A/N: All right! I got my laptop once more! Now I'll be able to work on these almost anytime! So let's bring on the next Antic! Alright Elly! No more hiding! Out with it!
NERV HQ – Elly's room (Think Pink)
We go to where we see a room, which is decorated almost completely in the colour pink. A boy and a girl sit on the bed enjoying the warmth the other had to share. As you may have guessed by now, it's Zack and Elly, our favourite OC couple.
"Aww don't worry about it Zackie," Elly said. "I was going to tell the blokes eventually."
"You were?" replied a shocked Zack. "But you said it was our secret."
"Yes. AFTER we were in the clear of any bitching from Misato," answered Elly. "Like say when we get married."
"We're getting married? Did I propose in my sleep again?" said Zack jokingly. "I gotta stop doing that."
"No worries, you didn't." Elly got up off the bed to go to her refrigerator. "Want a coke?" she asked as she looked through fridge's contents.
"Sure. Toss me one." In a flash Zack catches a can that would have flown right past his face. As he opens the can up, it squirts right in his face. "Ack!" he screamed.
"Don't you know not to open a can after it's been tossed or shaken?" asked Elly in a parent's tone. "Coke is so acidic, that you'd burn your eyes out if you got too much of it in them. She passes him a towel. "Here you go."
"Thanks," replies Zack sheepishly as he wipes his face. "You sound like the mother I never knew. Despite your choice of clothing, flirtation techniques, and your lack of political correctness, I think you'd make a great mother Elly."
"Aww, that's so sweet. I'd love to be a mommy someday," she said as she sat down beside him snuggling herself into his embrace. "Maybe you can make me a mommy…" she sighed dreamily.
"Uh, let's hold off on that. Misato found out we did it with protection and she raised the roof on me. Like I said, can we wait at least seven years before that subject makes its way back to the table?"
"Fine," sighed Elly with mock disappointment. "I was hoping I'd get a nice beautiful baby that I could dye her hair strawberry blonde like mine."
"Speaking of which," Zack wondered, "what is your real hair colour? I know your hair is dyed."
"Before I went in the pink, I used to be a blonde," answered Elly. "I died my hair after the tank episode."
"Yeah, you never told anyone about that. And you dodged the issue when we were all at Misato's flat." Zack looked into her eyes, "What there to be so embarrassed about?"
"I had no problem telling the story mate," replied Elly. "I just didn't want Asuka bitching the whole time and acting like she had permanent PMS. I bet she's just jealous because I've had more action in my life than she does."
"Then why don't you tell me the story," said Zack. "I promise you I won't get PMS."
"That's because you can't get PMS you goof!" Elly laughed. "Okay, I'll tell you the story. But only because you won't get PMS."
We go back in time. Back to when Elly was a blonde! Gasps - Sydney, Australia
"Okay Foster Daddy, I'll be back soon!" called thirteen-year-old Elly into her house as she was on her way out the door. She had been looking forward to this weekend. Well, teenage girls look forward to every weekend. She had her blonde hair let down freely, and wore her favourite set of pink clothes.
"Alright. This is going to be a blast Elly!" her more Asian looking friend said to her from outside the door.
"Let's go Brianna! To the Colossal Coral Reef!" shouted Elly to her best friend.
As the two best friends paced along, Brianna had a question for Elly. "Say Elly is it alright for you to wear that kind of clothing. As hot as your clothes look, aren't you worried about being targeted by some pervert?"
"I ain't worried mate," replied Elly, as she looked down at her fairly well developed body which was covered by a pink tube top with pink mini shorts, and pink flip flops, topped off with pink lipstick. "Daddy used to be in the army. And he taught me how to defend myself. Remember how I kicked the hell out of Will the other day?"
"Z-oh my god, I remember that," said Brianna. Her choice of clothing was more conservative since she wasn't as wild as Elly was. She wore loosely worn jeans and a yellow t-shirt. "Will was bawling his eyes out. Big baby. That fat ass spent the rest of the day waddling like a penguin."
"More like a warm-water penguin!" Elly laughed out loud.
They finally reached their favourite destination: the Colossal Coral Reef. It was a large ice cream restaurant that acted like any other restaurant did complete with waiters/waitresses and all.
Elly and Bri took their seats and waited for a waiter to come along. Once a waiter came along and got their ice cream orders. As they waited, they decided to bring up a subject from school.
"Say Bri, what'd you think of Mrs. Carmichael's idea of great poetry?" asked Elly. "If you ask me that was the worst thing I had ever heard since."
