Shri: Oh God, not again…
Buttsy: Yup! It's me again!
Shri: Yes, once again, for Halloween, Buttsy Boy has volunteered…okay, really, really wanted to write, a Creepy Theater Presentation of a really scary story…okay, one that's just really silly.
Buttsy: Maybe we should have a coming soon!
Shri: He wants us to do a 'Little Red Riding Hood' spin-off. It should come around Thanksgiving-ish.
Buttsy: How could this be a Halloween special if it's not Halloween yet?
Shri: Because little mind, A, I always update on Fridays, and B, we're writing this story early, BUT WE'RE GOING TO POST IT NEAR HALLOWEEN!
Buttsy: Ooooh…I don't get it.
Shri: Yes, complicated stuff, isn't it? (rolls eyes) This was supposed to be a story about how Valon's gut nearly conquered the world, but we changed it at the last minute. Okay, onto the story…
NIGHT OF THE LIVING FURBY
It is a time of great woe among the land. An ancient treasure lies beneath the sands of time in an ancient tomb of the gods. However, no thief has ever been brave enough, or dim witted enough, to enter the tomb and cross its many perils, including great statues with the destructive capability of a huge stone thing swinging around a sword. However, one brave and lone figure has the charisma, the courage, and the unintelligence to combat this threat to sanity.
"ARMOR BOY IS NOT AFRAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES, HE IS NOT AFRAAAAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES," sung Valon in his 'Armor Boy' costume, walking through an ancient tomb, with huge statues with swords like the ones from Yami's Tomb drew closer, swing around their swords.
"ARMOR BOY IS A TEENY WEEY ITSY BITSY BIT AFRAAAAAAID OF STATUES, JUST AN ITSY BIT AFRAAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES," said Armor Boy.
The statues drew closer
"ARMOR BOY IS ACTUALLY JUST A SLIGHT AMOUNT AFRAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES, JUST A BIT AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES-"
The statues drew closer, swinging its swords more violently.
"ARMOR BOY IS ACTUALLY A SIZABLE AMOUNT AFRAAAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES, DEFINATLY AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES-"
The statues drew even closer, their swords stained with blood.
"ARMOR BOY IS GETTING A BIT CREEPED OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT BY STATUES, CREEPED OUT A LOOOOOOOOOOOT BY STATUES-"
The statues also had a bunch of freshly killed bodies by their feet.
"ARMOR BOY WANTS TO WET HIS PANTS CAUSE HE'S AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAID OF STATUES, WANTS TO WETS HIS PANTS REALLY BAAAAAAAAAAAAD FROM STATUES-"
The statues towered twenty feet in the air in front of Armor Boy.
"Aw man, this game cheats!" said Valon, who was playing 'Armor Boy' on his PS2.
"Stupid, you're not supposed to walk right toward the statues," said Alister coolly. "Remember the secret passage the old woman from the Egyptian village told you about?"
"Aw, shut up Girly Man," said Valon, restarting. "I wasn't listening to her anyway!"
"Well duh, you killed her three seconds later!" said Alister.
"I SAID SHUT UP!" said Valon, restarting the game. "Armor Boy-"
"& IT!" said Valon.
"You really aren't good at these kind of games, are you Valon?" said Alister.
"KIDS!" Dartz called from upstairs. "COULD ONE OF YOU RUN DOWN TO THE STORE TO PICK UP SOME CANDY WE CAN POISON FOR THE TRICK OR TREATERS?"
"MAKE THE GIRLY MAN DO IT!" said Valon.
"MAKE THE STUPID AUZIE DO IT!" said Alister.
"SHUT UP AND ONE OF YOU GO ALREADY!" screamed Dartz.
"Beat it Stupid," said Alister, popping out Valon's game from the PS2 and replacing it with 'Bunny Bashers 7.0'.
"Whatever…" said Valon sadly, walking off to the store.
"Candy…candy…candy…" Valon said, walking up and down the same aisle over and over again, not realizing that he was doing it. "Where is the candy? I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE! I'M LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!"
"Hey shtupid," said a little boy. "Da candy aisle is wight next to dis one…"
"Yeah right ya little snot nosed brat!" said Valon, as the kid kicked him in the shins and walked away. "Rotten kids…hey, what's that?"
