The Replacement

By Kinoha

A/N: I shouldn't... but what you can do? Okay, this story definitely is very much like my other fic 'All of The People', falling into categories Action/ Adventure/ Romance/ Humour/ Hentai/ Drama/ Random weirdness/ and Whatta &/¤#"&#! since I realized that type of fics are what I'm best at! So enjoy! Main pairing is K/CC with little side BV! Maybe with Kuririn/18.

Disclaimer: I only own my random weirdness and ideas and my wacky mind; not DBZ! I don't know is that bad or good...

Summary: AU. On Vegetasei Lady Piela, a noble lady betrothed to high commander Kakarotto, is under a threat of assassination of unstable times. To protect her a plan is devised; replace her with worthless, almost-carbon-copy kitchenslave, ChiChi, until the threat is over. How will Kakarotto cope with the solution? Not mention ChiChi! K/CC! (BV!)


Chapter I – A genius plan devised!

The council room was full of restless chatter and nervous laughter as someone attempted a poor joke in midst of these unstable and unpredictable times to lighten up the pressure of the current situation. The nervousness and tenseness hung so thickly in the air that you could almost cut it with a loose-edged knife and sold in a market in one kilo pieces. The reason of this was the resent passing of King Vegeta, Prince Vegeta's father, who had died under mysterious circumstances, leaving kindly a mass of unsolved problems for Prince Vegeta to solve.

The Prince wasn't happy about his father's death. It was a common knowledge that the Prince wasn't too fond of his father and some even said that Prince Vegeta himself had ended the poor bastard's life, but it was quickly concluded that it couldn't be because the prince wasn't happy about it.

The very first problem that had occurred was a rebellion alliance rising against the new soon-to-be King, claiming that the throne was theirs. Or at least would in the future, they boasted in every message, threat or whatever they happened to send. Various bloody battles and conflicts between royal guards and the rebellion had broken out in these few months, preventing prince's crowning ceremony for he had to take care of these conflicts and his kingdom, that was in turmoil at the moment, and resulting some massive civilian deaths. The only formally accepted ceremony could be held only once in a year at a certain time and it would take a week of celebrating and preparing. Prince, not-so-soon-to-be King, Vegeta wasn't too happy about it either.

The period of crowning's last starting day went past two days ago.

Another problem had risen and this was the growing assault rate towards nobility. Ten nobles had met their demise under the rebellion's assassinations. To this point they had lost various of their best generals and some of the most powerful allied Houses. Spies lurked in every corner. None could be entirely trusted and the peasant and townspeople were dividing in two halves, supporting Prince or the rebellion. Media made up the most wildest stories and theories you could ever imagine and sticking their nose where it really didn't belong in prince's opinion.

This council was called to discuss the problem number two. From, estimated, "trusted" source they had found out that Lady Piela was the next victim to fall and to be assassinated. The person in question, Lady Piela, a known noble lady for her beauty and strength and influence in the high council was sitting calmly on her assigned seat, surrounded by royal guards ordered for her protection. The noble Saiyajin female looked around lazily and yawned. What was taking the prince and her fiance so long? This meeting should have started a while ago... It was about her life, damnit!

She absently brushed her long black hair that reached her lower back, behind her ear. It was soft and silky with no usual Saiyajin spikes. Only her fringe was slightly spiked and it framed her pale face delicately. Her eyes were deep ink black and they shone now with boredom instead of usual mysteriousness. Piela was very beautiful in Saiyajin standards and she even had the power to back up her words when needed. Being the head of her family, she was used to using it. Power. The icing on the cake was that she was betrothed to high commander Kakarotto, the soon-(not!)-to-be King's first-in-command.

The whole ordeal was of course arranged and it was a practical bonding. They were both strong and high ranking Saiyajins and that would produce strong children and not to mention, help the planet. Strong warriors were always needed and wanted at times like these.

She sighed smugly. Every woman on Vegetasei wanted to be her. Her fame and riches, including huge a "collection" of useful slaves, and beauty was known all over the planet, thanks to media and her own little work. Her tail was said to bring any man the pleasures that only Goddesses could bring and drive them mad with lust... And now that she had Kakarotto... every woman's dream man. Handsome and in power only beneath the prince, both physically and in rank. And he had talents... she smirked at the memory of the last night and eyed lustily under her lashes one of the stone-faced Saiyajin guards. He was young and handsome and he had this charm about him that appealed to her greatly... Maybe she should pay him a visit later... Like Kakarotto would ever know...

