Summary: A man finds a book with handwriting in it on his morning jog. It tells a story of a girl's past. This is for everyone who has ever been bullied. For everyone who has ever looked in the mirror and felt they were ugly just because someone else said they looked that way. This is for everyone who has ever been betrayed, hurt, or emotionally beaten.
But most of all, this is for me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura.
Dedicated to: Teresa Nguyen, whose point of view was torn apart because someone couldn't understand what she felt through her eyes.
Sorry I haven't been updating clash, I've had my own inner battles to come to terms with before I could move on with that story.
He was twenty-two years old, lean with brown hair and fiery dark amber eyes. His feet pounded the sidewalk as he jogged through the brisk morning air. It was routine for him to wake up at six am and jog through the park for forty-five minutes daily. His work was stressful and demanding, and those forty-five minutes in the morning were all he had to himself besides sleeping.
He jogged down the path, and spotted a bench for him to rest. Panting, he sat down, only to find something beneath his bottom. He moved over, and noticed a navy blue book with nothing on the cover or back. It was slightly moist with dew, so he picked it up to discard it in the trashcan nearby.
His fingers slipped from the tiny droplets of water on the hard cover, and the book fell open. Instead of typed letters there was hand printed words, all spoken in first person. Almost like a diary.
"Hate." He read the first word that caught his eye. The young man looked around to see if anyone had lost it, before picking it up and putting it in the front pocket of his loose jogging pants.
He took the short route home, curious about the new book he discovered.
"Mr. Li! Mr. Li!" An employee whined, trying to keep up to her boss in her black high-heeled shoes.
"Mmmppf" Her boss mumbled in reply.
"I just wanted to check if this layout for the new vehicle was okay with-"
"God dammit Ms. Yanko, you've checked if that layout was okay with me seven times now. It was fine then, and it's fine now. Now leave me alone and stop calling my house and hanging up when I answer the god damn phone!" He huffed, his brown eyes sparking angrily while he walked away.
The young lady blushed, "Y-Yes sir…"
He sat down at his desk in his private office, and sighed. It was unsure workers that screwed up his business. His opinion was that confidence was everything you needed to succeed. He looked around his office, and opened his briefcase. He took out the little navy blue book.
"Property of Sakura Kinomoto," He read out loud to himself. He scoffed, "Never heard of her. Probably just another writer trying to get off their feet and make a couple of bucks. This kid needs a real job"
He flipped to the first page, and began reading.
It was my first day of grade two, and I was excited because my best friend, Naoko, was in my class. I had known her since I was 4. Her mother used to baby-sit me before and after school because my mother and father went to work very early and didn't come back until late. Since we spent all that time together, we grew to be inseparable.
Naoko had short brown hair and glasses. I had light colored hair that went down to my bum, and green eyes. Naoko was chubby, and I looked emaciated.
We were just told whom our teachers were, and my class was being led to their classrooms. I was one of the first students in the classroom, so I took a spot right in the middle of the room. When I was young, I used to be one of those hyper kids who wouldn't stop moving, but wouldn't say much either. I was afraid of teachers, so most of the time I was quiet. When I was with my friends, I was chatty and bubbly.
Students filed in one by one. But one girl caught my eye. She had long dark hair, and pretty purple eyes. I squinted my eyes.
I hate her.
That was the first thought that came to my mind as soon as I saw her. I hated her from the start. Something in my gut told me to hate her, and later in the years I found out she hated me when she first saw me too. We never spoke to each other, and we definitely never spoke of our hatred either.
We were young, and hate was such a strong word for our age group.
I was laughing with my best friend Naoko as we came in from recess. We both had best friend necklaces around our necks that my mother had bought us. They were a current fad and everyone had one.
I spotted the girl I hated, Tomoyo, talking with one of my other friends. Tomoyo was always very serious, and she obtained the highest marks in our class. She had a frown on her face, but turned to me and smiled.
"Hi Sakura!" She said cheerfully. She opened up her hand. "I want you to have this"
In my youthful eyes, that necklace was beautiful. The chain was black, and the charm on it was half a heart that said "Forever" on it. The heart was pink and sparkly. She had the other half, the side that said, "Best friends."
Amazed by how lovely it was, I thanked her and she put it around my neck. We smiled at each other, and then proceeded to swap phone numbers so we could play together sometime.