There was a huge basket at the end of the aisle that said 'Furbies, Cheep', and it was full to the brim with big eyed, big eared, super fuzzy little Furbies, all looking happy to see Valon, which no person of right mind would.
"Hewwo. I wuv you!" said a Furby in the basket.
"HELLO!" Valon screamed stupidly.
"Will you be Furby's fwiend?" asked Furby.
"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!" screamed Valon, nodding his head violently, picking up the Furby and giving it a huge hug. "I LOVE YOU!"
"I wuv you!" said the Furby back.
"I'M GONNA BUY YOU WITH THE MONEY I'M SUPPOSED TO USE TO BUY CANDY WITH!" said Valon, running with the Furby to a check out person, running over ten little kids in the process.
"IT'S BUNNY BASHIN' TIME!" said Alister's Virtual character, who blew up the softest, cuddliest rabbit in the world with a plasma cannon.
"This game's awesome," said Alister to Raphael, who was happily cuddling his Guardian Cards, asking them what they wanted to be for Halloween.
"Do you want to be a gweat big fiaman Gawdian Neawtos?" asked Raffy. "Yes you do, yes you do…"
"HI GIRLY MAN!" screamed Valon, running right through the front door, causing it to fall to the ground with a crash.
"Did you get the candy?" asked Alister, as his player just got blown up by a Super Mega Karate Bunny.
"I spent it all on…THIS!" said Valon enthusiastically, holding out a Furby.
"What?" asked Alister.
"Isn't he cute?" asked Valon, cuddling the little black and white Furby.
"Hewwo! I wuv you!" said the Furby. "Do you wuv Furby?"
"No," said Alister flatly.
"You a shtupid Giwly Man!" said the Furby.
"WHAT?" screamed Alister, running up to Valon, snatching the Furby out of his hand, and was about to break it in half. "Why you bloody little-"
"DON'T HURT HIM ALICE!" screamed Valon, snatching the Furby out of Alister's hand. "Furby's right! You are a stupid Girly Man!"
"SHUT UP VALON!" screamed Alister.
"What's going on down here?" asked Dartz, walking into the room in half of a clown costume.
"Trying to sew my Fallen Angel costume you boobs!" said Mai, who also walked in, holding a lump of black fabric and fishnet.
"Oh, now you're going to get it!" said Alister.
"I BOUGHT THIS FURBY WITH THE MONEY I WAS SUPPOSED TO BUY CANDY WITH!" said Valon.
"I wuv you!" said Furby.
Here it comes…thought Alister excitedly.
"IT'S SO CUTE!" said Dartz.
And so, the great annoyance by means of an animatronics plushie began! All day, Valon skipped around the house, begging people to give Furby hugs and kisses and free money and such other nonsense. It was even worse that night at dinner when Valon insisted that everyone should eat raw meat soaked in blood, because it was Furby's favorite food. This, however, was the first few steps to a violent road to pain and suffering, caused by one Furby, and a sick man's dream to take over the world…
"Goodnight Furby!" said Valon happily, tucking Furby into his bed that was filled with garbage and old socks, not to mention quite a few pairs of underwear and stuff Valon finds in the gutters that he wants to eat for a midnight snack. "Sweet dreams!"
"I wuv you!" said Furby.
"I love you too!" said Valon.
"Youwa hot baby!" said Furby.
"You're hot too Furby!" said Valon.
"I'm made of gwilled cheese!" said Furby.
"So is the Girly Man!" said Valon.
"I'm going to keel you now!" said Furby.
"HA HA HA HA-what?" asked Valon.
"I'm gowing to viowentwy swaughta you and and weave youw cowpse for da buzzards!" said Furby.
"THAT'S SO CUTE!" said Valon.
"Da buzzards will be deadwy!" threatened the Furby, trying to make Valon scared to death (and when I say that…).
"I love you!" said Valon.
"Time to die!" said Furby, in one little paw, holding a huge axe.
And that's when Valon figured out he was really in for it.
Valon ran out of his room as fast as he could in his undies, the cuddly robot Furby following him in hot pursuit. Valon madly twisted and weaved through the hallways, as a thread on his undies got caught, madly unraveling the further he traveled down the hall.
