Summary: Gon has been restless ever since a couple of months now. Poor naive boy can't figure out why he can't sleep – when the cause of his sleepless nights is sleeping on the other side of the room. Killua/Gon.
A/N: Edited on April 20, 2009. Correcting some grammar issues, spelling mistakes, pacing problems and made it a little bit longer. Hope you enjoy reading it.
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor make any profit out of Hunter x Hunter.
There, in the middle of the bed, lay Gon Freecs, a 13 year old boy, soon to be 14. He was trying to get some sleep because tomorrow he would return to Whale Island to visit Mito. Yet, for some reason, Gon couldn't seem to do anything besides toss and turn in his bed. He was wide awake and it was apparent that he could not get any sleep any time soon. The young boy squeezed his eyes shut and sighed heavily against the sheets covering his mouth. Maybe he had too much on his mind to get some sleep. Gon remembered the day he had to fight Hisoka at the Celestial Tower; he had fallen asleep as soon as his face touched the soft silky fabric of his pillow. Yet, how come he couldn't fall asleep right now? Surely, possibly getting killed by Hisoka was a much bigger threat than visiting his aunt – right?
Then how come he just couldn't fall asleep?
Gon slowly opened his eyes to peer through his eyelashes at the other side of the room. There was another bed, and as expected, it was occupied by another person. You could see the person's head just a little, dressed with a mane of silvery and silk looking hair. Of course, it was his best friend Killua. They always slept in the same room together, no matter where they were. Gon continued to stare at Killua's white locks of hairs until he promptly turned around again to stare at the wall.
The boy adverted his brown eyes towards the ceiling with another heavy sigh; thinking back on when this all began. This late night tossing has been going on for over a couple of months now. His friends were beginning to notice his lack of concentration and of course, the eye bags that were appearing underneath his eyes. How troublesome. Once more, he looked over at Killua – how he wished he could sleep like him. Gon simply sighed and tried to rest his eyes, but failing to keep them closed as he stared at Killua's head again.
Back to the point; Gon can't sleep. For the first couple of months he had been trying to figure out why he couldn't sleep. He would just sit there in bed and try to sort out his thoughts. It was because he was just sitting there, on his bed, usually for a long time, that made him often look around the room because he felt bored. His eyes would then land on Killua's sleeping form, seeing the blankets slowly rise and fall. It gave him a comfortable feeling knowing he was sleeping there; yet it also made Gon more awake somehow.
The young boy was often tempted to surprise-jump on his friend, so that he could wake him up and they could both stay up late together. As tempting as it sounds, once Gon looked at Killua's drooling face, he decided to leave his best friend alone; he wouldn't dare to disturb his sleep and miss the fact that the drool would later stick to his face when he woke up.
Gon turned over again and stole a little peek at the other bed.
Killua was still sleeping, which was a good thing. Gon did not want anyone to know about his sleepless nights – especially Killua, who was keen on worrying over Gon too much of the time. Of course, no one would think that Killua would be this worried about Gon's health. It comes with the job of being his best friend for almost two years. He could see through the former assassin like a crystal, every lie that the silver haired boy uttered could easily be detected by Gon. Gon knew Killua, and Killua knew Gon – yet no one could see how well they knew each other.
Another sigh and another turn.
Even if the simpleminded Gon tried his best to figure out why he couldn't sleep; he just couldn't figure out his problem. Sure, sometimes he would daze off a little bit, but as soon as he woke up, it felt like he hadn't been sleeping at all. Try as he might, as of today, Gon still didn't know why he couldn't sleep. It was becoming more and more annoying, and really depressing. It was affecting his concentration and his physical health.
Gon opened his eyes and stared at the wall in front of him, cracking his mind to find the problem of his insomnia. Lacking intelligence and brains wasn't any help at all when he wanted to know the cause of his sleepless nights. Gon didn't want to hold this 'secret' for himself, he desperately wanted to tell Killua about his problem. Yet it felt like that if he did – it would only cause more problems.
The black haired boy tossed over again and stared at the other bed.
