After the trip to Martha's Vineyard, Woody saw Jordan and her new reporter mad grow closer. It was just an infatuation, he was well aware. But it killed him none-the-less. He also knew it was all his fault. Jordan was honest in the hospital; he just refused to believe it when he was so focused on the terrible things that had just happened to him. Something good was impossible in his mind. So he decided he should reschedule his physiological session for real this time.
"My mother died of cancer when I was four. I saw the disease slowly take over her body. I didn't understand it at the time-I was just a little kid. But it made me feel her pain, watching her go through it. I never really knew her, and that is something I can't do anything about.
"My father was a policeman. He was always on duty, or on-call. I had to learn to make dinner for all three of us, not that Dad was ever home before eleven or so. I learned to do laundry, to do the yard work. I looked after my brother, Cal. I helped him with school work everyday. When he caused trouble in school, which was at least once a week, I had to go the meetings with his teachers because Dad could never make it. I was the oldest ten-year-old in the world.
"Then, my dad got shot. He died in my arms, as it says in the report I am sure. My aunt didn't really want us. She stuck us out into the old "servant house" on her farm. I raised Cal. No doubt. I always felt guilty and responsible for anything he did wrong. Anything he did well was never attributed to me, just the bad. That's okay I guess. I learned to accept it. Woody the responsible one. As always, I will always take care of Cal… well not anymore.
"He came to town last year, after I refused him a ten thousand dollar loan. I thought he came for money again, but he just wanted to see me, that's what he said. I have never hated my brother, after he stole my girlfriends, after he got all the attention, after he was the high school shining star… never. Now, I honestly hate him. He came to MY city, Boston, my HOME, under false pretenses. He endangered a crime scene, helped criminals, and lied to me. He endangered his life, my life, and Jordan's life. I can never forgive him for that.
"And then Jordan. After years of chasing her in this little dance we've done…I gave her a ring for her birthday. She refused it, scared of what it meant for us. So I pulled the friendship card, saying to forget it. I could see the surprise in her face, and the light go out in her eyes, she wanted "us" I think. And I blew it. My biggest regret. Actually, no.
"When we finally became normal again, best friends again, we argued. She had some stupid blind date she didn't even want to go on and I got jealous and we fought… and then there was Riggs.
"In the hospital she told me everything I ever wanted to hear as I was being pulled into surgery. She loved me, wants to be with me, can never imagine life without me… And me, the ultimate idiot, was so obsessed with the bad and the pain I refused to allow this confession to be pure. I accused her of pity, and sent her out. And for the first time in her life, she listened to me. THAT is my biggest mistake, my biggest regret, of my life."
The new detective/physiatrist sat back. "Does anyone else know about your past-really know?"
"Ya, Jordan" Woody replied. "We know everything about each other."
"It seems to me, you've got it all figured out. Now maybe you can take the stick out of your ass and share your revelations with the one who knows everything about you…" she answered.
"Is that really a good idea? She's got a new guy and…"
"Woody, you have to tell her. Take it from a woman, if a woman says something and really means it-she doesn't lose that in one moment, the feeling stays with her for awhile."
"You think I have a chance? To fix it?" Woody asked hopefully.
"You just might. Only one way to find out."
"Thanks," he said as he headed out the door. "Oh, by the way, I think you do make a good detective-even for a rookie."
"Thanks Hoyt. And by the way, you passed." She replied as he strode down the hall toward the door.