"GIRLY MAN!" he screamed, opening up the door, wearing nothing more than a loincloth. "THE FURBY'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"
"One, put a pair of pants on," said Alister angrily, who was doing some late night plans of how to bring Mikey back to life. "And two…for God sakes, what are you ranting about half-naked?"
"THE FURBY! IT'S GOING TO KILL ME!" screamed Valon.
"Oh yeah right, and pigs will fly out of my rear," said Alister.
"Hewwo!" said Furby, with a big scary shadow across the floor.
"HE'S BACK TO KILL ME!" screamed Valon, rushing behind Alister.
"You're the most pathetic man alive," said Alister.
"I wuv you Giwy Man!" said Furby.
"DON'T CALL ME A GIRL!" yelled Alister.
"Time to keel!" said the Furby, pulling out the axe. With that, he jumped in the air, and flew at Alister, who caught him in midair, as the Furby violently slashed at Alister's face with the axe.
"I really wish he got around to killing you Valon, but no matter," said Alister, reaching under Furby and ripping out the batteries. "There problem solved."
"YOU DID IT GIRLY MAN!" said Valon, as Alister tossed the lifeless Furby to the floor.
"Yeah, now go to sleep you freak," said Alister.
"You no…keel Furby…" said Furby, magically getting up.
"…what?" asked Alister in a frightened squeek.
"You no keel Furby," said Furby, getting up and picking up the slaughtering axe. "Furby keel you bowf!"
Alister and Valon (who was still barely wearing anything) ran down the hallway full speed, screaming like little sissy girls as the Furby flew after them in hot pursuit, who was laughing like an adorable little homicidal maniac. In one last desperate chance at freedom, Alister and Valon ran into Raffy's room, slamming the door behind them.
"RAFFYIT'STERRIBLETHERE'SAFURBYANDHE'SGONNAKILLUSAND…what are you doing?" asked Valon.
"Sleeping on the floor," said Raffy, who was lying on the cold, hard floor when there was a nice bed right next to him. "Ever since I got Guardian Neatos, Guardian Grawl, and Guardian Kaes, I let them sleep in my bed, and I just sleep on the floor."
"You do realize that the entire house is invested with man eating termites, right?" asked Alister.
"What's your point?" asked Raffy, as a bunch of termites were chewing on his face.
"Raffy, there's a Furby out there and he's trying to kill us!" said Valon in horror.
"Oh please," said Raphael, and at that moment, a huge axe shattered the door, ripping it off it's hinges.
"Hewwo!" said Furby, as the door fell to the ground.
"Ha ha, stupid Furby!" said Raphael.
"I wuv you!" said Furby, throwing the axe at Valon, who screamed like a girl, but managed to duck in time. However, the axe buried itself into Raffy's bed…making a tiny scratch on Guardian Grawl.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Raphael, turning into a homicidal maniac himself, charging and bellowing toward the Furby, and in a very violent scene, ripped the Furby apart piece buy piece.
The entire Furby lay in a pile of burning rubble, as Raffy inhaled and exhaled like a maniac, as if he just killed a thousand thingits.
"Well…problem solved again…" said Alister.
"LET'S ALL GO HAVE PIE!" said Valon.
"Let's go to sleep…" said Alister.
With a twitch of pieces that lay on the ground, one tingling piece managed to straighten itself out all by itself.
"Uh oh…" said Alister.
Another piece came together.
Many more pieces came back together.
"You no…keel Furby…"
With that, all the parts reassembled themselves, and a huge, powerful, robotic Furby reformed, laser beams coming out of it, all aiming at the three.
"Furby keel you!"
All three of the pathetic Doom Bikers ran away screaming from the new and improved Furby, who once again flew through the hallways on little jet packs after them. However, this time-
"OW! YOU IDIOTS!"
They had all ran into Mai.
"MAI! THERE'S A HUGE, HOMICIDAL FURBY, AND HE'S GOING TO KILL US!"
"Go die Valon," said Mai.
"With…pweasure…" said the Furby, who turned a corner, and aimed a ray gun at Mai and the others. The three boys screamed, and Valon nearly wet himself, but then.
Mai pulled out a shoulder plasma cannon, and barbequed the Furby until it was nothing more than a pile of charred dust.
"I LOVE YOU!" screamed Valon, and that's when Mai stuck the Plasma Cannon right up his face.