"Oh my gosh, that wasn't garbage that was pure shit!" said Bri. "Like what good is salt anyways? That was just… oh my god, fucking garbage. Like salt kills trees and plants, fish, and environment spray to stop the salt."
"And don't forget salt kills tires," put in Elly. "It's a tool of the devil I tell you."
"And don't forget this," Bri rolls up her left pant leg to reveal a large scab on her knee. "Who says salt is good for wounds? Huh?"
Elly pretended to go into thought, "Let's see. Uh, Sally, Carl, Jess, Brittney, and oh yes, Mrs. Carmichael!"
"They are so fucking stupid," said Bri. "Salt on a wound hurts like bloody hell!"
"Yeah I know." Elly turned her head to see their waiter coming with their ice cream. "Oh look here's our ice cream."
The waiter arrived at their table. "Ah here are two ice creams for two pretty girls. Butterscotch for the girl in yellow, and pink bubblegum for the girl in pink." He handed the two their ice creams and went off to serve other customers.
"Ah leave it to ice cream to hit the spot," sighed Elly as she licked her way through the pink ice cream.
"You seem to love pink," replied Brianna. "Everything except your eyes and your hair is pink."
"I can have that fixed if you like," said Elly. "I know where I can get the stuff to dye my hair strawberry blonde. And I can get fake contact lenses to change the colour of my eye pupils. Do ya dare me to it mate?"
"Go for it," challenged Bri. "I would love to see the look on Mr. Ralph's face when you walk in with pink hair. He'd have a heart attack and perhaps an ulcer. Z-Oh my god and old' Mrs. Shale would get the shock of a lifetime! You have to do it! You have to!"
"You're on!" declared Elly. "Waiter, check please," the blonde called out to a waiter passing by.
Minutes later the two girls were pacing down the street towards the drug store where Elly could go buy her hair dye and contacts. The current topic of their conversation was one of their favourite subjects, their favourite band The Lucky 7's.
"They are just so to die for," sighed Bri. "Especially James. Oh I wish I could glomp him and marry him."
"Whoa, that's a bit over the top," countered Elly. "I think Bob is the dreamiest one out of the four."
"No way, James is better!" shot back Bri.
"Wanna bet," challenged Elly. "Bob pwns James any day!"
"Okay this is getting stupid," conceded Bri. "We're fighting over two band members who are probably worth nothing on paper."
"I agree," said Elly. "Besides I don't think my future boyfriend would look that that anyway."
"Really?" wondered Bri. She put her hands on her hips and stood in front of Elly. "So who is this dream boy of yours?"
"Uh let's see." Elly put a hand on the side of her head and thought for a bit. "I don't know who he is, but I bet whoever he is," her face turns dreamy, "he comes from a faraway place, like a knight coming to rescue a princess from an evil king."
"Okay, back to reality. If I know you, you'll just end up going out with Will."
"If I were to go out with Will, my only reason for going out with him would be for another opportunity to kick him in the groin," chuckled Elly. "Why don't you go out with Will?"
"No way. I swear he still drools!" laughed Bri.
This got them both laughing until they froze at the sight they saw. Right in front of the two chatty girls, was a small military installation, with one guard at the post. Past the guard, they could see some large military vehicles and the rest of the base.
"This is where your dad used to work right Elly?" Bri inquired.
"Yea," replied Elly. "He did a lot of work on the vehicles. He even let me sit in the tank when I was just a kid."
"This place isn't that big," Bri pondered, "but I wouldn't mind going inside."
"I remember when I was inside. Daddy showed me around the entire base once. And since he was a sergeant, he gave me power to boss around his cadets. I made them all run around the barracks in their underwear!"
"Eww. That's gross!" Bri was holding her mouth. "But it sure would have been funny."
However, in the few minutes they spent out there talking, an event occurred. Not just some event that happened in the average thirteen-year-old's life. But it was an event that would set the wheels of Elly's destiny in motion. Luckily, Bri saw someone creeping up behind Elly. "Elly look out!" she screamed.
Elly twisted her head to her right and managed to see someone behind her. "Ahhh!" was her cry before her goat kick found the man's groin.
"Ahhh!" the man screamed as his weak spot was hit. As he doubled over, he never got to see Elly's right elbow find his nose. It was the soldier who had crept up behind her.
"Run!" the blonde yelled. "Let's get help!"
