Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.
A/N: Well, I decided to try to start this chapter as fast as possible so that by the time that February crawls by, I could be well and done with this or at least halfway there. I have a lot of big plans for this chapter so I hope that they can actually come out. If so, then this shall be a really great chapter with a bit of surprises. Enjoy.
Diary of a Student's Desire
By the time that February rolled in, I still wasn't too keen on the idea of spending time with Roxas. Sure, he was a bit fun when he decided to loosen up. However, by the first Tuesday of the month, I clearly understood that he had a deep grudge against me. Whenever Kairi came along on our trips, he would be civil to her and actually laugh at some of her jokes. However, whenever he could, he would do his best to ignore me and put me down.
Each weekend Riku and I would go visit Roxas at the local ice rink. It was something that Roxas was very driven into doing. His life was shaped to be an Olympic speedskater. He practiced any chance that he could, making laps around the rink with weird skates or running miles along the beach. With all of the exercise he was doing, I was surprised that he hasn't already won the medal yet.
We sat in the mini-café, Riku, Kairi, and I, eating fries and chicken strips while watching Roxas charge down the sides of the track. He was trying again to beat his best time of the month.
"He doesn't have much time to practice does he?" asked Kairi, sipping on an Icee.
Riku sighed and twirled a fry along the others, a melancholy mood coming over him.
"I get worried about him. He tries too hard to be the best when he should be doing it for himself."
I nodded in understanding. Earlier, I had learned that Roxas was the son of a famous Olympic skating family. His father Luxord was a successful German Olympic figure skater and won many awards before meeting his partner Larxene. After they met, they ruled the ice, a power couple that couldn't be beat. They seemed to live for the ice, their skill so polished that it appeared almost unnatural.
In time they settled down and retired from competitive ice-skating, doing a few promotions here and there. But they continued to try and share with Roxas and his twin sister Naminé their love of skating. Naminé never really picked up on it but Roxas was determined to excel with it. He made it his life dream.
"Has he ever competed before? At least to see if he's doing well?" I asked, watching as Roxas stopped at the end of his sprint with a smile on his face, skating towards the time clock perched on the side of the rink.
Riku noticed and focused back onto his fries, watching his friend out of the corner of his eye.
"Of course he has."
"And how did he do?" asked Kairi, excited for Roxas.
At seeing the time, he cursed loudly and banged his fist against the hard barrier before skating off again in a huff.
"He couldn't even place in most of them. He'd get knocked off of the race before they hit the top five."
Watching Roxas, I saw as he wiped at his face with the back of his hand before charging off for another round of laps. Frustration had already set in and, at that moment, I felt truly bad for him. He seemed so hopeless at that moment, hating himself for not being able to make what appeared to him as such an easy time. He would run for days and still not be able to gain more than a few tenths of a second. But he still remained so determined to excel and it was heartbreaking to watch.
"Well there must be something that he can do to get better. He does everything else," asked Kairi.
Riku shook his head, placing his elbows onto the table, his bangs drifting to the side of his face.
"He just doesn't have the legs for it. He's trained to be pretty powerful. However, he doesn't have the right body to be able to successfully compete."
Kairi looked down at the white table with a sad sigh.
"It must tear him apart, trying so hard for his life's passion but not getting anything out of it."
A week went by and soon enough, Valentine's Day fever took over the minds of everyone in the campus. Many of the guys were rushing to figure out what to get their demanding girlfriends and the girls were giggling to each other about the weird boys that had summoned up the courage to ask them out.
Luckily Riku was just his usual self on that day, arrogant and always with a playful smirk as girls and boys loaded him with flowers and expensive gifts. I was luckily granted the privilege of housing his love trophies in my room for the day. Note the sarcasm.
There was no way that I was going to smile that day. Kairi was off turning hopeful boys down with kind smiles and a few insults when they didn't clearly get the message and Roxas was off wherever the hell he normally was. And I still haven't been able to work off my stupid attraction to Tidus so there was no way I was going to spend time with him.
Sitting in my Biology class, I pouted at the red heart lollipop that our overly cheerful professor gave us. Apparently her long-time live-in boyfriend chose to pop the question on that day and she was determined to spread the cheer to us. Luckily she decided to give us an automatic A on the last exam we took.
With a sigh, I twirled the lollipop as she continued to blab on and on about her future plans, a few of the other students joining in with her conversation enthusiastically.
"God, Valentine's Day sucks," I muttered as I waited for class to end. At least I could look forward to seeing Riku later that night.
It wasn't until later that night that Riku had decided to appear at my door. For a moment, I didn't think he was going to come by so I started to get ready to for bed, silently cursing his name.
Pulling off my shirt, there was a knock at the door, followed by a thud and some mumbling. I paled for a few seconds, thinking someone had decided to either try to rob me or was messing around with his girlfriend on my door.
Hesitantly, I peeked through the peep hole, seeing nothing at first except a few white blonde hairs. Then the slightly flushed face of Riku appeared, rubbing his forehead with a slew of curses.
