Disclaimer: Lemony Snicket rocks, but unfortunately, I don't own anything of his. I hope this is a Very Funny Dialogue!

I Have Good News!


Police Chief







K,S,V,I,D, and Q are sitting at the Police Chief's desk.

Klaus: We've been on the run from Count Olaf for quite some time.

Violet: My brother's right. That horrible man has followed us everywhere! He's really dangerous!

Police Chief: I know.

Sunny: Koruka!

(subtitle says: Duh, he's tried to kill us!)

Isadora: He kidnapped my brother and me when we were still at school.

Police Chief: (looking in a confused way at Duncan and Quigley) Uh, which brother was it again?

Duncan: Me.

Quigley: (speaking simultaneously with Duncan) Not me.

Police Chief: So it was you? (points to Quigley)

Duncan and Quigley in unison: No.

Police Chief: It was neither of you?

Duncan: No, actually—

Isadora: (interrupting Duncan in an annoyed tone) Never mind that! We just came here to ask you if you've caught him yet.

Police Chief: Who?

Sunny: Count Olaf!

Violet: Have you?

Klaus: PLEASE say you have! Please, please, please…

(all orphans begin to plead with Klaus)

Police Chief: (holding up his hand and smiling) Okay, okay, calm down. I have good news!

All orphans in unison: So you've caught him!

Police Chief: No. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!