Bri didn't find it in her voice to argue. Some pervert had been robbed of a chance to violate her best friend and it wouldn't take him long to recover from a kick and elbow from a teenage girl. Not really thinking, both girls ran inside the compound, hoping to get some sort of help.
Not really knowing where to go, they ran and hid amongst the tanks that were stored near the entrance. They could hear the soldier nearby.
"Fuck where are those little bitches?" he grumbled. "Once I find them, I'll rape that whore till she splits in two!"
"What are we going to do Elly?" whispered Bri. "He's gonna find us. And we're not supposed to be in here."
"Shh, I got an idea," said Elly. "An idea he won't see coming."
The man heard whispers. Someone was talking on the other side of that tank closest to the entrance! Looks like they didn't know this area at all or maybe they were trying to hide from him. He walked up to that tank in particular. It was a medium sized tank, with decent firepower. The soldier swore he heard someone breathing. This made him more excited, as he knew was going to get some entertainment, and these two little bitches were the entertainment.
He crept around the side of the tank, until he knew he had them caught. As he whipped around, he shouted "Ah… ha…" To his surprise, there was no one there. Was he imagining things? He couldn't have. And there was nowhere else they could have run without anyone seeing them.
"I don't think he'll find us in here," whispered Elly.
"It's cramped in here," whispered Bri back. "Now how are we going to get out? He'll find us once we do? And it's pretty dark in here too."
"Uhh, I was guessing that he wouldn't think we'd hide in here. It's convenient the lid to this tank was unlocked," continued Elly. "Now we wait for him to leave, and then we sneak out and run like bloody hell out of this compound, and go get my hair dye."
Meanwhile, the soldier was frustrated. Where did those kids go? It had been too long now. Even if he couldn't get the time to have his way with them, the fact that they had slipped past his watch could warrant a week in 'the pit'.
"PRIVATE!" a voice boomed not too far away. "Why aren't you at your post?"
The soldier turned around to face the voice. It was the sergeant. "I can explain sir," replied the soldier. "I heard some voices around the tanks sir and it seemed suspicious."
"Really?" asked the officer mockingly. "What could be so suspicious THAT IT LEFT OUR ENTRANCE UN-FUCKING-DEFENDED? And by the way, what the hell happened to your nose?"
"I hit my nose on a shelf in the kiosk sir," lied the private.
"I see. Well at least it looks better than the piece of shit job you were doing guarding the post. So tell me, what ungodly force MADE YOU LEAVE YOUR GODDAMN POST!"
The soldier struggled to come up with an explanation, "I uh… heard some voices. Voices I didn't recognize. They were coming from over here."
"AND THESE VOICES MADE YOU ABANDON YOUR GOD-GIVEN DUTY TO DEFEND THE POST?" Just then, an odd smell caught his nose. "Hey, what the fuck is that smell?" He sniffed the air some more until he identified the scent. "That smells like strawberries." The sergeant glared at the private, "Don't tell me you're gay." The guard flinched in response.
Just then, he located the source of the scent. It was coming from the windows of the tank where the driver could see what was potentially in front of him. "Great, a couple of fruitcakes on my base!" The already angry man walked up to the tank and pounded on the side of it. "Alright you faggots, get the hell out here now!"
From inside, the sound and the banging startled both girls, who were already frightened as they currently were. Like in most animes, both girls freaked out and fell over.
To hear what sounded like high pitched voices to the major made him even more confused. He pulled out a gun now. "All right you squeaky bitches, come out with your hands up!"
"Oh no, he's got help," said Elly from her sprawled position inside the tank.
"I'm scared Elly. I don't want them to hurt us," replied her equally sprawled friend. Little did she know that as she was getting back to her feet, she was accidentally pressing all the right buttons, initiating its sequence.
"Look let's get out and if there's a problem, we'll scream," Elly decided.
"Oh fine." Suddenly, her feet slipped and she felt herself kick something, then they heard what felt like a loud roar of an engine. "Uh… oh."
"What the hell did you just do?" yelled Elly over the roar of the engine.
Outside, the two men were startled by the sound of the tank starting up. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" yelled the sergeant.
"How do you shut this thing off?" asked a frantic Bri. Frantically, she pulled one of the levers. In response, the heavy vehicle lurched forward.
"You dip, that's the throttle!" Elly shoved Bri out of the seat.
Bri now peeked out the window, "Elly we're gonna run into that booth! Do something!"
Outside, the sergeant and private had both run for cover. The tank was apparently rolling towards the kiosk, but at the last second, it swerved to its right and now it rolled onto the open road down the street.
