Welcome to Las Vegas

Marlena: Hello again, I know it's been- well, actually I don't remember the last time I updated but oh well… Warning- serious Jaken-bashing ahead. Well, here's another chapter- ENJOI!

Ps- word on the street is that reviewer responses is banned. Not sure, so I am putting them in the comments area to be safe. I will leave my responses there, ok?

Chapter 2- Stalker?

Rin watched in utter terror as the three huddled figures struggled to sit up. Everyone else had gotten the hell outta dodge when they started moving. This wasn't going to be pretty, and the person that knew that the most had no choice but to stay and watch. Sesshomaru looked in disdain at his servant.

"Jaken." Sesshomaru said in a deep slurred voice, holding his head.

"Yethmilord" Jaken appeared to have developed a lisp and, in addition to the slurring of his words, was barely comprehensible.

"Your hand…is on my thigh." He said, staring at it as though it were infected and staring at it would make it go away.

"Yeth…I know milord."

"Unhand me, toad" he said as coldly as he could while still slurring his words together and having the worst headache he could remember…except for that time when he stole one of his father's swords and killed a few of the villagers with it back when he was only a few hundred years old…five hundred maybe…he didn't really remember that day very well after the beating he got…but that's a different story.

"Begging your pardon, milord?"

"He means to go and try to act out your fantasies somewhere else, dumb ass."

"The filth is awake, I see."

"You've been awake for a while haven't you?"

"Don't you try being clever with me, Inuyasha, you'll only hurt yourself."

"As if that matters to you anyhow."

"You're right. It doesn't. How silly of me."

Rin looked around. They seemed not to notice her, what had happened, or that they were in a different time and country.

"Rin." Sesshomaru said sharply.

Oops. Guess she spoke- er…thought too soon.

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru?" she said as sweetly as she could.

"What's wrong with the kid?" Inuyasha whispered to no one in particular.

Sesshomaru stared at the girl suspiciously. He always knew when someone was lying directly. Or even when they just weren't saying something. But when it came to this small, annoying little girl, he couldn't always be sure if it was childishness or deceit that made her smile like that. Damn her.

"Where is everyone? Where are we?"

Rin's smile slid off of her face like a pancake tossed a little too vigorously that lands on the ceiling and just when you think it's going to be stuck like that forever, it hits the floor.

"Y-you don't remember, Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked in a voice that combined timidity and horrification. Who knew that was even possible? Not me.

"Obviously not otherwise he wouldn't have asked, ya little twerp"

"You will not talk to Rin in that fashion, Inuyasha."

"I will talk to her in whatever fashion I want to!"

"Certainly NOT."

"Oh, jeez, do us all a favor and have your little imp pull the stick from out of your butt so we can get some peace!"

"I BEG YOU PA-"

"SHUT UUP!" Rin screamed.

"Rin?" Sesshomaru asked in almost scandalized tones.

"Hey, well looky there, the kid's got a personality." Inuyasha said in an amused voice.

"Do you want me to tell you or not?" Rin asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"When and from whom did you learn to speak to me in such a way?" Sesshomaru said, recovering from the shock of someone he was supposed to have taught manners having spoken to him in such a way.

" When I hit puberty and from Jaken." she said in a deadpan voice (paired with a glare that would make any rebellious teenager proud) that made Jaken do an anime fall and Inuyasha spit out…well, he actually wasn't drinking anything, but if he had, he would have spit it out. Then he started laughing hysterically. (A/N: I think that in this fic, Rin is like 12ish, maybe thirteen. Hey! That could be a side-fic…Rin- the teenager. If you want me to do that, include it in the nice, long comprehensive review you write me. ;) )

"Well, yeah, but you were all nice and submissive and stuff a few minutes ago." Inuyasha said, furrowing his brow in confusion. This was, of course, after recovering from his ten-minute hysterical-can't-move-cant-breathe-pain-in-side-tears-streaming-down-his-face sort of laughing.

"Eloquently put, little brother. Now, Rin. I am going to ignore your rudeness for now if you tell me where we are and how we got there."

