Conversations. (Working Title)


Missie here. This is my first fanfic so read, review and be nice 'cos I'm hypersensitive. Flames are appreciated though, because I live in Ireland and I'm cold.

Since Heero and Trowa never seem to say much, and most of the things Wufei says are pretty repetitive, I figure that Duo and Quatre are the only ones who might have an interesting conversation. Unless you can't tell from this fic, I'm a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes.

I don't own gundam wing, I just manipulate the characters.




Conversations Part 1



At the Gundam pilot's latest safehouse, Heero, Trowa and Wufei were enjoying a moment of peace and quiet indoors.


Meanwhile, Duo was outside trying to teach Quatre how to play baseball, without much luck.


'.......here's the windup, and here's the pitch!'


Quatre belted the ball over towards Duo, then, instead of running, he calmly walked over to stand behind Duo.

"Not gonna run, eh? I don't blame you, this is too easy."

The ball descended towards Duo's mitt, and he prepared to catch it. But before he could, Quatre hit the ball again and ran off around the bases.

"You can't DO THAT!"

"Don't be such a sore loser!"

" That's it, I can't play with cheaters. "

" Wait, Duo!"

"What?"

" Don't you want your balls back?"

" I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

"Hey, I meant your baseballs. Leggo my leg!"

"Shinigami will have his revenge!"

"Shinigami will be bald if he doesn't get off me!"
" Let go of my braid!"

" First let go of my shirt."

" Oh, so you wanna play rough, eh?"

"Ow!"

"Give up?"

"Never!"

Several Arabic swear words and death threats later, Trowa went outside to break up the noisy wrestling match, silently wondering how those two could be Gundam pilots.



After the fiasco in the garden, Duo and Quatre decided not to play baseball anymore. Two hours later, they were sitting inside, Trowa and Heero playing chess and Wufei and Quatre reading quietly.

Duo was bored. Bored stiff. There was nothing on television and everyone was too quiet.

" Hey, Heero, whatcha doing there? Playing chess?"

"Hn."

" Cool. Who's winning, Trowa?"

Trowa gestured towards Heero.


"Hmph. Hey Wuffy, whatcha reading?"

" War and Peace."

"Cool. What's it about?'

Wufei shot him a withering look, so Duo wisely shut up and moved on.

"Hey, Q, penny for your thoughts?"

"Sorry, Duo, my thoughts are a dollar apiece."

"WHAT??? That's outrageous! Why would I pay a dollar to hear your thoughts?"

"Why would you pay a penny to hear them?"

" I wouldn't pay a penny to hear any thought you've had in your whole rotten existence!!"

"You would if you knew what I'm thinking right now."

"PLEASE TELL ME!!!!"

"Do you have a dollar?"

" Lousy f****ing cheap-ass..... HERE!! Now what's this big expensive thought of yours?"
" A fool and his money are soon parted."

"Oh."

Duo sat down to think about that for a moment, and Quatre got up and left the room. Duo's eyes widened.

"GET BACK HERE!!!!"

Quatre ran up the stairs with Duo close behind.

"GIMME BACK MY DOLLAR!!!!"

"You asked what I was thinking!"

Several thumps were heard from upstairs, and another fight broke out. Heero, Trowa and Wufei looked at each other.

"YOUR TURN!!!!"



"Duo, its just a flu jab. Its not like you're going in for surgery."

" Don't like needles."

Quatre dragged Duo into the doctor's waiting room.

" You're coming in with me, right?"

"Trust me, you don't want me in there when you get this done."

"Why?"

Quatre leaned over and whispered something into Duo's ear. His eyes widened.

" Ohhhh, no! I'm not sticking around for that. I'll take my chances with the 'flu."

"Just go. It won't take a minute."

The surgery door opened.

"Duo Maxwell?"

" Hey Quatre, if I die in here, will you do something for me?"

"Sure, Duo. What is it?"

"Blow up the building."

" Oh, well... I promised, so I guess I'll have to."

Duo shuffled into the surgery, looking scared. Moments later, his loud voice could be heard quite clearly in the waiting room.

" NO WAY!!! LET'S SEE YOU TAKE DOWN YOUR TROUSERS, YOU PERVERT!!"

"WHAT'S THAT? WILL IT HURT?"

"AUGGH IT WENT TROUGH THE SKIN!!! I'M DYING, YOU QUACK!"

"QUATRE, HELP!!! THEY'RE TORTURING ME FOR INFORMATION!!'

Quatre hid behind a copy of National Geographic from 1972 and pretended to be fascinated by Diane Fossey's account of life with the gorillas.


Finally, a very drowsy and disheveled Duo left the surgery.

" Sorry, but we had to sedate him. He wouldn't shut up."



Trowa, Wufei and Heero had just returned from a mission to find that Quatre and Duo weren't there to greet them. After searching the safehouse, they heard two familiar voices coming from Quatre and Trowa's bedroom.


" I give up. It's well and truly stuck."

" You can't give up, Duo. How am I going to explain this awkward position to Trowa?"

"But I can't get it out."

" Try harder!"

" Okay, heave- ho!"

"OUCH!"

" Maybe I should use more lube."

" How are you gonna get it on? It's in fairly deep."

" I just do the edges, then push it in a little, then pull out."

" I don't think that's such a good idea....."

" Aw nuts. Now I'm even worse off. And how am I gonna explain to trowa that I ruined his little toy?"

" Maybe you should'nt have been playing with his little toy in the first place."

" Shut up."

" Hey, maybe Wufei'll lend you his sword."

" For what?"

" To cut it off."

" Aw, Jeez, you're sick. I'm gonna have nightmares about that. Stop laughing."

At this point, Trowa could take no more. He burst into the room, to find his flute and half of Quatre's shirt imbedded in the wall, with most of Duo's braid stuck to it.

" Hey, Trowa. Funny story...."