Title: Ludicrous.
Rating: PG
Summary: Go on, save the environment.
Pairing: Kevin/Dan
Warnings: Slight AU, slash, probable OOCness
Disclaimer: Belongs to Capcom, GHM, Suda 51. I'm just borrowing the characters.
Note: Hell, I don't even know what led me to pair Kevin and Dan together. Well, this is the result.

"Hey Kevin. Plan on talking anytime soon?" Dan straightened his tie and ran a hand through his damp hair, sending small droplets flying onto the mirror. "Guess not."

He wasn't actually talking to his fellow Smith. But he would in... Dan checked his watch. Two hours? Yeah, just about.

"What've you been up to? Something? Anything?" Practising his speech for when he saw the albino. "It would help if you spoke a bit more."

Dan sighed, grabbing his gun and, almost affectionately, stared at it. "It would help," he clicked something, and the barrel of it swung out. "If you spoke a bit. Just a bit."

Slipping one bullet at a time into the empty weapon, he then realised that he had phrased it wrong. "Dammit. Ok. How about..." The barrel clicked back in. "It would help if you spoke. You wouldn't be wasting so much paper and killing so many damn trees."

Perfect, he knew it was, and finally, without stalling a second longer, he left.

But of course, being one of the Killer7, Dan couldn't expect one day without being attacked by those pesky, hysterical zombies.

And sure enough, here they came. Lumbering mindlessly towards hi-

Dan's eyes followed the thumping sound that followed, spying a single throwing knife sticking out a Smile's head. He smirked and strolled over, careful not to step in the strangely dark blood.

"Hey Kevin," He picked the knife out, tossing it back to him. "Plan on talking anytime soon?" Dan fired, the bullet striking a Smile heading for Kevin from behind. Kevin twisted his head slightly, seeing the giggling enemy twitch and writhe on the ground.

"Guess not." Dan smiled. He knew the man too well to... 'prepare a faulty speech'. Even so, he had found himself a little stupid for doing that. Sharptongued Dan? Needing to prepare something for someone he was courting? Ludicrous.

"What've you been up to? Something? Anything?" They were back-to-back now, picking off the remaining Heaven Smile, Dan reloading every so often, and Kevin so quick with his knives that he never had to pause.

"It would help if you spoke." Bodies of Smile lay piled up, their odd-coloured blood oozing out. Dan grinned, turning to face Kevin. "You wouldn't be wasting so much paper and killing so many trees..."