A/N: Okay, here's the first of the Zany Antics. This will NOT be easy for me, as I am currently fighting a writer's block when it comes to this. But I must keep a promise. Just another note though, anything in these stories may or may not be connected with my Season 2 fic. If confused by this at all, refer to my profile.
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Elly is a master of disguise. Who will she impersonate next? On with it!
Elly Simpson was worn out and indeed bored out of her face. She hated being the only EVA pilot that lived at NERV.
She lay back on her bed. She was dressed in some pink summer clothes, but she didn't feel like going to the beach. As far as she was concerned, this country was more boring than an episode of Survivor. "They should come out with Survivor NERV," she said aloud. "How would they survive should a Black Angel show up? We've only fought two so far. That's probably another fifteen unaccounted for. I'd want Asuka voted out of NERV so I could have Shinji all to myself!" She giggled at the thought. "Then vote out Commander Ikari. People would cheer to see him go."
That's when she heard her stomach growling. On instinct, she decided to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. So up off the bed she went.
NERV was indeed very quiet, unless one of the technicians was talking or somebody was humming some catchy show tune. Gendo Ikari was not going to be in today, so NERV was indeed very quiet. No big operations would be planned either. So that meant Vice-Commander Fuyutski was in charge today, which for some reason, the other technicians treated these days as "goof off days".
Once she got to the cafeteria, she gazed upon the menu. She had seen this menu everyday since she began living here. So it wasn't difficult to come up with what she wanted to eat. While the cooks were making her lunch, she wondered if she would ever be able to leave the facility and live somewhere else. But Dr. Akagi had told her she wouldn't be able to live somewhere else for two reasons. One, which was that there was nowhere else for her to go that someone, could be trusted to care for her. Two, was because of the tank theft incident, she was to be under watch at all times.
Finally, her lunch was ready. So she sat down by herself at a table and pondered what was going to happen today. Maybe she should hold another sleepover like she had done before. And this time she could invite Shinji over too. She just loved trying to take Shinji away from Asuka. All this just to see the red-headed bitch go off like an N2 mine. She knew deep down she would never be Shinji's girlfriend, Elly just loved to piss off Asuka.
A sudden memory came back to her. The memory of when she was ordered by Gendo Ikari to keep a very sharp eye on that mahogany-headed bitch Mana Kirishima. There was one way to steal away Shinji, and then there was Mana's way, which she saw as just plain dirty. Elly remembered how she disguised as a janitor when she saw Mana head for the bathroom. Her disguise had worked rather well as it had Mana fooled completely, so Elly got an idea. A cool idea. An idea that looked like loads of fun. An idea that made her inhale the rest of her lunch.
She rushed back to her room, nearly knocking down Maya Ibuki as she barreled to her room. Once she was inside, she checked a trunk she had that was full of random clothing. She found what she had needed. So she began her chant.
"Become another person… Become another person… Become another person… Become another person… Become another person…"
A/N: Yeah I got this from the Master of Disguise. I'll say right now I do not own any of that either.
NERV HQ – Battle Station
The technicians were taking full advantage of the "goof off day". Shigeru was tuning up the strings on his favourite guitar. He still wasn't satisfied with the current tuning and he continued to tune.
Makoto was reading manga books. He was on a new series called "Star Light". And he was really getting into it. It was about a group of kids who were trying to get an education at a military academy.
Maya was deep into a novel she had bought a few days ago. It was about two people who had a long distance relationship over the Internet, and the when the two finally met, they were surprised at what they saw.
Suddenly, Maya was brought out of her concentration of her novel by someone coming into the room. It was a woman with blonde hair and a white jacket. "Uh, what is it Doctor?" asked Maya as her superior came into the room.
"Something up Doc?" said Makoto also looking up from his graphic novel.
"Why are all of you goofing off?" a very angry Ritsuko inquired.
"Uhh, because we have nothing to do," replied Shigeru.
"Do you know the importance of your job? Did you forget that our performance can mean the fate of the entire planet?" Ritsuko was very angry. "The next person I see goofing off will be answering to Commander Ikari. Do I make myself clear!"
"Y-yes ma'am" answered the technicians in unison.
And with that, Ritsuko stormed out of the room, leaving three very frightened employees.
Ritsuko Akagi then went into Elly's room. She just stood there for a second, and then burst out laughing. "Oh my god. The look on their faces. I think I just made them shit their pants!" Ritsuko then pulled at her hair… to reveal a mask? Once the mask was pulled over the wearer's head, the wearer's pink hair could be seen. It was Elly! She had completely impersonated Ritsuko, matched her personality, and with a few secrets only known to masters of disguise, matched her height and body size.