The officer ran into the booth and called his superior, "Colonel, we got a situation. Some motherfucker hijacked one of the tanks and is taking off with it! I'm requesting an air strike!" He listened in. "You're letting the cops handle this? Are you nuts?" He listened in a little more as humility set in, "Yes sir. Sorry sir."
Elly looked at the controls, searching for a way to stop the tank. This one incident with a perverted soldier had now gotten way out of hand. "I think I found it Bri!"
"Good," replied Bri from her view of outside. "Pull it and let's stop this thing."
Elly tried to pull the switch, but to her horror, it was jammed. "Oh my god, it's jammed! I can't stop it!"
"Oh no, and we're heading towards the downtown area!" yelled Bri.
Downtown Sydney – Their day is about to be turned upside down
The lives of the people of downtown Sydney, Australia were peaceful at best. They had done an excellent job of psychologically, and economically bouncing back from the calamity that was 2nd Impact over a decade ago. People went about their everyday lives, doing a great job of putting the past behind them. It was like any other city, be it Toronto, New York, London, Berlin, or even Hong Kong.
However, nothing in the world or beyond could have prepared the citizens of Sydney from what was about to happen. Good thing a few people saw it before it was too late. But apparently, some nutcase was driving an army tank right into the downtown sector. Luckily some people saw it, and others heard it, as the tank roared into the area with many police squad cars following closely behind it.
Many people fled for cover, abandoning whatever they were doing as the tank razed through the area, pulverizing anything in its path. The police had difficulty keeping up with this machine as they had to maneuver around the debris the erratic tank driver left in its wake. Little did they know who the drivers really were: two frightened girls.
"Move! Get out of the way!" Bri screamed at the terrified citizens out the window. "Elly, I can hear police sirens behind us."
"No duh, they're after us," retorted Elly who continued to try to stop the tank to no avail. " And I bet we'll make the 6 o'clock news as well. I've almost got the hang of driving. Just tell me where to go so we don't kill anyone."
"Okay. But try to stop this thing before we do kill someone!" Bri peered out and took a look at what was up ahead. They had quickly exited the downtown area, leaving behind quite a bit of destruction in their wake, which included some flattened cars and some downed traffic lights. There were a bunch of cars in a lineup, and there were a few police deputies directing traffic. It didn't take the girl long to figure out that it was one of those funeral drives that they have. "HOLY SHIT ELLY! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!"
Luckily the people directing traffic up ahead heard the tank coming and quickly diverted traffic out of the way of the roaring machine of destruction. The only thing that was destroyed there was the deputy's car.
"Oh my god, that was too close," shouted Bri. "Say how much gas is in this thing? Can we run this thing out of gas?"
"Well according to what I see mate," replied Elly, "we got a full tank."
"Turn right, oncoming car!" Bri suddenly screeched.
Elly tried as best she could to turn the tank in the required direction. The tank lazily responded but apparently they didn't feel like they hit anything, so they were alright for the moment…
"No! Right! Right! WATCH OUT!"
Suddenly, something struck the tank with the ensuing inertia forcing them both forward.
The police saw the tank make some dangerous moves to avoid hitting some unexpecting cars, but now the tank had struck the median which separated the two sides of the road into the oncoming tunnel. Luckily for anyone that the tank had been brought to a complete stop. Now the officers had their guns drawn and approached the tank very slowly. Another officer had a megaphone on him and spoke into it.
"This is the Sydney Police. We have you surrounded. Come out now with your hands where we can see them. If we see a weapon in your hand, we will shoot."
As planned, the lid of the tank opened. And at the sight they saw, the cops almost dropped their guns, as two teenage girls climbed out of the tank.
"Captain, what was in that soup you made for lunch?" one officer asked out of curiosity.
Sydney Police Station
"So let me get this straight," a fat police officer asked Elly who sat opposite to him. "You're telling me that this man, Private Reevers attempted to harm you, and you defended yourself?"
"Yes. We were afraid he would hurt us and he had a gun on him. Hiding in the tank was the first place to hide because he'd never look in there," replied a trembling Elly.
There were two police officers in the room, along with Elly, Bri, their parents, and a lawyer that would be representing them.
"So why did you activate the tank and try to run him over?" asked the thin officer. "Do you have any idea how much damage your little stunt caused?"
"It was an accident," bellowed Bri. "We were going to come out when the man started yelling, but we must have accidentally started the thing up. We were scared!"