Rin sighed. "What's the last thing you remember?" she asked, cringing. If he started to remember getting shot…or that I shot Jaken…I'm done for…but then again, he did tell me to…YAY! Maybe now I have an excuse to kill the warty annoying little bastard. (A/N: DIE JAKEN DIE!) (A/N: sorry to those of you that actually like Jaken. Yup. All thirty seven of you.)

"Well, let's see…" Sesshomaru mused, placated by Rin's look of fear. "I was fighting with Inuyasha very near to the bone-eaters well…he tricked me- I mean…my curiosity got the better of me and I tried some of the wench's human food….I believe she called it wasabi something or another…horrid stuff…I still can feel my tongue tingling…"

Rin continued to cringe. Wasabi was far too spicy for her. A full-fledged and admittedly stronger than most dog demon would have a far worse time.(A/N: I dunno if they had wasabi back then—probably not, but in this fic they did, ok? Ok, good. Now I am going to see if I can make it for more than two paragraphs without an authors note…)

"Ok, but Lord Sesshomaru, if you don't mind me asking, why were you trying lady Kagome's food anyway? Inuyasha said that you wouldn't want to come into that village in a million years, and I don't remember why exactly, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with a stick shoved somewhere unpleasant. Why were you even in the village? You told us you were looking for Naraku. Or Narkie-puss, as Jaken's been calling him lately."

Jaken, Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru all looked at each other with scared expressions.

Sesshomaru looked mortified and Inuyasha said to Jaken with a surprisingly straight face, "Jaken, are you having sexual relations with Naraku?"

"I don't have to answer to you, half-breed."

"Jaken, are you having sexual relations with Naraku?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Define sexual relations…" Jaken said coyly.

"Well would you look at that- there's a Bill Clinton in every country and time period." Catherine said in a dry voice

Rin cleared her throat loudly and everyone fell silent as Catherine went on her way.

"Ok, that was just gross."

"I knew the little imp was g-"

"Did I say that you could talk?"

Inuyasha studied the now remarkably interesting floor "No, ma'am."

"I thought not."

"Well , at least my training hasn't gone completely a-"

"I don't recall allowing you to talk either."

Sesshomaru stopped mid-sentence out of mere shock.

"How DARE you-"

"Would you like to know where we are and how we got there or not?"

Sesshomaru scowled. "Continue, Rin, but don't think I won't remember your behavior later."

"It wouldn't have crossed my mind, Lord Sesshomaru." She said pleasantly. "Now, as far as our whereabouts are concerned, we are in Las Vegas, Nevada, America. Where that is, I have no idea, but that's where we are. We are in a…somewhere with peculiar arrow-throwers…quite ingenious, actually, with them loaded right onto the bow…and they had some sort of poison on them that makes people sleepy for a while…"

In a whirlwind of color, light, and deafening sounds, the guys remembered all that had happened while they were awake.

"That stupid little wench…"

"Where's Kagome and the others, Rin?"

"I believe they went exploring with Lord Sanders. Very handsome, that one."

"I don't like him." Inuyasha said immediately.

"He has no interest in your wench, but it looks as though the monk had better be careful…"

"Eh?"

"Are we going or not?"

"What are you waiting for?"

And they left without another word or a second look at the crater or the broken glass.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Greg walked down the street feeling quite stupid. Here he was, finally out in the field, and he was dragging a bunch of crazy people around Las Vegas of all places. Not to mention there was a little kid with a tail on his shoulder. Just plain weird. Then with the guy claiming to be a monk in what appeared to be a big purple toga and a chick saying that she's a demon slayer with the biggest boomerang he'd ever seen. And she carries it with one hand. Wow, she's strong… Then add some chic in a little teeny tiny miniskirt (not exactly uncommon in certain parts of town) and a cat with two flaming tails- well, it's all just a bit ridiculous.

"We have GOT to find you people some normal clothes." He said, more to himself than anyone else. But he was dealing with demons now, a fact that had mainly escaped his comprehension. His loss. Obviously, Shippo heard.

"You're the one with weird clothes, mister."

"What happened to Lord Sanders?"

"You're a funny mortal, I'll give you that."

"What have I done to deserve this?" he mumbled. "This wasn't in the job description."

Sango giggled and walked alongside Greg. "Oh, chin up. At least we're alive."

"I don't recall anyone telling you guys what we did."

"No one did, but I can smell the dead. It's very unpleasant."

"I don't imagine something as distasteful as death would smell anything but unpleasant." Miroku sulked in the back of the group. The people here had made fun of him the most, gave him odd looks, and giggled at his purple robes. To add injury to insult, this chauffeur of theirs was trying to pick up Sango. And she was taking the bait.

"Whatever, dude."

This was evidently the last straw "IF YOU CALL ME ONE MORE NAME I DON'T UNDERSTAND, I WILL HIT YOU SO MANY TIMES WITH MY STAFF YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN FOR A MONTH AND THINK FOR A YEAR AND THIRTY FOUR AND A HALF WEEKS!"

Sango looked puzzled and gave him a quizzical look, but said nothing. In fact, no one said much of anything after that. Then they came upon a small clothing store.

"Well…this is it…" Greg said and he walked inside quickly. If this insane guy was going to kill him, he wanted a witness.

However, the girl behind the counter didn't appear as though she would be of much help. She was absorbed in a book and looked up at Greg with a mildly approving glance and went back to her book once more. Her eyes were moving quickly across the page then suddenly they stopped. She was frozen. Her eyes moved up slowly and landed on a very huffy-looking Miroku. A wide smile brightened her blank face as her eyes darted between her book and Miroku.

Then she gave a blood-curdling scream. "MIROKUUUU!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she leapt over the low counters and brought her second favorite Inuyasha character into a tight embrace.

Greg was giving a blank stare not unlike the girl's. Sango looked ready to kill and even had her hand on Hiraikotsu, though she did not act upon temptation. Miroku looked quite shell-shocked and even forgot to grope her as he usually did on all close encounters of the female kind. Everyone else was laughing.

"Oh, come on, that's not the Miroku I know! How disappointing." She giggled.

"How do you know Miroku?" Sango asked through gritted teeth.

"Well through Inuyasha of course."

"You know Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Well DUH I mean, come on- who doesn't? you see- OOHH…you guys don't know do you?"

"Eh?"

"Hold on. Let me show you something." She jumped back over the counter and pulled on a long golden tassel. It pulled back purple velvet curtains and revealed a little under thirty paperback books with bright yellow covers. She smiled and grabbed the sixth one, handing it to Miroku.

"Do you guys read English?"

Miroku was already reading. "Apparently so, though I have no memory of learning." (A/N: I gave them all a crash-course of knowing-English-for-writer's-convenience 101)

Miroku read on and his mouth turned up into a small grin.

"So they called it 'Mystical Hand of the Amorous Monk, Miroku' huh?"

"What the hell?" Sango asked, snatching the book. She read for a bit and turned several shades of red and purple.

"YOU TOLD ME YOU NEVER LAID A HAND ON KAGOME!"

Kagome giggled. "And you believed him?"

Sango spluttered for a moment then fell quiet.

"Sorry, but who are you and why do you have these things? These records of our life? Kagome told us that this wasn't Japan."

"Oh, it's not. My name is Hoku" (A/N: if anyone can tell me what that means and which language it came from at any point in the story I will give them a character in the story) "There is a comic book called Inuyasha and well…that's what you guys are. At this point, I'm not really sure which came first, you guys or the book, but that doesn't really matter now. What matters now is…WHERE IS SESSHOMARU!"

"You mean that tall white-haired guy that's really scary?"

She nodded with a look in her eye that made Miroku seem like an innocent virgin school girl.

"Well, damn, what are you planning to do, rape the poor guy?" Kagome asked, suppressing giggles.

"Never!"

"Oh good."

"It would be totally consensual once I'm done with him."

Everyone did a well-earned anime fall at this comment.