Even though I did feel a little naked in only my boxers and hair still wet from the shower I had just taken, I opened the door, more worried about Riku than my own lack of clothes.
"Riku! What the hell are you doing here?" I asked, noting the smell of alcohol and perfume, something that his girlfriend probably wore for him that day. He looked like a mess as he leaned on me, trying to clear his probably dizzy head.
"I came for my shit. Don't you remember? It's still V-day right?" he remarked, blinking hard to keep his focus.
Pushing away from me, he tried to make his way to the collection of things and slumped to the side of the wall, groaning tiredly. I closed the door and rushed over to him, a worried look across my face.
"You should sit down, you're drunk," I whispered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable around him. Up to that point, I never really had to deal with someone who was drunk. Sure I myself did drink and I was used to being around some buzzed guys. However here was Riku, practically falling over intoxicated in my room.
Shaking his head a little too forcefully, he licked his lips and sniffed.
"Don't worry, I can count my ABCs. Wanna hear?"
He giggled right after and almost tripped on his shoes as he stood in front of me. I cringed at his alcohol breath.
"You can't count ABCs. And there's no way I'm going to let you drive like this and get in an accident."
"Phbt… What do you know anyway? I drove all the way here di-n't I?" he slurred, wrapping his arms lazily on my shoulders and snuggling his cheek against the top of my head.
I paled, thanking the heavens that he hadn't driven off of a cliff. He must have had Jocelyn in the car to make sure he was okay. There was nothing else I could do for him, I didn't know where he lived and I definitely wouldn't have felt right staying at his apartment on Valentine's Day.
Feeling his weight suddenly pull down on me, I wobbled and tried to keep balance. His slow breathing meant he must have fallen asleep while he was rambling. Great…
"Riku? You're heavy! Wake up!" I whimpered as he started to slide to the side in his sleep.
With a curse, I awkwardly maneuvered my way to my bed and tried to pry his death grip off of my neck. For a delicate looking guy like Riku, his strength was almost lethal. But I also was lucky enough to be short enough to squeeze my head out of his grip and, gently, was able to get him to lay down.
He must have been in a really deep sleep since he barely flinched before snuggling into my pillows. I glared down at him. What the hell possessed him to come to my room when he was so intoxicated? He should have been with his girlfriend so he could have spent the night at her place until the morning.
"And now where am I gonna sleep?"
My roommate was out with his own girlfriend so I could use his bed. But I still didn't feel comfortable about it all.
Digging through my drawers, I pulled out a pair of pajama pants and huddled into the corner of the room while I hurriedly slipped them on. I thought maybe I should call Kairi, she wasn't doing anything that night so maybe she could help me or something. Then again, I knew exactly what her advice would have been.
'Rip off his pants and take it like a man Sora!'
Shivering in a mix of emotions I shook the idea out of my head, not wanting to even think about taking advantage of Riku. I was sure that many of his admirers would if they were in my position right now and if I thought about it for too long, I might have done something that I would have regretted.
Turning off my television, I made my way back to the bed and proceeded to take off his shoes. If he was going to stay in my room he might as well be comfortable.
I placed his shoes neatly to the floor under the bed and pulled Riku up into a seating position. He sniffed and blinked tiredly, allowing me awkwardly remove his coat.
"What're you doing? Can't keep your hands off of me I see?" he asked in a low tone with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes, getting one of his arms out.
"Oh yeah. I've been waiting all week so I could undress you," I muttered with a sarcastic note in my voice.
Riku just chuckled and tilted his head to the side, allowing me to get the coat off and tossing it onto my chair. We stayed there like that for a while, me standing and watching him while trying to figure out what to say and him just staring back at me with that playful grin of his and those twinkling eyes.
Looking down, I coughed awkwardly, placing my hand on my hip.
"I guess… uh. Good night?"
I blushed and scratched the back of my head as I cursed myself at my lack of rhetoric. What the hell else was I going to say? 'Sorry you're drunk so enjoy my bed?'
Nervously, I made my way to my roommate's bed and quietly slipped in, rolling over to the side to ignore Riku's amused gaze. He knew I was uneasy falling asleep with him in the room.
There was a rustle of my sheets and my door clicked open. Rolling over to my side, I peered up at Riku, standing at the now open door with his pack of cigarettes and lighter in his hand.
"I'm gonna go smoke for a bit, I'll be back."
He kept staring at me for that moment with a blank guarded expression. Though I really knew what he was thinking, I tried to shut it off of my mind as I dumbly nodded and covered my face with the blanket.
Hiding in the warm darkness of the comforter, I heard Riku cough, sniff tiredly, and then leaving my room with a jingle of my keys and a click of the door. I tried to ignore the lukewarm heated gaze he had given me deep within the hidden recesses of his eyes. Maybe he was so drunk and thinking about something else, forgetting that he was even talking to me.
"Yeah, that was it," I muttered, rolling over to my back and looking up at the ceiling. I never noticed that there were a small collection of glow-in-the dark stars that littered that side of the room.