And speaking of Kakarotto! Where was he? She wanted this thing over and be assured of her safety and future bonding to high commander Kakarotto! Assassination or no assassination! She was certainly too beautiful to die like that!


The two missing Saiyajin men were strolling casually along the corridor in companionable silence as slaves and lower servants jumped out of the way, scared. Both dressed in fancy armours and scouters, announcing their high status clearly as the sun shines as they strode forwards with pace and dignity that told years of military influence and training. They were late and they both knew it. Kakarott just a half-step behind prince Vegeta, was wearing a stoic face, his eyes brows narrowed into a hard look, but a cold sweat was beginning to gather on his forehead At his waist his strong furry tail twicthed ever so slightly in nervousness. Vegeta's face was stoic also; save for the tick in the corner of his eye and the vein that was beginning to pulse in his royal forehead. The prince's tail was beginning to remind Kakarott of a bottle brush, which wasn't a good sign.

Any on-looker could easily say that the prince and his subordinate were just taking a leisurely stroll to check how things were going around the palace... in any normal situation it would have been so, but not now. This one of the few times when the walking was a method of not blowing up the whole palace. The prince was pissed off. Royally.

He had just found out another of those ridiculous headlines the media of the planet had conjured up. This time it concerned somehow royal gardens, him and his supposed imaginary lover and a huge add about the oncoming ball. Who the hell told the press about the damn ball! Nappa, of course that babble mouth of a son of a bitch... always blurting out things that he wasn't even supposed to know! Vegeta didn't know what disease made him keep the dimwit around, but at least the big dumbo was good at training soldiers. Maybe that's why.

And the lover hassle! He didn't have one for fuck's sake! He hadn't had time for women in months! Which only increased his anger as he realized how long time it had been since his last fuck.

" Sire?" Kakarotto asked almost meekly; almost pleading the prince and he snapped out of his fury and torture filled thoughts. Kakarott had been his first subordinate for two years now and he had become somewhat accustomed to prince temper and moodiness.

Vegeta stopped, tensed dangerously as Kakarott readied himself for the worst, then Vegeta relaxed, exhaling loudly. " Yes, I know! We're late from the meeting and it's about your woman's safety!" the prince spat, still looking like a boiling kettle. The high commander could only nod in response and relief as they set off towards the grand hall. The prince, though shorter than many others, was the most dangerous being on the planet with a temper that could blow half of the palace to kingdom come, was known to take out his frustrations in many ways. Blowing up the unfortunate part of the palace he happened to be one of them.

Kakarotto was brave, but not suicidal and retained from any more comments even if the deal was about his to-be bond mate. He smirked thinking about her. She was almost royal in demeanor and wealthand joining their Houses would only bring more power to them and the "King". Lady Piela wasn't that bad in bed either...

Vegeta's scouter beeped and he tapped it with his gloved finger, irritated, " What! Is! It!" he yelled into the device.

" Uh, sire... we kinda have an emergency, sire. The rebels have... well... you better come and check it out for yourself, your Majesty." a nervous voice announced thru the scouter and that was almost too much for the prince. He turned slowly to Kakarott, who unwillingly took a step back in surprise and alarm.

" High commander, take care of this mess. These idiotic fools have fucked up once again. Go! I'll inform you later about the council's solution. Dismissed." he ordered through gritted teeth, turning on his heels and marching away his royal red cape billowing after him. Kakarott bowed formally in submission and cursed mentally his prince. But he was loyal... The solution better be good!

With a sigh he opened the nearest window and took off flying, reporting he'd taking over the situation at prince's order.


Vegeta entered the noisy council room and took his seat quietly and unnoticed by everyone else. The mindless chatter went on and on... Ignoring it for now, he went through the names of the attendants and their ranks on the list placed in front of him on the marble table and eyed the Saiyajins in the room. Good. Everyone required was present expect for his first-in-command. It was time to open this meeting.

" SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he bellowed and banged his fist on the marble table, underestimating his own strength, splitting the huge table in two with a loud crack. The pieces fell on the floor with noise and white dust soon covered the room. Couple of sneezes and coughing was heard all over the room. The dust settled as did the chatter. The once so fine table was in crumbles and everyone was covered in white marble dust.