He felt at ease when he was looking at Killua sleeping, so peaceful in his bed. It brought him great joy knowing that his best friend was still with him while he could have abandoned him a long time ago. Yet, after two years, the silver haired boy was still right by his side – ready to help him out whenever he needed. Whenever Gon was around Killua, he felt like he could do anything. He even felt that he could take on anyone if Killua would remain by his side. That was a silly thing to think; considering there are people far stronger than him out there, but when Killua was by his side – Gon just felt like he could take on the world.
The boy frowned at his own thoughts. Gon noticed he was thinking about Killua once more. In those sleepless months, he realized his thoughts about Killua had increased. Greatly increased. Normally Gon would just be happy with Killua being next him – but now he felt like he had to keep thinking about how great Killua was. How much of a good friend he was to him. Gon knew he was thinking too much about Killua.
Last week, it had become even worse. If a day had only 24 hours, Gon spent 30 hours thinking of Killua. Talk about maths.
Gon was naive, denied it, and said that it was natural, because they're best friends – so of course thinking about him would be expected. Having fun with him and remembering those times was natural. Thinking how he trained with him was natural. Remembering the way he trains so elegantly was.. natural. So stealing glances of him when he was sleeping was … natural too, right?
Who was he kidding – Gon wasn't that naive.
Just what was this unnaturalness around him and Killua? Was this how friends were supposed to be to each other? Gon didn't know much about friends, Killua was his first real best friend, so he couldn't really be sure of his emotions being 'friendly'. On a subconscious level, Gon felt like he had already crossed the line between best friends. He was on an entirely new, unknown level. A level that scared him; he didn't know just where he was.
Gon frowned at the sleeping form of Killua, just lying there, sleeping … doing nothing.
How he could just pounce on that boy, and shake him awake, so that they could both have some fun together. Then again, it wasn't Killua's fault Gon couldn't fall asleep. Still - it was kind of driving him crazy, the fact that Killua was sleeping and he wasn't. It made him … want something. Made him want to do something. Something that involved Killua – but Gon didn't know what he wanted; which was why he couldn't sleep!
Gon turned around again with such a great amount of speed that he bumped his forehead against the wall. With a strangled yelp, he drew back from the wall and fell off his bed with a loud thump. With all the yelling and falling, Killua woke up from the commotion.
"Hmm." It was a faint drawl from the other boy. "Gon, what are you doing?" Killua asked sleepily and rubbed his eyes.
Gon tried to free himself from the blanket that he had dragged with him in his fall and eventually managed to get one leg out. Gon wiggled some more and finally freed himself. He quickly stood up, grabbed his blanket and climbed back on his bed again, pretending none of that ever happened. Gon felt way too embarrassed to have fallen out of bed and to have woken up Killua. While he pretended to go back to sleep, Gon felt Killua's eyes on him the whole time and it was making him nervous.
He heard a small chuckle emerge from Killua in the dark. "You fell out of your bed?" The silver haired boy mocked him. "Idiot, what are you, five years old?"
Gon chewed on his lips and leaned his back against the wall, staring at Killua with a frown and a very light blush. He felt exposed, embarrassed and quickly wanted to hide under his blanket for cover. Why was he feeling like this? It was only Killua, there was nothing to be ashamed about.
Gon did not respond to Killua, so they both stared at each other in silence. After a while of silence, Gon decided to speak up.
"Hey, Killua," Gon spoke to draw the attention of Killua before he could go back to sleep. Killua also leaned his back against the wall, getting the feeling that he wouldn't be going back to sleep right now.
Gon's brown eyes darted over to his hands, he was avoiding looking into Killua's eyes. He knew Killua's eyes were trained to see better in the dark, and that's why he felt so exposed just by looking him in his eyes, even though he could barely see Killua himself. Gon fidgeted around on his spot, wondering if he should ask Killua a question that had been burning in his mind for months. What exactly was this question? He couldn't even form it into words; it was a kind of 'feeling' question which he knew Killua had the answer of.
"How do.." Gon struggled to find the words to properly form his question. "How do you know when," he paused to think. How do you know when .. what? Gon looked up into Killua's eyes and swallowed hard; he was staring at him with those big shiny eyes.