"That was so much fun! I wonder who I should pretend to be next." Once Elly had finished pulling the entire disguise off, she saw the real Dr. Akagi walk by her room and wave hi, not noticing the costume Elly had just taken off. That's when Elly's next idea came in. "It won't be easy, but I think I can pull it off."
Ritsuko decided to come in a little late today. Nothing big was happening today. Commander Ikari wasn't even going to be in today. She figured she didn't even have to stay that long. Just make a few procedural checks, a few words to the technicians, and she could probably go home, if there wasn't any problems. There weren't even any sync tests scheduled for today.
Ritsuko checked a memo from Commander Ikari. He was inquiring if she had gotten more information on when EVA Units 01 and 02 had fused together. "Well apparently, he'll be disappointed at the fact that we probably know as much as he does."
She heard someone behind her. "Would I?" said a man's voice. Ritsuko turned around to face who it was and gasped.
"C-Commander? What are you doing here?"
Gendo appeared to pause for a moment. "Did you… get the message I sent?" he asked with some hesitation in his voice.
Ritsuko didn't catch the hesitation apparently. His presence alone could intimidate anyone, especially the fact that she was his former lover after her mother Naoko and his wife Yui. "Yes I did Commander," she replied, trying her absolute best to look professional. "We're still trying to determine the factors that made it happen. I think that the only way to get a lead on this is to ask Shinji and Asuka about what happened."
Gendo paused again for reasons unknown. "Good. That is all." The Supreme Commander of NERV then turned the other way and left. "I want results soon though."
And with that, Gendo left Ritsuko's office. He walked down the hall, being as intimidating as ever. He got people to salute him; he even chewed out one employee and told him he would never work in a civilized place if he screwed up again. Finally, Gendo made his way to Elly's room and shut the door. Then a girl's laugh could be heard from Gendo? It was Elly again! She impersonated Gendo Ikari, and it fooled everyone as well!
"Oh my fucking god, that was AWESOME!" she said aloud. "I swear, Ritsuko just about wet herself, and I think that guy actually shit his pants. Now there's one more guy I need to make an ass out of to make this scheme complete."
The halls of NERV (dark, quiet, and gloomy)
It was indeed another lazy day at work. Sometimes Fuyutski would want one of the Black Angels to show up. Then at least the facility would look like it had some life in it. Gendo Ikari had left him in charge for the day, and all he would relatively tell the workers were to be at their posts should something occur. That way, they could find some way to pass the time, and be ready in case something out of the ordinary should happen.
He heard somebody else walking down the hallway. So by natural instinct, he turned around to see who it was. He was actually surprised to see the person he saw standing behind him. "I didn't expect to see you here today Gendo," he said to his superior.
"I realized I had things to do," said Gendo. "So I decided to come and get them over with."
"I see," replied Fuyutski. He wasn't vocal about it, but he knew something was up with his superior. Gendo Ikari was never the type to leave ANYTHING unchecked. "Forgetting you had something to do, that's a rare occurrence."
"We are all human, we can all make mistakes," countered Gendo right back.
Now Fuyutski was certain that something was not right at all with his commander. 'Wait. What's that smell?' He could smell an aroma in the air. 'It smells like… strawberries.' And it was coming from Gendo. "Commander. What's with the strawberry perfume?"
Gendo was very still for a few seconds, as if he was coming… or trying to come up with a legitimate answer. "I was… fraternizing with Dr. Akagi."
Fuyutski now knew beyond a reasonable doubt that whoever was pretending to be Gendo was NOT doing a good job. "All right you faker," he started with a touch of anger in his voice. "I know you're lying."
"I am not lying."
"Yes you are, and I can prove it," replied Fuyutski. "I know you broke off your relationship with Dr. Akagi after Third Impact. Elly Simpson, before the wrong person catches you with that disguise, I suggest you discard it immediately before I will notify the real Commander Ikari."
"How did you know?" Elly's voice could be heard now.
Fuyutski narrowed his eyes. "Only one person wears so much strawberry perfume in NERV HQ, and Dr. Akagi uses blueberry perfume. If you get rid of that costume immediate this incident will never be spoken of. So get moving."
Elly quickly darted back to her room, her pride slightly damaged at not being able to fool the Vice-Commander. Once she made it back to her room, she took off the Gendo costume, cut it up with scissors she had, and threw the contents into the garbage.
"Damn!" she said aloud. "If I can't fool him, then I know I won't be able to fool Commander Ikari by pretending to be his dead wife!"
A/N: And there you have it! The first of the zany antics. R&R people. Be nice, and be honest. And remember, you can vote for whatever zany antic you want me to write next. Until next time, be cool!