Her Shattered Heart Chapter 1-Inner Struggles
The Celsius flew through the clear sky at what seemed like an agonizingly slow pace. The young sphere hunter sat on her bed, staring blankly out onto the world that lay below, her heart racing with excitement. She had received constant assurance from both Brother and Buddy that the ship was firing along at full capacity and could not be pushed any further otherwise the ship would indeed overheat and crash, killing everybody instantly the moment it came into contact with the ground.
Yuna gave out an exasperated sigh as she continued to watch the peaceful happenings of the people below. She knew that the ship was going fast enough, but at the same time her whole world seemed to be running in slow motion. She wanted to get home…now. She desperately wanted to see him again and yet, at the same time, she didn't. She was furious with Tidus for what he had done. Why didn't he tell her he was going to fade away? She could have saved him! Then she wouldn't have had to put herself through two excruciatingly painful years without him by her side. He had also broken his two promises he had made to Yuna over the duration of her pilgrimage.
'Not until the end…always'
'Just whistle and I'll come running…I promise'
But then, why was she hurrying? If she was that angry with him, why bother rushing? The Fayth had said that they would do everything they can…that didn't necessarily mean that he would be there when she returned. For all Yuna knew, she may even have to wait another year before she ever saw him again. All of a sudden, she found herself fighting a one on one battle with her conflicting emotions as they both sliced away at her already wounded heart.
'It's better to be hopeful…isn't it? I really do want to see him again…'
Do you really want to see him again after he's lied to you?'
'I love him…'
'But he lied to you…he hurt you.'
'He didn't mean it…he wouldn't have intentionally lied to me…would he?'
'If he knew that he was going to disappear then why didn't he tell you?
'He didn't want to hurt me…that's all…'
'He would have told you if he loved you…'
'He does love me!'
'How do you know if he even reciprocated your feelings? You told him that you loved him but he never replied did he? So how do you know then?'
'B-But he kissed me…that night in Macalania Spring…that proves he loves me doesn't it?
'How do you know he kissed by mistake? He might have only kissed you to make you stop crying.'
'No…you're wrong! He wouldn't do that to me! He wouldn't toy with my feelings like that…would he?'
"Would he…?" Yuna asked herself out loud as tears began forming at the corners of her eyes.
"Would he what? Who's he?"
Yuna jumped when she heard the other voice, and whipped around rapidly to see who had interrupted her silent struggle.
"Paine? What…what are you doing here?" She asked breathlessly.
"Well obviously…I came to tell you that we're arriving in Besaid shortly." She almost turned to walk away, but upon seeing the gloomy expression on Yuna's face she immediately began to worry.
"Yuna…are you okay? You look upset, is something wrong?" She lowered herself onto the bed gently and faced her troubled looking friend who was huddled in a ball and clutching a pillow to her chest tightly.
"I'm fine," she said, her voice carrying little conviction.
"I don't think you are…nobody does in fact. You haven't been yourself since after you left the Farplane. What happened out there anyway? You took your time in coming back."
"Well it's obviously not…but I can't force you to talk about it if you don't want to. I just want to let you know though, if you ever need to talk things over I would be more then willing to lend an ear." She eased herself up slowly of the bed, and turned to her back towards the former summoner.
"Thank-you Paine, but I'm fine really," Yuna said this time with genuine gratitude.
"Whatever you say…" And with that one final comment, Paine began back towards the bridge
Yuna watched the young warrior leave, and as soon as the doors shut, and Yuna was sure that she was alone once again (save for Barkeep) she went dived back into her thoughts once again, losing herself in their complicated maze of non-sensual banter. She anxiously sought closure after he previous battle with herself, but was finding it increasingly difficult to come up with a solution. Every time she came up with what she thought was proof of how much Tidus did actually care about her, another argument would rear its ugly head, shattering her previous ideal to pieces, leaving her with even more unanswered questions then she had to begin with. Yuna eventually came to the conclusion that the only person who could give her the reassurance that she so urgently craved could only come from one person…Tidus.
But would she get it?
What if she was right in thinking that he didn't really love her?
What would she do then?
Would he even be there?
Unfortunately, negative thoughts began involuntary forcing themselves into her mind, almost to the point where she was overwhelmed. She shook her head violently in an attempt to shake them all out, all the while telling herself that everything would be alright. Besides, there was no point in getting worked up about the whole problem until she had actual asked him. As she gradually came to this realization, her body seemed to relax. The nagging thoughts stopped and her heart beat and breathing seemed to return to normal…only to return to dangerously high levels seconds later when her eyes caught the sight of the quickly approaching Besaid on the horizon.
Yuna's eyes scanned the shoreline frantically for any signs of life and eventually came to rest on one lonely figure. At first she thought that it may have been Wakka taking his daily afternoon stroll along the beach, but upon closer inspection, she noticed that he had sandy colored trusses they were shining brightly, reflecting the sun…in an instant she knew who it was.
Yuna gasped, she was so delighted and dumfounded at the sight of him, all of her worries seemed to evaporate into thin air. All too soon, she was overflowing with happiness, and found herself running as fast as her legs could take her down towards the engine room. She was so caught up in the initial excitement of his reappearance; the nagging thought of whether or not he loved her seemed of the smallest insignificance to her right now.
