Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. Any of it.
A/N: I actually have no idea how the heck I came up with this. The inspiration came from the last line of the story, the one in italics. I just started typing, and then…. I ended up with this. Why the hell did I end up writing about SAKURA of all people? It's funny because Sakura is actually one of my least favourite characters in the story. But the line fitted her so well… ;;;
I actually REALLY don't like this. But I though I'd post it up anyways.
People have always said that I work too hard. They want to know what I'm trying to achieve with endless amounts of effort. It all sounds so stupid to them. They don't realize I need to. I need something to take my mind off things. To forget that my being is just a hollow shell.
I feel empty.
A part of me died when he left.
It's been 6 years now. A lot can happen in six years.
For a while, I held onto the hope that he would return. Return back to me. I was foolish back then, I admit. A young girl filled with the idealistic dreams of a world and future that will never be because humankind, although with ideals, never can seem to fill them.
I've moved on.
And now, I'm one of the most respected medic-nins in Konoha. With a successful records and flawless techniques, I'm considered one of the many heroes that came from my generation.
I've been on countless missions, and witnessed so many deaths. Most of them the enemy's. And with every death, memories that I've buried so deep below force their way out through the cracks in my mind.
They eat me up inside.
But I move on.
I should be happier than I've ever been in my life. For once, everything's relatively peaceful. There'll always be the every so often battle. But they won't impact the far future. And for me, everything's going right.
No, I haven't any suitors since he left. Men aren't everything. I smile at the thought. He would have laughed at me if he ever heard. Laughed at who used to be his number one fan. The girl so obsessed with boys.
The thought of him always makes me smile. And then I think of him again and remember, and everything becomes the same as it was before, and the momentary joy in my heart is once again replaced with a dull ache. Just right there. In that place that seems to be in the very center of your soul. That pounding that keeps you up awake at night.
And I always move on. I've grown used to it.
It's been 6 years since he left Konoha.
But it was 4 years afterward that he was brought back.
It was finally Naruto who brought him back, mouth set in a grim line, finally fulfilling his promise to me. He gave me a weak smile as he passed by, dragging a kicking and screaming man with him wrapped in rope and chains; and tags wrapped all around him to prevent him from using anything to escape. He could almost bee compared to a child cheated out of their sweets. He was so different.
He was executed at dawn. In the middle of the town square for everyone to see. He was given a quick, painless death, the only thing I was glad about that day.
I remember and tears escape my eyes. I tried so hard to move on. And I've almost moved on. I just need more time.
I suppose that wasn't just a schoolgirl crush. It was something so much deeper. And that's how it will remain, because he's not there to do anything to it, make it become stronger or make it fade.
I look at myself and I feel so shallow. I feel like some spoiled baby crying over some stupid toy. I don't want to be shallow. I hear myself crying myself to sleep at night, and I wonder if I'm just not being foolish. It's over. The past cannot be erased.
It's nearly two years later, and I've tried so hard to move on.
Maybe I haven't moved on as much as I've wanted to.
And in the end, it seems that everything I do makes no difference. And everything ends up with me starting back at the beginning, with no idea as to where I should head next. And every path is the wrong choice. But every path is the right choice. And any path taken is better than the one I came down from. It all seems so endless.
I live to die. I survive to fall. I sacrifice for nothing at all.
Review. Pretty please?