"Well, go on," said Killua with a yawn.
Gon looked at Killua with a determined look on his face. He felt that the question was forming more vividly in his mind when he looked at his best friend.
"How do you know when you like someone?"
He didn't really know why he asked, it just happened to generate in his mind once he looked Killua. He could hear Killua run his hand through his silvery hair. It was dark, but Gon could still see the wavy hair of Killua being stroked by his own hand.
"How should I know?" Replied Killua in an annoyed voice. The boy held his tongue before replying with a more serious answer.
"I guess you just sort of know … like you don't hate being around them." Gon couldn't help but shake his head at that. He didn't mean; how do you know when you like someone as friends? He meant it as .. well .. how do you know when you really like someone?
"Buthow do you know if you really like them?" Urged Gon, really wanting to know. Killua sighed in annoyance and flashed his eyes at Gon.
"I don't know!"
Gon bit his lips, maybe he shouldn't have asked Killua. He sounded mad for some reason.
"Why do you want to know it so badly?"
Gon avoided Killua's eyes once more and he shrugged in the dark. "Just curious," Gon said in a simple voice.
The silver haired boy laid down on his bed and buried his face into his pillow. "Go to sleep," he said in a muffled voice.
The problem was; Gon couldn't go to sleep, not when he had never been so awake in his life. He wanted for Killua to stay up with him for a change, to talk to him and just enjoy being with him. To spend the night together and have fun. The little boy stood up from his bed, took a few steps forward before he sat down on the other bed. He got a very annoyed and curious glare fired at him from the former assassin. Gon smiled as he looked at Killua, who was obviously pissed that Gon had decided to sit on his bed.
"What are you doing?" Asked Killua suspiciously.
Gon dangled his feet from the bed. "Nothing!" He responded happily.
"You've been acting all weird lately, Gon," Killua said as he tried to kick off Gon from his bed.
"But Killua, I couldn't sleep, so I thought, let's stay up late together!" Gon decided to sit on Killua's legs so he couldn't move, or kick him off the bed. Killua stopped trying and just glared at Gon for being so stubborn. "Pheh, you're so selfish, waking me up so I could stay up with you."
Gon only smiled.
"Besides," started Killua with a yawn. "Why can't you sleep?"
The younger boy shrugged again, he still didn't know. "I don't know – maybe I have too much on my mind," he answered truthfully. Killua's head cocked to one side as he raised an eyebrow at Gon.
"Too much on your mind? That's like saying my family lives happily together," the silver haired boy replied with a hint of sarcasm, looking at Gon rather weirdly.
Gon couldn't resist but pout. He wasn't that dumb, or brainless! He had honest thoughts too – every once in a while. Did Killua really think that low of him? Suddenly, he felt a little sad because of that. His thoughts were once again about Killua – Killua who seemingly found Gon with a thinking, working brain a bit far fetched from reality. Did it really seem like he never thought seriously? Was he really that stupid?
"Of course you are!" Interrupted Killua from his thoughts. Gon turned his head towards Killua and slowly slid himself off from his best friend's legs. Did he just say that out loud? Gon hung his head in shame, backing up against the wall and curling himself up into a ball. He buried his head in his arms as he made himself as tiny as possible. The former assassin just stared at Gon with curious, dark cyan eyes.
There was a minute of silence before Killua could hear a very faint sound coming from Gon – who was now at the furthest point of his bed, sitting alone in the dark, in his own little corner.
Gon couldn't help but feel really stupid, now that Killua blatantly said he was stupid. If maybe Leorio, or even Kurapica said he was stupid, he would just smile genuinely and think nothing of it. However, if Killua said Gon was stupid, he believed it in an instant. Not only did he actually believe he was stupid, he felt very depressed knowing that Killua found Gon stupid.
He felt very stupid.
"Geez, Gon," sighed Killua as he threw off the blanket and crawled over the bed towards Gon in a catlike movement. "Gon, you aren't mad now that I called you stupid, right?"