"Never mind," said Valon, quickly letting her go.
"Well, problem solved…yet again…I guess…" said Alister.
"I wouldn't say dat if I were you…"
With that, from the pile of dust, a huge, six foot tall Furby rose, extra fuzzy, but with all sorts of dangerous weapons and lasers, like a huge, fuzzy, robot overlord.
"TIME TO GO!" said the Furby, aiming a super Gamma Ray Cannon at all of them.
And so, the Doom Bikers had no choice to leave the temple to the great Leviathan (Dartz was out at a Halloween party that night), which exploded, and the Furby began to walk right down the street, off to destroy the town.
"Who could have done this?" asked Mai.
"YUGI!" yelled Raffy.
"WHEELER!" said Valon.
"KAIBA!" said Alister.
"Fine, I'll try to stop the Furby, you guys try to find out who did this," said Mai. "And for God sakes, I can't stress this enough to all of you, DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!"
"Aw man…" said Valon.
AT YUGI'S HOUSE
"HEY GRANDPA!" yelled Yugi. "HAVE YOU SEEN MY TEDDY BEAR?"
"Uh…no Yugi," said Grandpa, who was hugging it on the couch and watching 'I Love Lucy' reruns.
"HE'S GOTTA BE SOMEWHERE!" said Yugi, looking in the fridge.
"No he's not…" said Grandpa.
"HEY! IT'S PINEAPPLE MAN!" said Yugi, pulling out a pineapple in a superhero cape. "I thought Grandpa threw you away!"
"WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL NEWS REPORT!" said a news announcer of Grandpa's show.
"WAIT! I NEED TO KNOW HOW THIS ONE ENDS!" said Grandpa.
"A giant Furby is destroying town, and despite Government Tanks, B-14s, and a lone girl trying to zap it with a plasma cannon, this Furby won't give up on it's wild rampage through town," said the news reporter. "How do you think this will affect your holiday weekend Bob?"
"BORING!" said Grandpa, turning off the TV.
Just as Yugi was about to call Joey asking if he ate an object of personal value and didn't tell him again, the door busted down, and there, framed evilly in the doorway, was Raphael.
"IT'S LUCY!" said Grandpa.
"Huh?" asked Raphael.
"IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN!" said Yugi. "Did I finally get that pair of Dark Magician underwear I asked for?"
"Don't play cute you star-shaped headed little punk," said Raphael.
"No underwear?" asked Yugi.
"Why did you create that Furby that's destroying town right now?" asked Raphael.
"TELL HIM I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE BANK ROBBERY YUGI!" said Grandpa.
"What bank robbery Grandpa?" asked Yugi.
"…I don't know?" asked Grandpa.
"We also interrupt this program to inform you that an old looking thingy named Otom Apmarg, a small, old lady with a star-shaped, gray head," said the announcer.
"WOW! She looks eerily like you Grampa, which I just realized is 'Apmarg' spelled backwards!" said Yugi, looking at the picture on the screen.
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" said Raphael. "Do you know what created the Furby or not?"
"Nope! Maybe Joey knows!" said Yugi cheerfully, as Grampa pulled a huge bag of money out of his pants and tried to shove it under the sofa.
AT JOEY'S HOUSE
"Joey…I think you're carving the pumpkin a little too much…" said Serenity, as Joey had a huge axe and was hacking the pumpkin into little strips like some kind of maniac.
"Nuh uh!" said Joey. "This is the final piece of my Halloween Costume…PUMPKIN PANTS MAN!"
"Pumpkin…Pants Man?" said Serenity.
"YEP!" said Joey. "He's an awesome force for good, running through the streets, wearing nothing but his pants he stuffed with pumpkin, and kicking people's butts with his trusty sidekick, MONKEY LASS!"
"That explains the chimp suit I found on my bed…" said Serenity to herself.
"HURRY UP AND GET IN YOUR COSTUME SERENITY!" said Joey, shoving bits of pumpkin down his pants. "Trick or Treating starts in half an hour!"
"Assuming the whole town isn't destroyed by that huge Furby I heard was wreaking havoc through town," said Serenity.
"HUH?" said Joey stupidly, some pumpkin falling out of the leg of his pants.
"JOEY WHEELER!" said Valon at the top of his lungs after breaking down the door.
