Oh my this story is morbid, but then,isnt the majority of my stories? This was written mainly because I believe in laughing instead of crying (except at tv shows and movies...and commercials...yeah I cry at everything, but I do believe in it..just not for me hehe) so that was my main focal point and then I stumbled across the word equilibrium, a word that has held my curiousity for quite a while, and the story was born from there! There are some parts that remind me of other stories I have written (I see it, you all prolly wont, because I'm that anal) but who cares! This is a completely different story and has a much different meaning...so please read and review and I love you!

I do not own friends/actors/characters/ but I do own...umm...well, I have no car, I have no house, I dont even have a boyfriend to own! My life is empty! I do, however, own these stories and I will personally mutilate any one who dares try to steal them from me...I'm watching you...

To laugh at morbid happenings when you should be shedding a tear is the way of life.

Better to let loose a chuckle then release a tear, had always been his way of thinking.

To have your emotions so tight and bottled up inside, yet have the emotions on the outside blatantly displaying the opposite was a natural way of keeping equilibrium.

At least, it had always been that way for him, and he highly doubted he was much different from others making short, bittersweet cameos in the show that was life on their little planet in the universe – no matter how alien he felt at times.

Equilibrium had always been something he had strived for, and not only because of the way the word seemed to tumble off of his tongue, a strange word to be said by all.

No, he had always hoped to have a part in the tongue twister, simply because his life had never held much equilibrium, with the exception of the dictionary he had stored in his desk drawer, hardly used later in life because he had seemed to have learned all the words, waiting for attention from the parents that never noticed him.

The only way that he had achieved equilibrium was to deal with the morbid happenings of his life with a smile; a snigger, a laugh and a complementary joke – never for the crowd's expense, but always for him – and it had worked.

The equilibrium that had evaded him for seemingly an eternity had been found, in the smile of a face that was meant to be sobbing.

For that, he never cried; only inside, and only when he needed to feel what had evaded him. Instead, he laughed.

He laughed after breaking up with her; Nick's pants still burning in his mind, a morbid reminder of her horrible deed, but not something to cry over.

He laughed while drinking too much – Nick's pants not something to cry over, but certainly something to drink over – telling the bartender his life story and quest for equilibrium, the patient bartender always listening, even though he hadn't asked.

And walking home, steps unsteady, he laughed at the sheer absurdity of life, and then he laughed no more.

Lying on the pavement, his body broken from not looking before crossing, he let a single tear fall.

In those last seconds of life, he saw no reason as to why he shouldn't let a tear slip, because it was his way of still maintaining that equilibrium, to the very end.

As he was shedding a tear on the outside, his soul was laughing; mocking him for ever thinking he had enjoyed a breath of equilibrium.

Because the fact remained that their cameos in the show that was life had never once featured equilibrium; it had all been a ruse, something to hold onto, to hide away from the truth, and to enjoy as it slipped off your tongue, complementing your ears at the very sound of it. And the basic truth was that life was unstable; a sad thought to be realised by all.

He let a tear slip; his soul laughing.