Author: Mokis


R: PG-15. Adult themes.

Summary: In one second everything can change.

A/N: Bored as always, stuck in a train for almost two hours because of the rain and bad weather I wrote this piece this morning. Mention of "Happiness is a warm gun" by the Beatles and some lyrics from "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd.

There was a time I was perfect. The most valuable player. Sounds like another life but it was no long ago. I felt like a genius. Everything I touched turned out to be gold. Now those days are over. I'm a fish out of the fishbowl. No one forgives me and I can't forgive anyone.

It wasn't expected. Who would have imagined I would fall deeply for a woman? No one. But I did. Sara was everything I had ever dreamt of and even more. Excellent in al senses, she stood out above al in doing her job. Serious, self-exigent and with the smartest mind in the world, she lived exclusively for her job until we found each other.

Like one who sees the sun after a long time secluded in darkness. That's how we both felt. Love was not only a feeling and sex was not only physical. Connected in the strangest way, we shared our lives enjoying every day and making plans for future. With me she gave birth to a different Sara, a funny and romantic one. I could never get bored with her because she never ceased to amaze me.

Happiness is a warm gun, Beatles sang once. And, yes, it is. For the first time in three years we were assigned to the same case. Grissom's sense of office politics. Nothing interesting, just another dead body in Las Vegas. The only difference was a murderer that had returned to the place to contemplate a dead sleeping beauty. He took Sara by surprise and pointed her in the head with a gun. She asked me to shoot. She had always said I was the best at shooting. I didn't want to. The killer was getting more and more anxious and it was clear he would hurt Sara anytime soon. She kept begging me to shoot. For a moment it seemed time had stopped. I felt myself observing the scene I saw me covered in sweat, trembling. I saw her desperate for me to save her. And I saw him ready to shoot her.

I took a decision and believed in my skills. I'll never do it again. For bullet's in the murderer's body and one in Sara's. There was nothing left to do. I didn't have time to get angry and implore God to bring her back. I, too, passed away that day.

I try to go on with my life. I remind myself, everyday when I wake, to breathe. Because I'm sure this is what she would have wanted me to do.

I would have given my life for you, Sara. I would have traded positions with you that day, with my eyes closed.