She was standing there; facing a big confusion which had damaged her mind seriously. ORB, ZAFT, EAF, and PLANT…

'Why should this war be continuous? If there's nothing can be helped, why was I stepping into this path? Did I do the right thing? Or did I step on the path I shouldn't step on? Why can't I memorize everything?...'

Her eyes are tired seeing flesh of blood dripping everywhere; her ears are sick of hearing the sound of war crafts shooting and mobile suits exploded; her body is exhausted living here. She was once a living killer machine…

CHAPTER 1: Confusions

The blonde girl caressed her shoulder-length hair with her petite fingers. She was starring at the sea; try to trace her memories back. Suddenly, a seagull landed beside her. The young woman faces that little creature and smile.

"Beach is… beautiful… right?" she asked solemnly. The seagull say nothing; it just stared at the girl and fly away. She sighed.

"Anything to help?" a voice came.

"Stellar feels something still loose…" she answered.


"Someone… not yet found…"


"Don't know… face is not clear…" the girl replied again; holding her necklace, "But he said… 'I'll protect Stellar'…"

Shinn walked slowly on the shore; saw a girl dancing merrily just beside the abyss he stepped on… She's so innocent- but yet; so cute. Her short yellowish blonde hair wonderfully wrapped her diamond shaped face and ends before her small shoulders. Shinn stared at a pair of big chestnut brown eyes that are glimmering. They are staring the sea with full of grace.

Slowly, his eyes moved to her small delicate lips; then to her small body. She owns a beautiful body; small shoulders; skinny arms, narrow waist, and long thin legs. He blushed; try to move his eyes away from that girl when suddenly he heard something fall to the sea. Oh darn… the girl is falling down; and worse- she can't swim…

Hurriedly; Shin jump to the sea; tried to save the girl. He yelled madly, asking the girl if she really planning to die. Hearing the word 'die', the blonde became hysteric. Her minds seems had been traumatized about the word "die". Without thinking; Shinn held her so tight. He said that he will protect her.

"Protect… stellar?..." the girl then asked.

"Yes; you won't die; because I'll protect you…" Shin answered; still holding her tightly



Shinn smiled. That scene still clearly stuck in his mind. Love at a first sight.

Yes, he's now Lunamaria's boyfriend; but it doesn't mean that he love Lunamaria as much as he love Stellar. Some people say; "If You can't have the one you love, so love the one you have..,"

Shin ever thought he killed Mayrin- Luna's sister; and that's why he feels guilty and try to comfort Luna; being her boyfriend. Now he knows Mayrin still alive, and he thought all he did for Luna worth nothing. Deep under his consciousness, he still was hoping that Stellar is alive. He can't deny that he love Stellar more than Luna; and whenever he kissed Luna, he actually hope that the one he kissed is Stellar. It's all so confusing and it ran his mind crazy.



Shin's cell phone is beeping. An instant message:

From: Lunamaria Hawke

Shin-kun! Ur goin away ryt?

Nah! Take care okay? I luv u!

Ja ne

Shin read the instant message, smiled, then reply it:

To: Lunamaria Hawke

Thx, I will take care of myself.

U, also must take care of urself, k?


He made a long pause, before typing the 4 last words:

I love you too…

Shinn managed to get himself standing up before he's asleep again. It has been three days since he take a break from ZAFT, because he need to visit his hometown and put some flowers on his family's tombs.

Trying to get rid of his laziness, slowly, Shinn unfolded the newspaper which just comes.

"ORB's Golden Time… Archangel… blah blah…. Duh, suck though…" He muttered some headlines, when suddenly his eyes catch a familiar figure on the newspaper- a girl with golden-blond long wavy hair, and big chestnut eyes. She does have long hair, but other than that, the girl on the newspaper reminds him of… Stellar Loussier…

"She's dead…" Shinn's mind speak.

"Is she?" His heart asked.

"Well, I know she's dead…" His mind replied.

"Oh man, can't you think any of possibilities?"

"Like what?"

"Open your eyes, what year are you live in? Technologies are improving… Possible is it, to resurrect the dead?"

"It's not possible I think…"

"Okay. Go on with your thought. I said it's possible; but it's up to you."

"It's not her okay?"

"Hey, honestly, you really didn't believe your sight or is it just that you don't want to betray Luna?"

"Sure I don't believe it… it's imp…"


"Forget it. I'll search her."

"Thanks God, at last you know what your heart saying!"

His mind remains on silent.