Summary: So clearly, I see his face. His tousled brown hair, his startling amber brown eyes, his smile, ever so faint. I can remember him so clearly, his image etched in my mind. But does he remember me?
Disclaimer: If I owned CCS, I wouldn't be posting a crappy fic on the net! So I don't own CCS! And I don't own the title Do You Remember, either. I think it's the title of a song by Delta Goodrem. Sad.
A/N: YO, PEOPLE! I, purple snowflakes two, present this atrocious piece of work! I wrote this fluffy one-shot a really long time ago, after watching the two TV boxes.THIS STORY IS WEIRD. I FIND IT WEIRD. But we seriously need more CCS fics; I mean, look at INUYASHA! He hasa HUGE fandom. I don't know anything about Inuyasha; I only know that Inuyasha means dog demon even though he looks like a catty human. With long white hair. No offence.
THIS IS NOT A VERY WELL-WRITTEN FIC; I APOLOGIZE. Ready yourself for uncontrollable puking while reading.
OH YES. REVIEW : D But if you don't want to, it's all right. Just read it (: I shall stop talking now. Read, I say, read!
Do You Remember
Syaoran's hand-sewn bear. There it lay, watching me forlornly with his black beaded eyes. The thin black thread running across the side of its round furry body was unfurling, sticking out untidily and revealing white stuffing.
I sighed and walked across the room, clasping it in my hand. The bear was sewn with so much care and accuracy, beating the look of my pathetic bear by a whole bunch way back when I was in grade 4. But due to so many years of being untouched, the thread was wearing away, and its once clear beady eyes were smudged with dust.
"Syaoran…" I whispered, still watching the black bear. I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
I cry. I always cry. Whenever I think of that special, unique boy, the first person I had fallen truly in love with, my tears fall. They fall so unexpectedly, and my heart burns with desire. My only wish is to see that boy again, see him, speak to him, and experience his smile, his rare smile, so full of concern and kindness.
Meticulously, I cleaned the dust on the bear's eyes away, letting the stuffed creature have a clear view of my face. I could almost see those crystalline amber eyes flashing, his hair ruffled by the wind, his smile directed towards me. Li Syaoran, the guy who used to hate me, and then admitted that he loved me. I was only eleven when I fell in love. Just… eleven. I thought it was puppy love.
It lasted this long.
I thought Onii-chan's best friend, Yukito, was the one for me. He had this really gentle smile, and honey-coloured eyes, and his hair was such an amazing colour, greyish and all, even thought he was so young. I had this really huge, massive crush on him. I really liked him. He was always so kind towards me, always defending me against Onii-chan.
Then Yue came.
Yukito was Yue. Yue had really good looks, his long, white hair sweeping the ground, his snowy white wings sprouting ever so elegantly from his back. He had cold icy-blue eyes, and he wore a strange robe. Another guardian of the Clow Cards, besides Kero. My realization of the fact that Yukito was Yue didn't really affect my crush on Yukito. I just knew that if Yue didn't exist, Yukito wouldn't either. And if Yukito didn't exist, who knows what I may have been.
I loved him. I really thought I did. Yukito was the perfect guy, even though he was a bit too old for me.
Syaoran changed all that.
Syaoran, the most incredible person to walk to earth. I was frightened of him at the beginning, when he tried to separate the Clow Cards from me. Then, he became way nicer, and was really kind to me and all. He became one of my best friends, alongside Tomoyo. I still had that huge crush on Yukito. At first, Syaoran crushed Yukito too, but slowly he didn't blush or stammer every time Yukito talked to him. He started to blush and stammer around ME.
Me, Kinomoto Sakura.
Clueless, stupid, dimwitted me.
I never realized.
I just thought Syaoran was acting weird. Plus ever since he got trapped in the elevator with me, and hugged me, I had this really strange feeling. I still stuck on to the fact that Yukito was my number one, but for Syaoran, we developed a way stronger bond, different from Tomoyo's best friend bond with me; it was more vivid, and more powerful.