Cursing inwardly, Vegeta kept on a cool face and glared at anyone who dared to even look at him weirdly. " We'll open this meeting now! The subject: Lady Piela's safety from presumed assassination attempt. Suggestions?" he purred deadly at the incredulous council members and flashed a creepy smile at Piela's direction, who looked too shocked to complain about her ruined armour in her usually bitchy manner. (Prince's opinion)

" Yes, Colonel Omaru?" Vegeta pointed at a Saiyajin and gave him his turn to speak.

" We all know how important Lady Piela is for this government. After all, many of our supporters and allies come from her lands. The best thing we can do to her is to give her our best men to protect her. I say---"

" Next!" Vegeta called, dismissing him quickly as Piela started to look scaringly much like a cat at this speech.

Another officer rose. " We could always hide her under ground---"

" No! Protection is definitely the best option we have!" some other general remarked and stood up to make his point.

" No you're both idiots and wrong! I say we---"

Vegeta groaned. He could see where this was going and felt unnatural tiredness take over him and didn't feel like keeping the order. He groaned again. He didn't even have a table to bang his head on anymore. Fuck. The council room was beginning to remind a war zone.

" Now listen to me you cock-sucking bastard! My way is the best and---"

" Are you insulting my bedding talents? You fucking---

" Shut up you son of a bitch! Just because you haven't gotten a decent fuck in years you want close to Lady Piela---"

" Take that back and I won't wring your pathetic neck---"

" You and what army just taste this! I'm right you bastard!"

" ---idiotic wanker of a---"

" --- you whore-loving faggot---"

Vegeta watched passively as the fight went on and did nothing to stop it. He somehow just couldn't summon up any of his infamous temper and will. He felt dead. Though it had been only three days since he had last slept any... Old and young, men and women fought relentlessly over the problem. All wanting the honors of saving Lady Piela's life with their brilliant plan and thus, her favour on their side. He buried his face in his hands. Why he had to send Kakarott away and not someone else? Then again, there wasn't anybody else who wouldn't screw up in a way or another.

" Your Majesty?" a respectful and passive voice asked and he turned his head to find one of his father's scientist. Buriefusu. The only albino Saiyajin ever born. Weird, but extremely brilliant. Didn't he have that freakishly colored daughter?

" Yeah?" he replied dully, not feeling like an intimidating and respectable ruler he was supposed to be. The chaos around him broke out into a full brawl. He made a mental note to call the builders and repairmen and inform the medical wing of the happenings in the meeting. And a janitor. The bloodstains were a pain to get off the floor when they dried on it...

" With all due respect sire, I think I have solution for this problem. This is Lady Piela we're talking about..."

" What is it! Speak up, albino!"

" A decoy: A replacement." the scientist triumphed.

" A replacement?" Vegeta repeated, now interested.

" Yes, your highness, you see, if we can find someone else to play her character, a decoy, while under the threat and take her somewhere safe. Doesn't she have summer mansion in the mountains? " Vegeta nodded, listening. " Good. Now we only sneak her there without any prying eyes and make the replacement into her, here! None will know the difference! And if we order high commander Kakarotto to her side 24/7, it looks like he is protecting the "real" Lady Piela! The only problem yet is: we don't have anyone who looks enough like her..." The violet haired scientist fell in silence, waiting calmly for the response after his joy speech in split second.

" Yes... that would work..." he mumbled, thinking over options, but found none better and he himself wasn't feeling very creative at the moment. Now they only needed to find a worthless carbon copy that could be killed off...

" Buriefusu! You have served this planet well. We'll discuss your rewards later. Meet me today 1800 sharp in my quarters. Lady Piela and Kakarott will be there as well and we can make out the details. Dismissed." Prince Vegeta ordered and Buriefusu bowed deep and left, strolling casually through the chaos to the door. And now for the replacement...

" NAPPA!" he yelled into his scouter and after a few seconds, the burly and overly-large figure of Nappa appeared through one of the many side doors to the council hall.

" Here, your highness! Did you need me?" Nappa saluted and cast one look and eyebrow at the supposed "meeting".

" Like an incurable disease..." Vegeta muttered and cringed. When he'd be needing Nappa, he'd rather throw himself into a deep pit of Mura snakes. " Yyyeeesssshhh..." he ground out hesitantly, " I need you to find someone who looks exactly like Lady Piela! This mission is to be completed 1800 sharp and be brought to my quarters! Understood? Dismissed!"

