Christmas Past

A/N: Sorry, but I know squat about military life, so I'll do my best. Please forgive me. This fanfic will mostly do with the personal life of my favorite character, SSG Scream…so there will be little reference to the military.

PART 1

SSG Scream paced back and forth inside the communications tent. Inside his hand, he held a white card. He would occasionally flick the card against his left hand, while he silently debated whether or not to use it. After fighting his inner feelings, he took one deep breath and made his decision.

Scream (to himself)Goddamn it, I'll do it. It's only fair. I have rights too.

Scream picks up the nearest phone and starts to dial the PIN number on his white calling card. After several rings, there's an answer.

Voice on phone: Hello, may I help you?

Scream: Lindsay, I knew I would track….

Before Scream could get a seventh word out, he was met with a loud click and then an annoying, endless dial tone. He put the receiver down and stared at the phone for over ten minutes. Nervously, he tapped his phone card up and down on the table he leaned on. He was determined to finish the call he had made. She wasn't going to treat him this way anymore. Scream was persistent and knew if he kept calling then she would realize that he was still around and he still remember their past together. There was no way she was going to ruin his life any more than it all ready had been. He picked up the phone again and redialed the same number. Again, it rang and on the other end there was a click. Unfortunately, Scream didn't wait to hear anything else. He hung up first.

As much as he wanted this settled, he understood that as stubborn as he was and would always be, she was twice as pigheaded. If he kept calling, she would just pack up and move again and it would take him years to track her down again.

Flashbacks ran through his mind, as he tried to figure where he went wrong with her. What did he do to make her hate him so much? Who was Scream kidding? Everything he did in his life was screwed up. He had always a low opinion of himself from his very first memories. He thought of himself as unlovable. Someone that no one could care for or ever love. What made him think that it would improve as he got older. It just got worse, but now he had a solution to his problems. He could just run away and hide from them and no one would come looking for him, like they did when he was a child, and then it was only because the orphanage he grew up in had a quota of kids to keep on hand. From the time he was eighteen and completely on his own, he kept to himself to avoid human contact with others. No human contact, no human feelings to be expected. Joining the army, was the perfect solution. It would give him a life that, as far as he could see then, he didn't have. There he would have a place to live, food…rotten food, but food nonetheless and even get a paycheck. Most of all, nothing more was expected of him except to do his job. He was there to defend his country, not to make friends and that suited him just fine.

A quick push of the tent flab and strong footsteps on the hard dirt floor brought Scream out of his zone. A private had sat down on a cot that was positioned right behind the phones.

Private: You can't sleep.

Scream: No. (pause) I have five minutes left on this phone card, if there's anyone you want to call.

Private: You couldn't reach anyone?

Scream shook his head.

Scream: Nah, no one's answering.

Private: Shit, sergeant, I'd love to use your five minutes.

Without hesitation, Scream got up and handed the waiting private his card.

Private: Thanks Sergeant.

Scream didn't answer. He just continued to walk out of the tent, not looking back at the phone and once again keeping his past within him…a gesture which usually cause nightmares for him especially around this time of the year. Halloween was just upon them and within months it would be Christmas, Scream's least favorite holiday and the main source of his nightmares.

To be continued. Please read and review.