You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
Cause I'll never be with you.
James Blunt – You're Beautiful
He found her at her husband's grave and he was nauseated at the Lifetime movie moment of it all.
She looked good, better than he'd expected. He really didn't know what he was expecting. Some part of him hoped she would be disheveled, unable to keep himself together without him by her side. Right. Lifetime movie.
He should've stayed at the house, but the level of discomfort at being around Cameron's father was just too great. So when Father Cameron had said where she was, he had taken off, motorcycle humming.
She wasn't talking. She was sitting near two gravestones, twirling a daisy in her hand. She could feel him approaching. She hadn't heard the motorcycle, hadn't heard the soft step thump of his footsteps across the grass, but she felt his presence, looming over her.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
His voice was softer than she had expected, even given their surroundings. She continued to twirl the flower, staring at the stone to her right. Finally, she placed the daisy in a small holder near the stone, the single flower looking far too lonely in the field of green and gray.
"I didn't need any more of your sympathy. Still don't."
"Stop. I don't need to hear that from you. Apologies for a baby I lost two months after my husband died. Two days after she was born. Two weeks to early. Life in twos."
"Two weeks is barely premat…"
She cut him off. "When she was born, I could hear she wasn't crying right. She had a hole in her lung. They tried surgery." She spoke evenly, softly. "She was just too weak." She stood and finally faced him. "What are you doing here?"
He shrugged and they began to walk, slowly, toward their vehicles.
"Did you tell Wilson?" She looked at him sharply. "You told him how you fell in love with your dying husband's best friend. Did you also tell him you had a baby? Who's the father, any way?"
The expression on Cameron's face made him instantly regret his words, but they had been spoken, there was no turning back time now.
She looked to the trees, her face growing sorrowful. "Of all the men I had to fall in love with…"
"You didn't have to do anything. You can't make people do anything but die. That's the only true power we have."
They had reached his motorcycle and she gazed at it blankly. How had they gotten here? Just a week ago she was riding this very motorcycle, arms clasped around him, hair flying in the breeze. Kissing him. Feeling his skin next to hers. She sighed and turned her sad eyes on him.
She was shocked when she felt his lips on hers, rekindling the fire in her belly she had fought so hard to subdue over the last week.
She pulled back, fire in her eyes that was matched by the intensity in his. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to give you what you want. I don't know why you want me," House thrust his hands through his already rumpled hair.
She leaned against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. "I don't either. But I do. And you may think it's preventable, you may think I could have chosen not to love you, but I know otherwise. I want you because my heart tells me it's right, even if my brain sometimes disagrees."
He chuckled and it reverberated against her cheek. "Sometimes?"
She pulled back to look at him. "I know I've said this before. You're not a bad person. You do bad things, cruel things, to get your way, but I honestly believe you do those things for the right reasons. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you otherwise."
"You throw that word around so freely."
"What word? Love? You don't use it at all." She looked deep into his eyes, connecting to him with her soul. "You don't have to be afraid to love. You don't have to be afraid to love me."
"I'm not afraid."
"Then what is it? What are we? Are we even a 'we'?"
"I told you I can't give you what you want."
Now she was furious. "No. I will not buy into that lie. You won't give me what I want. Either because you're too afraid to or because you're too lazy to. I don't know. But I will not put up with it. I am not some plaything you can take or leave as you want."
House was surprised and yet pleased at her conviction. This was his Cameron.
"I was offered a position. At an office not far from here. Family practice. Not the excitement of a hospital, but I'd still be practicing medicine and I'd have a normal schedule. I'd be able to have a life."
He forced his eyes to meet hers. "Is that what you want?"
"You know what I want. You need to decide what you want." She stalked off toward her car. As she went to open the door a cane swung up and blocked her passage.
"It will never be flowers and candles and eternal honeymoon."
"Don't belittle me."
His entire façade cracked. Shoulders slumped, head lowered. "Come home, Allison." His tone was pure, and she new hidden behind those words was also "I'm sorry."
She reached up, touched the stubble on his cheek, watched as his eyes closed in response. "Greg…"
His eyes blinked open, blue meeting blue. The metronome of his subconscious was back, beating the same rhythm, but with different notes. "Love. You."
She smiled and whispered before she captured his lips in hers. "Let's go home."
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide