I feel so lazy. I haven't done anything for almost a month, and when I do, it's a dialogue piece. Still… anyway. I'm sorry I've been missing, but I've been incredibly busy. I miss you guys (points out about three of you in specific) A LOT, so, seriously, catch up with me at my lj (my homepage in my info). Plus, there's a pretty header I know SOME of you would like. And emails are good too, except I don't the official reviewer of Dance Til Dawn ever got mine.

Don't own "Friends", though, I own Matthew Perry. Yes, girls, he's taken.

To Leondra, Amy, and Corina. Awoohoo!

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"The One Where They're Just"

"You know, I really don't like you sometimes."

"Okay."

"I think you tell too many jokes sometimes."

"Okay."

"And you're too perverted once in a while."

"Right."

"And mean."

"Yep."

"But on the whole…"

Pause.

"You're okay. Most of the time, you're a good guy, and I love you."

"I agree."

"What?"

Pause.

"Chandler!"

"Hm?"

"Are you listening to me?"

"If I said 'yes', would you believe me?"

"Chandler, part of being a friend is listening!"

"Oh."

"I'm adding that to my list of things I don't like about you: doesn't listen."

She stands up angrily.

"Hey, Mon?"

"What?"

"I love you too. Most of the time."

"But…. I thought you weren't listening!"

"Nope, just messing with you."

"Chandler!"

"Ow! Stop flicking me!"

"Stop being a jerk!"

"Stop being a bitchy girl!"

"Insensitive idiot!"

"Overly sensitive woman!"

"Immature, rude guy!"

"OW!"

"What?"

"You flicked Little Bing really hard!"

"Oh… how much does it hurt?"

"You know when someone rams into your breast?"

"…sure…"

"About five times that!"

"How would you know how much that hurts?"

"My dad has a penis and breasts, he's the expert."

"Ahh…"

Silence for a bit.

"So… are they still sore?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"I don't know. What am I supposed to ask someone whose balls hurt?"

"How about 'sorry'?"

"Sorry."

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

He smiles.

"You have beautiful eyes."

"You've got soft hair."

"Don't touch my hair."

"But it's soft."

"I didn't give you permission."

"You complimented my eyes."

"So?"

"You flirt with me, I can flirt with you by touching your hair."

"I wasn't flirting."

"Yes you were."

"Nope. If I was flirting, I wouldn't have meant it."

"What?"

"When guys flirt, we're just saying what women want to hear. We're not thinking about your eyes, we're thinking about… other stuff."

"Are you serious?"

"Yup."

"Men suck!"

"Yeah, we do."

"I hate men."

"Thanks."

"Not you."

"You're missing the completely relevant point that I am, in fact, a man."

"No you're not."

"Well, I'm missing a uterus."

"You're not a woman either."

"Trans?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"You're just Chandler."

"Oh."

"It makes sense in my head."

"Okay then."

"So, what am I?"

"In my head?"

"Yeah."

"You're just Monica."

"Are you just saying that because it's what I want hear?"

"No."

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"You think I'd lie to you?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

"Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"The puppy dog one."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes you do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Oh, shut up."

"You started it."

"You're impossible, and immature, and messy. And insensitive."

"Hm?"

"Are you not listening again?"

"Well, technically, since I was listening before, there can't really be an 'again'."

"I change my mind. You're just a guy."

"Okay."

"You don't have a problem with that?"

"I know you don't mean that."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you love me."

"Since when?"

"You already told me. Remember? Before you hurt my balls."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, you suck."

"You suck more."

"You suck the most."

"If you suck more than me, it's just impossible for me to suck the most."

Pause.

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

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Crap, I forgot to tell you it was random. Haha. Reviews rock!