instant ramen Harry had been able to beg from a shopkeeper in exchange for a few chores, the two brothers retired to their shared bed. The apartment the Hokage had found for them had only one, and they didn't have enough money to buy a second. Granted, there was the couch, but neither really saw that as an option. Besides, both would invariably have nightmares if they slept alone, Naruto about the abuse people had been heaping on him since before he could remember, Harry about a strange green light and a collapsing house…

Harry grinned as his fist connected solidly with the jaw of the boy he was fighting, and felt those around him wince. He'd distinctly heard the crack of a dislocated jaw. Not that Harry was any better. He doubted he'd be able to fall asleep that night, considering the bruises over his body. He'd taken quite a beating, and wasn't really sure if the pain in his wrist was because his opponent had stepped on it at one point or because he'd broken his wrist. Still, it had been worth it. "Hah! That's what you get for messing with the Uzumakis! You'd better not mess with my little brother again!"

Iruka sighed, shaking his head as he made a couple of marks next to Harry's name in the pad he was holding, while a couple of boys helped the unconscious boy he'd been fighting off the mat. The dark-haired boy regularly used the taijutsu training period to beat the stuffing of the boys who'd apparently wronged him or his brother, although this didn't help to make him popular. He'd annoyed a lot of people his age this way, and Iruka figured it was only a matter of time before something unfortunate happened.

When Harry had entered the ninja Academy, Iruka had taken an interest in him. The green-eyed boy had been disturbingly zealous in his studies, and it had become obvious after a while that he saw being a ninja as a way he could protect his little brother from the abuse people threw at him, not to mention a means of getting a little payback, the taijutsu sessions being a prime example.

Iruka was afraid Harry didn't seem to realize that 'evening the score' like that would have consequences…

Harry tried not to cry out as a foot struck his rather bruised ribs. Apparently, Naruto wasn't the only one with a big brother they could run to.

"You like that, Uzumaki? Huh?" his aggressor said, emphasizing the words with a couple more kicks. "You think it was fun, beating on my little brother like that? Huh?"

To add insult to injury, the one kicking him was a girl. Ugh!

"Tell him to stay away from my little brother, or else!" Harry managed to choke out, earning another kick for his troubles.

"You're not in charge here, runt!" the girl said. A few of the people who'd ganged up on him on his way home joined in on the kicking. It felt like hours for Harry, until he heard a commotion above him, followed by his tormentors running away. Raising his head wearily, he caught a glimpse of an older boy with a forehead protector on his brow and strange lines on his face before he blacked out.

And thus, Uzumaki Harry was introduced to Uchiha Itachi. The genin and Academy student made a strange pair. Apparently, Itachi had seen Harry in trouble and decided that he thought the odds needed evening up. The next day, Harry had gone to the Uchiha compound to thank his savior, and an unlikely friendship was born.

The genius wasn't the chattiest of people, and many people wondered what their relationship consisted of. Those who made insinuations were quickly silenced, either by Itachi, who would usually have quiet words with the person, or Harry, who yelled at the top of his lungs that he wasn't gay, and furthermore was too young for that kind of stuff!

Harry and eventually Naruto started frequenting the Uchiha part of town more often. The people there seemed more tolerant of Naruto, although that could be because he and his brother were under the protection of Itachi, the star prodigy of the family.

Itachi and Harry weren't exactly having a 'normal' friendship. This was Itachi, after all. Itachi seemed to take it into himself to see that Harry could 'defend himself from butch tomboys', as he said it. Things didn't exactly go according to plan. For one thing, when Itachi tried to teach Harry the Gōkakyū no Jutsu, Harry couldn't talk for days because he burned his throat. Shisui would sometimes join them and Harry would end up Uchiha double-teamed.

Because of this, Naruto and Itachi's younger brother Sasuke met and started spending time together. The two initially didn't get along, although their respective older brothers found their fights amusing. When the two younger boys asked for help, Harry just said, "What's the fun in that?"

The next day, the two younger boys put food coloring in Itachi's shampoo and glue on Harry's sandals.

That officially started the friendship of Naruto and Sasuke. Pity the happy times couldn't last…

Naruto didn't know what to do with Sasuke. The boy just sat there, a haunted look in his eyes. In the next room, he could hear Harry onii-chan talking to the Hokage, but he couldn't make out what they were saying.

Sasuke had been like this since before they'd gone back to the Uzumaki apartment. Since…

Naruto shook his head, trying to rid himself of the visions, but they wouldn't go away.