Nappa nodded and bowed and smiled weirdly at him.

" What?"

" Your Majesty.. I didn't know you lusted after Lady Piela as well..."

" ...OoO;..."

" If you would have said it earlier, sire, I could have gotten her to mate you instead of that pesky, bastard Kakarotto... Maybe harem would do for now..." Nappa said spitefully. He was supposed to prince's first man, not some bratty kid from mysterious family history...

" OUT!" Vegeta bellowed enraged, ready to blast Nappa to smithereens, who made a run for his life. One of the few smart things he had done in his life. " AND SEND A DINNER TO MY QUARTER AS WELL WHILE YOUR AT IT! IDIOT!"

A meek 'yes sire' was heard before the door banged shut loudly and the growing chi blast in the "King's" hand diminished to nothing. He rubbed his temples wondering how short his rule would end. At this rate, it seemed to be sooner than he ever anticipated. And now for the meeting which still reigned on as a general bar fight...

" THE MEETING'S OVER! SOLUTION FOUND BY DR. BURIEFUSU! DISMISSED!" he shouted sharply and left the room quickly, not wantoing to deal with the shining and questions that were sure to rise, leaving flabbergasted nobility behind him in shock. He needed a long long vacation after this whole fiasco was over. He messaged Kakarott and Lady Piela about the assembly in his quarters later and went to sign and read the three-metre-high stack of papers on his desk.

Damn his old man...


" Alrigh' wenches! The Prince wants his dinner to be served to his quarters today and I expect your cute little butts to start working! Got that?" Nappa commanded harshly the women in the room as he stood in middle of the bustling large main kitchen, barking orders and leering at them lustily. The ovens' smouldered heat and it was dimly lit, but it produced Vegetasei's finest food and cuisine meals. It was hot and dirty and not particularly best place to live, but they were only kitchen slaves. Meek and quiet 'yes, sir's were mumbled around the room as the women hurried to complete their tasks. You never knew when someone higher class decided to beat you for fun and "disobedience".

He left laughing brusquely and groped their butts on his way out, eliciting surprised squeals and protests from the women. He just loved the submitting and meek women...

" Asshole..." one of them muttered and rubbed her bruised behind and even dared to give a finger to him to his non-existent back. How she loathed that big asshole. Her slightly knotted and dirty black hair was pulled to a long ponytail, so the ends curled slightly. She was small in stature, but her rags hid her sweet curves well. Her eyes very customary Saiyajin black and large and were now narrowed into a fierce scowl of detest. Just because he was higher class...

" ChiChi!" her friend Zucina hissed at her warningly; almost fearfully. " He may have heard you... and you know what happens when---"

" Yeah ... I know..." she murmured back and wiped her sweaty and dirty face. Boy, did she know... Beatings for disobedience were usually ruthless and resulted permanent damage, lowering their "value" from before. Rape was also common occurrence while punishing lower class females and ChiChi knew that almost every woman working in the kitchen, save for few, herself included, had been used once or more. She did recall some close calls on her part as the male had been so drunk she had been able to fight him off or knock him down and save herself.

Her brown tail curled tighter around her waist.

She had been working in the kitchen for ten years now; kidnapped from her village at the deceased King's rule. But she really couldn't say she downgraded back then by coming to work in the palace. She had already been an orphan and living off of stealing and some kind people's bread offerings. This wasn't any better or worse she supposed, but she still hated those pompous asses who run the whole sorry business.

" ChiChi! Stop day-dreaming, please, and start working. Besides it's your delivery turn." Zucina pinched her arm, waking her up from her thoughts.

" Fine. But couldn't you cover for me the delivery?"

" No."

" Damn..." ChiChi cursed quietly stirred the delicious smelling stew she was tending and took a little sampling, tasting it's rich and spicy taste. Perfect. The only good side working in kitchen was that you definitely didn't go under fed there. Sneaking small bits and bite here and there went unnoticed by the authorities and kept them in fit to work and like the higher class could ever believe that slaves would be guilty of such act of disobedience. The regular slave food portions were way too small for a normal Saiyajin, anyways.

The Saiyajin female sighed dejectedly; how she hated delivering the food or being in serving duty. All those judging and superior gazes just because of her status and clothing... Absolutely worthless in their eyes. It would be nice to see how they'd live if there was none to cook and clean for them. The Saiyajin race would probably be extinct, she thought dryly as she checked various foods and put them into oven to cook.

