(Disclaimer: All canon characters are copyrighted by Sega. The
plot is the only thing that is owned by me, and no profit is or will be
made in any way.)
Author's Note: This is part one of a two-shot fic that I'm writing. This chapter - part one - is about Sonic's thoughts regarding Shadow. Part two will be about Shadow's thoughts regarding Sonic.
Both Sonic's and Shadow's thoughts take place during the Sonic
Adventure 2 video game only. Now that the confusion has been taken care
of, on to the story.
Reflections, Part I
I did not comprehend why I thought about him like that. I looked at him straight in the eye, and I noticed he looked a lot like me. Just about everything that I saw from him reflected back to me. It was just astonishing, but it carried a lot of negative impact with it.
When I first saw Shadow in Station Square that summer night, I was stunned. Aside from his black body, he resembled almost everything about me. From his attitude, to his outlook, to his skill, he looked almost exactly like me, like a mirrored reflection of myself.
I did not completely understand why I acted so angry at Shadow at the time. I knew I was mad at him for framing me, but that was only a part of the reason why I acted like that. When I saw him, another form of emotion boiled inside of me. I wondered what the feeling was, and I wanted to find out what it was that I felt towards Shadow. Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to figure that out, mostly because I was just too ticked off at my black counterpart at the moment.
While I was locked in a cell in Prison Island, I was able to calm myself down externally, but my insides were still feeling all this negative emotion. It confused me greatly, because this feeling was brand new. I had never experienced this form of negativity before, and it was this form of emotion that I wished I never encountered with. This new feeling towards Shadow… was envy.
I felt lost when it came to that. Why would I ever want to be jealous of Shadow? He was my enemy – my rival. I should not have experienced this awkward feeling. I did not understand why I felt jealous of Shadow at the time.
Throughout my stay on Prison Island, my thoughts were stuck on Shadow, and I felt something else inside of me besides anger and jealousy. I wanted to make sure he got his comeuppance. It was very surprising for me to feel this way. I am usually not someone who wanted vengeance, but this little speck of that third emotion was pushing me towards wanting to defeat Shadow once and for all.
All my emotions boiled over once I ran into him in the Green Forest. My anger intensified every time he mocked me. I wanted to pulverize Shadow for what he did, and I wanted to make sure he knew how I felt before it was all said and done.
Unfortunately, I was not able to do as I promised, because I had to help Amy and Tails escape the island before it exploded. Even though I was happy that my friends were safe, I was a little upset that both Shadow and I were not able to settle our score between each other. Still, it was a good thing that I did not encounter Shadow again during that stretch.
Albeit going through difficult obstacles along the way, I had time to think about my proposed envy towards my rival. I started wondering why I felt jealous of him and if my reasons were logical enough. During these thoughts, I was mentally lost, because I never actually found any real reason to be so jealous of him.
That was until my conscience told me to remember the two confrontations and what drove me to this feeling of anger. I told myself that I was not so sure what it meant, but when I looked deeper and deeper into my thoughts, I began to realize why I acted that way. During my battle with Shadow on Prison island, he matched my every move. When I tried to attack him, he successfully dodged them. And when he tried attacking me, I fended him off, too. However, unlike him, I was not able to get away unscathed. He was able to beat me down a couple of times. In addition, he was able to embarrass me during our brawl in Station Square. Maybe, my jealousy towards Shadow was blind, one that had occurred for no apparent reason. Either that or it was merely to cover up my anger towards him for making me a wanted criminal in Station Square.
Perhaps, that was the case. Maybe, it was because I was so mad at Shadow for framing me that I tried denying it by unleashing an extra amount of resentment towards him. Whatever the reason was, I realized that having an attitude like that was not going to help my friends as well as myself. It was clouding my once keen judgment, and I had to mentally prepare myself so that these negative thoughts would not get in my way.
When I spotted Shadow in the lower region of Space Colony ARK, instead of having the green-eyed monster, I actually started to admire him. Well… a little bit. I was able to notice his potential as well as his ability to manipulate the Chaos energy. On the other hand, I noticed something from him that I did not notice before. Even though it was extremely faint, I could tell by his red eyes that he was feeling some mental pain. That bewildered me greatly, because I did not comprehend why Shadow, as tough and strong as he was, would feel such extreme anguish.
Unfortunately, my thoughts would have to wait as I escaped the lower halls and threw the fake Chaos Emerald inside the Eclipse Cannon, disabling it. I felt relieved that I was able to destroy the cannon, but I also wondered about Shadow's pain behind his eyes.
When I heard about Maria's death and that Gerald programmed Shadow to destroy all the humans, I began to feel extremely empathetic for Shadow, for he seemed to be manipulated by Gerald and that it was apparent that Shadow and Maria were close friends, like being a brother/sister combination.
When I realized that Shadow had died after he and I battled the Final Hazard, I felt like crying, because it seemed that a part of me was taken away from me. Still, I felt happy for him, because he had accomplished his goal: He avenged Maria's death.
And after remembering these flashbacks of Shadow, I came to realize that he was not really a reflection of myself after all. He was someone who had a difficult past and tried the best he could to fight those demons. And I could think of nothing except to feel proud of him for doing what he felt was right.
And I strongly believe that Maria felt proud of him, too…
Now, some of you might've viewed Sonic as out of character here, mostly because Sonic is not one who would usually get jealous or act so aggressively. If you did view him as out of character and if it bothered you, my apologies for that.
Now, I'll conclude by saying that if you liked it, read and review to tell me. No flames, please, and I'll see you in part two of "Reflections."