They should have realized something was wrong when they approached the Uchiha compound and didn't see anyone. Harry and Naruto had been walking Sasuke home from the Academy, and had been slightly bothered no one was around. Granted, they hadn't exactly been expecting Itachi waiting at the gates- in the two years Harry had known him, it had been rare that Itachi had been waiting for Harry at the gates. Usually, Harry would need to seek him out. Meetings became less frequent when Itachi became ANBU, since he was so busy. Still, they'd managed to get the guy to stop enough to give him a congratulatory party, which had consisted of the four of them pigging out on ramen. After which the three had slipped sake into his drink, waited for him to fall asleep, then dumped him naked on the other side of town.

Naruto had been thinking that maybe Itachi onii-san was dreaming up some kind of prank as payback for that- granted it had been a few weeks ago- and this was just some kind of set up- Itachi had disturbingly good pranks, which often seemed to do with pancake syrup- when they'd seen the weird stains on the walls. It wasn't until they bumped into the first body of a dead Uchiha that it really clicked there was a problem.

Harry and Naruto had tried to drag Sasuke away, get help, maybe a couple of ANBU, but the boy had suddenly become frantic, running home and screaming for his parents. The two had no choice but to run after him. Harry had been thinking Itachi would kill him if anything happened to his brother when they saw Sasuke collapse. And then they'd seen why…

From that day on, Sasuke lived with the Uzumakis, although that fact wasn't generally well known. They never mentioned Itachi around the apartment again. Harry went through the place the same night they took Sasuke there to recuperate and removed every picture or item that had a link with Itachi.

They treated Sasuke as family, and took care of him during those first few days he was almost catatonic. Although many families where willing to take care of the Uchiha - even the Hyuugas at one point, but only as a Branch House member- Harry and Naruto fought tooth and nail- in some cases, literally- to be allowed to take him in. He doesn't know anyone else, they argued, not like he knows us. The Hokage, sympathetic to their argument, and thinking that it would be best to let Sasuke grow up with those who would best understand his situation, eventually agreed.

Eventually, things settled down, and most people forgot the circumstances that led to Sasuke Uchiha living with the Uzumakis. Or, indeed, that there were circumstances. Sasuke, predictably, was never the quite same again.

Harry did his best to see that his newest 'little brother' wouldn't sink into depression, the way he'd heard people tended to when faced with something like this. After a lot of trying and pranks- none of which involved pancake syrup, which was never seen again in that apartment- Harry and Naruto finally got Sasuke to smile again, but the best they could do was to get him to do it in private. To the rest of the world, Sasuke was a block of ice.

Then, one day, when things had finally taken a semblance of normalcy, that weird letter came…

- To be continued...

A/N: Yes, it's been done to Death, but hey, it's better than another 'blank gets sent to blank's dimension, where blank becomes a blank, and helps kill/overthrow the evil snake, blank'. The fic by Sangelide I read really emphasized the parallels between Naruto and Harry Potter. Seriously, a snake-themed villain who uses cursed marks to control his followers, has a thing for immortality, likes to wear dresses, and is after some good-looking kid with dark hair, messed-up childhood, and is totally clueless about girls? Disturbing…

Sorry it's mostly tell and little show, but that's how it seems to be for my pilot fics. More stuff next time.

In book one, Hagrid explicitly mentions the wreckage of the Potter's house.

Jiraiya, James and Lily met some time when they were younger. I'll try to explain in the next chap.

I'm one of those that think the Yondaime and Naruto are somehow related. It could be Naruto is the reincarnation of the Yondaime, seeing as how in some sources, it says his soul I trapped with Kyuubi's in the Sealing, but right now, I'll stick with the 'orphaned at birth' explanation. Easier that way, and gives me less of a headache, plus it does away with those annoying 'past life memories'.

As for the last name 'Uzumaki', I read somewhere that, given all the spirals around Naruto (the Konoha hitae-ate, etc) it's not unlikely that 'Uzumaki' is a general last name given to orphans, like John Doe, or something. The reason there aren't more Uzumakis in Konoha is the name became taboo after it was given to Naruto…

Hey, if you had to take care of a little brother in a village that hates his guts, you'd mature too! Harry's also a tad overprotective, but only up to a point.

It's my version of Itachi, so I can do whatever I want with him. So there!

Branch House Hyuuga Sasuke. Wouldn't that mess him up even more!

Please review, C&C welcome. Just no Amaterasus, please. I don't think I'd survive. Oh, and no asking for me to update soon, because I will anyway. There are so many more things you could fill the reviews with.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.