Killua sat down next to Gon; waiting for his response. The black haired boy even refused to move an inch. Another minute of silence passed by and Gon wouldn't budge at all. Killua, who was feeling way too impatient to deal with a sulking Gon, decided the best way to get Gon out of a rut – was to poke him. His finger dangerously hovered near Gon's side, before he poked it. Gon let out a surprised chuckle and defensively scooted over from Killua, not wanting to be poked again – just to be left alone right now. Killua pushed himself right up next to Gon, having a catlike grin on his face. His finger darted over to Gon's side again, trying to poke Gon once more. Killua smiled and jabbed his finger in Gon's side.
"Quit it!" Gon snapped as he looked up at Killua with a childishly glare.
Killua grinned at the glare Gon was giving him – it was quite pathetic, the boy didn't even know how to glare properly.
"Or what?" Killua said daringly, his finger in the air, ready again for some good poking.
"Or, I'll – I'll tackle you!" Great, witty response, wouldn't you say? Gon sighed in himself and wished he could be a bit more like Killua sometimes, who was clever and sharp all the time, while Gon could only think of stupid, pathetic threats.
Killua laughed at his friend and ruffled Gon's black hair with his hand. "Like you would."
Gon Freecs doesn't bluff, so it was only expected that he tackled Killua head on, dragging both of them towards the ground, rolling over each other as both tried to gain the upper hand. Gon got hit in the fact with Killua's elbow on accident, but he barely noticed; he was having too much fun trying to poke Killua too. Some kicks were given, some punches were dealt, and eventually Gon seized victory as he planted himself firmly on Killua's lap, preventing him from any movement.
It was moments like these that Gon could smile and honestly say; I could die happily now. He wanted to stay like this; in touch with Killua, literally. He liked being with his friend, he liked sparring with him, he liked his sharp and witty tongue, he liked talking to him, he liked watching him, he even liked to sit on him all day if he could. Gon liked a lot of things about Killua. Somewhere in the midst of his thinking, Gon felt his face grow hot. He shrugged as he smiled down at Killua – thinking nothing of his face turning very slightly red, probably from rolling around too much.
"Gon you have too much energy, it's no wonder you can't go to sleep," said Killua as he grinned at Gon who seemed quite pleased with himself. The silver haired boy was also feeling rather hot also.
It didn't seem like it; but Gon was actually feeling kind of sleepy. If he could, he would just sit there on Killua until he could fall asleep, but that would be too weird so Gon picked himself up from Killua and ran away. Feeling energy rush through his veins once more, Gon ran across the room like a little monkey, trying to get rid of the energy. He zigzagged past Killua a couple of times, who wasn't even trying to follow Gon with his eyes – the boy was just too fast.
Killua sighed and got up from the ground. He stood still – his eyes closed - until he suddenly shot out his arm and caught Gon by his arm, who halted to a screeching stop. The silver haired boy merely shrugged and dragged Gon with him to his bed. In no time, Killua had Gon nestled underneath the blanket, in his bed. Killua's arms held Gon close to him, to prevent him from moving. It wasn't like he was moving away anytime soon.
It wasn't that he wanted to move – it's that he couldn't move. Gon felt too stunned and too shocked when Killua had dragged him into his bed, and snaked his arms around his waist, holding him firmly in place against Killua's bare chest. It almost went unnoticed; but Gon's face was now a massive shade of red. Gon didn't notice though, he was far too busy figuring out why he was so physically close to Killua – in his bed. Why he felt like his breath had stopped. Why he felt this warm feeling gush over his body. Why this was so oddly comforting and so nice .. it felt so .. dreamy.
Just then, Gon felt Killua sigh, his breath tickling against Gon's neck.
"I'll just have to hold you like this until you will fall asleep, because I'm not letting you go until you do," explained Killua in a sleepy voice. "Good night, Gon."
What Killua didn't know was that Gon already had his eyes closed; he was sound asleep. It seemed that Killua had this ability to make Gon feel free of his worries, and make him feel so comfortable that he promptly fell asleep when he felt so close to Killua's body. In the back of his mind, Gon realized; he could just keep on sleeping with Killua if he ever felt like he couldn't sleep again.
Killua smiled against Gon's neck, realized his best friend was asleep.