The airship landed in the soft sand with a thud, and Yuna's hands immediately began mashing away at the 'release' button on the door repeatedly until it slowly began to give way. Unable to wait for the platform to lower completely, Yuna jumped out and landed with ease into the shallow water. As soon as she regained her balance, she began into a frantic lunge towards him, opening her arms wide, anxiously awaiting the warmness of Tidus' embrace.
But as she ran, the image of what happened last time she threw herself at him played repeatedly and relentlessly before her eyes in what seemed like slow motion. At that moment, all of her worries and fears came rushing furiously to the surface of her mind, sending her into panic.
'He's leaving me…no…no he can't!'
She ran as fast as she could towards him, Kimahri called out after her.
She fell through him, onto the cold, hard, metal surface below…
'No…this can't be happening, this has to be a bad dream! He can't leave me, I won't…I won't let…'
'Not again…Oh please Yevon not again!'
'Tidus…you promised…you promised 'always'
'You lied…you didn't come running when I whistled…'
'you promised…you lied'
"Yuna? What's wrong?" Tidus crouched down to her squirming form in the water, and gently sat her up. As he turned her to face him, he realized she was now trembling.
"Yuna! Snap out of it!" He tried to shake her, hoping that it would also stop the constant mumbling.
"I'm right here! STOP IT NOW!" He screamed in panic, enveloping her in a frenetic embrace. With that, Yuna's nightmare seemed to vanish before her eyes as her vision slowly returned to the serene sound of the ocean…and the feel of his warmth.
"T-Tidus?" Yuna questioned him in disbelief; he pulled away and met her puzzled gaze.
"Thank the Lord! Are you okay? You were really scaring me there!" Instead of responding, Yuna threw her arms almost painfully around his waist as she buried her face in his chest and began to cry.
Although he was shocked at first by her reaction, his expression softened and he simply let her cry it all out as he gingerly stroked her hair.
As soon as she seemed to calm down, Tidus picked her up in his arms, causing Yuna to yelp a little in shock. He looked down at her, an alarmed expression now apparent on her face. He laughed. "Don't worry, I just didn't want you to catch a cold that's all," he assured her quietly. He turned and began towards the shore…as soon as Yuna spotted Lulu and Wakka's suggestive looks she blushed madly, realizing how silly she must have looked to everyone. As soon as Tidus stepped out of the shadow of the airship completely, the couple was met with screams, cheers and whistles from the entire population of Besaid who were all clamoring to get a good view of the two of them. Yuna seriously thought her head was going to turn into a tomato she must have been blushing that much.
As soon as he arrived on the beach, Tidus placed the incredibly embarrassed Yuna back down on the sand. He laughed when he saw how flushed her face was.
"Awww, come on Yuna, it was only a little bit of fun! You liked it though didn't you?"
At his question, if possible, Yuna's cheeks went an even darker shade of red as she turned away.
'Does that mean he loves me?'
"I'll take that as a yes will I?" He laughed heartily, before turning to face his friends.
How ya doin' Wakka? Lulu? Who's baby?"
"Ours," Wakka stated simply as he put his arm around his wife.
Tidus felt his mouth drop to the ground.
"Yours?" He questioned obviously shocked.
"You betcha!" Wakka exclaimed proudly, dragging him closer so that he could examine the child.
"Whadyya think? He's cute ya?"
"Uhhhhh, yeah sure!"
"Hey Yuna!" Lulu called out to her, "We're going to start heading back to the village, are you coming? Or are you just going to stand there glowing like a cherry all day?"
'How am I going to ask him?'
'What would he say?'
Tidus snuck up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her close as he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"Yuna?" He cooed gently in her ear, while taking in her vanilla sent.
"What?" she jumped suddenly as she tensed up, frightened by the tickle of his breath on the back of her neck.
"It's only me Yuna," he told her soothingly and all at once she seemed to relax. "What's wrong? I've only been back 15 minutes and I can already tell that something is upsetting you. You can tell me you know.
Yuna simply nodded stiffly in reply, "I know."
"So what's bothering you?" He asked her again and although Yuna wasn't face him, she could tell just by his tone of voice that he was genuinely worried.
Yuna lowered her arms onto where his lay, laced tightly around her waist and patted them reassuringly.
"I-I have to talk to you privately about it," she whispered nervously.
"Sure thing…we should head back to the village now anyway." He loosened his hold on her, allowing her to turn and face him. He smiled, and Yuna smiled weakly back.
"Come on, lets go," he said grabbing her hand and puling her towards the village. She didn't answer him back, her mind already switching frantically to 'thinking mode' trying to think how she could ask him what she wanted to.
How was she going to do it?
But she needed to know, in order to put her mind at ease, even if she was being ridiculous.
She just hoped that she didn't push him away in the process…
A/N: And so here's my new story! What did everyone think so far? I've already typed the second chapter up so the quicker people review, the quicker the next chapter gets put up. I know that this chapter didn't seem very angsty but it definitely will be in the chapters to come. By the way, the final chapter of my other story 'Please Tell Me' shall be finished and posted within the next couple of days so look forward to that grand finale as well. Anyway, ENJOY everyone and REVIEW!