Brennan finally had the chance to sit down and think about his guilty feelings after the crisis was over, and Jesse had told them how they had saved him. Saved him! Yeah, right. The gunman had known that Jesse would jump in front of that bullet to try to save him, and had used that to his advantage. If Jesse hadn't have jumped in front of him, the bullet might not have phased Brennan. It was, after all, designed to hurt Jesse the most. His body wouldn't randomly mass vital organs the way Jesse's did. Damn him! Why did Jesse have to feel he needed to take care of everyone else? If he hadn't tried to, he wouldn't have been I pain, laying there on that bed dying. He wouldn't have been unconscious fighting that pit, and he wouldn't have almost died. He wouldn't be so weak right now. They had to wheel him out to the commons area so that he could sit with them, and he could tell the whole time even as they joked, that he felt weak, not up to his usual par.

Feeling himself begin to panic, he took deep breaths to ward off the anxiety. He had been so close to crying. Jesse had been in pain, much more than he had on any of their other cases. Even when he was in the ring at Hillview, he hadn't been hurting as bad. Maybe he just kept it to himself that time. How many times had he inadvertently hurt his younger friend? They were brothers in every sense except blood, but he had managed to hurt him the most. What if he had died this time? When Jesse was screaming and telling him that he couldn't control the pain, he had felt helpless. Sure, he tried to hold him down to keep him from further hurting himself, but what could he really do? Then, when he had lost consciousness that time, he had freaked. If the heart monitor hadn't still measured his life signs, he would have been able to convince himself that he was dead. Still, hours after the girls and Dr. Robinson had saved his life, he felt the overwhelming grief of not being able to help. Shalimar had sensed that he felt this way, and had told him that time would heal his pain, too, but he highly doubted if he would ever be able to get over this...