The Quest

Chapter One: The Quest Announced

Helen: I own Megaman: Battle Network 4. I was playing it today, and I just got up to the part where the freaky-I'm-so-crazy-I'm-a-FaustVIII-wannabe-vampire was ranting about the dark chip, Enzan suddenly appeared and was all 'ooh, that chip's soooo bad', and Megaman was all worried, and I was hit by something.

Ketsi: And it wasn't a stick.

Helen: For once. No, it was an idea. In fact, it was one line.

Rockman: "Bluesey… Do you remember the dark chips?

Helen: Yes.

Ketsi: So the laptop was dragged out, and all homework was left, forgotten and to be dealt with tomorrow.

Helen: Names are as Japanese as I care to make them. My story, my rules.

Ketsi: The little 'Mettaurs' or whatever BN4 calls them will forever just be 'Met-Hats' to me, so that's what they shall be referred to as.

Helen: This has to be set quite far into the future so Enzan and Blues can use sexual favours to bargain with. And at least one time it had to be legally.

Ketsi: Well, as legal as it can get.

Helen: So this story may carry on, or it may suddenly become all lemony. You all know I support pure Rock/Blues, right?

Blues and Rockman: are making out in the corner

Helen: goes to watch

Ketsi: Disclaimer: Helen owns nothing but three Megaman games and a lot of fanart. Don't sue unless you wish to have the wrath of Hades inflicted upon you.

Hades: I told you, that contract ran out last month!

-T-H-E- -- -Q-U-E-S-T- -- -A-N-N-O-U-N-C-E-D-


Every few weeks, never with pattern and rarely with point or meaning, a meeting is held. The date, time and co-ordinates of the meeting are exchanged by the means of a bizarre, wordless code that causes brain damage to people who don't understand it. Getting permission to leave is nearly impossible, requiring a high level of skill and the ability to lie convincingly.

The second requirement took a lot of practice.



"I need access to the internet tonight."


"Erm…because it's pretty?"

Netto raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not meeting anyone."

"I didn't say you were."

"I know."

There was a moment's pause. "Ok. You can go."

Of course, if you couldn't lie well, it did help if you were partnered with an idiot.

-T-H-E- -- -Q-U-E-S-T- -- -A-N-N-O-U-N-C-E-D-

For the other, the ability to lie was already built in. But unfortunately, his partner was practically a genius.

"Enzan-sama, I am using the internet. All night."

"I dislike you having access to the internet for that long. There is a higher chance of viruses infecting the PC."

"Trust me, Enzan-sama. It will be better for both of us."

The comment was met with a cool stare. "How so?"

"I can research your project easier if there is a longer time limit. I can rest during the day." The comment was made with a completely straight, serious face.

Enzan kept his gaze for another minute before nodding. "Go ahead."

The ability to lie with a completely straight face is a wholly terrifying thing.

-T-H-E- -- -Q-U-E-S-T- -- -A-N-N-O-U-N-C-E-D-

Rockman ran as fast as he could, checking the time. He wasn't late, far from it, he was an hour early, he just wanted to get there first.

A Met-Hat appeared randomly in front of him. He didn't stop; instead he ran straight at it and kicked it as hard as he could. He smiled as he watched it fly.

Rockman skidded as he reached the door of the building. He stopped and leant against the doorframe, glaring at the Navi already inside.

"I am not buying the drinks this time, Blues."

-T-H-E- -- -Q-U-E-S-T- -- -A-N-N-O-U-N-C-E-D-

Four hours later, every drinking game the two had played had resulted in Rockman buying the drinks, and that inevitably led to him drinking them. Blues was frighteningly good at Go Fish.

Unfortunately, the red Navi broke most of the rules of Drinking Games by mentioning the word 'Drink' far too often and never pointing with his elbow. Because of this, Blues was now also very drunk.

Half an hour in, Blues had suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be researching a project for Enzan. He turned to the nearest two Navis, and quickly made them do the job for him.

"How'd you make them agree?" Rockman asked, looking at Blues through his beer.

"I promised sexual favours."

Rockman choked.

"How do you think Enzan-sama and I do so well with so little work? We've been using this technique for years."

"You what?"

That had been three and a half hours ago. Right now, Rockman's head was on the table, staring at Blues.


"Yes, Rock?"

Rockman sighed nostalgically. "Do you remember the dark chips?"


"They nearly killed you, didn't they?"


"And you made Enzan cry."


"I liked them. They were pretty."

"We should go and find some."

"Yeah!" Rockman's head shot up, but the head rush this created made him swiftly fall off his chair. "Let's go on a quest," he said dramatically from the floor, not bothering to get up. "A quest for dark chips."

Blues struggled to blink. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Yes!"

"I do a lot of quests," Rockman mused, dragging himself up with the help of the table. "Quests are our life…it's like…it's like someone, somewhere in the cosmos, keeps writing little quests for us…" Rockman grabbed Blues. "There's someone out there, I swear!"

Blues took a moment to blink again. "Yeah…it's like me and Enzan are always there just when stuff happens…like the dark chip…"

Rockman nodded fervently. "Our quest must now change!" he declared. "We must find the people who control our lives!"

From nowhere, Rockman produced a piece of paper and a pen and dropped them on the table. 'I swere that I wil joyn the kwest to find the controwler of the youniverse,' he scrawled, not noticing the appalling spelling mistakes that would make a four year old cringe. He signed it and passed it to Blues. Blues picked up the pen and coloured in his fingertip, then put his fingerprint on the paper.

Rockman then doodled stick figures of himself and Blues, standing on top of the world, holding two glasses of beer and dancing around a dark chip.

"As of tomorrow morning," Rockman said dramatically, "The Quest begins."

The two toasted with distinctly empty glasses before staggering out of the Cyber-bar and returning to their respective operators.

-T-H-E- -- -Q-U-E-S-T- -- -A-N-N-O-U-N-C-E-D-


Helen: So…I guess there has to be a second chapter then?

Ketsi: Hell yeah.

Helen: I really want that piece of paper with Rockman's doodles on it.

Ketsi: I really want Blues.

Helen: For the record – Rock is actually quite intelligent, it's Netto who's the stupid one. The spellings…I know people who can't spell 'as' when they're drunk.

Ketsi: Look forward to the next instalment of 'The Quest':


"Ooh, can I join?"


"Aren't you dead?"


"I have no idea where the spinach aisle is."

"Do they even have one?"