Then, he admitted.
"Sa – sakura, I love you!"
He shouted it. He yelled it. The words plummeted and rained down on my head, sinking into my brain. There was so much determination, so much force, when he shouted it at me. His tone sounded like he really, really, really needed to say it. And when he said it, he turned very crimson, released me (he was holding me really tightly) and ran away, so fast, trying his hardest not to trip after using up so much of his magic and being extremely exhausted.
I was so stunned, I couldn't say anything. I wanted to call out after him, but my lips were numb. My whole body was numb. I was too surprised.
Syaoran said he loved me.
I was only eleven.
How was I supposed to deal with this? I didn't understand anything. I ran all the way home, collapsed on my bed, and buried my face into my pillow. It smelt of cherry blossoms, and I breathed in the scent hungrily. He loved me. Li Syaoran loved me. I was thinking like, 'God, dammit, I think I love him too', because the bond between me and Syaoran suddenly snapped, and from those shattered pieces rose such a powerful feeling that engulfed my whole soul I couldn't help but sob, and think, 'What a wonderful feeling this is', because, it really felt good.
Love felt so good.
But after the capture of the Void, and after I told him I seriously, honestly, absolutely loved him too, he went back to Hong Kong.
I haven't seen him since.
It's been almost four years, and I brushed my finger across Syaoran's little button nose. I call it Syaoran, because I love Syaoran so much I can burst.
His scintillating amber eyes once again appeared in my mind. Another tear leaked out, and soaked the soft material of Syaoran's fur.
"Syaoran," I choked out, my fingers trembling. "Where are you?"
No reply. Obviously. It had been four years, and I'm sixteen. Syaoran's sixteen too. I'm sure he changed loads.
"Syaoran!" I shrieked at the bear, my fingers scrabbling hopelessly against its fur. "Can you remember me? Where are you? Why won't you come back?"
The bear stared blankly up at me.
"Syaoran!" I screamed, shaking the bear frenziedly. "Don't you remember me? I remember you! I remember you so clearly!"
The bear fell from my fingers, making a soft, muffled noise as it smacked against the wooden tiles. I covered my eyes with my fingers, the tears spilling out over my fingernails and trickling down my hands, down my arms.
I don't think Syaoran remembers me.
I really don't think so.
I held back a sob, and flung myself on the bed, the tears drenching my pillow. It smelt salty, no longer cherry blossom. It smelt of my tears, the tears of longing for Syaoran.
If I could just see his face again. If I could just ruffle his messy brown hair, run my fingers through his bangs. I've never done that, but I sure will when I see him. If I see him, I mean.
He's never sent me a letter.
He's never sent me a photo.
He seems to want me to forget him.
Erase him from my heart?
The cards struggled to get out of my drawer, and suddenly they burst forth, surrounding me with their comforting glow. All 54, 53 of them, hovering around me and beaming. I lifted my tear-stained face and smiled. Poor Cards. They have to worry about their pathetic, heart-broken Master. I am so worthless.
"You worry about me, right?" I whispered.
"He remembers you. It's all right," Hope's voice filled my room, every syllable reverberating, her voice so sweet and ethereal.
"It's been four years. How do you know he remembers?" I demanded, my own emerald eyes shimmering.
"He does," said Hope.
I looked away. I didn't believe Hope.
"You don't have to worry about me," I said gently, brushing my finger across the surfaces of the Cards. They tingled with warmth. "Go back into the book."
Obediently, they swooped into the book. Kero poked his head out of the drawer and floated concernedly over to me.
"Sakura," he said, pain so present in his black eyes. Like Syaoran Bear. "You're thinking about that kid again, aren't you?"
I stuffed my head into the tear-stained pillow.
"Leave me alone, Kero!"
"Sakura, you've been in this state for a really long time… wouldn't it be better if you just forgot that kid-"
"NEVER!" I shrieked, my emerald eyes flashing with anger. I slammed my pillow at Kero, who immediately disappeared from view as he fell roughly to the floor.
