Disclaimer: Do not own Gundam Seed.

A/N: This is the poor attempt on humor. I might be trying too hard, so it might not be funny at all. Please review, it fuels my writing. Again thank you for those who have been reviewing my stories. They keep me happy. Pardon for the foul language in this one shot.


Behind A Closed Door
Dearka considers himself as a man of principles. Really he does. With his boyish grin and laid back attitude, Dearka never had a problem with authority. Simply because he never really cared much about it.

But of course, when Dearka finds himself quite amused, he will willingly break all rules. Like that time in Jachin Due, betraying his military honor because of a pair of huge brown eyes that came with a pretty face and a nice body. Not that physical appearance was all Dearka cared about! But really…she also had a lively personality.

What can he say? He is a man of principles, though he would bend the rules every now and then. Because all work and no play makes Dearka a very very boring boy.

And boring and Dearka are not usually in the same sentence.

So when Miraillia asked him if they could stop by at Cagalli's office before they headed to dinner, he agreed, seeing no problem with it as it is along the way. To their surprise they found the office quite empty, it seems as if everyone had left early. As Miraillia quietly wrote a note with the report she planned to leave on the secretary's desk, Dearka decided to walk around a bit.

That's when he heard it.

Really, it was quite subtle to begin with.

But Dearka was lucky enough to have been gifted with a pair sharp ears, after all he was a Coordinator. And that was something that didn't come cheap.

Quietly, he began to follow the sound, straining his ears to hear. And he stopped in front of an oak door that was tightly shut. But that didn't stop Dearka, if at all, it made him more curious.

Crouching slightly, he pressed his ear against the door and grinned leeringly.

Yup. Definitely the right door.

Another moan reached his ears, and he was certain that whoever was behind this closed door sure was having more fun than he was right now.

"Ow! What th—"

"What the hell are you doing! I leave you for five minutes and you're already up to no good." Mirailla emphasized her point by twisting his ear harder.

"Will you let go! And be quiet." He squeaked in a hushed tone, rubbing his reddened ear. He then jerked his thumb to the closed door. "There are people in there."

That caught his girlfriend's attention. "What! Really? Are they stealing something?"

He grinned snidely at her. "From what I heard, I'm pretty sure they're not."

Mirailla frowned disgustedly at her boyfriend. "You pervert! That's Cagalli's office!"

"Huh? What?" Confused he followed her pointed fingers. For all the money his genetic upgrades cost, Dearka had not seen that coming. Because on the oak door in all their glory, were big blocked plated letters: Cagalli Yula Attha Orb Head Representative.

At this Dearka frowned. No wonder the voice sounded familiar, he thought. Then, he proceeded to resume to his earlier position. Nonetheless whose office it was, there was definitely something going on in there and he wanted to find out what.

"Dearka!" She hissed. "This is so…so…" She quickly rummaged through her mind for the right word. "unethical." Sounding quite pleased with herself. But she was quickly dismissed.

"Shh! I think I just heard Cagalli moan." Mirailla sputtered at the revelation, while Dearka, who seemed unaffected by the whole thing, grabbed her hand and positioned her closer to the door. Protesting she shook her head, her face paling, as her ear neared the offending door, "I don't want to…"

"Aahh" A very familiar feminine voice filtered in her ears, causing her brown eyes to widen, before they narrowed in to slits at Dearka, whose eyebrows were wriggling suggestively at her. The expression in her face didn't last long as her cheeks turned bright red.

A guttural grunt reached their ears, followed by a very familiar masculine voice. "Help me out here, Cagalli."

There was some shuffling of feet before they heard a rather irritated voice. "Quit whining! I'm taking off my clothes as fast as I can!"

The eavesdroppers exchanged glances, one with wide surprised eyes, while the other with "I told you so" look. Before Mirailla could tell her companion to wipe that dirty look of his face, another shriek from the room got her attention.

"Oh my god! Athrun, it's so big!" Dearka rolled his eyes at this. That's because she hasn't seen his. Not that Mirailla would want him to…nor did would he want to, his mind quickly added, images of Athrun chasing him down with his mechanical pets flashed in his mind. He cringed. He really needed new friends.

He faintly heard his friend's chuckle. "Well, what can I say?"

"Are you sure it'll fit?" Cagalli's timid voice floated in.

"It should. If not I'll just push harder."

If Mirailla's face could turn any redder, it did at that point--ripe as atomato she began backing out of her post, her head shaking. That was just way too much information.

Before she could move any further, a hand clamped down on her shoulder, and if it wasn't for that hand, Mirailla was certain she would have jumped ten feet high.

"Oh my god!" She breathed in, slowly turning her head.

Dearka on the other hand, hated the interruption and swiveled around, "Will you b—Lacus?" He stammered. "W-what are you doing here?"

The songstress smiled innocently at him. "Well, Kira and I were heading out to dinner and decided to pass by to ask whether Athrun and Cagalli would like to join us." She then glanced back at Mirailla, who was trembling, and then back to Dearka. "My! Aren't we jumpy?" Her angelic eyes suddenly turned conspiratorially, as her voice dropped in to a whisper. "What were you two doing? Were you eavesdropping?"

Though technically his hand was caught at the "cookie jar" as people would put it, Dearka was not one to admit to anything. After all he was a well-trained soldier. So he proceeded to shake his head, but immediately stopped as his girlfriend viciously pointed at him. "He forced me to!"

"Mirailla!" He whined, a tick forming in his head, as he quietly thought of an explanation. He glanced at Lacus' mischievous grin, and at once felt uneasy. It was just so wrong. No, not the eavesdropping! But Lacus grinning mischievously at him, it was like seeing Yzak wear pink. He shuddered at the thought.