"But down to more pressing matters," she said in a business-like tone. "You're all here for proper clothing, I assume? This is great. I've always wanted to dress these guys up…" she glanced hesitantly at Miroku, "and down…but first, the ladies…" She looked delightedly at Kagome and Sango. This was her chance to make them…well…more likable…

And so she set to work, bustling about the store, talking to herself, staring and pointing at the girls, and so on. For about twenty minutes this went on, with increasingly loud sighs of annoyance from Kagome and Sango. Especially Sango. For some odd reason, Hoku's embrace and attention had caused an immediate dislike. Hypocrite. But soon, Hoku shoved a few articles of clothing into the girls' hands and shoved them into the dressing rooms.

After a small struggle, the two girls walked out looking disgruntled.

"What the hell are we wearing?" Sango demanded.

"I'M A GENIUS!"

"You know, no matter how many times she does that, I doubt I will ever get used to it." Greg said after jumping three feet into the air due to Hoku's outburst

"She's right though…aw, damn it…not again…" Miroku turned around quickly, but not before a fair amount of crimson blood spilled out of his nostrils and onto the concrete floor.

"Well, that's a good sign."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WE LOOK LIKE- LIKE WE-"

"Like you belong in Las Vegas." Hoku finished calmly. They actually weren't as sluttish as Hoku would have liked to have made them, just as payback for getting the hot guys, and they looked quite pretty. Damn them. Sango wore a pink halter that hung loosely on her neck down to her hips and black slacks that looked as though they were made for her. Kagome was sporting a low-cut green silk tunic and a short black skirt.

Hoku, after observing quietly for a moment, rushed the two of them, and they were engulfed in a fluffy of hair brushes, hairspray, various kinds of makeup and a few other unidentified objects. Now Kagome's dark black hair had a bluish tinge to it in the light and the tips were bright red, as were her lips and fingernails. Hoku had given her the smoky-eye treatment. Sango had only a little more makeup with more dramatic lips and eyes using Hoku's best friend, the liner.

"How did you do all that in like thirty seconds?" Kagome asked incredulously.

"That is for me to know and you to hopefully never find out." She said with a pleasant smile. "Now for these two…"

"Umm…I'm good…" Greg said quietly.

She looked him over critically. "No you're not. Let's go." She grabbed the two of them and punted them into the dressing room. After a minute of evil chuckles and tossing clothing around, she threw some clothes over the doors. They walked out and Hoku grinned in a subdued manner(she had noticed Sango's dislike and she didn't want to have to fight her). Even Sango had to suppress a smile.

They looked amazing. Miroku was in a well-cut suit of grey and purple that was perfect for his personality in some inexplicable way. It hung on him with a casual elegance that people like Inuyasha could never achieve. He smiled widely and cut in front of Greg.

"So you approve then, Sango?"

"Uhm…" Her eyes were on his shoulder. Actually, they were beyond his shoulder. She was looking right past him and at Greg.

"I- But-" Miroku stuttered. Hoku had to do something. So she did something a little…drastic…and a lot for her own benefit.

She kissed him.

"THAT'S IT!" Sango screamed, grabbing Hiraikotsu, "IF YOU TOUCH HIM ONE MORE TIME I-!" she stopped short at the look Hoku was giving her. It said as clearly as if she had said it aloud 'hypocrite'. Sango looked at the floor.

"Well, now that we've gotten the drama out of the way for the evening, and you guys are ready to go clubbing, LETS HIT IT!"

"Club? Why- why are we going clubbing? HERE? With THEM?" Greg asked incredulously.

"Because I want to see if you can dance," she whispered in his ear.

"Heh…k…" he mumbled.

'Men,' she thought, 'almost nauseatingly easy to manipulate…'

And with this thought, she frog-marched the group out of the shop.

She thought back to the red and bluish suits she had left next to Kagome's uniform in the dressing room. Surely he and Sesshomaru would follow the scent. She smiled and turned a corner.

It was about this time that Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken turned the opposite corner and rushed into the empty shop containing Kagome's scent. (A/N: I know that he probably would have smelled her on the sidewalk but I don't really give. Oh, and I am open to amusing suggestions on how to kill Jaken. HE MUST DIIIIE!)

Marlena: there we go! Was it any good? Please share and review and- and- oh, Merry Christmas if I don't update before then. Which is entirely possible. I'm going on vacation next week, so….PLEASE REVIEW CUZ YOU LUV ME!