Archive: Azkaban's Lair, Remus POV. Short fic portraying the thoughts of Remus Lupin after reading the Daily Prophet one morning in November, 1981.

Spoilers: Up to book 3

Rating: G

Originally posted: Azkaban's Lair

Notes: Remus THINKS something happened which never did. Sorry if that's confusing

Warnings: Its pretty angsty


Sirius Black. That's the name that's all over the papers this morning. I couldn't believe what I had read. No one bothered to even tell me about James and Lily Potter. And oh God, Harry! Then here is Sirius's face plastered on the front page of the Daily Prophet with dark features and cold, unblinking eyes, ready on his way to Azkaban.

Tears drip on the page and make the ink smudge. I can't believe I had to read about this in the paper. No one cared to tell me I lost three of my best friends or the child that was orphaned. No one cared to tell me that Sirius Black, love of my life, had betrayed all of us, No. I had to read about it in the morning news.

Was I supposed to be next on his list? After he killed poor Peter, was it my turn? It makes me wonder if all his words were actually true. If all Sirius told me was lies. I can't even bring myself to call him Padfoot anymore. That name was reserved for a friend of mine.

No one told me about any of this. I am still in a state of shock. They said nothing when Lily and James died. Not when Harry had been taken to the Muggles. They never sent word of Peter Pettigrew to me. Not a single soul informed me of when Sirius Black's trial was. I would have liked to attend and ask him a few questions of my own. I didn't even suspect anything when he told me he had to leave for the day on Order business. I never assumed that goodbye kiss would be out last.

I would like to bring myself to hate him, but I cannot. The only things I feel are pain, rage, and a sense of betrayal. I'm thinking that this has to be the end of the world. You see, this must be the last day of forever. Because... Sirius vowed that he loved me... And he promised me forever...