"Well you see, Mirailla wanted to drop off some report" Lacus arched her eyebrow at him. "While we were here, I heard some noises coming from this door…" His speech was interrupted by a loud thud, followed by a groan. "Like that one." Dearka asserted, grateful that the couple inside was conspicuous.

"That hurt!" The three heard Athrun exclaimed.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Maybe we should move some of these off your desk. They're hurting my back." The statement was followed by a clattering of objects on the tile floor.

Lacus dropped her mischievous smile, her face turning to the pinkish shade of her hair. Could it really be? It was just too daring! Then Lacus frowned. Obviously, she was with the wrong twin, because Kira wasn't the wild one.

Dearka looked at her strangely, and was about to ask her if she was alright, when another voice joined them.

"Hey, what is everyone doing crowding around my sister's door?" Three heads swiveled to his direction, with one motioning for him to approach.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Mirailla chimed in, nudging Lacus to agree with her, shaking the pink-haired girl from her thoughts. But it was already too late as Dearka had Kira's ear pressed on the door.

"Cagalli," Athrun's voice panted, "should we even be doing this?"

Kira's face changed from a pale color to one of bright red. Dearka inched away from the usual shy boy as violet eyes began pulsating in a very abnormal manner. Not that pulsating eyes were normal to begin with.

A possessive growl rang from the other side of the door. "Why not! Its my office! And you weren't complaining earl--!"

Two loud thuds on the door caused both Athrun and Cagalli to stop from whatever they were doing and turned their heads to the noise.

"Athrun!" A very angry Kira shouted as he kicked the door one last time before it swung open. "Keep your filthy hands off my sister!" He stopped his screaming, as his eyes scanned his surroundings. Papers and other office supplies were strewn on the floor, along with a couple articles of clothing. His eyes flew to the inhabitants of the room, both disheveled looking, and both at the opposite ends of the desk they seemed to be moving.

At Kira's sudden appearance, Athrun dropped the end of the desk he was carrying, slamming it down his toes.

He screeched. "Motherfucker!" Cagalli quickly reached his side and tried to lift the desk to no avail. She turned to her brother. "Will you stop gaping! And help me out here!"

Athrun whimpered as he cradled his toes. "It's ok." Kira reached for his friend's big toe, gently rubbing it. "See? It's not broken." His voice suddenly dropped low, while he put more pressure on it, ignoring his friend's cries. "But if you as much try to think anything sexually with my sister, I wi—" Cagalli's hand clamped down on Kira's ears and twisted hard.

"Stop threatening my boyfriend! And what the hell were you screaming about earlier?" She glared at her younger brother, before turning her eyes to the next closest person to her and reached for that person's ear.

"Hey!" Dearka yelled. "Let me go! I wasn't the one who broke your door!"

"I don't care! Your face looks guilty anyhow."

"Lady! That's how I look all the time." The tanned coordinator retorted.

She began dragging the two boys to the doorway of her office, her eyes turned to her two friends, who seemed to be unable to look at her. "Will someone tell me why my brother is acting weird?"

Mirailla's eyes darted from Kira to Dearka, and then back to Cagalli, her voice small. "Well, you see, we accidentally eavesdropped by your door…and we thought…"

Cagalli's eyes twitched, her voice rising. "Accidentally? How do you eavesdrop accidentally?" She stomped her foot impatiently. "Well? And you all thought what?"

"That you guys were doing it!" Lacus hurriedly piped in, surprising everyone even herself, quickly placing her hands to her mouth.

Athrun, who was carefully approaching Cagalli—preferring his right foot to his left, froze at Lacus' words, his cheeks warming with a reddish tint—mirroring his girlfriend's face.

He then noticed Cagalli's hands tightening to little balls of fist. Uh-oh. He sighed, completely forgetting the embarrassment he felt a moment ago. Here we go again. One, two, three…

"Yo-You perverts! We were moving my desk around!" The golden-haired Orb leader roared.

Dearka cringed at her loud voice, his sensitive ears begging to be freed from all the abuse. He thought to himself, "Well that's not how it sounded out here." Five heads—one expressing surprise, one of incredulity, one in total agreement, one of embarrassment, and one of complete annoyance—glanced at his direction, making him freeze in his place. Oh god. Did he just say that out loud?

He trailed off, quickly hiding behind Mirailla. "I meant…"

Cagalli saw red, trying to reach the little bastard but Athrun was faster than she and he had effectively anchored him to her. "When I get my hands on you!"

Athrun, the voice of Cagalli's reason at the moment, spoke. "Alright everyone, that's enough for the night." To which three heads nodded in assent, while Kira looked at Athrun suspiciously.

"You better not try anything buddy. I know where you live." Lacus tried to laugh off Kira's words, guiding him out.

"Well, we better get going now. It's almost past dinner. Goodnight." She waved off, towing a reluctant Kira, who continued to gesture threateningly at Athrun, with her.

"Uhh…hehe…we'll be going too." Dearka winked at the flustered couple, pulling Mirailla behind him, who smiled apologetically at them.

Once their friends' forms disappeared from their view, the couple visibly relaxed.

"Whew! That was close!" Cagalli turned to him and playfully slapped his shoulder.

"It wouldn't have been, if you weren't so loud!"

Blue eyes peered down at her incredulously. "Me! That wasn't how I remembered it." He smiled smugly, leading them back to her office. "If my memory serves me right, someone was moaning loudly," He backed her against the broken oak door, shutting it uneasily, "And I don't moan."Carefully pushing his body closer to hers, trying to elicit a response from her. He wasn't disappointed. "See?"

"Athrun!" Her face flustered again, and Athrun silenced the rest of her words, kissing her soundly in the lips, before slowly trailing down her neck. He smiled against her skin, his hands slipping underneath her clothes.

"Hmm…now where were we again before we were rudely interrupted?"