Erik Python and the Search for the Holy Manuscript

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Search for the Holy Grail told Phantom style…or is it Phantom told Python style? Either way expect madness

The Cast
God: Authoress (Yep, it's me again!)
Arthur: Leroux Erik
Patsy: Christie
Raoul: Black Knight
Snooty French Knights: Firmin and Andre
Sentries: Fops from Il Muto
Prince Herbert: Carlotta
King of Swamp Castle: Lefevre
Castle Guards of Swamp Castle: Firmin and Andre
Constitutional Peasants: Ballet Rats
Sir Galahad: Gerik
Sir Bedevere: Kay Erik
Sir Lancelot: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Sir Robin: Michael Crawford Erik
Bridgeman: Mama Valerius
Three headed knight: Emmy-Christine, Sarah-Christine, and Leroux-Christine
Black Beast of Argh: Mary Sue
Tim the Enchanter: Nadir
Zoot and those of Castle Anthrax: Phangirls
Brother Maynard: Mme Giry

Hello and welcome! If you are a reader of any of my previous phics, I've no doubt you are already well assured of the full madness to which I am capable of. (Unless of course you restricted yourself to Midnight Suitor, which was serious) Any reader and sing-a-longer of Ode to Insanity, or Mirror Between Worlds come to think of it, will know my obsession for Monty Python and so here it is the Phantomised Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail! Now forever imprinted in your Cause For Insanity forms as Erik Python and the Search for the Holy Manuscript! (Of Don Juan Triumphant). Now let's get one thing straight before we begin, the Monty Python lads were a marvellous but few bunch, and while I have a little more scope with combining two books, a play and a movie together, there will still be some doubling up of the characters, so bear with me and let the madness begin!

It also helps if you have a passing knowledge of Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail…actually you might just want to rewatch it before reading this. And while I solemnly swear the rest will NOT be in script form, there was kind of no other way to begin the opening credits

OK, Now we can start

Chapter one Crazy Subtitles

Blah, blah, blah something, something crazy crackers Erik is sexy cloaks so on and so forth many important looking names
Røten nik Akten Di

With more important names
Champion Cookie Baker – naomipoe
Commodore of the DBCA – Cap'n Meg
Random tuneless song soundtrack manager – MasqueradingThroughLife

Also with more important names
Best Phantom/phangirl crossover story on the site – Misty Breyer Phantom Companions
Random pregnant self-insertion as Authoress – trisana
Unmarried shade of dark tone – Miss Black Shadow
Alsø wik

And as well as more unimportant names
The Bug Eyed Fish – Christine
The Girly Man - Raoul
Alsø alsø wik

Important names of no real importance
Other Queen of the DBCA – deltaevenstar
Winner of Australian Idol 2005 – Who the hell gives a damn?
If you look for it – There are a lot of slash lines in Half Blood Prince
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Paris this yër?

Random credits Crazy chicken dancer – Shicklebeez
Fred and George (and Peeves) – The only reason to read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Half Blood Prince – Read like a fanfic (it so did! Don't deny it!)
See the løveli lakes (Even though there's no lakes in Paris…I think)

Words and names
Erik – Phantom
Raoul- Fop
Christine – Huh?
The wøndërful telephøne system (Or you can pass notes, usually works quite well)

Names and People
Babylon 5 – Is full of snarky conversations and conspiracies
Best EC phics – The Last First Kiss, A Paradox of Choice,and The Rose and the Nightingale

Where in the world is Nadir Khan? – In Carmen San Diego
And mäny interesting furry animals (Like the horses stolen from the stables that are supposed to be white though Erik looks better with black)

More names
DBCA: Don't stalk us…we'll stalk you

Hello my name is E.B.C. I'm from the D.B.C.A. How may I help you?
Snape's Diary on the DBCA (and soon to come to this site) – Is the funniest diary you will ever read
Including the majestik toads (Coo-ak!)

Names, Names, Names
PJBG – Phantom'sJediBandieGirl
Best reason for Erik's name – Kudokadvach, Harem
The Butler did it! – Gerard Butler
A tøad once croaked my sister...

Names, places, cloak swirlers
Hermione Granger and Severus Snape – Believe it! A girl does need intelligence in her life (besides, there's only a 20 year age difference, and hands up who drools over Johnny Depp still?)
Harry Potter – is a Mary Sue
A Mary Sue – Is a freak
Severus Snape – Is not evil. If he hadn't killed Dumbledore he would have died thanks to the Unbreakable Vow, and Snape had reasons to stay alive, whatever they may be, that I doubt were for the services of the Dark Lord (of Mordor).
There were two lines cut from the Australian release of Half Blood Prince and probably the American version as well (though you guys ended up with Sorcerer's Stone instead of Philosopher's Stone) that Dumbledore said to Draco that made the whole thing make more sense!
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the tøad with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...

(Screen screeches to a halt half way through "Why Slash should not be allowed between Erik and Raoul)
We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.

(Screen continues) Darth Vader…He only ever wanted to be loved
Mynd you, tøad croaks Kan be pretty nasti...

(Screen stops again half way down a picture of Gerard Butler –screams of protest are heard from rabid phans-)
We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

Special Tøad Effects OLAF PROT
Tøad choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor's Tøads by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Tøad trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG
Large Tøad on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and 'O' Level Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the Toad suggested by VIC ROTTER
Croaking-care by LIV THATCHER
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.
The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute

(Crazy colours and Mexican music while Gerard Butler does a striptease to the Mexican Hat dance…now there's an odd mental image)

Fin Chapter One (I did it? Huh.)

More to come!