Accepting that necklace, however small that action was, was the very thing that created my life. It was the starting of a nightmare that ended several years later, but continues to haunt the dreamer in memories.
How ironic that the charm says 'Forever' on it, when I know that I'm going to remember her forever.
Days went by when Tomoyo finally called and invited me over. I was excited; it was the beginning of a new friendship. I got to her house, and was greeted with a friendly old dog. We played together, and her mom offered us delicious cookies. I couldn't remember having a better time.
"My mom doesn't want you to ever come to my house again," Tomoyo mused at the memory of her mother telling bad things about me. "She said you were too hyper, you eat too much, you're messy and your hair sheds too much and you were like bouncing off the walls! Haha!"
I frowned, what did I do wrong? Everything seemed fine to me.
"Oh… Ha ha ha" I said, pretending not to be hurt by the fact that her mom disapproved of me.
"Oh well, we can just play at your house" Tomoyo said, smiling. I smiled a bit too.
Years went by, and our friendship grew, but for the next two years we were in separate classes. We lost almost all contact, and I became friends with another girl by the name of Chiharu. We spent the entire summer together, and she was one of my favorite friends I had ever had. She was understanding, considerate, funny and playful. We loved teasing her cats, but grade five rolled around and I was met with chaos.
"Oh Naoko you're in my class!" I said to my best friend, whom I still managed to be best friends with. She sat beside me.
"Sakura we finally get to be in the same class, I'm so excited!" Naoko said, grinning. I smiled back at her, before I noticed Tomoyo glaring at me from across the room. She had been placed in the same classroom as Naoko and I. When Tomoyo caught me looking at her, she smiled at me.
Nervously, I smiled back. Was she… giving me bad looks?
It was at the moment I began to fear her.
During the first week of class, we were instructed to pick our lockers. We were given a small piece of paper to write our names on, and we could also color any design we wanted on the paper. I took a ruler and drew eight lines on the paper so it looked like a square pie. It was a little sign I had been doing since grade three, only the original sign was just a circle cut into eight pieces. I colored the pieces rainbow, got some tape, and put it on my desired locker.
During that time Tomoyo had been coming over to my desk and repeatedly interrupting me as I colored. I wondered how she had found the time to create her own locker tag, since she was at my desk almost the entire time.
The bell rang, and it was recess. I went to my locker to put on my outdoor shoes, when I noticed whose locker was beside mine.
On a square piece of paper with eight pieces all colored rainbow read the name Tomoyo. She had copied my design, and her locker was directly next to mine. I was flattered, she had liked my design and copied it, but she didn't have to do the rainbow colors exactly the same.
"Hey… it looks just like mine." I said to her, she smiled.
"Yeah I thought it would be neat if we had the same locker tag. Is that okay?" She asked me. I nodded. Naoko came out of the classroom, and the three of us went out for recess.
That year brought on an onslaught of fights breaking out between Naoko and Tomoyo. They both hated each other. I couldn't abandon either of them, so I chose not to take sides. My friendship with Naoko deteriorated once I became unable to play with her everyday.
"Sakura!" My mom's voice yelled. "The phone is for you"
"Who is it." I grumbled, getting off of the couch.
My heart sank. Everyday she would call at around 5pm and talk about nothing, literally.
"Hi!" Her cheerful voice said. The phone became silent. Everyday she would call me, and for two entire hours I would have to sit in the kitchen, holding the phone to my ear while neither of us said a word to each other. I would wait for two hours just for her to say something, anything, but usually the next word she said after "Hi," was, "I have to go, bye." I had no idea why she did it, but I suspected it was so Naoko couldn't ask me to play. We had call waiting, but every time the phone beeped, I would tell Tomoyo there was someone on the other line, and then she would tell me not to answer it. I obeyed.
It was two hours of staring at the fridge. Two hours of no TV. Two hours of having to eat supper late because it was rude to make eating sounds while on the phone. Two hours of complete silence. I didn't even know if she was still holding the phone. A couple times I would have to go to the bathroom.
"Hello?" I asked the phone, waiting for Tomoyo to give me permission to go to the bathroom. The other end was silent. "Hello!"
Frustrated, I hung up the phone. Just as I started walking away, it rang. I picked it up.
"Why did you hang up" She questioned me harshly.
"I had to go to the bathroom." I said.
"Oh" She said in a monotone voice. From then continued another hour of silence on the phone.