"Oh, not again," said Serenity, pulling out her bazooka cannon.
"WHY DID YOU…uh…you…um…I forgot what I came here for." said Valon.
"Oh, by the way, we didn't create that Furby that's wreaking havoc through town," said Serenity.
"Yes we did," said Joey.
"Shh," said Serenity quickly. "And we didn't rob that bank like Yugi's Grandpa did."
"That was Yugi's Grandpa?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, I mean, seriously, wasn't it obvious?" said Serenity.
"But…I love Yugi's Grandpa…" said Joey. "Almost as much as I love Mai!"
"TAKE THAT…I forgot again…" said Valon. "WANT TO SEE MY ARMOR BOY COSTUME?"
"Why do I live like this?" asked Serenity.
AT KAIBA'S HOUSE
"No, I am not being Pumpkin Pants Man this year," said Kaiba, as he was talking on his cell phone. "No…he said what? You're kidding…yes…yes…well if he ditched you twice Irene, I don't think he's any good…yes…size eleven…you said what? No I…no…"
"HEY SETO! GET DOWN HERE! I LOVE LUCY IS STARTING!" yelled Mokuba.
"Gotta go Irene…business you know...who do I think's hot? Um…BYE!"
"AH HA!" said Alister, carrying in a bunch of highly dangerous weapons. "AT LAST KAIBA, NOW I SHALL-"
"No shoes in the house!" yelled Mokuba.
"Oh, sorry," said Alister, taking off his shoes, and putting that at the door.
"Where was I…lost my train of thought…OH YEAH! NOW I SHALL DESTROY-"
"Go away, 'I Love Lucy's' on girly man," said Kaiba.
"SHUT UP! I AM NOT A GIRL!" said Alister, whipping out a huge plasma cannon. "TIME TO DIE!"
"WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR THIS SPECIAL NEWS ANNOUNCMENT!" said the reporter.
"#!" yelled Kaiba.
"What does that word mean?" asked Mokuba.
"…um…chocolate…in Portuguese. And you're not allowed to say it," said Kaiba.
"ENOUGH OF THIS BANTER!" said Alister. "Admit you made that Furby that's wreaking havoc through town, so I can barbeque your brains!"
"You're insane!" said Mokuba. "Okay, us…and Furbies. Do they match?"
Alister said nothing. He just sighed and walked out the door.
"So…now what?" said Mokuba.
"I don't know, ice cream?" asked Kaiba.
"OKAY!" said Mokuba. "Do you want vanilla or #?"
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THAT!" said Kaiba.
IN THE CENTER OF TOWN
"So you're telling me that none of you could find out who made the Furby?" asked Mai.
"No," said Alister. "Okay…if it's not Yugi, and it's not Wheeler, and it's not Kaiba…then who did it?"
"Maybe one of us!" said Valon.
"Wait…maybe it's Dartz's Evil Adopted Brother, ZIGFRIED?" said Raphael.
"Well, we're running out of time, so sure, why not?" said Mai.
"How did you guess?" asked Ziggy evilly. "Oh, whatever…it's not like you can do anything to stop it."
"Well you can!" said Mai. "Tell us how to stop the Furby now-"
"OR WE'LL MAKE YOU LISTEN TO THIS CD!" said Valon, holding out a 'Pearl Jam' CD.
"Actually, you made two very big mistakes when you came into this building," said Zigfried, sitting back in his super fancy chair with a huge white rose on it. "One, you'd assume that I'd help you, and two, you would say that I did it and let you live to tell the tale."
"Which means?" asked Valon.
"Which means that I'm about to send you to the afterlife by express," said Ziggy.
"HUH?" said Valon.
"I prefer to let my little beauties do the talking!" said Ziggy, and out from the wall, a huge pair of plasma cannons came forth, aiming right at the three.
"HEY ZIGGY! ARE YOU BEING PUMPKIN PANTS MAN THIS YEAR!" asked Leon.
"BUSY!" said Ziggy. "Um, where was I?"
"Giving us little presents and letting us go," said Valon.
"Um…no…" said Ziggy, using the plasma to zap them all into a little pile of ash.
"AW MAN, THIS GAME CHEATS!" said Valon, sitting on the sofa in the living room, after being blown up for what seemed like the one hundredth time this game.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU ALL!