Closing my eyes, I set my mind to falling asleep. If I did then I could simply sleep through this awkward night and maybe wake up to just a note from him, apologizing for the awkwardness and coming to my room drunk. And then all of the Valentine's paraphernalia would be out of my closet and everything would go back to the playful remarks and casually seeing each other like before.
Then again, thoughts of Kairi came to my mind. I know, it's a little weird to be thinking of your best friend while you're worrying about your hot, sexy, drunk friend that has full passage in and out of your room, with no roommate in sight. However, I knew that, if she was there at that exact moment, then she would be cursing at me, telling me that I should just take a shot with him, just to see if anything could happen.
A few minutes later, the clinking of the keys and the turn of the door knob brought me back to my senses. I was supposed to be asleep, well asleep with all of the time I spent laying under the covers and fretting.
Quickly, I closed my eyes and feigned sleep. At the very least, I knew that I should at least try to fake it so that it wouldn't be as awkward. Or else it would seem that I was sitting up worrying about if he was going to come back, which, in some respects I was.
The door closed and he put my keys onto my desk table, along with the plop of his cigarette pack and his white gold lighter. I could even hear his breath coming out in deep exhalations as he walked over towards me.
'What the hell is he doing? Just go to bed already,' I screamed in my head, trying not to scrunch my eyes or flinch in any way.
He stood over me for a few seconds, as if judging if I was seriously asleep. My breathing was shaky, in slow shallow breaths, trying to mimic as if I was having a light nightmare. For that moment I was, feeling like the child hiding in the bed while the boogeyman crept out from the closet. The smell of smoke and alcohol on his breath mixed into some kind of raw kind of smelling salt-like vapor. I was hardly able to keep myself asleep.
Then he sat down next to me, and, unable to keep my anxious eyes at bay, I opened them. The room was dark, only the dull bluish-white of the street lamp outside illuminating his hair. His foggy eyes peered down at me, hazy from drinking and from fatigue. The focus in his gaze, as cliché as it may be, made my heart beat so fast that I could have sworn that I was going to pass out and truly be asleep.
Well, in some sense of it.
Somehow, I slowly and hesitantly sat up, never averting my eyes from our intense stare down. My forehead brushed against his cheek as I settled myself in a half-seating position. His eyes crackled with that intense energy, breaking bit by bit through that fog of intoxication as he moved closer, placing his hand to the other side of me.
Without hesitation, I closed my eyes and allowed him to kiss me, his lips smooth against my own. It was slow and yet so short, as if he were a swimmer testing the water before a graceful swan dive into the depths of whatever this could have been. I couldn't help but feel impatient, pressing my lips against his in a more forceful manner.
We stayed like that, kissing each other back and forth like a twisted kind of tennis match, noses brushing every so often when they would get in the way. His mouth had a dizzying taste and my hands were more than eager to trace along his soft arms, my rough fingers brushing against his smooth skin.
He broke away for a moment, his lidded eyes absent of the playful glitter that always sparkled at me with mischief. However, I didn't care at that moment, more hungry for his kisses and wanting too much for myself to handle.
I tried kiss him again but he pulled away. His eyebrows were focused as he looked away, suddenly seeming incredibly sober.
Standing up with a slight creak from the mattress, he looked at me awkwardly and bit at the bottom of his lip, as if he were trying to see if he was actually in a dream or really there at that moment.
"I better go to bed," was all he said in a clear and precise manner, like he would forget the words if he spoke faster.
I watched him in speechless disappointment as he made his way across the room and silently slunk into my bed without another word. The entire time of watching his back rise and fall in slow conscious breaths, my mind battled in trying to understand what had just happened. What was that? We were kissing and then he just stopped in the middle of it all.
Laying back with a huff, I ran my hands over my face. I might as well try to get to sleep and just figure everything out in the morning.
"G'night," I said, not really understanding what was going on. However, in many respects, I was thankful that we stopped right there. It would have been something else if my roommate came back to see us both asleep in his bed.
When I woke up the next morning he had already left, his things empty from my closet and my bed remade in an almost sickeningly perfect way. Atop of my desk he left a note, scribed on the back of one of my essays. But I decided to hold off being annoyed as I read it.
"Sorry about tearing into your room drunk as hell, wasn't a really good idea on my part. I cleaned up after myself and I guess I'll see you around or something like that. And forget anything that I did last night. Hope you had a fan-fucking-tastic V-day by the way. Riku."
'Yeah,' I thought, dropping the page and opening up my computer to print out another essay. 'It was great until you said that it was nothing.'
Again, Valentine's Day sucked.
A/N: Oh I'm so freaking tired! I can't believe how late this chapter is but what the heck, at least it's done right? That's all a reader could ask for, at least me when I read other people's fics. Haha! Anyway, I wanted to at least leave a little bit of a treat at the end of this chapter since everyone has been waiting so patiently for it. Though I feel a bit sad that every kiss that Riku and Sora's had has been when one of them is drunk, if not both. On another note, there's a bit more insight on Roxas, which is nice since I really enjoy writing his story. I can't wait to write the really juicy stuff about him next chapter. It'll be great. Well, please review; that would be nice. Until the next chapter!