"Oi! Sakura!" he yelled despairingly. "Cut it out!"
My hands balled into fists, and I stared into the air, determination burning within me.
"Syaoran is the most amazing guy I've ever met," I declared. "I will never forget him."
"Sakura, please stop thinking so much about him," Kero pleaded weakly. I felt kind of evil treating my guardian like that, but still, he told me to forget SYAORAN. Forget Syaoran? Like that would ever happen! "The boy will be back, but the old Sakura has disappeared along with him! Sakura, please turn back to your old self! We really miss you, Sakura."
Eh… when had Kero ever talked like that? He sounded really despo. Ehh…
"What do you mean I changed?" I demanded of him. Kero looked desperate.
"Four years ago, you were so happy and all, hopping and skipping everywhere and stomping like a kaijuu, but now with the boy gone, you took on a whole new personality! Now you're always crying and mooching around, staring off into space. A boy shouldn't turn you into a zombie, Sakura!" explained Kero, struggling to get the pillow off him. I stayed silent. A zombie? Because of Syaoran I became a zombie?
But I love him. I really do. I can't stop thinking about him.
"If he came back," I said hollowly, "I think I would be way, way happier." I looked up and smiled at Kero, picking up Syaoran the Bear. I don't think I've smiled for ages, so when Kero saw my face he brightened up in return.
"You smiled," he said.
"I love Syaoran, and I will ALWAYS love him. Even if he doesn't remember me, what does it matter? I only need to love him," I said reverently, Syaoran's face appearing in my mind again. I raised my face and let the breeze coming in from the window ruffle my hair, a small smile tugging at my lips.
I remember you, Sakura.
I smiled even wider. I didn't know who said it, but it sounded unusually similar to Syaoran's voice, just a bit deeper.
Don't always think about me, Sakura. It's not doing you any good.
With my eyes still tightly shut, I pouted.
"Syaoran…" I whispered. Kero seemed to be spluttering.
Sakura, I love you.
I smiled brilliantly and my eyes snapped open. My heart felt so nice and warm, like Syaoran was right beside me.
I glanced at Kero, beaming.
He seemed utterly shocked. Wordlessly, my sun guardian gestured towards the open window. I swiveled my gaze towards it.
Crouching there was a lanky, brown-haired boy, with the most unique eyes I had ever seen and the kindest smile I had ever known plastered across his face.
Dreamlike, I stood up, Syaoran Bear falling from my fingers. I gazed blankly at the boy, who smiled even wider.
"Sakura, I love you," he said aloud, reaching out with one arm and taking my wrist gently. Kero made a puking noise, and I stared at the boy bemusedly.
"Syaoran-kun?" I said questioningly. He nodded, and as if on cue, I flung my arms around him. With the sudden impact, both of us toppled off the window ledge, Kero shrieking with fear. I snuggled into him, clutched tightly in his arms. Both of us smashed into a large pile of dead leaves, completely uninjured.
I raised my head, and he looked down at me. Syaoran looked almost the same. He looked more handsome. That was all.
"A miracle," I murmured, grasping onto him for dear life. I didn't want him to disappear. And I was so close to him, too. I raked my fingers softly through his hair, something I had always wanted to do.
"I just arrived from Hong Kong. I rushed to your house and climbed up the tree to your window," he said softly, cupping my face. I giggled.
It was a dream come true. I have never expected Syaoran to come a calling by sitting on the window sill.
"Syaoran, how did you talk to me without saying anything?"
He smiled mysteriously.
"We have a magical bond, and through this bondwe can contacteach otherwhen we're at close quarters. My mother told me," he explained once again. I felt extremely stupid. Then, I hugged him as tightly as I could, never wanting to let go.
"I love you, Syaoran," I cried into his chest, and clutched tighter at his shirt. He caressed my flyaway hair, so lovingly and gently I tingled from happiness.
I love him. He remembers me.