" Hey ChiChi! Have you heard?" one of her slave friend whispered as the washed the dirty pots and pans.

" Heard what?" she asked, not really interested in the rumours and media's lies.

" That Lady Piela is under assassination threat form the rebels and a meeting was held to prevent it. They succeed, but none knows what the plan is; not even the ones who attended." her friend explained, " the janitor told me. You know, the one with those cute spikes and nice eyes..."

" How's that possible? Isn't she engaged to bond with Lord Kakarotto?" ChiChi debated, not letting her friend's dreamy tone disturb her, and shrugged it off. Like what the council decided and did had anything to do with her anyways...

" I dunno, but this is really going to be a blast! I really don't want those rebels to win our almost-King 'cause that would be bad for us, even worse that it's now, the Prince hasn't even really started ruling yet and who knows, he doesn't seems as cruel as his father, Saruyan bless him..."

ChiChi half-heartedly listened her bubbly friend's ramblings as she washed dishes with her.


Vegeta slumped over his finely crafted mahogany desk, dead tired. Whatta hell was wrong with the universe and this planet. Complaints about pointless shit and even more pointless consolations about his father's passing from different parts of the galaxy. Who really cared the bastard lived or died? He sure didn't! He was still sour about the fact that the old man went and died without telling him and not by his own hands. Even Vegeta didn't know what these mysterious circumstances were that he died of...

Leaving his study he marched the empty corridors ( everyone was fixing the council room or tending the wounded ) and entered his quarters with a relieved sigh, ignoring the guards at his door. He clapped his hands and the lights came to life. Sweet, sweet home, where no evil papers could ever reach him... He plopped onto plush leather sofa and checked the time: 1637. Oh fuck... he was too tired to move, not finding any motivation to do so. He was hungry... he didn't get any training done... Kakarott hadn't reported in yet which meant the mess was bigger than anticipated... the was pissed off... Nappa should drop dead off and be sentenced to hell for eternity... they still needed that blasted replica...

A silent rap on the door got his attention and he didn't even bother to yell. " In... " he said softly.

The door opened and a dirty Saiyajin kitchen slave entered, her head bowed, pushing the cart that contained his dinner. A silent laughter reached Vegeta's eyes and the girl was beet red from embarrassment or anger. Damn horny guards...

" Your dinner is here, Lord. Do you require anything else?" she bowed even lower, keeping her gaze down on the royal blue carpet Vegeta waved his hand, not in the mood to deal with this shit and let her set up the table, watching passively from aside. The girl lifted her head momentarily and Vegeta's heart almost stopped. Wait a fucking second...

" Girl! Show me your face!" he barked and marched to her, scowling fiercely.

" What?" ChiChi stammered in utter shock and lifted her head more from surprise than command. The prince circled her couple of times, looking thoughtful. The he grabbed her wrist and they went almost flying to the bathroom. ChiChi was getting freaked out.

" Your highness... what are ya do---blug blup blupr blups blu!" Vegeta shoved her face into the washing basin and started scrubbing it with a soap, vigorously.

" Stop your wriggling, wench! Stay still... damnit! Fuck..." If he was right then under all that grime would be...

He lifted her head from it and she gasped air desperately, looking disheveled and disgruntled and damn scared. He quickly grabbed a white fluffy towel form the rack and attacked her with it, and dried her head furiously with it. Vegeta threw the now almost black towel on the floor and took a step back, to take a better look at her. She was dizzy and looked dumb-founded, black eyes wide and tail waving behind her for balance.

Yes! Almost carbon copy of Lady Piela! The girl was a tad shorter than the honored lady, but she'd have to do. Vegeta smirked. His ruling era just had lengthened considerably! She was a kitchen slave and no big deal if she got killed by the rebel assassin. Now he only needed to wait until the meeting in an hour.

" Girl! Stay here and don't move! I will get you shortly!" he ordered and walked off, his tail waving contently behind him. Ah, how dinner sounded good...

" Uh... what?" ChiChi asked after he had gone, completely scared out of her wits. What had she done now to evoke the royal wrath upon herself? Guess she'd find out in an hour... but damn it was one fine bathroom! She had never seen anything so fancy in her life!


A/N: There! Review! This is just getting started! This story will have long chapters since stuff like this is for me easy to write! JA NE! This will be K/CC and B/V in the future! Thanks for reading!