The lawyer interjected, "Do you have any idea how terrified these two girls were? So terrified that they decided to hide in a tank to protect themselves from a sexual predator. And I'm if I'm not mistaken, Private Reevers has been implicated in crimes involving many other little girls."
"That still doesn't justify using a piece of military equipment to run him over," the fat cop retorted.
"I still can't believe you're going to charge them," shot back the lawyer. "Once a jury sees how terrified these two were, and that it was Private Reevers, a convicted sexual predator who for some reason is placed at a guard post where he can target little girls and how they tried to make the best of the situation, knowing that the controls to stop the tank jammed, I believe they will tip in my favour. I'm sure there will be a few concerned mothers on that jury."
"You underestimate the power of the prosecution," chuckled the fat cop. "They'll be trying you as adults. And you two little brats will be serving jail time for a long time."
"So you got the information I asked for?" asked a voice of a middle-aged man.
"Yes Commander Von Croy," replied a female's voice. "The data from both Elly Simpson and Brianna Diwiryo are here sir. May I ask why you wanted their information so badly?"
"Oh you never know. Since they're in the system at the moment, I was just curious to see how much potential these two kids had." A shuffling of papers is heard as the man hums out loud. A silence is heard before he speaks again. "Well nothing really on Diwiryo, as expected. Now let's take a look at Simpson." He reads through. "Huh? Did I read that right?" he asks aloud. And so he looked through it again. "Oh my god."
"Something wrong Commander?" the woman asked with concern.
"Yes. Simpson's readings. They're phenomenal! She has the potential! We have it right here! I need to speak with her immediately!"
"I'll make the arrangements," said the woman.
"Yes! And make it top priority!"
It was quite the last 24 hours for Elly. She had been released into her parent's custody awaiting trial for a numerous amount of charges. The same fate had also befallen her friend Bri. Just like that, because some pervert wanted to get his hands on some breasts, and even though he failed, he had managed to almost completely ruin their lives. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was now indeed dyed strawberry blonde and she had fake contacts to make her eyes appear pink. This was to hopefully hide herself from anyone who may have seen her that day. She was wearing a pink t-shirt, pink jeans, and pink socks.
Speaking of her parents, they decided not to punish her at all, saying she acted on her impulses that told her to protect herself from impending harm. And they also had persuaded her to plead not guilty in court when arraignment time would come within a few days. Bri also wasn't punished citing the same reasons.
As she was about to go to the kitchen, the doorbell rang. So on impulse she decided to answer the door. As she opened the door, she saw a huge man sitting at the door. "Are you Elly Simpson?" he asked.
"I'm Commander Rainer Von Croy of NERV Sydney," said the man. "And I have an incredible offer for you Miss Simpson.
About a half hour later, Elly, her parents, and Commander Von Croy were all sitting in the family room. Apparently, according to the Commander, Elly was a very unique girl indeed. He told Elly's parents that he wanted to use her in a military experiment that could potentially help save the world. He promised that if Elly would agree to participate in this experiment and that she didn't tell a soul about it, Von Croy would pull some strings and that she and her friend Bri would be absolved of all charges.
"So Elly, do you accept my offer?" asked the Commander.
She thought for a moment, but when she shook the big man's hand, there was no doubt in her mind of her decision.
"So that's the story?" Zack asked, overly shocked. "So what happened to that soldier?"
"Last I heard," wondered Elly, "that bloke finally went to jail, and now he's the one playing the role of 'little girl' if you know what I mean."
"I think I do." He then took a look at the clock on Elly's dresser. "Uh oh, I gotta go. I overstayed my welcome again. I better get going before Misato thinks we were at it again." He sat her back up as he stood up and prepared to leave.
"Ah well. You can come back anytime mate, except when I'm sleeping." She reached up to give him a nice juicy kiss before he darted out the door.
Not long after he left, the phone rang. Elly then picked up the phone. "Hello, you've called the Land of where the Pink runs free." She then listens to the voice on the other end. "Oh hi Commander." Another pause. "Yes I'll get to it right away. And no I wasn't sleeping with him again." She listened in a little more before Gendo hung up.
Apparently the Commander wanted his dinner. "Joyous. He wants lobster tonight. Who does he think I am, the Wonder Chef?"
A/N: And there you have it! The 5th Antic in. Well I admit this one may not be as funny as the others. But just you wait for the next one! It'll be a real blast which I hope blows the other Antics away! Until then, be cool!